Hey /b I'm really bad at comebacks when my friends roast me. Can you help me out?

Hey /b I'm really bad at comebacks when my friends roast me. Can you help me out?

Just pull out a knife and cut one of their pinkies off. They won't roast you anymore and might give you money at random intervals

For real though, I'm fucking terrible. They roast the fuck out of me and I'm just left there in silence. Sometimes I really beat myself up over it too.

Oh shit I got this .... call them a cuck faggot to their face .... this will work out to your favor

That's so plain though. They're pretty clever with their jokes. One has diabetes and I make fun of it sometimes, but I just get shut down again.

Like I said, assert yourself by cutting off one of their digits. It'll work, trust me. Just so long as nobody calls the cops and you convince the cutee that it was a table saw accident that he doesn't remember if he knows what is good for him

Just try to diss them back. Use for example an overexaggeration of their diss to counter. It's not even hard.

I can't do that. They're my friends. I don't have anyone else.

If you're not smart enough to hold your own in verbal combat, be smart enough to stay out of it.

Can you give an example? I'm dumb when it comes to these things.

That's why I just stay silent afterward. Idk what to do, so I do nothing.

A good exercise would be to try to insult random anons on here. Give it a try.

if they roast you they arent ur friends, u are probably just the retard that follows them and they talk shit behind ur back heavy id know cause me an my friends had a kid like you try to be in our group. ended up with us all kicking the shit outta him in the lockerroom while we stripped him naked and kicked and punched his head until we never saw him again. run.

That kid was probably you haha

No it's not like that. We're good friends, I just lose all the damn roasts. Btw y'all are fucked up. Stupid faggot ass bullies. Like to dominate cause your daddy always dominated you. I bet you liked that shit though. The only time he ever actually spent with you.

AT LEAST I DON'T SPEND MY TIME SUCKING DICKS IN THE BATHROOM AT OLIVE GARDEN. YOU DIRTY LOWDOWN SLIMY FILTHY DISGUSTING GLUTTONOUS HOGLIKE MOTHER FUCKING COCK SUCKING SON OF AN INCESTUOUS PEDOPHILE SHEMALE RAPIST PROSTITUTE. GET YOUR MOM'S DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH. DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO? I'M GONNA SHIT SO FAR UP YOUR ASS. STOP FOR A MOMENT AND REALLY GRASP THAT STATEMENT. I AM LITERALLY GOING TO SHIT UP YOUR ASS. I WILL TAKE MY PANTS OFF, RIP YOUR PANTS OFF, OUR SPHINCTERS WILL TOUCH, AND I WILL SHIT. YOU WILL TRY TO COUNTERSHIT. BUT MY SPHINCTER WILL OVERCOME. AND I WILL PUSH A LOG OF SHIT FROM MY ASS UP INTO YOUR BODY. THIS IS WHAT SHALL OCCUR WHEN I FIND YOUR KEYBOARD FUCKING FACE. YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? I WILL PISS INTO A POT. I WILL ADD CORNSTARCH TO THE PISS AND BOIL IT UNTIL IT GETS REALLY THICK, LIKE SAUCE. I WILL POUR THE THICKENED PISS INTO A PLASTIC CONTAINER AND PUT IT IN THE FRIDGE UNTIL IT HARDENS INTO A FIRM JELLO. THEN I WILL THEN CUT IT INTO RECTANGLES. BATTER IT IN A MIX OF MILK, FLOUR, AND EGGS. AND DEEP FRY IT AT 375 UNTIL GOLDEN BROWN, FLIPPING ONCE SINCE THEY FLOAT. AND I WILL SERVE YOU MY DEEP FRIED PISS. THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR BEING SUCH A FAGGOT. COCKMUFFIN

How's that user? Did I pass?

"Are you fuckign gay, user?"

"If you'd call your mother a man, sure."

Haha fuck yeah! Thanks user.

Yeah you're right. That's not very good.

Also. How are we the fucked up ones when you came here asking us for advice on how to socialize with your peers?

If we're fucked up, what does that make you?

Fucking kek'd
Almost check'd
Good one though user, I like your style.

just remember they roast you because of their own insecurities, it makes them feel good to make someone else feel as if they're beneath them. whether they consciously think that or not

i think he was practicing but yeah he is terrible at this. maybe op should try reverse roast. like say something like dude if u dont shut the fuck up ima have to make love to your butthole idk i suck at this too actually

Cause you beat the fuck out of him. That's fucked up man. That kid looked up to you and you beat him and tore him down. I bet all he ever wanted was your approval. He probably thought you were the coolest kid. The fuck is wrong with you.

Great advice, thank you.

"Listen, you cubby chunt. I could have you killed in a literal minute. I'm so fucking done with your shit and your lame ass jokes. I'm going to fucking 9/11 you. I will fuck your shit up and blame it on brown people. No one will know. No one will care. Call me a faggot again, I dare you. I triple dipple dog dare you, nigger. They will never find your body. Your parents will be all over the news, crying and shit. They'll beg for your safe return home, but it will never happen. Fucking bitch ass nigger coming into my house and demanding to use my only good Xbox controller, you are a guest and you will get the wired gamestop brand and fucking enjoy it, don't fuck with me you, got me twisted."

OP sure. I can try. I'm older, so I don't know if aligns with your generation's trends.

But if your friends say "oh you're so stupid, and your mom's a whore!"....

reply with something like:

"Oh my mama's a whore? NOT!" Then say "Your mama's a whore, wanna know how I know? Ask my DICK!"

Soon you'll be at the top of your social pecking order. All it requires is wit, confidence, and an (real) Alpha-Personality.

I have no idea what you're going on about, and I refuse to scroll up in order to figure it out.

Just attack their insecurities with false assumptions that they will be too flustered to challenge. That's the gist of it, as far as I'm concerned.

l
like telling em they got a little dick?

You can roast yourself and then they won't have shit to say. Like Eminem in 8 mile.

Although honestly, you can only get gud with practice.

john is that you?