Kicked out of university in my third year

>kicked out of university in my third year
>parents think I graduated with a bachelors in biochem
>bought a printer to pint a fake degree and transcript

Has anyone here tried getting a job with a fake diploma? Ideally I'd like to work in a lab.

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добре де Елена защо? Не ти ли харесва биохимията?

I'm about to buy a fake degree in business science...thing is I'm a felon, so I'm really trying to figure out which degree would get me a job the easiest. Fake degrees and transcripts work very well, unless employers run a complex background check. So if you're thinking about working for the pentagon, it might be difficult. Other than that, youre fine.

Jobs dont ask to see your diploma, they ask to see your transcripts. They may ask to see your sealed transcripts. So you need to get ahold of a watermarked copy of harvard transcripts and you need to find a way to duplicate their stamps and seal in case the employer asks for a sealed copy.

I'm sure this stuff isn't impossible but if youre going to go down this rabbit hole its gonna take some work and commitment.

good luck doing that with biochemistry. they'll need recommendation letters and prominent professors in each field are no more than a hundred per a tight specialised subject, so they'll all know each other personally. best thing is to try to change to a European university they will prob recognise some of your subject..+ it will be a lot cheaper...

In both cases they're going to find out you're missing the fundamentals right on the first day.

Uneducated faggot nigger . Go sling crack back to your mom's and hopefully one day there will be a "peace" march after your drive by shooting at Popeye's

Those transcripts are to give them an idea of your insights in lieu of relevant experience.
You're gonna set high expectations and then turn out to be about as skilled as your average highschool graduate. You don't think it's gonna stand out?

not necessary... going to a new lab there is 99% you'll have no idea what they are doing over there. Did my MD (medical doctorship) in a biochem lab and you'll need at least 6 months to get grips on what's going on...
Still as a biochemist they will expect a bit more of you for your PhD. but it's normally no less than 3 years.

>PhD
>Doing intern gruntwork
You're gonna be expected to be a bit more self-sufficient than running around getting coffee for the first 6 months. If you couldn't leg it through college, you sure as hell don't have the knowledge to last in a professional environment.

Fucking rotfl arts and biochem

MD is 1 year
PhD is 3+
of course you can't compare those. but even as the former I observed new PhD - doctorates coming to the lab. you still are the lowest level and is expected that other people help you a lot. of course you are expected to propose the experiment design and unerstand protocols to your professor or overseer and take part in the work meetings and give work in progress reports and suggestions.
you'll have some real freedom when you are a post doc

Guys, dont try to discourage OP
Certain things have a glorious way of going down in flames, and this one has a lot of potential
Rolling for OP getting the job near some Sup Forumstard

>propose the experiment design and unerstand protocols
>understand protocols
See that's the thing. Let me refer to this guy We're talking biochem. "Going up in flames" isn't a figure of speech.

I have a question OP. Where did you get the name written on that diploma?

And you user, don't bother. You're just going to turn out to be a fraud and blackball yourself from the networks you try to get into.
Let me give you some genuine advice.

You're going to be offering yourself to investors or at least, representatives of investors, generally. When any reasonable stakes are involved, I can promise you there's gonna be at least a fiscal background check.

Now don't get discouraged. They've had their own adventures, some might have a record, most will have seen bankruptcy at some point. But if you come at them as a fraudster, if they find out, charges will be pressed and you will be shunned by all of their associates. If you instead actually study the subject matter, and approach them with a legitimately sound business case or an interesting proposal, they're not really going to give a shit about that felony conviction or the absence of a degree.

You need to decide what you want to get into, and create a job for yourself, then pitch that to private equity investors. Ask them to mentor you as part of the deal. It will create a lot of confidence and commitment on their part and genuinely give you a more secure path to making this work.

>cum load in biochemical sciences

what?

Loves chemistry that much

I'm guessing OP is a frat rat, a fail jock or some kind of nigger

While everyone's talking about forgery, here's something new. I'm a delivery driver for Dominos, and it's a pretty fucking good job. $50K per year, free food, and I work 30 hours a week. I got into an accident last week where I was at fault, and now management wants a letter from my insurance company saying who was at fault. The problem is, I can't keep my job with an at fault accident. Should I forge the letter?

Theres shady, stupid, irresponsible people like you in every workplace
Find the one in the insurance company and give it some bucks for the letter

what the fuck country has an MD thats 1 year?

I would look into working for the Navy or Airforce in the science division.

Tell your parents "I want to do hands on work first" and let the military pay to finish your education.

My sister dropped out and faked a business degree, but you're in a slightly different ballpark as Chem, especially if you're trying to say you graduated from Harvard. Harvard is small, and lots of higher ups in labs will have gone to an ivy, Stanford, mit, etc., and these places all cooperate. Aka, if you say you graduated from u of h, no one will know anyone in the department

Pick a less prestigious university (fuckoff state uni or something) and maybe switch to something less specialized. Tell your parents chemistry no longer interested you, so you got a job as (insert entry level business/marketing position)

I already got a letter from them saying I was at fault, and honestly I was just going to scan it, change the fault determination and a couple numbers of the claim number (in case they try to verify) and turn it in.

