Ok Sup Forums most offensive jokes you know. Go

Ok Sup Forums most offensive jokes you know. Go.

women's rights

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a baby?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a hotel window.

What gets smaller, but keeps on screaming? Baby in a blender

Gays

What do you call a five year old with no friends?

A sandy hook survivor.

Most black 15 year-olds in this country are decent, law abiding citizens. It's their kids who cause all the trouble.

Whats the difference between a nigger and an elevator?


An elevator can raise a child

How do you stop 4 niggers raping a woman?
Toss them a bucket of KFC.

alternatively, a 3 year old

>pic related is a nigger's father
>pic related is also a honky's soul

This is also how you get sand niggers to stop raping a woman.

What's the difference between the Holocaust and a cow?

You can't milk a cow for 75 years

What's the best way to stop your sister from getting raped?

Get out of town for a few days

...

What does a slave and a sex toy have in common?

If it doesn't work, you're going to end up beating it

What's the difference between a nigger dick and a log of shit?

There is no difference.

What's the difference between master race white parents versus slave race nigger parents?

Both white parents are thee for the childbirth, while neither of the niggers are there.

O.C I made up a couple years ago.

Nobody ever finds it funny, think I'm creepy.
>man is on first date with girl
>girl asks "what do you do?"
>man says "I am a pedalphile"
>woman looks disgusted
>wtf she says
>"What's wrong with loving to ride bikes?" the man said
>The woman looked relieved and picked up her drink
>"It's a great way to meet kids." he finished.

I chuckled.

whats the difference between sarah palin's mouth and her vagina

only half the shit that comes out of her vagina is retarded

>"""joke"""
Don't quit your day job.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Porsche Panamera?

I don't have a Porsche in my garage

You're 1/10 my boy, a real special lad.

THE HOLOCAUST IS REAL LOOK IT UP

>Both white parents are thee for the childbirth, while neither of the niggers are there.
>implying a mother isn't always there at childbirth
>babby's first racism

>thee
>implying there
Papers, please.

What do you call a gay dictator?

A dicktaker!

Did you hear about the guy that got into a car accident masturbating on his way to work?

Yeah, he got off on it.

>broken window and a guy walk into a bar
>guy orders a beer
>broken window asks for a shot of whiskey
>"sorry sir, I can't serve you. You're clearly already smashed"

what's seven inches long, red, and veiny that makes my girlfriend cry when i put it in her mouth?

her abortion

How do you make a dead baby float?

Take your boot off its little head

That's a stupid

Hahahahaha, I am so ashamed of myself.

I thought you were going to say your turd after eating at mucho burrito.

Do better then, goat cheese.

You know what i like best about dead baby jokes?

They never get old

What's brown and sticky?

A Stick.

This one is actually pretty good.

They don't have to do better, they just wanted you to realize the joke was awful

Whoa there chief, settle down

This isn't even offensive.

just came up with this one, don't know if someone else has already thought this up but whatever

how do you force a jew to leave a tip?

get a rabbi to bite it off him when he's a baby

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh

Ten

An elitist, a misogynist, a con artist and a madman walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says to the only person walking in "Would you like your usual, Mr. Trump?"

what's worse than a dead baby?
>a trashcan full of dead babies
you know what's worse than that?
>one on the bottom is still alive
you know what's worse than that?
>it has to eat it's way out
you know what's worse than that?
>it likes it

>a redditor and a 4channer walk into a bar
>4channer whips out his dick and spits on it
>redditor quickly lubes up his asshole
>4channer cuts off his head and yells GORE THREAD
>redditor posts the story on nosleep.
>everyone reposts it at letsnotmeet.

i shouldn't have laughed that hard

Why is that man strangling a Canadian?

Whats the simularity between a bike and a nigger?
without a chain is won't work..

whats the difference between a bike and a nigger?
You dont need to kick the bike that hard..

Whats the difference between a nigger and a bucket full of shit?
the bucket

What you get when you mix a octopus and a nigger?
no idea how you call it, but it can pick cotton really fast!

Good job, Washington Post

Haha that's good. But I'm jewish.

Dam u BTFOd heem

You know how to stop a woman from crying about you raping her? Rape her kids.

kek

guess this is just the place where no one finds that topic discomforting anymore

Why did the Pope teabag a preteen year old little girl and make her worship his nuts?

