Austism Stores:
>Never been to a Subway before
>Decide to bend it like Jared
>Go to the counter and order the meatball sub
>They ask what bread I'd like with it
>Start sweating
>Tell them original
>They don't know what I mean
>Keep repeating "original bread" over and over
>They just grab a loaf and ask if I want six inches
>Get flustered but try to reign in my anxiety
>"Heh heh nah I'm seven and a half so lets to that"
>The silence killed me
>See they have guacamole
>Tell them I want guacamole on it too
>They say they don't have guacamole
>Think they're just messing with me
>Sweat harder
>Tell them I think they do
>They tell me they don't make guacamole but they could put avocado on it if I prefer
>Scoff at them and say sure
>Tells me it'll be an upcharge
>Scoff again and tell them to load it up then
>Finally reach the till
>They ring me up and ask for the total
>I hand them my card
>They swipe it
>Then swipe it again
>Once more
>My card was declined all three times
>Stutter out an apology and hand them my other card
>This one is bent and cracking due to leaving it in the wash
>They look at it and shake their heads
>Swipe
>Swipe it a few more times
>Keeps getting an error
>Inform me that payment isn't going through
>By this point three people behind me are waiting to pay
>Tell them to give me my card back and I'll do it myself
>They hand it to me
>Swipe
>Swipe once more
>It works
>Laugh and say it just needed a bit of love
>Bob head when saying this
>They straight-face tell me to have a nice day
>By this point visible pit-stains and a damp spot on belly
>Walk out and eat in car
>Employees capable of seeing me from counter
>Catch them glancing over every now and then
>The sub wasn't that good either
Austism Stores:
Fuck that really happened?
Get
Cool pasta bro
...
Fag
>be not autistic
>go to subway and order a steak & cheese like 99% of people do at subway
>act kind and smile when they ask something
>say thanks and start eating my sandwich at a nearby table
>leave
Yep, just kill me
Pasta? It's Subway!
>goes into subway twice a week
>buy 6-9 cookies everytime
>don't even bother with their shit sandwiches anymore
>it feels so good
As someone who also struggles with anxiety, I feel for you OP. But why didn't you move your car so you weren't being watched as you ate?
I once misspoke and asked for a six foot.
Sandwich maker girl laughed at me.
It must suck to be a fucking sweaty nerd who likes guacamole on meatball sub
>A 6 foot sandwich
Top Kek. Btw if you were ugly and fat and a loser, she would most likely have laughed at you, so guess you're ok.
Kek
Are you sure you're not just tarded?
I'm not a nerd though. I actuall go to the gym and go out drinking with the dudes.
I spent the [past half an hour making 151 unique ylyl bananas.
Doesn't change the fact you're a sweaty nerd.
Good lord OP you're the reason you can pre-order taco bell on the phone you gargantuan faggot
problem is that you people think way to much. visit a doc/psychologist
fuckin gold OP got a kek out of me
as a former Sandwich Artist, OP you are a fag and the kind of customer I always despised. Just tell me what the fuck you want. The list of bread is right in front of your fucking face on the glass where you start ordering. The meat and veggie options are all right there in front of you, and all the prices are on the goddam menu. It's not hard.
...
>goes out drinking with the dudes
>cant order a sandwich
do your butt buddies order for you?
how about you get a real job and stop complaining you faggot
So you're the comic relief in that group then?
And by that I mean they're all laughing at you.
rubbing your mom's feet for your pocket money is not a real job dude
>be normal
>Got at local fast food joint
>They're having wood loaded in storage under the oven so I can't have my pizza until the delivery guys are done with it
>chit chat with the owner
>the guys finish with the wood
>tell the pizza guy what pizza I want
>sit down
>browse phone while waiting
>get pizza
>eat
>pay, wave everyone goodbye and leave
Jesus christ OP it's not so hard.
Neither it's making sandwiches
Would a nerd get laid every 2weeks on average?
assuming its with another fat sweaty nerd, yes
Yes but the way you guys look at me and the queue behind me makes me feel uneasy and nervous.
I order for myself, heck even sometimes girls buy me the drink.
