What the fuck is wrong this god damn cat?

What the fuck is wrong this god damn cat?
>out of nowhere 2 weeks ago it appears at my deck
>comes to my deck every day and almost never leaves it
>the second it sees me, it runs up to me and starts profusley meowing at me
>once it starts this it wont stop for like five minutes, even if i close the door and ignore it
>runs away if im ever too close too it
>constantly meowing at me, if i go out of the house from there it follows me loosley

I don't own it and I know 100% that it's homeless. How do i get it to fuck off for good?

The cat is haunting you. If you kill it it will continue haunting you, only scarier. You should probably kill your self

fucking shoot it

shoot yourself then shoot it

nice Full House.

Feed the cat, also maybe a bowl of milk, and it will go away

Take it in and give it a good life you piece of shit. Or if you dont want it re home it to someone who has a soul. If nobody takes it then shoot it. And live with the regret of killing somthing that loved you

Take him into your home keep him or cat and dog shelter. But he obviously likes you shame you want him to go away. Kneel down on his level not to close and make a little ticking noise and rub your fingers hell come over

Grab a bowl you're okay with never seeing again (or buy a cheap plastic bowl), fill it with water and drop it off somewhere away from your door.

Pretty much these

IT JUST WANTS MORE

Call animal control and they will come remove it.

If you were in the streets dude hungry and wanting somewhere warm. He wants to be with you user ;(

>feeding an animal
>expecting it to leave the source of the food

Are you retarded?

get some acetaminophen, crush it up into powder, mix it with tuna feed it to the cat. problem solved

OP. You took advice from the wrong guy. Don't you know the saying?

adopt him.
he will give you luck and happiness

Seriously fucking kill yourself.

if dubs you take the kitty in

roll for this

op take kitten in house and love him forever

This is something I know how to deal with user... put him in your bathroom for 3-5 days with water, a litterbox, and food. Make sure it doesn't get out. Now, after 3-5 days that cat will think this is its home. You now have a pet cat.

its not working

its just gurgling at me now what the fuck cats do that?

get an air rifle or something mate.

Get rid of it. They kill like 30 mammals a day, you would be doing your local fauna a favor.

It's a feral cat. That means its to wild, and will never be a good house pet. A cat will routinely patrol a same exact route every day. They do that until they die. On it's daily route one of its ways to find food is by seeing who wants to feed it, and returning.

Get some proper cat food, feed cat daily. Make friends with cat and eventually invite her inside the house. Provide a warm blanket next to food and water. Don't try to shape her into a housecat, let her outside when she wants. She's prolly not always been feral since she's not shy of humans, but idk if you can get her to use a litter box.

It's begging for catnip you dumb cunt
There's catnip growing somewhere around your house
Find it and relocate it to your annoying neighbors yard
??????
Profit

He's scared bro. He's wild any person that's probably seen him has probably scared him off or tried attacking him. My grandma own a stray cat and I had one he was terrified took some time he would hiss and sit at the back door except he was sick. He was dying and he would let you hardly touch him. But on his last day he came in the house and gave everyone love. :(

This. Think about it op you could scare him off now probably bad things will happen to him. Or have a good mate at your side

Go to your local hardware store and buy some Fly Bait. Put it in a bowl of Cola and set it outside. The cat will be offended and leave.

it likes cheese for some reason

Trips and animal control takes it away I don't want it

Sage

It's trying to adopt you. From the way it's behaving, it was somebody's cat who got dumped.

If you have some canned tuna, put a bowl of it on the deck and tap your finger on the deck next to the bowl. The cat should come up and start eating. While it's doing that, scratch it between the shoulder blades. Now you have a pet cat.

Don't feed it dry cat food because that causes feline diabetes. If you shop around, you should be able to get Friskees canned cat food for $0.30-$0.50 per can.

Op do the fly bait thing

That cat just wants to love you. I would love it back.

>don't feed it dry cat food because that causes feline diabetes
feed it dry dog food. That's what i do with my 2 cats

Not gonna read this thread - this simple.

Cat wants you to take care of it. Obviously. If you want to just feed it from a distance and slowly bring the food inside. He's yours.

Seems you don't want it, though. Don't be a dick.
Unfortunately the only way to get rid of a cat that thinks you're nice is to not be nice. So the solution is take it to the fucking shelter.

/thread

Where do you shit for half a week then

give him love

it likes you op, don't be a dick

It's a stray cat, dude.

Take it in. Slash its throat, pickle its eyes, and practice your dissection skills on it. Once organ removal is complete, skin it, and try some cat tacos.

