You guys wanna hear about how I almost got convicted as an Accessory to a Murder?

You guys wanna hear about how I almost got convicted as an Accessory to a Murder?

just start the thread with the greentext faggot

...

lets hear it

>Be me
>Finally graduated from school and am now I licensed Veterinarian.
> Get a job in a remote little town
>This town has no more than 6000 people but because of the terrain is so rough only about 200 live near the town center
>The terrain is mostly dry desert chaparral
>perfect place for rattlesnakes.
>The people in this town own a lot of livestock like goats, pigs, and horses so we make house visits for the animals
>Because we have so many rattle snakes in the area a lot of people and animals get bit
>Thats where we come in
>We have over 300 rattlers in our shop which we milk to make antivenom
> we encourage people to capture the snakes alive if they find one on their property so that we can gather its data add it to our bank and milk it
> The town is about 2 hours away from any major hospitals so our antivenom is a crucial step before they helicopter them out
>Its a lot of dangerous fucking snakes

Where the fuck are you?

bruh go on

I don't envy that job. Fuck venomous animals.

>Anyways we work with some farmers to help make the antivenom and blah blah
>Since much of the population lives on the outskirts of the town we will sell a few vials to people so in case they do get bit they can slow the venoms effects
> every few months we sell about a dozen
>This mid teen white kid brings in his dog and says it has rabies
>OH SHIT
>Shut shit down and quarantine the dog
>Turns out dog didn't have rabies guy just lied
>He kinda half apologizes and without missing a beat asks to buy antivenom
>"No, sorry. You have to be older than 21."
>Bullshit rule I made on the spot to get him out the clinic because of how pissed off I was
>He leaves
>A week later kid comes back and asks if we can show him how antivenom is made
>My coworkers bring him inside the lab and show him a condensed version of how its made
>"COOL THANKS!!"
>Practically bolts out the door
>ok back to our regularly scheduled programming.

it has its perks but you have to be VERY careful these assholes will bite you just for the fuck of it

>not pre-typed

just end your life

>Be me
>22
>never pretype anything
>think people with pretyped stories are fucking retards
>guy once posted every story he ever has pretyped on his machine
>wtf.
>tell him I cringed
>"....why?" he asks
>facepalm because it was literally 4000 incest stories.

...

> about 2 days later he comes back with a literal bag full of rattlers
>WHATTHEFUCK
>"I was so excited I went out and come some snakes for you guys! Can you show me how to milk them?"
>Uhhhh sure kid?
>I show the little fucker how to "milk" the snakes and how careful you have to be not to hurt the animals and not get bit.
>we tag the snakes he brought in (about 12 mostly juveniles) and measure/weigh them
>"At what age are they the most deadly?"
>Flew over my head because I thought this kid was just super eager to learn everything he could about snakes
>Adults because their venom is more concentrated unlike a juveniles
>I put the snakes he brought in bins to release them and bring back about 4 needles to get the venom from the collection cup
>Put the needles on the table and walk away to finish preparing for the collection
>I come back and one is missing

K....eeeeek

this guy gets it

So does OP get charged because the kid tries to make his own anti-venom, gets bit, then dies
or
The kid wants to play a "prank"/teach a lesson to someone, puts a rattler in their shit, his bootleg antivenom doesn't work, they die, and the kid goes to jail?

Sigh.....

He taught kid how to rape a snake.....kid used concentrated venom and injected his victim with it......got accessory to moirder....

Now tell us.....how the FUCK did the defense go

Hit and a miss..... X 2......1 more strike and you should kys.....with venom

Fuck
......
Swing and a miss......strike one for MY dumb ass

Third guess is that kid wants to inject himself with venom/anti-venom to get high or some shit. And then he dies.

>be really fucking mad
> see the kid hurrying away through the lab door
>get out
>get on the floor
>everybody walk the dinosaur

Fucking with snakes, in general, seems like a bad idea.

Yoooooouuuuuuuuu'rrrrrrreeeeeee ooooouut.....

Did you see my guess?


Lets see of the four which did the stupid kid do

Fucking show me another picture of sushi......go ahead......on a fucking 18 hour fast you fucking asshole

>I thought to myself maybe I dropped it on the floor or maybe I just thought I counted 4
>He whips his phone out of his pocket and says he has to go because his mom wants him home
>ok bye
>Dont see this kid for like a month until the sheriff walks into the clinic with a warrant for my arrest
>OHFUCK
>get arrested and shipped off to a holding cell
>show up in the court room where the kid is in the defendants chair.
>Get brought up as a witness and a suspect
>"Yes your honor, Mr. user taught me how to extract the venom and everything."
>Turns out the kid was being bullied at school and injected the bully with almost an 4 tsp. of venom
>Bully drops dead
>Kid goes on a rampage and injected a teacher with a little bit when they tried to restrain him.
>Teacher was fine but the bully died within the hour
>cops show up and he gets taken away
>I was visiting family during the whole event and came back after maybe 2-3 days after the whole situation
>It looked like I tried to flee

...

