I need help, Sup Forums, badly

I need help, Sup Forums, badly

>be me
>be 24
>dropped out of high school at 16
>never went to college
>smoked weed every day for 8 years
>hung out with scumbags in my parents basement for that time
>held 2 jobs in 8 years at mcdonalds and walmart but got fired and banned from both for stealing money from mcdonalds ans cigarettes from wal mart
>parents kicked me out of their basement after they caught my friends doing coke off a mirror on my mother's antoque coffee table
>nowhere to go
>blew the last 20 dollars on weed earlier
>none of my friends wanna let me crash all of a sudden even after ive given them safe refuge in my home for 8 years
>in a park play tunnel
>iphone battery at 57%

What should I do? Give me the answers

You are the definition of human trash please an hero

slow down your weed habit
ask parents for forgiveness
enrol in community college and get some qualifications
quit any wasteful/self-destructive habits like smoking, hard drugs, gambling, WoW, etc
cut down on booze
exercise
it'll be hard, but it's the only way to get out of your shitty self-created situation.

he's right, do it

that's what you get for doing drugs, homie

Stop drugs, join the U.S. Army as infantry.

Document all injuries and even the most remote medical problem.

Deploy if possible, see some shit.

Get out after 4 yearrs, hit up the VA and go for a 100% disability. Live the rest of your life smoking pot as a disabled vet.

quit weed and go get some adult education
but i know that you aren't going to listen to a single answer in this thread anyways, so sage.

Stop being a nigger.

Soup kitchen then shelter.
Worry About immediate needs first OP.

French Foreign Legion.

Army aren't that desperate any more, with likely criminal convictions and a history of drug abuse they may well not let you in. Still worth a try if you're willing to sweat for it.

...

give up your bum lifestyle give up the drugs and get a job.
>i just spend my last 20$ on weed
do you even realize how that sounds?

Honestly, go to your nearest recruiter but you better be clean. If they even think for a SECOND that you've done drugs in the past you'll never be let in.

dude got to AA or NA, we will help you out brother

if you do join up, there are loads of options besides infantry. If you do something mechanical/technical you can get skills as well, plus you're just as likely to injure yourself mishandling equipment anyway so the welfare queen plan still applies if you're sufficiently low on the human trash scale to consider that as an option.

Your friends were obvioysly not your friends they were drug buddies. You cant trust druggies who steal ever. You lost your parents who were the only people who cared about you and couldnt even finish a basic education designed for students so they dont fail so they can earn cash from them. An hero

op u are 24, stop being and asshole and take advice from

Give it a month and 4 days.

Trump with a Republican backed Legislative Branch is going to dump money into the military.

He doesn't want to do shit, infantry is the way to go, most likely to deploy, can get that sweet sweet PTSD rating with hearing loss, foot and leg problems.

This is the funny thing. Our military is comprised of mostly troubled youth. Its probably a requirement but not having a ged makes you the bottom of the barrel. You have a phone with internet though so i doubt how poor you are

this is true, but with no more Iraq/A-Stan, the military will spend the extra money on massively expensive equipment projects like the F-35 and Zumwalt-class money pits (aka the destroyers that cost more than aircraft carriers). The Army's not that bothered about more 11BangBangs and the Muhreens don't have the budget for more 0311s, even though the USMC might be more up OP's street considering his obviously low intelligence levels

Either of these ones, OP

Double patricide/suicide. Why are you even asking.

don't know how things are in your house, but most people only have one dad, faggot

What you get for being a piece of shit scumbag. Now you're paying for your fuckups and it's on you and only you to turn your life around. Good luck.

What the fuck? How did we get from this scumbag op druggie onto trump's policy

Just kill yourself and make your parents proud

For some reason I thought that word just meant killing of parents. TIL. Good catch.

This. If anyone EVER joins the military in any country, go for a technical trade. Medical, chef, mechanical, electrical, signals, fucking anything.

You dont wanna be that guy who was in the military 10 years and is flipping burgers in his late 30's.

go on ETB, govt insurance, Sect 8 housing, and all the other welfare programs

You'll be rewarded for not giving a fuck, this is America after all

quads holy advice

They need to KNOW though. Front lawn or something.

...

get a shit job, learn a trade while you're doing it. trade jobs don't give a fuck if you're a shitty person as long as you get it done. plumbing, woodwork, auto shop, whatever.

stop being a loser, grow up, mostly. your parents never were hard on you but most of us didn't get to leech off of other people, nothing comes for free. you need to realize anything oy get for free is stealing from other ppls hard ass work and start being self sufficient. you'll feel better once you do and start earning the good things in your life w hard work

the army's probably your best bet right now, theyre likely the only ones who'll take you in. but whatever you do, ditch the weed habit and ditch your friends. you're too old to this much of useless shithead.

Youre a waste of air. Piece of shit. That is whining because you are to much of a lazy asshole to get out and do work. Fuck you!!! Live a bullshit life and maybe you will start appreciating what people have done for you.

well firstly, you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself, everything that has happened to you so far has been your own doing and you need to fucking deal with that