>be 19 year old virgin
>have shit life anyway but being a virgin makes it even shitter
>resort to using a dating site
>thisismylastresort.jpeg
>get a few conversations and eventually get a date
>she does agree but she says she's busy and she'll message me back when she's free
>wait months like an autist
>give up on her with disbelief that this happened but keep trying anyway
>three years have passed and I'm still unsuccessful
>the same thing where a date is agreed but nothing happens happened twice more, the second time she was talking with me for months
>decide to message one more girl and if that doesn't work I give up
>the next day she has actually replied
>get talking
>we have so much in common and she really seems to like me, even laughed at a shit joke I made
>thisisit.png
>same thing happens again
>log on to dating site one more time
>11/10 qtπ has shown interest in me
>needed to search her name on facebook to make sure she was legit
>sheexists.gif
>she loves animals and we start talking about animals she seems really into it
>I then tell her that lobsters and horseshoe crabs have blue blood
>no response
>I wait a few days
>still no response
>message her again and she didn't even read my message
>I figured she must have searched it and found pic related, then with her simple female brain must have come to the conclusion that I am part of this
enough.jpeg
Inveniam viam.png
>decide I'm going to catfish her then when we meet in person I explain to her that it was all just a misunderstanding
>"but user, she's just a girl you met on a dating site."
>Exactly. The fact I'm even fucking up on dating sites is why I've had enough
>I need pictures of attractive males, preferably from facebook and preferably with multiple images of the same guy so I can create a fake account
Do this and if the date goes shit I'll post another greentext story about it so you can all laugh at me
Be 19 year old virgin
Other urls found in this thread:
youtube.com
youtube.com
twitter.com
Ones like this
go on
bump
The catfishing hasn't happend yet. I need pictures for that.
I'm moderately attractive...you can use me. Hell, I'll even tell you what to say and talk about and send you whatever pics you need. Shit op, I'll even meet her for you and full her too.
Just let me know
And fuck her too*
Apart from the cucking part okay. Post pictures of yourself. Thanks user.
Ones like this OP
Bump
This will also be an opportunity to get back at your local chad
> then with her simple female brain
gee i wonder why you're having trouble with women
...
I'm not usually sexist. It's only after all this that I have started saying shit like this.
WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN THAT PICTURE
You know the majority of girls use dating sites solely to boost their self-esteem, right? If she's young and attractive there is no reason for her to seek out male attention online as it would be heaped on her by every guy she knows irl.
how about this OP?
Post pictures of an attractive male facebook friend to aid me then I'll tell you.
True. But she is a bit on the chubby side, she doesn't show it on her profile but when I searched her facebook to make sure she's legit I found her to be on the thicc side so I'm not sure how confident she is with finding a guy irl.
NO LIKE SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK AM I LOOKING AT
see
NO, YOU FIRST!
Again, you don't understand. So long as a girl is still relatively young and pretty she will get mountains of attention from boys. Even chubby girls because guys assume they're easy. To add on to what I said before; these girls are not obligated to follow through with dates or even ever message you again. Don't go full Elliot just because girls can be fickle.
LOOL WTF MATE, shell be even more freaked out about u catfishing just to explain why u mentioned lobsters have blue blood wtf
fine,
hers what you do, go to photobucket, click browse- recently added.
click through the pages of recently added until you find a suitable shmuck and follow that picture to a more than likely unsecured album of his bitch ass.
ive done this with two people to create realistic facebook for incognito research.
youre welcome
Thanks user. They're farming horseshoe crab blood. Horseshoe crab blood has many healing properties. Also it's blue.
Calm down, I'm not going to hurt anyone. This time it happened because of a really stupid reason and I've just had enough.
That's not why she stopped talking to me. It's because she thinks I hurt lobsters. I have nothing to lose by trying.
you are really stupid its not the blue blood thing aye its you.
here
She barely gave me a chance but the messages she sent before that she was really into it; laughing at nothing funny, putting several exclamation marks, shit like that.
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.
also, no problem.
also also, other than for the satisfaction of seeing if you can actually pull it off, my opinion is that its just not worth it for a shallow vapid not good for anything but a flesh light girl.
out.
Shit OP this is sad... You can use a pic of me
why cant u just message her and explain ?
also why would she think u hurt lobsters anyways, just because u said they have blue blood ?
she probably stopped talking becuase its a autistic thing to to mention and argue about.
What if u got catfished ureself, thinking ure meeting a hot girl and it turns out to be this landwhale u ignored trying to explain why she holds a sandwich in her picture
Another one
Wait... that's a trap?
