Be me

>be me
>19 living on my own
>working at burger king
>saving up for college
>life isnt half bad
>plan to move out to college in 3 months
>decide to prank next owners
>stop flushing
>shit just builds up in toilet
>go to work
>boring day kms.jpg
>all of the sudden a hot 8/10 qt starts working the next shift
>mfw
>go home and shit into pile
>2 weeks go by
>toilet has a big patty of shit
>flies start chillin in my bathroom
>fuck

>too late to turn back
>go to work next day and flirt with qt
>a week passes
>still flirting
>whole house smells like doo doo
>finally ask her out and she says yes
>we go out for dinner at long horns
>I had a really good steak and we got to know eachother
>really like her

Keep it going

>go back home
>take fat shit and add to pile
>2 weeks go by
>still dating
>we are going steady but she hasnt been to my house and we havent had sex
>we go to a scary movie
>it was rlly bad but she wanted to come back to my place
>shitnigger.jpg
>tell her its under construction or some shit
>she believes it
>we go back to her place and have intercourse
>go home and add to pile

>a month goes by
>still hasnt been to my house
>toilet is now almost half way filled eith pure dookie
>mfw whole house smells like shit
>flies are all over my house
>i have to get a whole bunch of febreeze and cologne to mask shit stank
>me and qt continue to go on dates
>she still wants to come to my house
>shit
>tell her plumbing is down and its not a good place to chill
>she agrees
>3 more weeks go by
>toilet 3/4 way full of shit

Keep this shit going

More you beutiful retard

Nigger get rid of that shit. Before this shit happens:
>Tfw I piled shit as a prank, gf comes over looses her shit and leaves me. Wut Do?

>whole house has unbearable stench
>even neighbors start to notice
>oshitnigger.jpg
>bitch neighbor glenda thinks i have a dead body in my house
>it smells that bad
>its summer time
>smell has gotten worse
>have to shower at the gym because house is too filthy
>start getting sick
>still go to work
>fast forward 2 weeks
>still sick
>asked my boss for time off
>ben at home sick for 10 days
>whatever sickness i have makes me vomit and shit a lot
>i think its the flu so dont go to doctor

The fuck is going on

I'm scared

>fast forward another week
>toilet is now filled to the brim with shit
>still sick
>i go to doctor and he says i have salmonella
>mfw
>i get medicine
>i keep going
>start having to beat the shit down into the toilet with a shovel
>neighbors come to my house regularly asking whats up
>mfw glenda sent a police officer to my house
>when he opened up the door he almost threw up
>couldnt search my house because no warrant
>theyreontome.jpg
>another 3 days passes
>missed so much work i get fired
>cunt
>havent had a paycheck in 2 weeks because boss is a nigger
>cant pay rent
>about to get evicted lmao

This is honestly gone be an entertaining thread to say the least

I feel so sorry for the landlord.

Burn the house down op

>girlfriend is calling me constantly
>told her im very sick and not to come over
>a week later still havent been kicked out of house
>my sickness has gotten worse
>skin is pale
>vomiting
>shitting
>imdying.jpg
>keep piling up shit
>havent made it this far for nothing
>mfw knock at door
>COPS
>I open door and its not cops
>its my gf
>shit

>tldr; how OP fucked his life up for an epic joke that no made no sense

uh oh.

>because boss is a nigger

lol what? he's not the one who can't flush like a fucking normal person lmao

>quickly douse myself in cologne
>can hear knocking still
>user it's me I want to talk
>shit she saw me
>knew I'd have to face it some time or another
>take a deep breath and instantly regret it as shit fills my lungs
>open the door
>get on the floor
>everybody walk the dinosaur

awwww cmon

DAMMIT OP

fucking fuck you fucking fuckpuppet

>she almost threw up
>doesnt say anything just runs to her car and drives away
>single.jpg
>fast forward a whole 2 weeks
>i dont think i have salmonella anymore, i think this is a different sickness
>im not dead
>victory.jpg
>i hear knock at door
>its landlord
>he immediately almost passes out and calls the cops
>shitnigger
>mfw cops come and they think I have a dead body
>walk into bathroom and see horror
>filled with a million flies
>shovel in corner
>toiler nearly broken from massive mound of shit
>mfw arrested for destruction of property

End

well that was anticlimactic

Was it worth it?

For future reference, landlords usually get their property cleaned before letting it to new tenants.

Prefer the dinosaur ending

I think you might be actually retarded.

I would probably have filled it in maximum 1 month

forreal, if anything he's really stupid and pranked himself hard..... or totally fake