Ask the all-knowing asshole anything!

Ask the all-knowing asshole anything!

got any worms?

How mad am I over trump being elected president?

Will my weed dealer finally show up today he says he will but he said that the last five days

What does it feel like being penetrated, sphincter?

Bet you know alot in the way of cocks.

Are my packages finally going to arrive today?

this asshole is full of shit

Not yet.

You were decieved to by polls. It was quite a shock. Just accept the fact that an asshole now runs the country for the next 4 years. Not much has really changed.

If you blow his phone up enough, or start buying amounts that demand his attention, he will heed your call. If not, move to a civilized state where you can just go buy it in a store like it aint no thang.

Good. Open your ass and knowledge awaits.

No.

Will Donald Trump make it to his inauguration?

Unfortunately, he will.

What makes you all knowing and why are you an asshole

Do vaccines prevent disease?

How many brothers fell victim to the streets?

You talking shit?

>when will the world finally be rid of religion, and specifically islam?

Who did WTC?

KEK willed it so. I am but a humble vessel.

Fuck yes they do.

Too many, but there will still be many more.

I prefer the term, "speaking the truth."

Never. The world is uncertain and humans seek comfort from their various existential crisis.

Angry middle-eastern extremists who found the cheat code before others did.

Wrong, I enjoy it. You don't know shit. Which is ironic coming from an asshole
Pic related, it's OP moments before this thread was made

Who would win in a fight, Danny Devito or Charlize Theron?

Jesus Christ, that's like asking him what God looks like. Do you really expect an answer?

You just don't know it yet, young sphincter. You lash out because doubt gnaws at the shit you call brains, as your god-emperor betrays you with every cabinet appointment.

Draw. Devito would bite her nipples off before getting his tiny ass kicked into a coma, but her redeeming asset would be forever destroyed.

Why are you such a raging faggot?

Oh oh oh oh, also.

Why haven't you killed yourself yet?

Does playing dead in a bear attack work?

Yeah one question at a time, hey?

Why do niggers have bigger cocks than brains ?

What are you doing tomorrow?

You project your own insecurities onto me, as is my burden. Suck a wet fart from my puckered being for redemption.

Sometimes, as a VERY last resort. Try yelling, looking as big as you can, and if you must, punching it in the fucking nose first though.

They were put through selective breeding processes for generations, which favored physical prowess and obedience above all other assets.

Going about my scared daily rituals.

is Regina sad?

My brown eye knows many Reginas. You will have to be more specific.

Does this 13 year old neighbor want to fuck?

She might, but she isn't old enough to make such decisions from an adult perspective, so the answer is a resounding, "No."

...

can i stink my penis in you?

Is my wife cheating on me oh knowing brown eye

Why should I ask you anything if all that comes out if your mouth is shit?

Only if you are an attractive ladyboi.

I doubt you have a wife, but in the unlikely event that you actually do, I think we both know the answer.

Not true. I am also quite flatulent, I assure you. Also, I have been gifted with "the sight."

(You)
Never. The world is uncertain and humans seek comfort from their various existential crisis.

>Thanks for nothing hole ass

Fuck you asshole!

Well looks like I'm gonna have to fap again

I'm sorry my answer disrupted your bowels, but I think you knew the answer before you asked your question.

Why are my tastes and opinions objectively superior to everyone else's?

Fuck you faggot OP i came here for hope not more degeneracy, if i wanted that i could read the papers.

As I stated above, only if you are an attractive ladyboi. Or I suppose I could make an exception for a young lass looking to get into pegging. Flatulence be with you, my newly formed turn.

Because you see the world through your own unique lens. Bungspeed, young shart.

You asked a pulsating asshole for advice. If that isn't degenerate, I don't know what is. Own it, and quit caring so much about conforming to your own self-imposed ideas of social acceptance and normality. You'll live a happier life.

No i won't, life will always be shit unless you're a miljonair.

Life is a brutal bout of diarrhea. Find fun and happiness where you can, and sometimes you'll find that it becomes bearable. Even enjoyable in brief flashes.

how old am I

You're of optimistic hole of an ass, I'll give you that.

May I have a kiss from you?

Not very, in the grand state of things.

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.

Pessimists are just simply Optimists with hindsight.

Certainly. I hope it's a tonguey one.

I find them to just to be a tad beaten down. Hindsight always comes with age, for both optimists and pessimists.

Dear wise asshole, how do I get an attractive girlfriend?

Work on your mind just as much as your body. Read. Become interesting to talk to. Be genial and humorous. And if that fails, make a lot of money.