ITT: You post shit for me to say and record and I will do it

ITT: You post shit for me to say and record and I will do it.

instaud.io/E6F

Other urls found in this thread:

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instaud.io/E71
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instaud.io/E73
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twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

Two to the one and the one to the three, I like to succ on a chubby guy's D.

>the earth is flat

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Sorry for the long ass time, was busy. Keep em coming.

Say this:

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

Say "We have failed as a species"

Nice meme.

instaud.io/E6V

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Rawr x3 nuzzles how are you pounces on you you're so warm o3o notices you have a bulge o: someone's happy ;) nuzzles your necky wecky~ murr~ hehehe rubbies your bulgy wolgy you're so big :oooo rubbies more on your bulgy wolgy it doesn't stop growing ·///· kisses you and lickies your necky daddy likies (; nuzzles wuzzles I hope daddy really likes $: wiggles butt and squirms I want to see your big daddy meat~ wiggles butt I have a little itch o3o wags tail can you please get my itch~ puts paws on your chest nyea~ its a seven inch itch rubs your chest can you help me pwease squirms pwetty pwease sad face I need to be punished runs paws down your chest and bites lip like I need to be punished really good~ paws on your bulge as I lick my lips I'm getting thirsty. I can go for some milk unbuttons your pants as my eyes glow you smell so musky :v licks shaft mmmm~ so musky drools all over your cock your daddy meat I like fondles Mr. Fuzzy Balls hehe puts snout on balls and inhales deeply oh god im so hard~ licks balls punish me daddy~ nyea~ squirms more and wiggles butt I love your musky goodness bites lip please punish me licks lips nyea~ suckles on your tip so good licks pre of your cock salty goodness~ eyes role back and goes balls deep mmmm~ moans and suckles

please deliver op

Mate, say we wuz kangz and sheeit but the whitey cam took our lands and sheit and computer are racist

i want 2 numma nines a numma nine large a numma six with extra dip, a numma seven, 2 numma 45s and a large soda

Just me and my daddy, hanging out I got pretty hungry so I started to pout. He asked if I was down for something yummy and I asked what and he said he'd give me his cummies! Yeah! Yeah! I drink them! I slurp them! I swallow them whole. It makes daddy happy so it's my only goal... Harder daddy! Harder daddy! 1 cummy, 2 cummy, 3 cummy, 4 I'm daddy's princess but I'm also a whore! He makes me feel squishy! He makes me feel good! He makes me feel everything a little should!~ Wa-What!

PLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASEPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE DELVIERPLEASE

instaud.io/E71

I had to compress this shit in MP3 as it was too thiccccc.

kek thats fine i like mp3s better

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Gotta love Big Smoke

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Jesus fucking christ, just gimme your cummies.

DO THIS OP

It's done fagit ^

Women should not have the right to choose who to mate and breed with. That decision should be made for them by rational men of intelligence. If women continue to have rights, they will only hinder the advancement of the human race by breeding with degenerate men and creating stupid, degenerate offspring. This will cause humanity to become even more depraved with each generation. Women have more power in human society than they deserve, all because of sex. There is no creature more evil and depraved than the human female. Women are like a plague. They don’t deserve to have any rights. Their wickedness must be contained in order prevent future generations from falling to degeneracy. Women are vicious, evil, barbaric animals, and they need to be treated as such.

Unbreakable Union of freeborn Republics,
Great Russia has welded forever to stand.
Created in struggle by will of the people,
United and mighty, our Soviet land!
Sing to the Motherland, home of the free,
Bulwark of peoples in brotherhood strong.
O Party of Lenin, the strength of the people,
To Communism's triumph lead us on!
Through tempests the sunrays of freedom have cheered us,
Along the new path where great Lenin did lead.
To a righteous cause he raised up the peoples,
Inspired them to labour and valourous deed.
Sing to the Motherland, home of the free,
Bulwark of peoples in brotherhood strong.
O Party of Lenin, the strength of the people,
To Communism's triumph lead us on!
In the victory of Communism's immortal ideal,
We see the future of our dear land.
And to her fluttering scarlet banner,
Selflessly true we always shall stand!
Sing to the Motherland, home of the free,
Bulwark of peoples in brotherhood strong.
O Party of Lenin, the strength of the people,
To Communism's triumph lead us on!

