How are you supposed to feel for someone in a relationship?

How are you supposed to feel for someone in a relationship?

I'm 23, she's 34, together for ~2 months, have slept with each other. Very open with each other. Can talk about almost anything with each other. My first relationship, not her first.

She says she's not sure what she feels for me, says it doesn't feel like the love she knows from her past, no butterflies or anything. It just feels "familiar" and "safe" to be with me. She isn't sure where this relationship will go to.
She says that she enjoys my company, likes having me around but doesn't really feel sad or anything when I'm not with her.

I'm hoping for some insight on what her feelings might mean for the relationship.

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it means you'll do okay until she finds something better.

stupid fucking cuck.

Those are just excuses. She basicaly doesnt care about you.

It means that you are friends with benefits.
She will move on the someone else who excites her.
She is likely a dumb cunt who has never had a successful relationship and never will because she is unrealistic.

You're her fuck stick. Is she hot?

The way the relationship was started was that she explicitly came out and told me that she felt more for me than friendship.

I think it's a possibility that the feelings she feels now are a sign of healthy love and that the feelings of butterflies are the feelings of a crush; an unsteady base for a relationship.

It means you're fucked and the sooner you leave her the less painful it's going to be

That's right op, don't remove those rose tinted glasses.

Keep getting attached and falling in love, you gullible faggot.

Let he destroy them like a sledgehammer.

It means it's time to start fisting that bitch OP.

Enjoy!

It means you have no future, unless she develops feelings

Enjoy the sex and don't get emotionally involved. If you develop start to feelings for her then bail, as an act of self-preservation.

2 months in and you think you got something try a couple of years and when she annoys the fuck out of you but you still find something to love about her that's love.

Yeah it's hard to look at it objectively but knowing Sup Forums I feel like I can't trust Anons either cuz Anons also often are subjective leaning towards pessimism.

No I'm just sure that's going on, because you come here for advice yet adamantly keep defending her feelings towards you.

You're trying to convince yourself, we don't give a shit.

Rose tinted glasses mate.

She says Daquan is a much better lover than you op.

Look for an end goal you can create with being involved in her life. If you can't find anything, then your relationships is as good as dead. If she isn't willing to meet that end goal, then she's only a waste of your time.

You cannot deny the cynicism of Sup Forums users.

>Look for an end goal you can create with being involved in her life. If you can't find anything, then your relationships is as good as dead. If she isn't willing to meet that end goal, then she's only a waste of your time.

Familiar and safe is fucking awesome tho. Passion burns out, hormones burn out. Familiarity and comfort don't really. Sounds like a good basis for a long-term relationship if you ask me.

What kind of goal do you mean?

You can also ignore it, but as I said you're adamant in defending her.

Don't ask for an objective outlook when you're already heavily biased, fucking cuck.

That depends on you. It's your choice of what you want to make with your life. If it were me, I'd look for a woman who is willing to actually listen to conversation rather than just her side and is very willing to have children. I personally like helping people, so I would look for a woman who likes the same as well.

Most of these commenters have no idea what they're talking about OP. Love isn't the feelings you feel when you're around some crush you're attracted to. It's not something you accidentally fall in and out of on a whim. It's a choice you make to put someone else's needs over your own and to trust and honor another person forever. She likely isn't feeling all that puppy love stuff because she's older and she's been through that before and it doesn't have as much of an affect on her. The problem with this relationship may end up being that she THINKS she's supposed to have those feelings or else it isn't "true love". How many broken relationships and divorced couples do you know that split because one or both of them claims the "feelings" of love just went away and the romance wasn't there anymore? Probably a lot. That could happen here, too, and it would be a shame because it's based on a misunderstanding of love. I've been married 6 years. There aren't always butterflies and sparks every time I hear my wife's voice or kiss her in the morning as I'm leaving for work. It's not always romance and late night talks and mind blowing wild animal sex. Does that mean I don't love her? Of course not. Does that mean we should divorce because something is wrong? Nope. We've just moved past honeymoon stage and are discovering that real love is a decision you make every day and that contentment in any circumstance is better than always trying to chase fleeting happiness.

OOOOOH ZING!!!! NICE ONE! UP TOP!!!!!

Good for you, user. I don't hear of a lot relationships being solid like that anymore. My grandparents have been married to each other for most of their lives, and I only wish more people could have what they do.

