Hey Sup Forums, feeling like shit and wanted to let it out. It might be a bit long

hey Sup Forums, feeling like shit and wanted to let it out. It might be a bit long

> my best friend was a girl I knew that lived down the street from me
> our parents went to college/high school together, and remained friends when it was over
> because of this, we'd always go to each other's houses whenever our parents wanted to see each other
> after enough times, we grew close
> I'm a year older than her so whenever we changed schools (elementary, junior, high) there would always be a year where we wouldn't see each other as much. Sucked ass
> but in middle school, we hung out all the time
> at least 3 days a week
> we'd go to each other's houses for the rest of the evening after school and play video games or mess around in the woods
> we built an awesome fort in the woods around a fallen tree but some asshole 4th graders shit and pissed all over it (not even joking) then tore it down
> they were dumbasses and left their parents' tools by the tree
> a huge fucking axe, not sure why they needed that, to weak to chop things and would give up too easily
> plus there were soccer moms in the area, they'd flip shit if they saw it
> in winter, girl and I hatch plan
> we take all their shit - expensive looking BB guns, the axe, BBs, crowbar
> walk about 1/4 of a mile away to a creek
> throw all the shit in a hole in the ice, current pushed it underneath
> not getting that back for a while
> kids eventually piss off but too lazy to fix fort
> anyways
> we played minecraft a lot
> it was the shit back then
> dicked around for hours on that game
> one day she comes over with a DS and a Pokemon game
> she has no idea I play Pokemon
> was kind of embarrassed about playing it because most of the kids at school considered it to be a game for babies
> stare at her dumbfounded and say "you play Pokemon?!"
> "yeah?"
> "why didn't you tell me?"
> "you never asked"
> from then on, Pokemon became our thing
cont.

Cont now faggot.

cont nigger

> she was pretty good at getting shinies
> she spent weeks hatching eggs until she got one
> asked me which ones I wanted and she'd hatch them for me
> also got her hands on some shiny legends through the GTS, especially in gen 6+
> went on like this for a while
> fast forward to high school
> her freshman year, my sophomore year
> not going well for her
> she's really stressed out over everything because she's in the honors classes and some AP
> I was in them too last year and I knew how bad they were, didn't do very well either
> in February that year she was diagnosed with major depression
> psychiatrist said she'd most likely had it for 3-4 years already based on all the tests
> she tells me about it
> discuss it a lot
> I'm going through similar things but haven't been tested
> a few weeks after her I get the same diagnosis
> we connect even more and have lots of lengthy, all-throughout-the-night conversations
> about a month later, she disappears one day
> not at school, none of her other friends have seen her, doesn't respond to any texts or anything at all
> I'm panicking
> tell my parents about it
> they ask her parents what happened and is she okay
> they give a very vague response
> say that she's in the hospital and is doing fine, that she's just a little sick
> she doesn't have her phone with her
> nobody can visit her except her parents
> I know something's wrong, obviously, but I have no fucking idea what it is
> 5 long days later, I get a text from her
> "hey"
> respond with a flurry of messages asking where she's been, what happened, is she okay, etc etc
> the night before she disappeared, she'd tried to kill herself
> hoooooooly fuck
> freak out and ask her why the hell she wants that
> basically says she doesn't really know why but she doesn't want to carry on, she's stressed out to the max and tired of dealing with some people
> there were a few assholes giving her a rough time for no apparent reason
cont.

bump for interest

Sorry, I'm on my phone, typing slow

> she was the kind of person that wouldn't stand for people being irrational assholes and called them out almost instantly
> got her in some trouble occasionally
> she was even reported for "bullying" once because she told a kid why she didn't want to be her friend, for perfectly valid reasons
> she could only stand so much though, it was getting to her
> along with that, she just said she had a strong urge to die
> comfort her as best I can, she's appreciative
> she goes to therapy a lot after that
> slowly gets back into school 3 weeks after the incident
> really behind on schoolwork and exams are approaching fast
> she had a great teacher that helped her get back together, and she even managed to score a 5 on an AP exam
> summer comes
> hang out all the time
> years pass, remain close
> I'm currently a senior in high school
> 18, don't deport me
> when Pokemon go came out this summer, we both started competing with each other
> she did way better than me and was always a higher level but it was fun
> we drove around together to go to places with more Pokemon, gyms, or pokestops
> it was an awesome summer
> we got to go on vacation to Florida together that year
> beach was gr8
> lots of snorkeling
> she loved the ocean, and seeing her happier was awesome
> it didn't last long, though
> when sun and moon came out, I got sun, and she got moon
> surprisingly, I beat it way before her
> she says she's just been busy lately with schoolwork
> brush it off
now it gets bad

Bump

cont nigga

bump

sorry, this is hard for me to write
> mom wakes me up early this morning, crying
> she tells me to not bother getting ready, just come downstairs now, we need to talk
> I oblige
> get down there, dad is at the table teary eyed
> mom sits next to him, I sit across from them
> ask what's happening, why are they crying
> "there's really no way to sugar coat this. Last night, Lucy killed herself. I'm so sorry, I know how awful this is for you-"
> that was when I zoned out
> everything got blurry, my head hurt
> jump up from the chair and sprint to my room
> start bawling my eyes out as I get back in bed
> lay there for hours crying before I eventually fall asleep
> wake up 7 hours later
> still crying
> try to distract myself by looking at my phone
> scroll through notifications
> lots of text messages from people saying how sorry they are, asking if I'm doing okay, etc
> towards to bottom
> text from her
> 3:03 am: I love you. I'm sorry.
>...
> cry harder than ever before
> sitting here now, a couple hours later, typing this
> major headache from all the crying, eyes are so puffy and red

I keep thinking that if I'd just stayed up a little longer, long enough to receive that text, maybe I could have talked her out of it. Maybe I could have called the police and they could have gotten to her before she did it. She was my best friend, Sup Forums, and I don't know what to do anymore.

why so beta and friendzoned?
>sorry for your loss

Bump

How did she kill herself?
Also so sorry for your lost user

I was never interested in her like that. She was never interested in me like that. Maybe when we grew older something could have happened, I don't know, but it didn't while she was here.

Swallowed a shit ton of sleeping pills. She had insomnia so she had a ton on hand

Textbook survivor's guilt, OP. Sick people make permanent decisions to temporary problems because they're not able to see past the blinders of the agony of the present.

And it IS agony, isn't it? A little slice of hell for every soul unfortunate enough to share an existence here with us.

Remember and honor her with your attitude, OP. Bring a little more light into the world, for Lucy, and for all the people like you and like her suffering through life together.

Thank you. I'll keep your words in mind.

Fap at the funeral, its the only way.

post screenshot of last message for shits and giggs ..also im sorry for your loss

yo thats rough man

There you go

wow she left you when your last message was you'll survive ..thats harsh

Damn, OP

I know, it makes me feel even worse. I keep thinking that hurt her really bad because she was already in so much pain that she wanted to kill herself and then I just had to use those words

at least your grammar was correct ..look on the bright side

Thanks user

She was weak and refused to solve her problems. Nobody remembers quitters. Don't give up.

Don't date emotionally damaged girls either.

your fellow user from the border of vic/nsw in australia

Saved
Speaks to me, I'm so sorry, OP.

Im very sorry man