World will be destroyed in 5 minutes. You will need to fuck the person physically closest to you

World will be destroyed in 5 minutes. You will need to fuck the person physically closest to you.
How fucked are you?

"I think you're pretty well off"

- girlfriend

My 70 year old father in law, fuck no

My neighbor

My GF is in the next room asleep. But she is grumpy as fuck if you wake her up in the middle of the night once she has started sleeping, so there is no fucking way I'm getting laid even if it is the end of the world. She would just tell me to STFU and let her go back to sleep and pull the covers over her head.

Think im wanking off because its my little sister. And no i wouldn't do that you sick fucks

The dude who live next door, who will probably make me his bottom.

My daughter. And fuck no you niggers!

Pretty sure the person closest to me is like 7. Screaming little fuck. I hate apartments.

My brother. No

Jeez, my neighbour, an about 80 yo woman. Can easily reject.

I'll trade you for a 7 year old

my 55 yrs old overwheight hairy male boss.
nope nope nope

My roommate. No thank you.

sister or mother...
in the living room...
Well, inbreeding is normal in a hick town right?

my lesbian roommate

at least she's quite ok, she's showering atm.

does my dog count? otherwise i'm screwed, there's nobody within 5 mins of here

>World will be destroyed in 5 minutes.
>You will need to fuck the person physically closest to you.

but what will i do with the other 4 minutes and 30 seconds

My wife is next to me in bed. I'm fucked.

Can I fuck myself?

why would you NEED to????