EASILY CURE LONELINESS AND MAKE YOUR DICK HAPPY. TODAY!

EASILY CURE LONELINESS AND MAKE YOUR DICK HAPPY. TODAY!

Really want a girl? A girl you can do whatever you like with? Whenever you like? Well...

Now you can! - How, you ask? Let me tell you... We are going to play a little game. It will be fun. I'll tell you about it in a minute... First let me tell you about myself...

I am a girl. I am called Steph. 24 years old. Been called gorgeous. Sweet enough smile to make you give up sugar forever... Long flowing blonde hair. Nicely sized boobs and one hell of a tight ass if I do say so myself :) - Let me tell you something about me...

I love the idea of a guy controlling me and having his way with me... So... let me ask you a question:

Would you like to control me...? Would you enjoy that...?

You can do WHATEVER you like with me. ;-o

And I mean, WHATEVER you like with me, WHENEVER you like, for free. Forever.

Pause for a second and think about that for a second. Sounds good right? If I was a guy I am sure I would love the idea of it too :)

We can start on Skype, and maybe one day... we can see each other in real life. :)

So now your thinking... Well this all sound great but, how?

Well, only ONE of you can win me. Here's what is going to happen:

All of you are going to post messages here saying nice things about me. Along with your email or some other way of verifying and contacting you.

The winner is the person with the nicest most heartfelt message of love and appreciation.

REMEMBER:

I don't have to like the look of you or anything like that. I don't get to pick. The winner gets me FOREVER. It's that simple.

I once had a cat and it's name was frank

Now baby, I am sure that cat was very lovely. But it's not going to make me feel all warm and fuzzy. ;) - Be creative

Yeah thats not going to happen slut. Also tits or gtfo.

Op has a dick 100% bet money

You shouldn't talk to girls like that! Its... Unbecomming. But of course you don't have to take part... But that makes me sad :(

>I'm here to collect email adresses. Totally not to spam them with irrelevant marketing bullshit
FUCK OFF

I thought we would encounter this problem of you gentlemen reckoning that I am in fact a man and not a girl. All I can say is the winner will be very happy when he sees me. :)

op is a sea poorfag scammer

If I was going to seriously collect email, I certainly wouldn't use Sup Forums as a medium for doing so. Despite the many people who frequent these boards, there are no where nearly enough posters and readers to harvest any decent levels of e-mail addresses. It would be a complete waste of time. There is also the culture aspect, people who frequent Sup Forums are particularly non-compliant and rebellious.

tits and timestamp or not playing your shitty game

Alright I'll bite

I love the way you talk. It's very cute.

Discord name: russss

Hmm come on guys. In the meantime would it help if I took some pictures of myself with a sign with today's date on it etc?

First genuine compliment today. You are of course winning :) - I am completely serious, as things stand you will win me.

yes

You know how this works.

Hi! Few things to start off with =]
1. Yes I answered you because you're a femanon, 'tis an awesome thing to see!
2. I'm Brian.
3. Don't be intimidated, but I'm not a stereotypical guy. If anything, I'll be the one in the kitchen =D.

>=]
>=D
kill yourself

falling for this pasta, retard

Tag #1152

Aw thats so sweet thank you and nice to meet you Brian:) - I do like a guy thats good in the kitchen
;-P

lurk more cancerboy

get cancer op

>3. Don't be intimidated, but I'm not a stereotypical guy. If anything, I'll be the one in the kitchen =D.

The cringe and the clench of my sphincter nearly killed me. Thank you, you asshole. Now i'll have to shit blood for the next 3 weeks.

Faggot...

> Wants to be controlled
> Goes for the biggest faggot imaginable

OP confirmed b8

no picture of yourself..

oh well wouldnt win anyways :P would just be used as a sextoy and choked all the time

I realise it's standard practice here for residents of Sup Forums to tell people to get cancer, and most of you are completely desensitised to just what a deplorable thing it is to say. Regardless of how irreverent and brutal you can be while you sit comfortable and safely behind your computer screen, I think it is worth mentioning just what a simple minded and lazy thinking dolt you have to be to post a very hateful and massively circulated message. There is no creativity there, no style, panache or wit. I speak it speaks volumes of your character, and I am pleased you have opted not to take part in my little game.

