Most fucked up shit youve done while horny

Most fucked up shit youve done while horny

thumb up pooper

Pissed straight in my mouth while sucking my own dick

Bump

went to the ER

Came inside of one of those rubber masturbators, left it alone for a few hours, and then licked up the mess about 2 hours later (it was all cold)

Why?

Jerk off into moms panties

Stuck my dick in a cup of tea, then pissed in it and drank it.

Not my proudest moment in life.

$100 says it's because of something that got stuck up the anus

...

Consesual sex in the missionary position

Go to hell you heathen

...

Jacked off during college class and ended up jizzing all over the floor. I got away with it because desks had courtesy dividers and the lights were off. Pretty sure the girl sitting directly next to me knew. I now have an exhibition fetish.

MODS!

So I was a teenager and I had cystic acne, which bleeds. One horny night i popped this cyst and it was bleeding, so I wrote my ex's name on my chest in blood and jacked off looking at it in the mirror.

Jacked off to a picture of a mansion. Because I believed before that the eyes in paper pictures could see me from their end.

Came on my girlfriend while she was sleeping, huge fetish of mine

my 12 year old cousin.....almost at the time i was like 15

Please tell me you were crying, that be topkek

Shoved a wooden drumstick up my ass about 5 inches deep. Also did the same to a wooden doorknob. I had a weird ass phase when I was a teen. I still enjoy it when a lady sticks a finger up my bum-bum. It's not the same with my own fingers anymore.

I watched some funny porn where the guy was like "spaghetti!" And we all laughed and laughed... Well that's the way it goes for a gal like me teehee

Stuck 13 inchs of a plunger into my anus daily when I was 15, had an ass phase. :/

>plungie in the bungie

>kek

Shoved a whole stick of butter up my ass shortly followed by a foot long pink dildo in only went like 2/3rds in but still.

shoved a huge black flashlight up my ass and red koolaid came out

You probably needed a plunger to get your ass unclogged after, anyway.

Stole my gf's sister's underwear and bra and jacked off while smelling them. Came on my gf's sister's retainer. Definitely have a thing for my gf's sister. That's the worst when you realize the little sister is way hotter than the original.

Somehow reached my dick gave head to myself cum regret have pain in my spine for weeks

nice feet

Jacked off to black girls and begged them to show me their tits

Asked a fat girl to show me her feet. She said ew and stopped talking to me

This was one of my worst moments too
I wish I was still a virgin

KEK

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Jerked off in Spanish class in 7th grade. Being KHV isnt great.

dude

came back home really drunk

asked my sister for a blowjob

it wasn't my finest moment

>filename
holy shit my sides

I once picked up a blood filled tampon from a random bathroom in my school, and then sucked on it while fapping. I still can't believe I did that.

fuck's sake user, I'm eating here

:>)

Went to the bathroom during mass and jerked off

lolololz lets post iton reddits Sup Forums BAHAHAHA memes bby!

fucked my retarded cousin at a family wedding

I once got a girl extremely wet and turned on with my hands and mouth, then, just as i was about to stick my dick in, I told her she looked like a heroin addict.

Jerked off listening to my mom get fucked by my stepdad.

Jerked off listening to my dad fuck my step mom.

Jerked off listening to my friend fuck his girlfriend when I stayed over.

Jerked off listening to my neighbors fuck.

Jerked off to messed up pr0n.

Thats a Game Grumps Joke, check them out theyre pretty cool.

Fuck off back to roddit

never liked their videos but that was pretty funny

Cry

Maturbated in the same room as my mother for years

Goodness gracious

Fapped to depriving painal

How did it go?

Kek, on accident?

One time I got so horny that I fucking shot myself in the face with a 12 gauge shotgun.

but did it work?

Used a banana as a dido without a condom. It scratched my vagina and hurt for a while.

Fucking newfag.

You mean you boipussy

it did not work

>faaaaah i wanna blowjob gimme a blowjob i wanna blowjob
>(stands up and leaves room, goes upstairs, slams bedroom door)

it was fucking awkward for weeks after, my sister's cool really and I really regret asking her

I fucked with a girls head so bad and fucked her in the ass while she had a boyfriend and she cried the whole time. Atleast I got my nut off

>don't care, had sex

what the actual fuck
and wait if it was in the bathroom does that mean youre a girl? wtf thats even weirder

put me in the screenshot you post on reddit

That'll look great on reddit!


Im joking! Please kill yourself with a lawn mower.

