>Have to renew my license to keep ubering >need a doctor's note to certify im fit to drive >go to doctor's practice, doctor is a 9/10 qt >doctor performs the test, she asks me what I study, I tell her I study medicine as well >She fucks up and puts in the report that im not fit to drive (by mistake) and to correct it she needs to wait 15 minutes >She starts doing small talk for these 15 minutes >Really wanna ask for her number but dont wanna sound like a creep >Constantly think about the sas motto WHO DARES WINS, like an autistic retard >She asks for my number like 5 times (to set it on the record) >Really wanna take my chance here >Dont do it, just laugh at myself like a retard >"Ok user...test is done, sorry for the trouble and goodbye!" >"g-goodbye doc, b-b-by the way... >"Oh? yes user?" >"N-nothing doc, keep up the good work, just relax, goodbye!"
>be at a party for like the first time >see some qts but too beta to talk to them >chad friend brings them over and tells one id like to meet her >she smiles and we start dancing >never fucking danced in my life but im enjoying it >social anxiety is finally gone >me and my friend had this inside meme about how horrible Shepard's dance was in mass effect >we basically repeat that scene from ME2 where he has to dance at omega to impress some target >go full autismos and think it will be a good idea >suddenly say in shepard's voice >LET ME SHOW YOU MY MOVES >start dancing like a retard >girl is visibly confused, not in a good way >crank it up to 11 and shout "AND THIS IS THE SPECIAL SHAAAADOW STEP" >make a beyond retarded move >girl has now stopped dancing and is completely silent >she barely talks anymore >doesnt give me her number at the end and just walks off
Well fuck
Brayden Green
start drinking or taking pills
Austin Rivera
>be me >pretty autistic but somehow manage to enter a theater group at college >we have a play. I performed well >at the end, see the english literature teacher near the crowd in the "after party" >gonna tell her as a joke "that counted as my oral exam right?" >autistic short circuit happens and I say super loud >THAT COUNTS AS MY ORAL SEX, RIGHT? >Teacher is visibly shocked >I didnt returned to her class and never took it again
Austin Hernandez
>*takes another swig
Hunter James
>be me >lose everyone i love >go to therapy realize i'm shit at communication >realize a healthy life is so much easier than i thought >rebuild life >be me
Ethan Martinez
This is one of my biggest social fears to be honest
>talkin with a female friend in college >random small talk >she asks if I think she should cheat on the next exam >gonna reply "no! You wanna get fucked over?" >have a lapsus because she is pretty hot and say "no! Wanna fuck?"instead >Spoiler it was the last day we spoke
>Once I set a webcam up in my room to tape this foreign exchange student I had coming over. So I email the site I set-up to broadcast this to my friend so that a couple of us can watch >it on his computer. Well She comes over and I leave her in my room and run over to my friend's house and we start watching. She starts going through my stuff and finds a mag and starts >to get off. Now my friends encourage me to go back home because she wants me. I nervously agree. I get back home and go in my room. Long story short she makes me dance like a fool in >front of her first while stripping. (Pretty embarrassing, but whatever, she liked it) Now I know a couple of my friends are watching so I try to throw my clothes to cover the cam up. >It kinda works for a bit. Well now she is really excited and invites me to sit down beside her. So I'm sitting beside her nervous as a motherfucker and she grabs my hand and slides it >down her thigh. Then I couldn't help it, I jizzed. She got up to leave but I convinced her to stay. Again she grabs my hand and puts it on her. Goddammit are you kidding me? I came >again. Now I get to school the next day to find out that not only did I just blow my only chance with the sexiest foreign exchange student ever, but I also accidentally sent that >webcam link; TO THE WHOLE FUCKING SCHOOL!
>TLDR - Sent a webcam link of me jizzing in my pants twice in a minute; thus dissatisfying the hottest foreign exchange student ever, to my whole school!
Christopher Ross
I'm not reading this horribly made greentext but i'm pretty sure from the first sentence thats the premise of american pie
Sebastian Baker
Correct
Kayden Martin
i'm with you dude i'm not reading that shit either
Jace Cox
no, the premise to American pie is the unique paths 4 guys in high school take while trying to lose their virginity before graduation. this was just one scene.
Landon Bennett
i read it and you faggots couldn't stop me
Lucas Lee
Maybe not spaghetti as a whole. But I have the tendency to lie about my life because its pretty boring and im an underachiever. So I make shit up like im actually a chemist or a mechanic and shit. I dont usually do it with people I know i'll get very acquainted to but one time i did it with a girl who I thought I was only gonna see once and we actually became good friends. But it all changed when she realized I was lying about everything.
Dont lie anons
Landon Hughes
Man, movies sound so deep when you describe them by their premises
So what? Just be yourself and have fun. Who gives a shit what bitches think. Sounds like she was a stuck up, humorless prig anyway.
Carter Bennett
>Hey user you shouldn't worry about how your autism kept you from getting some tail that night!
Cooper Collins
Wtf. Doctors never take down your number, I don't care what practice you're going to.
Maybe a nurse or medical tech, never the doctor.
Christopher Wood
They literally have to take your number along with your email to write it down on your record and send the confirmation back to you.
Isaac Torres
>few years ago >uni student (science) >having lunch in food court area >sitting alone at a table, but most tables are barren, only maybe 10 people around the whole place >just as I finish, pack up my things and stand up and begin to walk away a hot af 9/10 grill sits down and asks "hey, how's it going?" >she could have sat at any of the 100s of empty seats but chose to sit directly next to me >i thought it too awkward to acknowledge her because i am already leaving >ignore her >"Hey? .. Hello? Where are you going?" >too awkward. keep walking. >she never speaks to me again
Jonathan Morgan
Shit movie, shit post
Matthew Young
Wow youre autistic and retarded
Noah King
lol wtf is with the SAS who dares wins m8?
Jonathan Nelson
Ehh it should be pretty obvious.
"Who dares wins", also translated to "if you're brave you're gonna take a prize" in that situation "be brave and ask for her number, you're not gonna see her again anyway, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain"
>tfw I've been thinking about getting a tattoo with the phrase but I don't wanna look like a stolen valor faggot
Oliver Long
never knew that was what it meant tbh, thanks for the information OP.
James Butler
It's pretty much the same as "fortune favors the bold".
"Those who are brave/daring obtain victory".
If OP had followed through with it, 2 things could have happened:
She would have rejected and thats it, op walks out, his life goes on, her life goes on, the thing will be forgotten in 1 week tops
OR
She would have accepted, given op her number, and op might have scored some tail.
I personally believe the later would have happened because most girls absolutely adore that "daring bad boy" attitude.
Austin Parker
But what if you want the girl who doesnt adore the bad boy attitude?
Aiden Walker
Bad boy was just a silly word. Girls in general like secure, confident guys. Being able to ask for a girl's number with confidence is a pretty big plus for most of them.
