Ask a drunk british guy some shit

Ask a drunk british guy some shit..

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drunk bump

c'mon fags, waiting here..

How does it feel to live in nofapaslvokia? Do you feel sad knowing your county is fucked?

OP: I feel like we're all going to perish in the next year or so..

Preparing for the end

Bangers and mash while licking a fanny all the while sitting on a toad in the hole.

fuck a doodle do

Fuck off smeg face

OP.. Why did you fuckers vote for Trump?

What's the weather like today?

Do you like French girls?

How do you feel?

~B

Impressive.. i like your enthusiasm

Weather is cold,
French girls are hairy.
I want to kill myself.

I love cold weather.

Not all of them are, I'm not.

Do you want to talk about it?

~B

So do i, but no when stumbling home drunk.

Tits or gtfo

Not really, too drunk to type my deranged feelings online.

The rain is especially nice, don't you think?

No thank you.

I'm sorry, I'm depressed as well. Hope you feel better soon OP

~B

Where abouts in UK?
Drinking what?

Fellow britbong here. Drinking rum from Lidl....

Especially when you're in the warm.

Okay, at least i tried.

We can all be depressed together

++ Where you from?

:)

Hertfordshire,

Drinking fosters.. Of all drinks..

Nice, how much?

Did you vote for Brexit?
Enjoying your Snooper's Charter?

Yes, rain is lovely in all temperatures.

Respect

I guess, the therapy and Prozac combo isn't helping anything.

I am from Lle De France, but now I am in america tending to my family's needs. :)

~B

I didn't, i'm not really interested in voting. The country's going to shit anyways without my help.

I'm enjoying it plentiful

Especially when it's warm and it's refreshing. Kinda.

Taken gratefully,

It doesn't help with booze no.

That's fair enough, i lived in France for a few years but now back in the cold, wet and depressing island.

m8 get some real ale

OP here. enjoying the poison nectar.

I would, never really tried it. Any suggestions?

Is that a stock photo on your wall?

hertfordshire? ware bro here

Nope, it's my uncle and his kids.. I live here.. Because i can't afford my own place.

Near Aylesbury, Hemel Hempstead?

Cheer up, this always makes me giggle. Maybe it will help you.

Appreciate the lol

yeah i know it, my gf lives in st albans

awwe shit son
just go down to your local ale house or pub preferably campaign for real ales pub really just anything that's not grene king and try some of the wheat ales or bitters depends on your tastes brov but i'm sure the bartender will direct you to the good stuff

That's not bad, What brings you to /B this late?

You're welcome, I think I may have made a mistake. I am not feeling so good.

Pleaee feel better soon user

Take care

~B

Good idea dude, I've got an alehouse down the road that does tasting's so it's time to head down there for an interesting night :P

How have you made a mistake?

was only £10 for 70cl so can't complain. It tastes ok.

Fosters... come on man.

Have you ever had Adnams beers? Or is it confined to my area? Pic related is GOAT beer.

What are you doing drinking at this time, user?

that's exactly what i'd be doing if i was still in britan that shit's amazing

Oy mate, blimey turtlesham on the toffyknocker! I'm out me knickers for some brimbram, lorry loo

OP:
Not too bad then i guess.

Sorry dude, it's cheap down my local offy.

I've heard of Adnams but never tried it. Is Ghost Ship one of there "concotions" :P

I'm drinking because my friends left me and i'm still wide awake.

How does it feel to be an autistic sub-human ?

I just hate feeling like this i hate knowing he's with someone else knowinf I'm not good enough I try so hard
I cant fucking do it

I won't do it
~B

Quite cheap aswell, unlimited alcohol just to "taste" shit

Do you work for the queen?

It feels marvelous.

ask a not drunk british girl some shit

Well to be honest with, we're all better off single. Too much fucking drama trying to appeal to the opposite sex when you can get all you need in one drunk night out/

Sure as the O-train quaffles on the brickbrack telly!

Why aren't you drunk. You're british ffs

Former UK resident here. Glad I left that shit country. Honestly, was the best decision I've made.

Did they pass you based on that response? Because fuck me. Fuck a doodle do, you be working for MI6

OP: Where abouts are you now?