Let's see, went on an AOL chat board as a 16 year old and found some 40 year old guy to suck my dick. Like 6 months later he was my boss at Staples. I found out that he had a family.

Also, I found my mom's vibrator, and used it on my dick and balls to cum. I'm guessing that the whole family heart it, because it was gone the next day.

As a 14 year old I tried to fuck my golden retriever. She was willing, but I didn't know what I was doing, so that was fail.

As a 27 year old, made out with a 17 year old Total groping. Stopped when she admitted to being a virgin. Age of consent is 16 in my state, so not illegal, but I really felt immoral about it.

As a 13 year old jerked off on my neighbor's trampoline, while the girl in my grade (who lived there) watched.

I knew this guy from the local bar. Always bitching about his girlfriend and how hard it was to be a young dad. I befriended his girl, and fucked her a few times. As soon as she confided that he hadn't eaten her pussy since she gave birth, I knew she was mine. "I can help with that."

I hated one of my coworkers a few years ago. I would regularly jerk off, and wipe my cum on his shit, especially his coffee mug. Fuck that smug little prick, hope he enjoyed my creamer.

Fucked a fat nigger. She was LOUD. Like damn bitch, this dick is six inches long, have you NEVER fucked?

Sucked a guy's dick for some weed.

There was this girl in my dorm in the junior year of college. Everyone said that she was secretly a prostitute. I took her out to eat at a cheap Chinese restaurant, and tried every which way to gently probe about the situation. Eventually she was just like, "user, I really need $50, do you have $50?" And I was like yeah, back in my room. I only had $5, but inexperienced whore didn't know to collect first.

My wife asked if I wanted any special birthday sex for my 30th. She probably thought I wanted to get pegged or some BDSM stuff. Nope. I jerked off on her face while she was passed out drunk.

Huh? No I was just a horny teenager and I wanted to feel what a dildo felt like but couldn't get one cuz parents. Why does everyone act like women don't go on Sup Forums? Every goddamn time. It's annoying.

Got any good vids?

Need proof

whyyyyyyyyyy.....?
a Fucking floor tampon...

Fuck off with this need proof shit. Seriously

t. virgin

this is an interesting legacy

>sucked my own dick
>multiple times
>the third or fourth time i have great idea
>cum in my own mouth
>instead regret
>so much regret
>what is wrong with me
>never sucked my dick again

>implying this is a problem

Nah you fuck off, newfag

Holy shit user, I know who you are.

ha, similar, i keep wondering who women who give man BJ can stand the taste of cum lol..its not necessarily the taste but the after taste which is the problem

>lgbt friendly colours in the back

At least you tasted pussy unlike me.
Be proud of yourself. I would...

It was okay. We had casual sex before she got a boy then after she got him we fucked a bit but then she had this whole. "I need to be a btter person" thing and then she only sucked my dick. So then I got her nudes and fucked with her head and next thing I new I was fucking her ass and using her tears as lube

LOL go on an another thread if you want to see pussy that bad. I have better things to do than to cater for free.

...

>mass
Faggot.

faggot

Newfag

In my country schools don't have separate bathrooms. Or atleast the schools I went to didn't.

I jerked off while sleeping next to my brother while my parents were in the same room.

Disneyland vacation. I was like 15 at the time.

When I was 18 I pierced a hole into my mattress, sticked my cock into it and fucked it at 6am in the morning. I pulled an all nighter that day, which is probably why I acted that way. Safe to say my neighbors probably saw me , I didnt have any curtains in my room that day and my neighbor's window was adjacent to mine.

I work as a school janitor for thirteen years and every year over summer after we get done finishing waxing the floor i jerk off on them

tits or gtfo

I thought it would be like eating pussy...

>find my Old fleshlight
>Hasnt been washed for 4 years
>I get instant hard and horny by sering The FL
>I remove The cap, it looked like hell and smelled even worden
>I was horny af and decided to fuck it anyway
>Instant regret when i cummed, what have i done
>Dick begins to burn and its hurts like hell
>Owell it goes away tomorrow
>It didnt go away but got worse
>Couldnt bear The pain and i had to go to The hospital

All this crap and what I'm ashamed of is that a priest touched me. I don't even feel actively bad about the rest of that shit.... The most shame I have is for something that someone else did to me.

i can top that
jerked off wearing my moms bra and panties

It wasn't worth it though. It left me with period blood taste in my mouth for a couple of hours.

>"I'M A GIRL, PLEASE GIVE ME ATTENTION!"
Fuck off.