Cat Taco recipe:
-Cut skinned meat into manageable pieces (think chicken strips)
-Tenderize chicken
-Marinate with a dash of cayenne pepper, a teaspoon of paprika, salt and pepper to taste, and olive oil
-Leave for at least 30 mins
-Grill that motherfucker or sautee it. If sautee, add several drops of lemon and 2-3 sprigs of thyme to enhance the flavor
-Serve with dishes that mix well with game dishes such as green beans, mashed potatoes, and boiled veggies.

>Be me cat
>Be disowned by everyone :(
>Walk to some guys do meowing to piss him off
>Kek he comes to the door
>He feeds me cheese not bad
>He's on the phone
>Think he's calling animal control :(
>Op if your reading this don't call them signed cat

...

Feed a cat and he will be full

Teach a cat to feed itself and it will always feed itself and leave you alone

I didn't expect you to be that gullible OP. There is an old saying: You don't choose a cat; a cat chooses you. You are the Chosen One, so enjoy it. Cats are usually good buddies, and low maintenance.

Dude, just be nice to him and love him, cat's are the greatest, mine helped me soooo many times when i was suicidal and shit, just give him food and milk, then slowly and patiently make him used to you and your home, donpt be pushy, and if you dont know what to do i bet there are hundereds of websites and blogs about welcoming and living with cats.

Just love him.

you're a fucking piece of shit
i hope you know that

You can absolutely bring in a feral cat. I've had success about 90% of the time. The ones that didn't end up indoors just preferred to hang in the rusted truck out back and be my buds when I did yard work.

Kek this

Let it in. This be your cat. Like woman, but cat.

i mean if you're gonna eat it there's nothing really wrong with killing it quickly
just don't draw it out or something, that's sick
it's better than the cat starving slowly

give us a new picture of the happy cat now !

Yeah pls

Seems cute OP and it likes you. May as well make it yours. Cats are easy to look after once they're house trained and even thats easy. And it may already be by the looks of it.

More like though it belongs to someone who keeps pets outside a lot so it roams around to visit other people. My parents have a cat that lives 4 doors down but it spends 10 hours a day following my Dad around it.. and they've never fed it once. Sometimes cats just dig you.

...

Please take your moral faggotry elsewhere.

You think I give one fuck? I live in the city. I get these stray cats all the time. No one cares about a slit throat--or other things. The best way to consume them is through tacos or through slow cooking.

Humans, obviously, are a bit tougher to get away with, but still possible, even in the city.

That requires trips.


It's still just fucking meowing at my god damn deck.

Dubs and I try to take it in.
( no guarantee of success but ill try )
Trips and animal control gets him.

Yes op. Gonna need more pictures of the cat.... That's in your house... Happy... Forever... With a new name.

Check em

roll for adoption

Even dubs saves it
Odd dubs names it

Roll nig nogs this faggot really isn't going to leave now that I fed the fucker

And again cause i'm a soft faggot

Rolling for dubs

this is for u cat

feed him, give him a name !

...

Roll for animal shelter

There you go op

WINRAR

Skinwalker

Don't take him in straight away lure him with food

Roll for take in.

fill bathtub with water
take a bowl
fill up with milk
put bowl inside your house
wait for cat to drink the milk
close the door
get some rocks
get a sack
put cat inside of the sack
trow sack in your tub
take sack
go to your bind
problem solved

WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE

NOW ITS MULTIPLIED

Just take it to a vet or shelter yourself. By the time this thread was created and is over it could already be fuckin gone. Rollin

Cats are weird, user. Haven't you learned that by now?

Enjoy your new furry friend, OP. :) Cats are great.

you are funny ! Try it with yourself first, to see if it works

Truth

you are the king of the cat

LOL what?

Even trips I try to take in the other one
Odd trips the other one gets controlled

Adopt both of them now

OP they're just neighbourhood cats walking around trying their luck for food before going home and eating even more food there.

...

First cat was a bullshit scout should have killed it when you had the chance

winrar

dubs incoming

i hope i get quints and you kill that damn pest.
cats are the worst. you're stupid if you take this thing in just because some faggots talked you into it.

It might get interesting. See if they fight, and/or if cat #1 gets territorial... Adopt #1

THERE'S TWO OF THEM NOW AND THEY KEEP STARING AT MY CHEESE
ANIMAL CONTROL WONT DO SHIT AGAINST MULTIPLYING CATS

WAT DO WAT DO

Well op you got 2 cats now. Maybe 3 for quads

help them, give food

Take them in your house and love them OP

Get a water gun and keep shooting it with water every time that you see it. It's not that hard.

They look the exact same probably came from same mother take them in bro feed them your little homies now

this is good advice. fuck all u faggots trying to make op keep the faggot cat

Roll

leave a cheese trail into your house

Dude that is someone's house cat that got left out and doesn't want to be.

You need to bring it inside, it's FUCKING MISERABLE OUT THERE

lighter fluid. zippo cats 2.0