Sup Forums's my best friend wants to and will beat the shit out of me. Any advice to help me not be murdered?

Sup Forums's my best friend wants to and will beat the shit out of me. Any advice to help me not be murdered?

What's the reason behind your inevitable ass-beating?

What'd you do, faggot?

He was being egotistical and I tried to take him down a peg.

shut up naruto

Just don't shit for a while and then let him beat you up.
Once he starts beating you, immediately start squeezing out the turd and when he's realised he's beaten the shit out of you he'll leave you alone.
The faster you squeeze it out, the less facial reconstruction you will need.

murder him first

Steal a car, put on a mask, and run him over with it.

>run him over with a fucking mask
Bravo you're officially retarded

I really shouldn't come to Sup Forums for help

Thanks for noticing.

Can you name 3 things more humiliating than being run over by a mask?

you dont say

>Gun
>Police
>Other friends
>Sneak attack
>Melee weapon
>Self-defense class
>Body guard
>Avoid him
>Do not go to school/work/place you see him regularly for a few days, call in sick with ebola or some shit.
>Try to work things out, gift/favour/apologise
>Move

At least try one OP.

if its really your best friend and you screwed it bad, consider let him beat the crap out of you , you ´ll pay you dues my dude.

>avoid him
>other friend
>body guard
>dont go to school/work
wath are you,fucking gay?

1) Being your mom
2) Being your dad
3) Being you

Only if its a Trump mask that is pretty much honorable.

Oh, I forgot to mention, DO NOT take the mask off. It would be EXTREMELY painful

you're a big guy.

...