Dude, some girls are like that, having chit chat, looking like they're having fun & all, but in reality, they're :
1) polite w you, responding with laugh emotes when you make a joke even if it's not that funny to them, or even show some interest in you because you show interest in them
2) attention whore, they just want ppl to get interested in them, they could do anything for that. Tho, they're not interested in more than that
3) emotional rollercoaster, they felt good talking to you, and then, because their buttered toast fell on the wrong way they're pissed for days, they won't think about that random guy they were talking with because "I don't care, i'm done, just leave me alone", etc.
And many many other reasons. Tho, thinking that you're exploiting the blue blood of lobsters to make healthy juices ain't one of them.
jesus christ give us more green text im fucking on the edge of my toilet here
Everyone would be freaked out by finding out someone they where talking to turned out to be someone else pretending to be that person
Thanks man, I know but if she'll be shallow so will I. She has a very rare and exotic feature about her and it's reach a point where I only want to take back from the bs of life now.
Thanks man. Feel free to disagree with me on this but at first I thought it would be sad but then I thought why is this sad? Because an artificial societal standard doesn't approve? I think it's only fair that I'm taking it a bit further than usual to get back at the bullshit life is giving me. And I know others have it worse but I just decided that's not going to stop me putting my foot down.
Ok i fr lold at that
Hey OP, i've got a good foolproof b8 for you, here goes:
>get into catfish mode
>get some pic of some random "good looking dude"
>get at her on your dating site
>on fake acc obv
>talk about how you love animals and shit
>get the conversation going about animals
>modulate the conversation to strange/odd/surprising facts about animals
>throw in the lobster and horseshoe crab blue blood thing
>???
>profit
That's how you'll find out if you went full spaghettit or if she really is zealous about harms done to animals
Then get fucked in the ass
Thats the right way to look at it man. You cant let life's bs get in the way. Gotta buck up and fuck her right in the pussy
>autistic thing to talk about
She asked for "cool facts" on her tagline. Why would she ask for something autistic then complain that she's getting something autisitc?
>why cant u just message her and explain ?
You don't think I already tried that. This is my final resort. It took years of the same bullshit for this to happen. My lecturer even catfished me once but I'll save that for another time.
She messaged me first. That's rare for girls to message first.
She might figure out I'm me then.
Also thanks user. I'm glad someone else gets it.
Holy fucking betafaggot that you are
You want to get revenge at life just because you can't have what you want? I don't think you're old enough to be posting on this site and i just heard your mom tell you to brush your teeth then peepee nightnight
Don't make me come out the covers to beat your ass down, i'm on the verge of going on round 2 with the lady
Ps: your mom's fine af in bed
your eyes are really far apart and you have a pedo tash
KEK
I agree with both
>She might figure out I'm me then.
Yeah but how about getting fucked in the ass then? Atleast you get a consolation prize
>you're acting underage
>le ur mom jokes XD
I found the underagefag. Don't you have school tomorrow?
Nope but i do have to get up at 5 to go to work
Thanks for your concern tho
I just realized the thing with my eyes. Im happy with the spacing of my eyes but i guess its much more apparent in that picture. I like the thing with the stache and goatee. Or whatever tf that thing is
yeah she will freak out, move on men plenty more lobsters in the sea
If you think that what you're doing is a good idea then you have much bigger issues than not getting laid. You won't even be able to catfish properly because you'll be fixated on getting revenge. That shit will find it's way into your messages and then they'll stop talking to you just like before.
user, it's normal that with the little experience of women you had, you're overthinking some actions girls can do to you. I was exactly like you, 19 kissless virgin, overthinking about shits like "she messaged me first", "she said xD at my joke", "she said good night :*"
=> it must mean she's interested in me !
But all of this is bs, most of the time, girls don't think twice about shits they write, they "feel" like writing it that way at one particular moment, they don't rationally think of the consequences of an emote, a word, a reaction, etc.
Tho, thoses feelings can vary so much based on their day, their actual mood, what they ate for lunch, etc.
Tl;dr : Don't translate something a girl do into something a girl think about you, 90% of the time you will be disappointed.
Why waste your time with that?
You're just fuck it up anyway
..You're a spaz
Go ahead and waste more of your time tho idgaf
Is that like a career day at school where you talk about how you want to be an astronaut?
That's the same thing I have been trying for years.
Maybe so. But what do I lose from trying? Her friends several cities away who I'm never going to meet think I'm a weirdo? Also I'm 21 now and still a virgin I have to try something.
If you don't give a fuck then why are you telling me this. Go ahead and waste more of your time.
dont forget to grab them by the pussy
THIS
>She might figure out I'm me then.
No, if you play it subtle
Yeah dont take what they say seriously girls bullshit a lot. And they love puppies
I probably shouldnt post pics on Sup Forums i might become a meme one day
Dude lol just stop you're not even remotely good looking enough for someone to catfish with. You are the definition of average. It's just embarrassing at this point.
