Be me

>Be me
>Britbong
>About 15 minutes ago
>Chilling in living room watching That 70s Show on Netflix
>Get up to go and make sandwich
>Open kitchen door and see fully naked friend fucking a jar of Hellmann's mayonnaise
>Stare with absolute disgust
>He looks me dead in the eye and stops fucking the mayo
>Tell him I'm calling his girlfriend
>Run upstairs and and lock my bedroom door
>He's still banging on the door
What do?

send him a pic of you eating mayonnaise

rip OP always was a bit of a faggot

And the first thing when you went into your room, was to come on Sup Forums and post a thread about it?

Question your life. You are making up terrible stories on a shitty image board.

kys

also, who is that pissed or high at 8:30pm?

>call his gf
>they break up in your house
>comfort her and steal her for yourself

Why would you call his gf you douche?

it's the normal human reaction

why have gf when you can have qt3.14 mayonnaise jar

How does he place a phone call to himself?

>2/10
Put some effort faggot

he just phones his own phone number m8

Yeah but you're obviously a nigger. Only niggers seem to think white people have a fascination with mayonnaise

This

i killed myself because of this thread

Degenerates mostly
Also
>implying you need to be high to blow your load in hellmans

stupid thread, but I'll take the bait

you're a shitty friend
what an adult & a jar of mayonnaise do is their own business

you're just mad that you didn't think of it first
OR DID YOU?!?!?
are you jealous?
is that jar of mayonnaise cheating on you with him?

Kindly die in a fire

>sage

/thread

/thread

>watching shitty American television
There's your problem right there mate

>>>tfw you cant bluetext

>yfw he fucked your gender

Question: Does said friend live in your house? Because if he dosen't your story just went up a few levels.

>Be me
>Britbong
>About 10 minutes ago
>Chilling in kitchen fucking a jar of Hellmann's mayonnaise
>Get to climax stage
>Kitchen door opens and see friend wtaching me fuck a jar of Hellmann's mayonnaise
>Stare with absolute pleasure
>I look him dead in the eye and stop fucking the mayo
>He tells me he's calling my girlfriend
>He runs upstairs and locks his bedroom door
>Been banging on the door for 5 minutes
What do?