Germany

>mfw
What the fucking hell were you planning on doing with a bachelors in Biochem?

yeah man you need at least a masters !!?? With a bachelors you can't be more than a lab technician

U gonna bust, boy

>ba in biochem

Depending on where you look for work, you might be lucky to get $16 an hour. Chem degrees fucking suck unless you make a network and bust your ass.

What more is there anyway? There are more than just lab techs?

In CA, fault in accidents aren't revealed in MVRs, which my work checks every year or so. So basically the only reason they could know this is bullshit is if they call my insurance and check. If they do that, they won't be able to verify it because I changed the claim number. Dominos does have my policy number on file, so they can look up my policy number to verify, however, at the time I was driving a car Dominos doesn't have on file, and there are a few recent not at fault accidents from my family on our policy. I feel confident.

Seriously, you are gonna fuck up
You're an "easy job driver" that couldnt keep that easy job without screwing it
Aaaaand you want to make it go away without spending some dough
You have like zero chances of success in forgery

...

>B.A. in Biochem
>Bachelor of Arts
>Arts
>Biochem
>Science
Dipshit

Go to another university, faggot! Pref. outside the US of A

as difficult a it is for you to grasp, that's how it is called traditionally faggot.

bullshit, link me up to that shit. only things i can find is that you get your MD research as part of a 4 year MD+PhD course.

Of cause buy it, they gonna bust u and put into jail and u'l become a blow job prof there.

no man, that's after you finish medicine. you do some research for 1 year or so...it can be with patients or meta-research with papers or experimental in some lab to get the MD degree.

Maybe your boss will be sympathetic?
How else will you pay for your bills?

Wouldn't recommend it. It doesn't take that much effort to call a college and check the history.
And I would think that most employers, especially in such a scientific field, would expect you to have references from previous jobs, internships, or colleges. And you don't want to make a reputable company look bad, it could come back to bite you in the ass really hard.
I would recommend you fake some profiles/references, and fake some w-4's while your at it. Just find some dude who specializes in fraud and ask him to hook you up. Then bribe some work-study computer tech kid at your college to temporarily forge your academic records/transcript for the time being until you get the job, at least a few months or so into the job the company will wait for extensive background checks to come in. So be warned and prepared.

MSc in Biochemical Eng. here. My first job out of uni in 2010 landed me $60k. Now it's nearly double.

Lol. I graduated with a furst ckass honours degree in biochem.
I work in a lab now, and let me tell you, its fucking complicated and difficult to do/understand...

You got no chance faking it.

Go get the degree you lazy faggot

damn boss, ill look more into it! thanks!

>MSc in Biochemical Eng
WTF is that and who offers it
I just love these stupid titles that pop up on here

Wait... Holy shit. OP, Are you from New Zealand, Wellington?

you don't even need to have finished med school. You can take an extra semester or two for an MD

MD 1 year. .. kek.
If you poses this degree you should kys

Lol Dominos doesn't give a shit about its employees. 100% guaranteed I cannot continue driving at this store at least without that letter. It's a pretty easy forgery too

Most minimum wage places don't.
And as easy as the forgery might be, I bet you don't even have a printer.

Imperial College London. Usually goes by the name "Chemical Engineering with Biotechnology". Same shit though.

Where did you go btw?

I saw this guy wearing a Graduation Gown and they were taking photos on the beach.

Was that you OP?

No, I have a printer and scanner. I doubt I'll even need photoshop for this, word will do. It's a basic typed letter with basic font. No signature or even contact information on it.

One of the official reject schools for Californians!
UC San Diego
Structural Engineer with math minor

ucsd.edu/

not yet dude, but that reminds me I should be writing right now

Where do you live and what are the requirements

Bull fucking shit.
Even the most desired companies don't ask for transcripts, is this what your highschool adviser told you? lmao.

At most, they will ask how your GPA was, and most don't even do that much.

Forge it. You'll be fine.Just don't be a fucking shit and do a good job. Add a phone number of a friend on the letter and tell your boss that they should contact them if they would like to know more.

Then tell your friend what to do and bobs your uncle.

I hadn't even thought of that but that's brilliant. The original letter didn't have any specific person's contact info so I was just going to leave it alone.

That's any hire right out of college. As an employer trust me, I don't expect a recent graduate to do anything without some training. But if you can't learn quick you will be fucked.

Prep for jail... and being sued by your employer.
Slightly more expensive than the degree you didn't get.
With luck, you may even get a lawyer who downloaded his certificate from the same website...

Do it and tell us how it went

Not sure where he's trying to get a job at as far as the market competition, but unless it's very competitive, or they have suspicion, they probably won't call the school. Most employers are lazy and don't put the extra effort in. Even people in government jobs have fake degrees and resumes. Just don't try for a security clearance. He's faking a bachelors degree, it's not hard to fake that kind of knowledge in an interview.