You're right to try something, there is nothing wrong in it, you'll get some experience from that, it's all gud. I just don't want you to feel like she was in your pocket at one point & feel terrible once you found out that she wasn't interested in you at all (if that happen to be the case).
Go & do your thing. Just remember that the worst thing you can try to do, is to think you know what's happening in their mind. A girl can sound rly interested when she's not, and rly uninterested when she is, and we, self conscious men, we usually wrongly translate what they do, what they say into what they think.
I'm not speaking to you about that particular girl. Having what I said to you in mind could be useful to you one day, as it is to me atm.
Its always the internet people who say shit like that -.-
OP here. It's better than not posting pictures at all.
Wouldn't it too fking obvious to catfish with a topmodel ? geez user, he's looking good enough, more than that and they could feel the bait
I've seen some shit in my time, but this is the fucking stuff of nightmares, Christ.
because we don't have to be polite to spare peoples feelings online
Go do literally anything else with your time. Fuck a hooker instead of this school-shooter tier stuff.
Not saying he should use a top model. Being good looking is only half of catfishing anyways. You need to be charming enough to get them to meet up with you, and if OP could do that he wouldn't be here writing his manifesto.
LOL OP reminds me of
youtube.com
doo eeeit
Thanks for the advice user
Maybe we should make this a faces of b thread and see who should be the catfish thing or whatever this is
Just go cry in corner
>Go do literally anything else with your time. Fuck a hooker instead of this school-shooter tier stuff.
Then why are you doing this with your time? Also women have unbelievably high standards these days. They expect to have Robert Downey Jr. Then wonder why they're on a dating site as long as I have been.
>brags about being working adult on Sup Forums
good idea
All I'm trying to do is to stop OP from doing something really stupid to get very petty revenge on a stranger from the internet. I mean, if this is the kind of person he is maybe there is a good reason people stopped messaging back.
Dont mind the fuckboy. But what are you really doing? Are you trying to prank girls on dating sites?
I'm doing this because I have the night off and I'm bored. I know it's hard to believe but they're actually people with different individual tastes. You can't assume that because they're on a dating site that they're desperate losers.
He's trying to catfish a specific girl from a dating site because she stopped messaging him back.
If you already messaged her with an explanation and she didn't reply then she's not interested dude. You're going to make yourself look like a psycho by catfishing her man. You have a better chance with her if you do nothing.
here is my pic man go crazy
Looks like a pretty cool dude. Just need some hot shades and a photo shop lambo and op might get it
>very petty revenge on a stranger from the internet
Are you autistic. I already said this is to get even with "life". This goes back way further than some random bitch on the internet. All my life, life had been giving me shit and not just with be being a 21 year old virgin. This is just me taking a stance against the bullshit of life, the devil, god or whatever you want to call it.
>spending your night off whiteknighting some girl you've never even seen
Wow, I envy you man.
She didn't even open my message with the explanation. It's as if the lobster message ended it for her.
Well maybe we should just talk about bullshit in life
is this some kind of fuckin elaborate ruse?
You're not really fucking like this are you?
Yeah but, what if she doesn't date indian guy ?
I think everyones just being critical cause youre all angry about your lives. Anybody wanna let some stuff go?
wait the op says 19 year old version now you're 21?
fuck nice bait
Dude lmao life shits on absolutely everyone indiscriminately and it's going to shit on all of us for the rest of our lives. That's what life is. I'm not whiteknighting anyone, I'm trying to help you get a grip on reality.
OP (me) also said three years later (including the year I was 19)
Actually yes. I've started showing early symptoms of schizophrenia and chances are I'll lose my mind completely within a year. There are much worse things in life than getting ignored by a girl online.
Like I said before, I know many others even have it far worse. But why should that not be a reason to try what you can to improve your life? Isn't limiting yourself because others have it worse SJW mentality?
Well i just had a falling out with my girl. Im talking to another one now but it just sucks cause i really liked her and i think i broke her heart. I feel like an asshole
Do you actually think you're good looking?
You're either a really good troll or autistic as fuck. Maybe both.
yikes. you know your mom has no choice but to say you're handsome. ignorance is bliss i guess but damn if it makes people like you confident enough to post pics of themselves.
>le you are le have autism meme
back your points up or no one is going to take you seriously.
Sounds like you'd make a good sidekick for "the catfish man".
Google the name, he came here once and told quite a few of his catfish stories, amusing stuff.
top kek
OP post a pic of yourself. I wanna know what you look like
i could have still scored even after saying something so dumb as the lobster line so OP is leaving out something really excruciating he said. i want to know what it was.
any time a woman ignores you in this context you've either fucked up or she's fucking someone else. either way you move on.
Damn yall some self hating people
Thanks man..but i feel you are being sarcastic
Are you saying im not a good catch without money? im not good looking enough?
I think you look good bro