>Shit cunt 23 year old still not in a career
>goes to job interview
>realises it's group interview
>sits down, looks around.
>sees 2 neckbeards, one old wise japanese man, a guy from fat pizza
>interviewer walks in looking like Tom fucking Cruises kid or some shit
want more?
trust me you have no idea how much weirder this gets.
pic very related
Other urls found in this thread:
Continue my boy
i can already see that thid is gonna be good
less go
>The interviewer proceeds to tell us that this won't be like conventional interviews, he's going to ask some questions that are designed to be "out of the box" or something
>Neckbeard #1 who will hence forth be refered to as tweedle Dum due to his resemblence to the character giggles like a 10 year old and says "awesome"
>Like a fucking flashbang the interviewer yells "YOU!"
>Tweedle Dum flinches and replies "YES SIR!" loudly
>I'm sitting here, like "what the fuck?" with my mind literally blown because i smoked a J in the car 15 minutes ago to quell my anxiety
but it gets weirder.
OP here: i haven't pre written any of this shit, sorry if my posts take a while cause yeah this shit happened today.
bump, i wanna see where this goes
Bumping for curiosity.
I'm home sick today. Entertain me, OP.
Also, I hope there's no drug test for you, or you're in a weed-safe state.
The neckbeard Soldier
The wolf man
and Tom cruises son.
>"YES SIR!" Tweedle Dum replies
> haha, settle down kid im just trying to get everyone amped says Tom Cruise's son the interviewer
> uhh... ok... tweedle dum replies
>ok first question, how would you describe the colour yellow to someone who is blind?, you first soldier boy says tom cruises son.
>uhh.. uhh... uhmm.... I WOULD! oh sorry.. i would say that it's like.... being warm... and fuzzy and happy.
> Tom: allrighty then, next up you buddy, how would you describe it? gesturing towards fat pizza wolf man weraring the blue shirt.
> like.. exactly the colour you think the simpsons are, thats what it is *sniffles and rubs nose*
>ok awesome? so, you're next mate - gestures towards japanese looking dude
>Yellow is honourable it represents humility, and happiness, warmth, and love.
>jesus that was deep man, awesome - tom
>ok lets get another question.
and here's where i lose all hope for getting this job.
Is this you OP?
youtube.com
Why didn't you get asked?
Why do you lose all hope? Because he didn't ask you?
You really did smoke a J this morning didn't you? Kinda don't have your shit together.
>Whats something that you do, that's not on your Resume that could be of benefit on the job should you get it?
>you first (me) i was high... idk i panacked...
>"I've never lost balance"
>i probably have... idk.. i was thinking whats something that's not nessessarily a bad thing, but could be turned into a good thing or something
>Tom, cool, ok you next dude (gestures towards neckbeard #2)
>Ok, soo... this Neckbeard #2 i'm going to refer to as the "Junkrat" from overwatch cause ahh.. he legit sounds like him, and i later found out why (ill explain later)
>Junkrat: haha, that's a tough one, uhm, i'm impulsive and quick thinking
>allrighty, you next (the fat pizza blue shirt wolf man guy)
>^^ that guy: i'm a go getter, i see my self as a pack leader, i am an alpha and i believe i will make you money.
>full on man, ok next up. (japanese dude)
>i'm going to refer to the japanese dude as emperor shiny head cause he was balled.
>emperor: well, obviously i am quite a lot older then the other candidates (apprentice position) but i have a lot of experiance and knowledge in this field
>tom: ok, well what about something not on the resume?
>emperor:oh, uhm... i enjoy walking alone the beach
>tom: how does that aid you in the job?
>emperor: i have very strong calves as a result of walking on the sand haha
>tom: o----kay
new question.
>
OP IS A FAGGOT
A B A N D O N T H R E A D
OP: interviewer was asking them in a very random nature, no one knew who was going to get asked next
ok, i hope this is actually going somewhere
As do I, user. As do I.
Bumping
>Anyway, by this point i figured that this group was fucked up, the interviewer's not picking anyone in here, except maybe the wolf man who talked about money, if this Tom cruise cunt likes that.
>next question (here we fucking go lads...)
>Tom: "Whats something about you that we wouldn't know from looking at your resume, it could be anything, for example, you probably wouldn;t know from looking at me, but i have 3 kids, i know, i'm quite young, you first" (me again)
>i like skateboarding, always have, just something i do to keep fit, socialise, etc.
> Tom: cool man, awesome.
> tom: Ok you next (blue shirt wolf man)
> (wolf man) I love wolves it's my favorite animal, at my parents house over seas i have 3 pet wolves, i see my self as their pack leader, and wolves represent a drive to sucess *literally fucking slams both fists on the table and yells "WOO"*
>Tom: Jesus ok dude cheers (looks nervous)
>my Inner monologue "Ok, so he's on speed"
>you next (junkrat)
>Junkrat: you probably wouldn't know what this means but i'm a brony
>Tom: No i don't whats a brony?
>Me: *snickering*
>Tom: gestures at me* you look like you know what is it?
>Me: "Uhhh..."
(before i could finish)
>Junkrat: WELL! there's a large group of men online who enjoy the show my little pony, and im one of them.
>Tom: WHAT?! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! hahahahahahahahaha! you're serious? you're like what 24 and you like my little pony? dude why would you even say that in an interview, it's like guarenteed to not get you the job, like... i'm not kidding, just forget it dude leave.
>me: (in my head) "LOL WHAT THE FUCK? DID THAT SHIT JUST HAPPEN?"
>Tom: anyone else got anything to say before i leave? because this group interviews pretty much over i think.
>wolf man "what?! so none of us got in because of that idiot?, i am fucking aplha!"