Some companies still ask to see them. My first job out of school asked my GPA and that was it. I applied last year for a job and after 10+ years in my field was still asked for a sealed transcript. I don't think they even bothered to open it, but they did ask. The federal government seems big on transcripts I've noticed.

If they catch him before they hire him they won't sue him. They'll blackball him from the industry, since most industries have a professional network. They may threaten him too. If they find out after he's hired they will fire him, and probably threaten him and tell him to go quietly. Lawsuits are very public, a company won't want to file a lawsuit that says, we were idiots that didn't bother to verify anything a new hire told us in the interview.

>I've done it before. Should work. Good luck

Lemme tell ya why you're gonna fail. And it has nothing to do with a fake degree.

People who want to work in a specialized field will be, and will have been in contact with several companies that deal in that field, so when they get out of college, they can go straight to work. Because why go to Harvard (or any other) and not have your shit together? You don't graduate from an expensive college and take a break for a while and work at McDonalds to make sure you have free cash until you actually pursue your career.

Also, colleges have fields in which they excel in education. For example if you produce a degree that says you graduated from Harvard Law, the firm you're wanting to go to work for will fucking check up on you because that's a hefty badge you'd be wearing.

>suing someone with no money
So then you blackmail them for incentive if they intend to blackball you.

You watch a lot of tv, dont you

No. But by the off chance the company didn't want to come off as ' idiots that didn't bother to verify anything a new hire told us in the interview', I can only imagine that a public lawsuit would be the last thing an up-and-coming business of any type would want.

Blackmail isn't fiction.

Then you blackmail for a price. And if the employer knows the employee knows the company can pay, you have an even more serious problem.
Because there exist people in this world who will, for a fraction of those requested blackmail prices, liquidate (or threaten/silence) through any means necessary.

They could be wearing leather jackets, riding motorcycles, or wearing inconspicuous disguises and/or clothes and driving inconspicuous cars. Any of the above or anything in between that would work for the best price to keep any kind of scandal, investigation (you name it) from being let loose.

This thread is relevant to my interests. Unemployed fellow here and my curriculum is full of fake job experiences and shit (I was NEETing it up). That stuff is easy and my sister and friends cooperate. How about faking education? Is it even worth it? Has anyone faked a degree is whatever from wherever and actually landed a comfy job?

The truth is most employers don't check, at least not very thoroughly. There's usually a criminal background check and drug test that goes with every job. But verifying college degrees/transcripts is a fairly hard thing to do, they need to ask your school for a sealed transcript which usually costs like 50-200 depending on university. They realize that's a lot of cash for any applicant to cough up (and it may even discourage applicants), so the prospective employer is expected to pay, which they don't like to do.

I have 3 friends from high school that only partially completed college, they all got jobs in computers/IT by lying and saying they completed their degree, the school never checked. And ALL of them could do the job well, so they never checked after the fact.

But the important thing if you're gonna lie about that shit is that you CAN actually do the work required and won't be startled and confused when they start talking about common shit in that field that you *should* know. If you seem like you don't know your shit, they WILL check to be sure you really went to college for it and then you'll be busted and fired.

And before you ask, no one fucking arrests you and tries you for purgery for lying on applications, everyone does it a bit (mentions that they were laid off when they were really fired or mentions having better grades in school than you really did).

Does the IRS or FBI not intervene at some point?
What about when a company expands and grows, or has to adapt to changing state and federal policies?
>Turns out this company knew what they were doing when they were hiring people that didn't have actual degrees.

Anyway, is it even a requirement for someone to have a specific degree to get a specific job? It seems that in a competitive job market those people with degrees actually make the cut, and anyone else wouldn't. So would the competitive market even exist if employers didn't actually check? There's your scandal.

FBI and IRS do not intervene for people that lied on applicants. Hell, if they told the local police they'd probably shrug. I've never heard of anyone getting in legal trouble, but they may fire you if they find out.

Nearly all employers take your word for it. But they may expect you to pass some introductory tests and quizzes to prove that you know the field.

It's only if you can't do the job and fuck it up that they'll double check you. NEETs lie to get into the IT field all the time. Hell, their employers probably KNOW they're lying, but if they can do the job, it doesn't really matter if they have a degree in it or not.

But also know this, the higher paying the job, the more likely they are to really check. But some Joe Schmo IT man for a small company is never likely to be examined too closely if he can do the work.

Usually the worse that happens about lying about a college degree is the company you applied for just never calls you back...

If you know the shit out of coding or IT or something like that, I'd advise you to lie to get those jobs.... Like I said 3 friends (one being my brother) have done this and are doing way better than I am financially (and I did truthfully go to college).

Just seem confident, clean (something NEETs are usually incapable of), and make sure you know your shit in that field before applying.

(cont)
And once you've actually held a job in that field for a long time (several years), they don't need to check for a college degree at all. That PROVES you can do the work, further validation is unnecessary.