I used to be a grilled cheese fanatic. People would make fun of me for ordering this everyday snack at America’s finest restaurants, but to me, it was worth it. It was a pleasure observing the painstaking care that went into every 20 dollar grilled cheese: the pairing of cheese and bread, the texture of the bread, the choice of garnish…
But everything changed when I took a bite into my first cheese quesadilla since elementary school. Yes, there are plenty of wonderful gourmet grilled cheeses out there, but this fateful cheese quesadilla reminded me why I fell in love with the grilled cheese in the first place. The simplicity of the cheese quesadilla spoke to me more than prestige and truffle oil ever would.

oh i love sneezing on hard cocks oh atCHOO!

iCarly was one of the most revolutionary shows ever to grace this Earth. It was the pinnacle of Nickelodeon's creative talents and hard-working actors to make a truly stunning show which would capture the hearts of millions. There have been absolutely no criticisms of this show, it is unflawed and perfect, in fact, IMDB has only 10 star reviews for this show. The comedy used is genius, never being repetitive and always using new gags to entertain the respectable audience. iCarly revolutionised the TV market, with jokes and ideas no one had ever seen before, like recounting the lives of famous fictitious teenagers' lives and milking out a show for a few years. They are always full of witty jokes and hilarious situations, and the character development is brilliant. I would tell everyone I know about this show, but sadly I have no one to talk to because I'm a lonely reviewer on the Internet who makes no money and lives in their mom's basement watching iCarly everyday and moment of their lives. Overall, I'd give this show an 11/9, because it is of a much higher quality and perfection than even the likes of Lazy Town and the Shooting of Harambe. Now if you excuse me, I'm going to go jack off to iCarly porn on rule 34 and ship Spencer and Gibby together on Google+.

instaud.io/E7d

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

ALREADY DONE YOU NEGRO

All my life I've been fascinated with history, and beginning in middle school (around age 12) I became especially interested in the Holocaust and the Nazi regime. Every time the subject came up in school I would pay attention moreso than in other classes, and no matter the class I would try to relate papers and assingments back to my passion: the Holocaust. Obviously people took notice, and I became known as the kid who liked the Holocaust. Most of them didn't think it was too weird, they just thought it was a hobby and they would sometimes talk to me if they had any questions. I didn't think it was weird either, I just found the horrible atrocities fascinating to learn about. Because of this interest I majored in history at Harvard College, despite what people said about history not being the safest major due to lack of jobs. Regardless I pushed through, got my PhD, and wrote all the papers I could on my beloved Holocaust Come the end of the education chapter in the book of my life I had to move on and find a job. But what people said was right. There were no jobs for a Holocaust fanatic such as myself. Within a year I was homeless, living on the streets. I'd curl up in my refrigerator box, thinking back on my life. Was it worth it to major in what I loved, was it worth being homeless to persue my passion: the Holocaust? I had never been able to answer that question. Because I just didn't know. That is until now, now I know it was all worth it, because I can say with absolute certainty that your font is literally worse than Hitler.

instaud.io/E7e

Ft. My Pathetic Attempt At A Russian Accent

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Dude say ... all you had to do Cj, was to follow that damm train..

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Still doing this, post while ya can.

I, like many of you, suffer from problems. My problems don't involve any of your implausible ones, but mine are worth voicing to you in hope of getting some advice. Anyways, I began to watch Azumanga Daioh about a month ago, and as I dove deeper and deeper into the series, the more and more I fapped to hentai of it. I continued to do so until the last episode. Then I watched the series again...and again... and again... I found myself checking out Osaka every on-screen moment she had. I began to stop going to my regular sites just to look at hentai of one person: Osaka. I eventually had 1000s of pictures and some doujins of Osaka. I began to spend what others called absurd amounts of money on merchandise, and my apartment is coated with Osaka everywhere. I've shut myself off from family and friends and felt an urge to just snuggle with my Osaka dolls. Osaka is all I need. She probably wouldn't like the way my family is or how my friends behave. I'm in love with Osaka. I keep praying that she'll come to see me one day and decide to live with me. I have nothing left to live for but Osaka. I know she can hear me, so I always talk to her telling her to come and visit me so our union can take place. So this is where you guys come into the picture. You're an all-purpose advice board. You definitely must know a way to help Osaka break free from behind her glass prison.

I love you Stephanie and I'm sorry I fingered you and woke you up so many times that you just gave up and let me, even Asked me to do it before you fell asleep so that you could get a good night's sleep unmolested and uninterrupted. I'm sorry I didn't just Fuck you so you'd have known what a man's cock can be- a source of pleasure and orgasms. Now, you claim to be bi or a partly lesbian. I just think it's time to take my cock. I see you bought some starter butt plugs, so if we wanted to do anal first you wouldn't have to worry about getting pregnant with a two headed freak baby.
Love, Daddy

instaud.io/E7s

Couldn't pronounce half of this shit.

instaud.io/E7u

"I'm Sam's new fuck buddy. You can fuck off."

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