Aaaaaaand i win.......now answer my question bud.

...

You.....bastard.....thankfully ive gone pescetarian for health issues......but fondly remember fucking beefy goodness like that

doesnt sound very believable...

...

>be me
>friend driving my car (I'm drunk)
>I get very nervous when someone else is driving
>at red light
>Ferrari pulled up and the tinted window opened to reveal my teenage daughter sucking off a high-ranking politician
>"Don't be scared. I just need you to follow me for a minute." he says to my friend
>light turns green and he speeds off
>friend can barely keep up in my shitty volkwagon
>to my horror, I realised I'd been this way before
cont?

You're a fuckin liar OP. If this Is true than surely some news article exists.

Link to a fucking news article.

Then why did he want to buy antivenom in his first appearance?

Sauce you faggot?

Faaaaak

cant tell if serious or just that stupid

The OP claims this is oc apparently user. Sauce is Sup Forums. This story sounds bullshit but OP claims it to be true

I was sitting at a long stoplight yesterday, minding my own business
patiently waiting for it to turn green even though there was no on-coming
traffic. A carload of bearded, young, loud Muslims, shouting Anti-American
slogans, with a half-burned American Flag duct-taped on the trunk of their
car and a "Remember 9-11" slogan spray painted on the side, was stopped next to me.

Suddenly they yelled, "Allahu Akbar! Praise Allah!" and took off before the
light changed.

Out of nowhere an 18-wheeler came speeding through the intersection and ran
directly over their car, crushing it completely and killing everyone in it.

For several minutes I sat in my car thinking to myself, "Man....that could
have been me!" So today, bright and early, I went out and got a job as a
truck driver.

MOAR

TOPF
KECK

My last roomate stabbed some people. He was in a bad brawl and pulled a knife. We're in CA, captain pussy state. He'll probably get quite a bit of time.

and then?

>Samdfags
I know this cause the first post wasn't even funny. Get a life homo.

>add it to our bank and milk it

...

as he should. maybe he will learn to fight like a man in prison in between ass rapings

You're badd user. On a side note what is that food in the pic?

lrn2infer, retard
He never even attempted to use any antivenom, so why the isolated event where he would have only obtained some without learning how to milk snakes

to bad you were wrong faggot.
now go jack off to some cartoons,

What am I looking at, and why is it giving me a food-boner.

> 2 months go by and after my colleagues and even the sheriff testify in my favor im let free
>My coworker who is now my fiancee really saved my ass because she had a picture of herself and the kid holding a rattler.
>"If he goes, I go. I had just as much fault as he did."
>Sheriff tells the judge that I would go to the school and teach the kids about snakes and how dangerous they could be (I would take my boa and cornsnake and let the kids pet them.
>Having the sheriff vouch for me really helped and almost solidified my innocence in the whole thing
>Anyways kid gets hauled off for pre meditated murder and I walk a free man
> The mom of the kid who got killed moved and the mom of the killer apparently hasnt left her house since the verdict
>sheriff drives by and drops off groceries and we had to go and "rescue" her goats because they were malnourished and had no water in the middle of july
>Now we only sell antivenom to people the cops approve and have a valid reason for needing it
>We dont allow people in the lab anymore which really sucked because we had to euthanize an old Labrador and couldn't let the owner in because of the rules.
>I quit a week ago and my fiancee and I are moving.
>Shes driving while I type all this.

boners all around!

>Implying you wouldn't want to legally be able to kill a carload of mudslimes
Spotted the sandnigger

hmmmm why would he want to buy venom????
so he wouldn't have to learn how to milk the snake... my god...

Link to article or its bullshit

>learn how to milk the snake

that just sounds wrong...

>antivenom is the same as venom
Oh, you actually are intellectually disabled. I'm sorry if I offended you with the R-word. No hard feelings.

to your teenage brain, maybe

Both parties were minors of age so I was kept hush hush sorry

>says the guy that likes to milk snakes

Are you American OP? What the fuck is wrong with you all?

Says the faggot neckbeard

You're a cuck am I right?

Damn man. Good story. Glad everything worked out in your favor.

Best of luck to the both of you.

Get the boot out of your ass man......fuck......people trying to enjoy a good laugh 'round here......go back to the catholic church or the GOP with your wonderful lack of a sense of humor

Yeah, born and raised in Anonville, United States

dont hurt yourself trying to think too hard bud

such a teenager omfg you know this site is for 18+ right

crazy fucking story dude.

Im not trying to be an asshole here but you do realize that kid died because of you, right? At least partially. You'll never be a free man, this will haunt you for the rest of your life. Seriously, what is wrong with Americans?

Kek....if only i could go back bitch, you'd never see me here

Like he couldn't have simply googled that shit.

Shit bait

But he didnt, are you fucking stupid?

This would be really sad for you if we hadn't diagnosed your condition.

This must be bait. No one is this retarded.