Lads I kind of want to go bald eagle with my johnson. How do I do it so I get no bumps?

Lads I kind of want to go bald eagle with my johnson. How do I do it so I get no bumps?

pour acid on pubes

change your razor blade like a normal person

Dont shave against the hair. Simple as that.

This. Don't go against the grain and make sure it's a new blade and not a dull one

You guys dont get it, shaving down doesn't work, it trims the hair alot but not bald, what do?

Try flattening out the bumps with a hammer.

Get a steamroller. Your problem isn't your hair, it's your gunt. Fatty.

Wax strips

wax

wax - the only way. hurts like a mother fucker when you pull it off but only for a few seconds. dated a chick who did that for a living (bitch saw different pussy every day) should stay smooth for a month and a half or so.

razors aren't meant to be perfect, just close enough.

1. Use shaving gel
2. Use a sharp razor
3. Be gentle
4. Keep the razor wet/moist so it's all slippery.

Bumps = skin irritation.

1 use a fresh razor
2 use cocoa butter lotion as "shaving cream"
3 dont go too fast and dont press down too hard
4 when finished, pour witch hazel all over the area
5 moisturize once a day with the same lotion you shaved with + a little bit of lotion with salicylic acid and mix them together
6 dont shave too often, wait until the hairs are at least 1/4 inch long to shave again

damn dude the fuck did you do to yourself

Veet for men man easy

TRIMMED = ideal.

Shaved = spikes bumpy mess.

if you want the porn star bald look, that's wax motherfucker.

>Better razor
>Lose some fucking weight
>Nice men
>Better underwear

Use NAIR. Completely painless and works fast. Only have to use it once too.

shave against the grain

Also use lots of lotion afterwards.

I've always had success doing all of this.

Try Veet or Nair, but make sure it is for sensitive skin, and make sure you aren't going to have an allergic reaction before you put it all over your junk.

how long do you keep applying lotion? i did that one time and it got rid of the bumps but it felt weird and the lotion got everywhere

i think im just gonna wax

you are all fucking idiots. Femanon here,
1: get a bowl of ice cold water and a clean cloth, set-a-side
2: trim the long hair first much like you would for a beard.
3: once hair is half an inch or less long, use hair conditioner in the shower with a fresh razor to shave hair, shaving either "with the grain" down how the hair grows naturally, or across sideways. BUT NEVER GO AGAINST THE HAIR. god damn plebs.
4: once done shaving, rinse off with cool water, then grab the bowl of ice cold water (its going to suck) put clean cloth in ice cold water, dab cold wet cloth on skin, moving it down with the natural direction the hair grows. (this step keeps the skin from inflaming)
5: dab the skin with your dry towel to get all moisture off.
6: get a sent free (if it isn't sent free itll sting like a bastard) stick DEODORANT, not fucking antiperspirant. that shit will clog your pores.
then you're done. no need to moisturize at all. seriously the stuff gives a weird feeling afterwards.

wtf does deodorant do? wtf does the temp change water do?

HOLLLLL UP

are you saying if i follow this i wont get bumps?

this looks elaborate

depilatory cream, like nair.

get a new razor and go slowly with plenty of shaving cream

I mean, I usually use it when I jerk it for the next couple of days.

This

You still get bumps if you don't use lotion and other stuff though, remember that.

Kek

Stop shaving.

Trim instead.

shave down nigga its fine

show timestamped picture of freshly shaven pussy for proof