I think it's funny that he said he is a guy who can be found in the kitchen, any girl who actually wants to be controlled and craves being controlled would get tired of that, they also don't like compliments all the time, that's why they get double sided comments... I mean if OP is an actual girl which there is no proof of she wants a guy to control every aspect not a fedora tipping neckbeard

Nah Sup Forumsro I'm winning

There have only been two people taking part

tldr faggot, get raped, get cancer and then die

I will take some. Tell me what you want, you guys are hard to please, and don't seem very trusting. But, keep posting those lovely messages :)

>Nah Sup Forumsro I'm winning

>2016
>still calling these lowlifes "people"

Russsss from 'discord' is winning so far people. Just to let y'all know. I am touching myself right now by the way. All of the anger and testosterone here has just gone right to me ;-)

[email protected]

op u r fuckin perfect m8.

you're a flower. you're also a rainbow and a river. you are the manifestation of all perfection and i want to i don't fucking know. i want this to not sound gay, but you are fucking perfect, op.

ty for listening

I guess I will bite... From your previous description of yourself you sound quite lovely. I bet your skin is soft and smells real nice. :) I can't wait to win and wear your skin as my own. X) ;) :)

I'm not gonna give you a compliment, I will say that if you are genuine I'll make you feel good about yourself but never too good or confident, and I'll push your limits in our sex life, with where we do it and what we do.

Wowza, almost shed a tear, that was beautiful. Thank you so much. I have to say... You are in the lead.

Sorry forgot my email. [email protected]

Aw thank you :) these are getting good guys :) You so lovely

[email protected]

wow u have a great personality and are really hot.

That's cute. I bet you do too :)

[email protected]
You are a stupid skank. I'm not going to bend the knee and grovel for some dumb slut who's used to getting her way. How about you do me a favor and email me a picture of you with a fat sharpie in your ass because shit like that is probably all you're fucking good for.

Then send pics for Gods sake. Or at least to me. I'm btw

harder

rollerando

I'm still a chode, just saying.

Ooo, I started reading that message, and the predictability and vitriol almost had me rolling my eyes, but by the time I had got to the end I think I became about 69% hornier. You sound like a baddd boy ;-) - However you can't win because you have played the game in the wrong way :-(

well timestamp, and face / body

and im not gonna post nice messages xD or compliments :D im not your bitch. you're mine if anything

The real cure for loneliness and sad dick

Holy Christ, you know there used to be a day where a thread like this got no responses and 404d soon after. But nowadays there are always multiple 13 year old queers who think it's totally legit despite no real picture being posted in nearly 50 posts and bump it nonstop bringing other people in to argue and call out the bullshit. God bless b and all the underage permavirgins with raging hormones that don't know what tits feel like.

I will be yours. But I am not yours yet. Take part. You have to if you want to have a chance of winning. So any body shot with my face? And you time a date as well I guess

The guy who wrote this paid 35 bucks for an Ebook he saw advertised on a porn site. It was probably called something like "Girlfriends hate him! One guy gets any woman in 5 seconds and fucks her with this one simple trick and you can too!

What he says does apply to a large portion of women tho.

It's a meme you dip.

I love you, i want to stick my feelings in your anus.

>send you nice comment
>won't even post pic of a vague body part
Well it was fun OP. Enjoy your beta orbiters

Ill take a stab, why not.

18, athlete, snowboarder, only into small women, not looking for a girlfriend, am looking for pussy.

Youve got a very cute, outward way of talking. I really like cute tbh. I agree very much with your previous posts stating how this board is a monotonous circle of hate, and i think thats pretty rad of you. I like it when they stand out in a crowd, yknow.

Email: [email protected]

Don't be grumpy. Come on take part, play the game. Stop creating excuses and justifications for not playing.

Of course we aren't trusting. Hundreds if not thousands of men post here every day pretending to be women. If you want us to play your game then take a pic of you holding a piece of paper with the following info
>The date
>your current time zone
>your current time
Then we will shower you in compliments.

you're just jelly cause i'm going to be dumping a hot load in her ass whenever i want

i think this was meant for you not me..

and nah im fine :) got the girls i need... just saying i wouldn't ever compliment someone asking for it :P

You do realize even if it is a she (.0001% chance) that she is probably in a different country

@trips

Noice

I am going to put you into the lead :) - that message showed a lot of though. It was unique and beautiful. Interesting your only into smaller women. You mean as in petite, or just not fat haha? I am about 5'5 and athletic. I've been told I have a great body.