The only alcohol i've got in my flat is 2 cans of budweiser that's been in there for over a year and a half now, i don't know if it's even safe to drink anymore
i kinda fancy some peach schnappes though

Youre right

One last question for you

Should I live stream it?

B

Neck them both within a minute. Give it 15 mins and you'll be buzzing :P

Live stream what? You getting off with some guy after a drunken night out?

Fuck it that'll be fucking funny.

It might be but jesus man, pick a better Lager. Stella? Kronenburgh (sp)?

Yeah Adnams has become pretty popular, they've made loads of different "flavours", Ghost Ship is so fucking good. Please sample it.

How/Why did your friends leave you? At your house?

Pic is the best Pokemon, just to make sure you know.

usually pints are only 1 to 3 pounds not expencive 5 to 12 will get you really drunk

I get tipsy off of one pint, i'm super light weight. Think i'd probably throw up just drinking half this crap though

I've gotten used to the taste of Fosters. Shoot me now by all means.

I might as well to be honest..

I picked them up late from a pub and they were all too wasted to carry on, apart from one guy who let me have a 6 pack at his.

Can't argue with Cloyster my man. Although Cubone is pretty damn sick.

++ Any suggestions for a lager drinker to move on to Ale, something that isn't "too" different?

Jesus, beer is expensive in bongland. I'm from Wisconsin. My go-to is Miller High Life, which I get in 30-packs that run around $18. That's 10.54 L of beer for £14.50.

Precisely, you can try loads of different stuff aswell

Ah really? I'm 8 cans in and still feeling alright (y)

Oy pissed the fishwife up the applestairs

>bongland xD

I've had Miller's over here, but it's rare to find

Excuse me, it's 10.65 L.

wish i could get some shit is cash

I hope you wore a coddlewocker, don't won't to be getting that tallywacker up the wiffwaff

Stop occupying my country

-Ireland

get ya dick out then bongo.

That's still a good price tbh

Are all Brits male? Every brit I've met online is a bloke. If so, should I put some Anime eyes on one to turn him female?

It's too small. My webcam can't focus enough..

No, Dara O'Brian would have a different outlook

eh fuck it might as well, im bored and lonely. How come youre up so late

That could work, or maybe just ignore the idea on getting a british bloke. All we want is tits and beer.

If we can see the picture of your gay dads in the background we can see your little todger.

Just bored mate, same as you. What you watching?

I'll refer you to:
youtu.be/7WlwumGkSec

I suppose Fosters is the better of the bad bunch, where I rank Carling, Carlsburg and Fosters the same. Still not good, man. Stella is my lagar.

So, your friends are too pussy to carry on? Is that why they left?

Cubone has that unique thing, but come on, he is shit :P Cloyster and Gengar are the boiz

Honestly, Ghost Ship is worth trying for the switch. It is described as a "pale Ale". It is light and has fizz.

We could, but could you wank it through tweezers?

Is that the captain cook rum? 40% for under a tenner is good...drinking bells and irn bru

Oh hell no I don't want him or any of you fucking faggots. He hits me with chairs anyway. Im just wondering if ya'll are all really just gruff hairy men who hate life.

only one way to find out..

American pie! I haven't seen it in years

tits and beer you say?

That's understandable. Stella is the wife beater in my eyes :P

Yeah precisely, I usually chill at my mates house and have a 20 crate but he's too moronic to continue.

>Cubone has that unique thing,
Hence why i like him haha.

I'll buy some tomorrow haha :P

the answer is yes

Chortle chortle, i fancied her sniffbeater too often to see if i gammed up her greaser, if you knit my quimble!

can confirm
>is a British bloke

Nice btw

We all hate life, but we're not all gruffy hairy men.

Inb4 2016 UK stereotype

Very true, not drunk enough

if you had to deal with anime eyes being put on you by a 5'1" midget 19 year old faggot (Me fyi), would you hit them with chairs?

OP here:

See that's how it's done faggots ;)

That's the current UK stereotype?
good to know I'm living up to someone's standard

drink up faggot

"someones' standard" xD

Getting too drunk too tipe

im only half a can down and im already starting to feel sick. Im 5ft 10 it should be a crime that im a light weight

dunno how youve managed 8

can confirm life sucks, especially with may as pm, though im not a gruff hairy man