Welcome to the Salty Spitoon, how tough are ya?

Welcome to the Salty Spitoon, how tough are ya?

i once stubbed my toe. And i only cried for 30 minutes.

I had a bowl of nails for breakfast.

I ate a nail of bowls for breakfist this MOARning

without and dicc

I start every day with a shot of bourbon in my black coffee

i fucked a feminist once without the need to use the harpoon

I fucked the harpoon

How tough am i? my internet was down for 20 minutes last week (just while i was about to cruise through 9gag) and i only cried for 20 minutes

I went on the Disney website and where it says "ask my parents permission" I went on it without their permission

I have consensual sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreating.

How tough am I? I got dubs without even tryin'

i started browsing Sup Forums

MODS

I beat Dark Souls. [spoiler]With a keyboard.

I used the public restroom and left the seat up

Everything below 1000 is good ping for me.
My old pc couldn't run wikipedia, I proceeded to play 600 hours of skyrim with about 6 frames per second.
I eat things instead of cleaning them up.

I sit down to piss

Oh fuck this guy is the toughest here, shit he gets V.I.P

Every morning I dislocate each shoulder so I can stretch it more.

I had sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation.

I openly supported Donald Trump in a university

Stand aside, this is how you to do!

There can only be one.

Bitch you nasty

I cumshotted my dog in the face and felt no guilt.

I've been prairie doggin a poop for over an hour now.

Please I'm more qualified for this job

how tough am I? I have gone 2 years without sex and haven't shot myself yet.

Woke up at 5:40 am
did deadlifts, squats and bench press
Ate bacon and eggs
Grabbed my wife by the ass with both hands, kissed her tits, grabbed her pussy and told her I'll take care of it after work.

Watch this pussy

How tough am I?
...
I nutted in my girlfriends knickers. She found out. She put them on with my warm cum still on them. Walked around all day with them.

Go away

You're all bitches

how tough am I
How tough am I
HOW TOUGH AM I
I'm 30 never had sex and proclaim it proudly to every girl I meat. Somehow they sometimes think virgins are cut and I STILL ABSTAIN.

>only cucks don't have willpower

Let daddy show you how it's done!

>every girl I meat

I cut off part of my thumb once.

...

I Stubbed my toe and only shed 1 tear. Fight me bitches.

reminds me of my old pc, played gta san andreas at 20fps
such is poorfag life, i'm with u man

Yeah you to much of a bitch to do that I bet

The sad thing is this is actually true. Sad in the cringey for all of you way but I hold my head tall with pride. Virgin powers I'm a wizard bitch

Everyones not worthy of deez dubs

Stand aside faggot and watch my singles!

Same fagging?

I overpowered my father while he tried to rape me when I was shitting on the toilet.

Samefailing

So in the end u raped him?

I browsed /new/...
while being a darkie.

I can reverse moonwalk backwards faster than the speed of rape

aha

I won a presidential election by calling people pussies, calling their wives ugly, insulting them during a presidential debate and by starting a second American revolution in which Sup Forumss core ideology were made mainstream, all well blue haired faggots called me "Drumpf" and the Meinsteeem meeeeeda tried to fuck me out of it.

I won a staring contest with against eye of mordor

Ill let the dubs talk.

I beat the sans fight after 83 attempts.

I sodomized a pregnant pig with a hemorrhoid, then siphoned it back because I needed the calories