I can one-up that. I ordered 1000 business cards online stating that I'm a mute to give out to cashiers and other salesmen. Life has gotten a whole lot easier that I only have to point to things. Obviously not a mute though.
You're fucking retarded posting this autistic shit and backing up when people call you one.
Uhm no. I'm perhaps the 2nd funniest guy in the group, and there's 5 of us.
>sandwich artist
Talk about autistic.
Guac and avacodo are the same fucking thing. She was just an idiot. Probably why she makes sandwiches instead of working in a STEM field.
Nope, with girls who are at a minumimum 7/10.
>Says the basement dwelling college droupout NEET
That hurt to read user. I'm sorry.
>NEET
just kys
Guac and avocado are not the same thing. Guacs main ingredient is avocado, but that doesn't mean that they are the same thing.
Holy fuck user
True, it's like saying ketchup and tomato is the same thing!
>would an autistic nerd feel the need to prove something about themselves that no one cares about over an anonymous image board
...i'll let you figure this one out on your own...
Fucking sandwich "artist" whose the autist here.
that's not autistic
that's fucking brilliant!
oh shit we have badass over here
>That gif and filename
Fucking kek
I once asked for "soup of the day" at Starbucks. The barista laughed and said "You mean coffee?"
I told the bitch to shut the fuck up and hand me my drink, which I then threw back in her face.
I'm not allowed back in there for some reason.
>be me
>end of the story
it's all yours friend
i suggest you change the filename based on the point you are trying to get across
Your life sounds shit.
yes
...
> be me 17
> walk into Subway with friends
> Have a hankerin for balls of meat
> walk up to sandich wench
> Ask for a football meatlong
> woman says "excuse me?"
> I get louder "I said a football meatlong!"
> everyone is staring and friends are laughing
> cashier looks at me funny
> I correct myself and say "footlong meatball ugh"
> my friends call me Mr. Meatlong to this day
Hey Mr. Meatlong
How's it going Mr. Meatlong
Mr. Meatlong
now so will I for all time mr. meatlong
OP, you are trying way too hard.
Whatever helps you sleep at night mate.
You need to do something about that anxiety mate. I have been there, but havent been so anxious before
> Be me
> Walk into subway
> Be scandinavian fag
> no subway
> end
Bump
> Be me 19
> Go to Toys R Us
> The fear of being stared at makes me walk weird
> Start walking like I'm a 70's pimp
> End up by the bike section
> employee comes up and asks me if I need some help
> Ask if they have any motorized bikes
> They say to check a motorcycle dealership
> I tell them "no i mean the kind that's motorized
> they end up getting the manager
> I ask them again and he says no
> I pimp walk to the toy section
> employees were told not to talk to me as I'm weird
> I pick up a couple of MLP toys and start reenacting an episode of Seinfeld
> security walks up to me and asks me if I'm ok
> Spaghetti starts falling out of my pocket
> I'm sweating gravy at this point
> I ask the guard if he wants to pet my pony in the bathroom
> Security asks me to leave
> I pimp walk away to the game area to look to see if they have any MLP games
> Cops show up at this point and comes up to me
> I tell them that my guardian is outside
> Cop thinks I'm retarded
> I sprint to the door but, not before I trip over a kid
bump
>be you
>don't bother posting next time
The Fuck Is Wrong With You
Made me giggle but you managed it bro.
More stories like these and OP. I fucking love them.
Not ones like these, I want true stories.
>Get toenail clipper. Start cutting off the thick skin on the bottom of my feet in small strips.