Because he was sack-religious.

made this one up:
how many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? just one, but the rest of them will bitch about the dark times for 75 years

>be me
>be 19
>eat an entire can of slimfast protein powder
>ff 1 day
>I hear a rumbling
>ohgodno.jpg
>zoom into the bathroom and slam my ass down on the porcelain
>a torrent of liquid shit and various other fluids, I believe even mucus and stomach acid, flew from my anus and ricocheted around the bowl
>the loudest, wettest squelch I've ever heard in my life was uttered by my rapidly flapping anus
>I stood up after the calm, looked down, and saw a fucking rainbow of colors
>whatthefuck.webm
>I attempted to flush, but it would not go down
>fucfuckfuck.gif
>get 5pairs of rubber gloves
>stick my gloved hand in the pile of shit
>ohgodwhy.png
>I slowly repeated the process while flushing repeatedly and eventually got it all down
>mfw

...

How Long is a Chinese name

What do a girl and a condom have in common?

They both want to be in your wallet.

you in the right thread, lad?

Is it bad?

Yeah, my mom was mad at me for telling her this one.

Yep.
See:

...

Why didn't you use a plunger?

How Little John first know about his little sister first period.
His daddy's dick taste like blood

Dude I had this when I was little. I'll tell you about it, it was awful

>be me
>9 years old
>Mom and Dad had to go out of town, they leave me with a babysitter for the weekend
>Babysitter is my uncle, Clint
>He has a much nicer house than Mom and Dad so it was fun when I got to stay there
>Uncle Clint has a beautiful little girl that he has primary custody of (guess she's my cousin? never really got to know her), an ex wife and 2 awesome dogs (might I add his house was 3 stories compared to my 1,500 SQ FT house
>Me, Uncle clint, and the dogs are all in the living room watching TV
>Uncle Clint asks if I'd like to play Monopoly or some other game
>I say I'm not in the mood for Monopoly, do you have any other games? Or maybe Yahtzee?
>Uncle Clint jumps and and screams
>"YAHTZEE?! HERE'S YOUR YAHTZEE MOTHERFUCKER
>Sticks his dick in my mouth


Anyways my tongue was so raw and bumpy for like 2 weeks afterwards

So a friend of mine says to me "That's it! That proves it! You're gay."
So I take my mouth off his dick, swallow his cum, wipe my mouth and tell him "I have no idea what you are talking about."

How do you know when it's your younger sisters period?
when your dad dick tastes like blood

D:

You drop a nigger and a feather from the top of a tree. Which one will reach the ground first?

The feather, as the nigger will be hanging from a rope about halfway down.

how do you make a tissue dance

put a little boogie in it

I had a first time reaction here, cringe and laugh at the same time.

fuck, got me

D:

Unironically the best joke in this thread and still a shitty joke

samefag, annyway go back to your gaylord thread

D:

>So Hitler walks into a bar
>says "Third Reich now, gas the kikes"
>it happens so
>hahhahahahhahaah
>it's funny cause its true
>oh lawds
>...repetition is the best of comedy

What do you call a man sent to Uranus?

An ASStrounaut!!

What about my joke about the pedalphile!

You socialist twat.

hitler did nothing wrong

So dumb

I personally prefer this joke

What do you call a russian sent to space with only a magazine to keep him company?

A Cosmonaut.

Pretty good.

>how you call it
nigtopus

Mike Hawk

Why did the kid cross the playground

To get to the other slide

A pedophile and a little kid are walking through the woods together at night and the little kid says "in scaaarreed." And the pedophile says "YOURE scared??? I'm the one that's gotta walk outta here by myself..."

saw a nigger carrying a tv down the streey the other day and i thought to myself; "that looks like mine"....... then i remembered mines at home shining my shoes

whats the best part about showering with an 8 year old girl?
slicking her hair back and making it look like a 5 year old boy

who are the world's fastest readers?
the 9/11 victims, they went through 88 stories in 3 seconds

I knew a German woman who worked the register at the corner store.

We used to call her the Hun at the Till.

Jesus Christ fed 2,000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish.
Adolf Hitler made 6 million Jews toast.

>"What is incognito mode?"

it was a bad joke
this joke was actually funny

There was a male child born from a white mother by a black father. What is his most famous quote?

"Racemixing is white genocide, a form of eugenics."
-President Barack Obama

What's got 5 arms, 3 legs and 2 feet?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

...

That breed of goose makes an excellent pet. Fuck the person who took that photo.

So, this cocksucking libtard feminazi walks into a bar with her transgender fuck toy and see a retarded neckbeard cuck with a "Make America Great Again" hat on...
(punchline not needed, you idiots from both sides are raging)