So I've gone 4 years without fapping because of mishap with a model airplane sliced off 3 fingers on my right hand. No...

So I've gone 4 years without fapping because of mishap with a model airplane sliced off 3 fingers on my right hand. No, you read that right: 4 fucking years. All because I forgot to disarm the ignition while applying lube and my plane's little 2 stroke glow engine started when it shouldn't have and the carbon-fibere propeller did the rest. To add insult to injury I was at a public lake beach with a .60 sized plane equipped with floats and the water filled with blood quickly and all of the kids freaked out. The blood also attracted a school of brook trout which promptly made off with my severed fingers. All attempts to use my left hand to do the deed have failed miserably. Can't even get myself hard. Did I mention I'm a 26 year old virgin?

At this point I'm ready to jump over the 80 foot (20 meter for you metric cucks) ravine near my backyard and just end it all. I live with my parents so its unlikely I can hire an escort.

What do Sup Forums?

Also, /nofap/ thread I guess.

>get a fleshlight?

fleshlight?

Well mate. Get some fingers, or some sort of prostitute.

Pic of hand for proof with time stamp

How the fuck can I order one and sneak it home with out mum and dad seeing it?

Gotta hand it to you, this is one problem I can't finger out, just like the other pointed out use a flesh light

Lol

>Things you can buy in a sex shop for 500, alex

They have discrete packaging as an option when you order one.

>orgasms are everything

> All because I forgot to disarm the ignition while applying lube

So let me get this straight, you were at a public beach with kids around, MASTURBATING?

Smells like bullshit. Hand w/ timestamp.
>26, sneak past mom and dad.
You know those boogers that you just can't get out? You should think of yourself that way, failure to launch.
Anhero webcam tiem. Do itt.

Maybe you're gay?

>kids in water
>public lake beach
>motherfucking brook trout.
Say bluegills and I'll believe you. Jesus fucking Christ, simply say
>fish
and I'll believe you.

Gay

>not being a full time exhibitionist

pleb

Trips and you do itt

Timestamp and hand or gtfo

what the fuck kind of model airplane has the power to actually amputate fingers?

This has given me an idea for my next Craigslist post.

I'll have to go for the "charity case" look.
Thanks OP! Why don't you post this story to Craigslist also? We all know there's a whore out there that'll do it.

tpokek

do it

How have you not managed to use your left hand?

I've never went from start to finish using the opposite hand, but I imagine it would be a learning experience.

Not something one can just jump into I'm sure.

Are you retarded OP?
It's literally the same thing

When you finally cum, your cumshot is going to magnificent

if i were you i would not be giving a fuck about my parents seeing i ordered a fleshlight, sex toy, or prostitute
just hold up your mangled hand and tell them you haven't bust a nut in 4 years
if they love you they will understand

pics or it didn't happen

>did this one time
>ordered a bad dragon dildo
>they didn't put it in "discrete packaging"
>thankfully parents weren't home when box arrived
>delivery guy gave me a dirty look
>took pic and sent it to them as a customer complaint with receipt showing i ordered discrete packaging
>got a full refund on a $200 dildo due to their fuckup.