>Put the strips in a cup and eat some of them
>Next day at school
>Cute girl at lunch table hanging out with group of friends
>Turn to her and say "Guess what I did last night? I cut off the skin on the bottom of my feet and ate it"
>Later that year somehow find her on AOL instant messenger
>We talk and seem to be getting along
>Then she says "You creep me out I swear you're like staring at me whenever we're at lunch together
>Cannot recover from how awkward that conversation is becoming, end it immediately
Other story
>Be hanging out with girl
>Shes gay
>Hang out with her more
>Get a crush on her
>One day send this dramatic text saying "Oh my god i'm crying so hard I can't believe I have to tell you this"
>"I have a crush on you and I know this will just make things awkward because you're gay"
>Then I get a video of Goku going super saiyan 3 where he yells for 5 minutes
>Link her the video and say "This is the pain in my heart I feel right now"
>She says "Oh my god" and convo gets really awkward from there
>Stop hearing from her for a few days. Get really mad about it
>Send her a text blowing up on her saying FUCK YOU etc etc and I finally say not to call my number again because i'm going to destroy my phone and then I rip my phone up
Kreygasm
>2016
saving your screencaps as jpgs
fucking retard
> girl at school is a fucking weird freak
> thinks I'm her friend
> she hugs me everyday
> Thank god I hang out with jocks and normies
> she gets made fun of everyday
> one day she isn't at school
> hear security was checking lockers the other day
> they find a piece of paper in her locker
> paper had names of everyone who made fun of her
> thank the sherpas I wasn't on her list
> freak got expelled and I don't get mah hugs
point is - Don't make fun of the freaks in school or you'll end up on a list.
>be a real autist
>order my overly detailed sandwich
>always pay with the exact amount of cash needed
The main pro of autism is that you don't understand whether people really mean it when they are saying "good day". So I assume they do.
Kek'd
>using twitch emotes like they're memes
Just use kreygasm as your thumbnail retard
>sandwich wench
This is the kind of poster that Sup Forums needs.
>mfw all three of those posts were me, KEK
topkek
tfw i have no face
>eating in your car outside the store where the employees can see you
THEY'RE LAUGHING AT YOUR ANTISOCIAL ASS HA HA HA
> Be me 14
> Hate gym...gym is for niggers
> Forced to get undressed with a bunch of dudes huddles together sucking eachothers schlong dongs
> DOn't know where to look when undressing
> peek at the dude next to me
> Big nig johnsons everywhere
> mfw I saw my first nigger dick
> mfw i learned I was gay
> mfw I hate nigger dicks
> mfw I sucked his dick
> mfw I walked into a literal porno
> mfw I was really 35 and I was in a pre-school
> mfw I got arrested
I'm too social anxiety to even Subway... I'm frequently asked to speak louder and constantly look around and feel like I'm having a panic attack.
Have done this as well.
→be me
→walk into subway
→buy ticket
→get on train
→get off train at my destination
→leave
>The sub wasn't that good either
Because you put avocado on a meatball ya dingus. Meatball subs, you just get what you like on pizza. Done.
>Guac and avacodo are the same fucking thing
Things white people say. The post.
why isn't this green
Subway worker here.
Don't sweat it user, most people are like that. I'm sure 15 minutes later there was another strange encounter. We see people at their worst
nah, night shift when living in a city is the worst. drunk cunts who think they're funny piss me off
did get sucked off by a girl for a free cookie once, freshmen here are easy
I'm new and don't know how.
Dump please
top kek
[green] fkn newfag [/green]
>Freshmen here are easy
Is that why you've only had your dick sucked just by the one girl? KEK
...
enough subway posting please
> please
> enough subway
There isn't enough subway posting
>go to Publix
>want some of that capicola ham
>walk up and this guy behind the counter immediately greets me and asks if he can help
>taken aback and don't know what's going on
>point to the capicola in the case and ask for a half pound of that
>he goes ahead and asks me "how thick I'd like it"
>wat
>uhh, regular?
>he slices off a piece and gives it to me
>asks if that's a 'good thickness'
>eyeball it and say yes
>trying to hand it back but he tells me no, just to eat it
>he confirms i want a half pound and finishes up and bags it
>tells me to have a great day
>have to remind him I got an extra slice and to add it to the price
>he laughs and says it's on the house
So did he want to fuck me or what? Should I be afraid? I didn't catch his nametag. Maybe I should call next time before I go and make sure he isn't working. I'm not gay or anything.
Man, I had some shitheel ask if we did senior discounts. Said no, he asked a few more questions and I explained it to him. I leave. He wanders around the store muttering about what a smartarse I am, asks for my name and lodges an official complaint. The other customers let the owner know the guy was a dickhead.