>Tom: ok man settle down, dont make me get ssecurity.
>Wolf man: "FUCK YOU ANYWAY, BETA CUNT! *KICKS DOOR*
Continue, faggot.
>everyones leaving, tweedle dum starts talking to junkrat about overwatch.
>emperor shiny heads still sitting in the interview room despite no one being in there
>wolf mans gone.
>in adesperite attempt to show im not as fucked up as those guys i shake the dudes hand "cheers man"
> go outside roll a smoke, junkrat walks up.
ok, good, good continue
also your writing style is wierd.
tell a story, don't write down a script
>Junkrat: Hey man, can i grab a smoke? that was kinda.. weird...
>me: yeah dude, here fuck it, you need one after that
>Junkrat: so do you like overwatch?
>me: started playing it last week
>junkrat:(look i could type what this dude said but you can find it on wikipedia, i'm serious, after this point i literally didn't say anything other then "mhmm" occasionally while he literally told me everything there was to know about the overwatch story and lore, with an emphasis on Junkrat, buy it's all g cause i just wanted to kill 30 minutes until school zones werent active anymore anyway and i could drive home with less traffic)
>Wolfman: FFFFAAAAAAGGGGGOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTT
*Punches junkrat in the side of the head as im about to leave*
>trips
also what a fucking left turn, this better end good
Check'd. Also, this is getting interesting. Continue, OP.
...
OP:
> Basically to wrap up this shit, Wolfman runs up and clocks this guy, i mean like he was out fucking cold after this hit, REKT and wolfmans standing over him saying "fucking beta pice of shit, i needed this job" and all this other crap kicking the shit out of him, looks at me, and i just shrug and get in my car and drive off
idk man, dude did kinda fuck up the interview for everyone... like... honnestly the whole time driving home i'm thinking i swear to god i just got a group interview with a bunch of guys straight outa Sup Forums and unless there was another exit to that building (which i dont think there was) i'm pretty sure emperor shiny head was still sitting up in that room alone the entire 30 minutes junkrat was telling me about overwatch, and then still after junkrat got knocked the fuck out, i never saw the dude leave the building.
disappointing
OP here:
any questions?
i'm guna have some cones for 10 minutes before i jump on some video game.
Call the company back and ask if you can try again with a new group. It'll show you're interested.
I'd have at least called the cops on roidrage boy one I drove far enough away.
Any company that is that fucked in the way they hire deserves to fail, and you don't want to work there.
I've seen a few different corporate cultures in my time, and it sounds like that one is pretty toxic.
You can do better.
Wolfman can do better too if he learns to chill the fuck out. No reason for him to kick the shit out of an autist, just because he "needs" that job.
If anything, Junkrat did you all a favor in the long run.
I don't know anything about the company, but I can guarantee you would have hated working there.
*once
What video game u playing?
here's the end ? You left like a complete fag while Junkrat was beat up by Wolman in front of you ? You didn't at least asked the interviewer why or what all of that happened ? Have you any clue about what happened there ?
Trips
Op potential this has.
Honnestly, idk if i want to work there, it seemed really.. out of the ordinary, the interviewer wasn;t much older then me, and everyone else there seemed really young, they work in electro technology as security consultants and shit, but i kinda feel like some kid just build a shitty business on some inheritance money now, cause yeah it was a bit off.
I'm sorry my dude but this just sounds so fake after the brony and yelling shit, there's no way people like that ACTUALLY exist.
A lot of high end places do crazy things to sort out who's actually dedicated and who just wants a job. I wouldn't be surprised if Jackie Chan was the actual hiring manager and that kid was just some guy who works in hr.
Nah fuck getting involved man, that cunt was clearly like on charlie sheen or something.
idk probably fuckin overwatch or something lol...
might come across that guy ask him how his head is, if his not dead.
What the Fuck!??
Op you should've sucked alpha wolf guys dick.
Emperor shiny head passed the test of patience and got the job.
You'd be surprised the people i've met growing up where i do man, honnestly i've got so many weird stories like this one.
Anyway, i'm guna go unleash an unspeakable evil in the toilet, and stary playing something, stay tuned for another random greentext of some of the dumb shit thats happened to the shogun of sorrow in the near future.
peace.
...
Like I said, you would have hated it there.
Dude, you seriously dodged a bullet.
But as a 40yo who's seen some shit - not a lot, but some - I recommend quitting the weed. Some vidya is OK, but if you want to start getting your shit together, you'll want to be hitting the street and firing off resumes like a machine.
Life is a LOT of grinding. That's just the truth. And maybe you already know this.
I was in the dot-com boom, and I thought life would be smooth sailing. Many of my generation were expected... fucking EXPECTED to become millionaires overnight. Obviously 2001 put the kibosh ok that for a number of reasons.
I wasted a lot of time in my 20s and 30s trying to do shit the easy way, trying to help build a company that probably would have wound up like this one, working hard but not smart, working smart but not hard...
There is no easy way. If you find one, it won't last.
But that's OK. You can do it.
Fuck I don't know how this turned into a motivational speech.
tl;dr: you got lucky and you don't want to work there. But keep trying.
Too bad you learned nothing. Easy ways won't last, but they're a diamond dozen. It's called riding the gravy train.
That's why I was saying call 911 from a safe distance. But I'm a compassionate tryhard in my old age, lol.
When I was 23, I dunno, I might've just left them to fight it out.
Good luck on the shitter. Hope it all comes out OK.
Irregardless, for all intensive purposes it won't work out in the end.
It's a doggy-dog world out there.
OP's face when he realizes he was the only person in the group looking for a job, the whole thing was the interview.
>leisure suit Larry series for starters
>op ultimate fag