This thread is proof that feminists are right and men are inferior. Good lord, I hope this small sample of pathetic faggotry is not representative of all men. Look at these fucking embarrassing little faggots actually buying this. 'm expecting some fucktard to start white knighting any minute for the troll op.

If you can accommoDATE, I can reloCATE ;-)

Sorry
Was meant for

AND on the 17th day after numerous unwanted advances by poorly groomed men online, our good and holy father above decreed that all women upon the interim networks shall declare their honesty through a show of breast or immediate surrender, lest they be cast down unto the fiery pits of trollage whereat they shalt be forever more declared a neckbeard faggot.
Leviticus 9:11

No one is actually buying this nigger. All the responses are pretty much tits or gtfo or "why haven't you posted a pic"

ah no worries user, its caturday. sit back relax and take a drink while enjoying the shitposts ;)

Yeah, very much into petite. Just letting you know before you put me 1st that im not emotionally stable, and have never held a relationship for more than a week. Which is why im not into dating. If your into exchanging nude pics, im pretty useful for that. 7.1 inch.

Apparently you are not reading the thread. There are people doing exactly what the male op asked.

Ill grab you by the pussy

email is : [email protected]

First of all, what country and state are you in??

>OP isnt same tagging his thread
You've been here all summer right?

Mmm. That sounds nice ;-)

Like this fucking homo right here, what an absolute fucking tool moron. There's no way this rimjob is trolling or posting this ironically, he actually means it.

...

...

True that.
>tfw I have a slim wife who is bi so I get threesomes regularly and don't have to worry about whore men on the interwebs

Hadn't thought of that but yeah probably is.

Why not just yolo and take a stab at it? Whatve you got left to lose, your completely anonymous.

op you sound like you want/need someone to take care of you, this isn't a compliment i know but that shit gets me hard

i'll relocate you, keep you, treat you like a queen in public and treat you like an absolute whore in private

i've always wanted a petite little fucktoy i can dote on

who the fuck knows if this is true or not, only one way to find out and i might as well bite

names james, 23, easy going guy

i just the sound of you, you sound really gorgeous and pretty hot if im honest. i am thinking about all the things that i would love to do to you. i really would fuck you up if thats what you want

[email protected]

lies ! you jew

Your like a magical unicorn. Your beauty is not of this world. You are majestic and one of a kind. It would truly be an honor to skin you alive and wear you like a onesie for years and years to come. [email protected]

Im the tool. Refer to:

Didn't need to find out that you were a kike to know that that is clearly a lie.

Very touching... Poetic. Nice description there. The part about skinning and wearing as a onesie was maybe a tad overkill though ;-) not quite sure if im kinky enough for that. haha.

Actually I'm a greek and a truther.

>86 replies
>30 posters

No everyone is in here lying about all the pussy they get because suddenly everyone in here is a fucking chad and not neckbeards begging for attention from a male pretending to be female.

Except I'm not lying

Your not taking me serious. If I ever found you I would literally skin you alive for the fucking ridiculous cringe thread

[email protected]

Fuck it, I will bite just because I have nothing better to do. Let's embrace the cancer.

>She speaks:
>O, speak again, bright angel! for thou art
>As glorious to this night, being o'er my head
>As is a winged messenger of heaven
>Unto the white-upturned wondering eyes
>Of mortals that fall back to gaze on him
>When he bestrides the lazy-pacing clouds
>And sails upon the bosom of the air.

For when the night falls, the snowflakes silently drifting towards the ground and laying a sheet of brilliant white to only be disturbed the next morning, for when the hum of the city fades into nothingness, for when the quiet threatens to burst my eardrums, I want to fall asleep to the feeling of you near.
I am soon to be an enlisted soldier, by the way. I want to survive everything to come back home to you.


THERE, happy?

Which parts do you find cringy exactly?

cringe

Your a little slut and I wanna rape you

That was BEAUTIFUL. This is what I am looking for boys! This man is now the current leader. Congratulations. That was really lovely ;-o

Yeah, I know, but I had a beer or three and why the fuck not. Someone wants attention, I will give it to them just this once.

Hi OP, could you maybe tell us the country you live in? Thanks.