I don't have familiarity with relationships (platonic friendships or otherwise), but I'd like to have this someday too.

I'm trying my best in finding a balance between my feelings of longing and the cynicism of Sup Forums.
It's not easy.

What I'd like is for the relationship to hold steady long term and eventually move in with each other, for now that's as far as my wishes go.
She has said that she'd like to be with me for as long as possible but that it's unrealistic to never look at the possibility of us breaking up due to her not really knowing how she feels about me.

lol you are dating a women who is 10 years older than you user

she wants the settle down start a family type
get out while you can enjoy yourself young

first relationship and you go dating your mother

Well, you're obviously going to have to aim for more than just becoming room mates. That's practically nothing. Keep thinking about it until you come up with something better.

Your post pretty much reflects what my idea of love is (even though this is the first time I have feelings for someone).

The tricky part is that I don't believe she's willing to commit to me, it would be easier for her to decide to stop seeing each other I think.
I understand her reasons for not wanting to commit (I'm younger, a NEET, have psychological issues, she might want kids).
Would you think it would be wise to try and make a decision together already? I'm thinking it would almost guarantee a destruction of the relationship as is..

I'm kind of a shut-in anyway and I like her mature mindset.
It would be a nightmare to be dating a typical girl my age.

It means she is desperately looking for a cuck to finance her having a baby but likes to ride your cock.

You are actually in a position of power in this relationship, just don't fuck it up thinking she is the one, be cause she isn't, 100% guaranteed.

I think the wisest thing is to make all intentions as clear as possible, set realistic goals and then proceed from there. If, even at this early stage, it's obvious that a long term relationship isn't feasible than you can get out now with no hard feelings and minimal wasted time.

Well, other things I can think of are qualities she already possesses and has shown to me.

She listens to what I say, whether it's me talking about problems or me talking about random stuff.
She is very helpful to people and genuinely caring.
She's very honest and trustworthy. She's patient and she tries very hard to be understanding.

I've implicitly show my wish for a long-term relationship and her response was "I just don't know yet".
An answer that I appreciate more than a false promise but an answer that is frustrating too because it does not give clarity.
And I'm just not sure if it's fair to either one of us to post an ultimatum on the basis that there is no clarity (which there will never 100% be)

Go fuck some younger hotter chicks and make sure she knows...bitch will come running

I actually think it's completely fair to expect some form of commitment... depending on what level your relationship is currently at. Think of it like a correlation... if 2 people are just casually going out for burgers every other Saturday; no commitment required. If they are seeing each other exclusively and making out and getting lovey dovey; at least start to clarify the direction and the future status. If they're fucking and watching each other take shits and basically living as married couples do; you better believe I would expect a long term commitment. Don't just get super involved and attached to somebody over a big ugly "maybe" or "i don't know".

Tell her you're clearly not looking for the same thing and that it wont work, shesI clearly jut with you until she finds someone better
Then do

Thanks user, I'm not entirely sure what I'll do with your words but they've definitely given me some new ideas/insights.

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Happy to help man.

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How has nobody said the obvious?! If a woman who is in her 30s is dating a guy in his 20s that's a major red flag for a long term thing. I can assure you there's mental or psychological issues she has. Not one healthy 30 year old woman would be with a 20 year old. Just as no healty normal 20 year old girl would be with a 40 or 50 year old guy. There's issues there, either mental of physical.

Not anything against you user, I get it. She's probably your "real" first relationship and she's probably showing you things you've never known before. But don't think it can last for your lifetime. Even if she commits to being with you, if she doesn't get psychological help, she's doomed to never have a lasting relationship.

Probably sterile

She does have psychological issues and is getting help for it.
The same is the case for me.

how can you be with someone for -2 months

In that case don't you think she feels "safe" and "familiar" with you because you two are going through physchological issues together and that's the only reason. Not because she truly has deep feelings for you?

It's like recovering alcoholics who are together only because they're both recovering addicts. And as soon as one feels like they're better they leave the other one.

simple.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tilde

That's possible, I'll talk to her about that.

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Take this for wherever it's worth from an old fag. Better yourself first, deal with all your issues. Then go looking for a real, true relationship with someone.

Remember don't ever let your happiness be dependent on someone else, I'm sure your psychologist told you this in the very beginning, and it's so true. Make yourself happy and you'll never go wrong.

This guy gets it