Hey Sup Forums rate my poem:

Hey Sup Forums rate my poem:

> This world rejects me
> This world threw me away
> This world never gave me a chance
> This world gonna have to pay

Well what do you think?

action is better than words

crap

I love it, it's awesome

sounds like a faggot wrote it

Add 4-6 more lines and you have an entire Drake song. Drake sucks and so do you.

Yeah except Trent Reznor wrote it you piece of SHIIIIIT

test post, do not reply, I repeat, do not reply

Ready for Linkin Park

Hi I'm op and I'm gay

oh so you fags think Nine Inch Nails is gay huh?

Then quit stealing his lyrics you piece of SHIIIIT

>implying the world reached a consensus regarding you
>implying anyone, much less the everyone in the world, gives a shit
>implying you are capable of causing anything good or bad on a global scale
>writing a poem at all... so fucking gay

>your poem sucked
>what?Encore
>well if you want more
>id write more but have to do my chores

It's not one of his best songs.

Doesn't appear to have taken much time, thought, or creativity to come up with.

Like most 9 inch nails songs

poems are like dreams
everybody has them
nobody cares about yours

poetry is 'powerful speech'

the power in poetry is the power to energize the listener with your message.

i'm left understanding your sense of alienation, betrayal, and intent on revenge, but I don't really understand anything about your interior experience. this reads like an abstract description, not a personal revelation.

C-

>gonna have to
Illiterate nigger detected

greentext the story, and I'll write a poem that connects
if you do it quickly

then you might get what to do next time
If you are too slow, I will be gone

Awful.

fuck off Pedro

How'd you know my name, cletus.

What else is there to understand? Society has fucked me in the ass and has made me into the bitter, resentful human being I am today.

satanic trips Cek'd

cuz you type like a fucking messican

2edgy5me
>this world gonna have to pay
>OP is actually pretty gay.

You got me.

also chekd

in order to reach the listener, the story must relate in a more personal way......less abstract...
something of your desire or expectation, or an incident that completely describes your disposition, when parsed into the simplest re-expression using words that people easily understand...

your language was that kind, but the word choice is abstract... like a "see dick run, run dick run" story, objective, not a shred of empathy possible

only people who already feel like you feel will get your abstract form....but then....that might be what you want...

I don't really know how to relate it to more people since most people are treated like normal human beings. I don't know what I can say.

Trent pls go

why not make it about how difficult it is having such a little dick in this world. Then it would at least be interesting and funny.

checked

and what you say is "The Truth"
if you have any sense of unworthiness or grandiosity, this might be hard to do....but it is what is necessary....the ugly and beautiful truth.

easy approach. close your eyes and take a breath....

imagine a recent time when you felt rejected, betrayed, judged.....what was the place? who was there ? answer these questions to your self..... how did you feel....in your body.

in your body, what was the color and shape, and soud of your feelings, as if it were something.....describe that something in sensory and physical terms....

Imagine the time you had these feelings and sensations and consciousness of that thing in your body....when the experience, feelings, sensation was strongest.

tell the story of that time and place and people, in detail, write it down, or memorize it.

use the experience of that scene to choose the words and phrases for some writing....

it might be a poem on the first try, or the 22nd try....

good luck

is what i think

Okay. I'll try it. Thanks.

how about being constructive.

it would be too short (no pun intended)

at least I got SOME constructive criticism. Fuck the rest of yall.

cheers m8
if it doesn't work for you.....
there's no right or wrong way to write a poem
as long as it doesn't suck

How's mine op

>Crawling in my skin
>These wounds, they will not heal
>Fear is how I fall
>Confusing what is real

Rate mine

Roses are red
violets are blue
I'll fuck you with a rake

Godawful

that's literally the gayest shit i've ever read.

gaylord faggot

urak-hai, my heart corrupts --
in the mud and blood whence from
your lord of dark wills you erupt
and yet my memories still come

to an image, faded, gray
ages now it's kept away
your fang'd face, your buxom lips
the semen dribb'lin down your tits

oh! urak-hai my little sweet
please do not your true love eat

urak-hai, my heart corrupts --
in the mud and blood whence from
your lord of dark wills you erupt
and yet my memories still come

to an image, faded, gray
ages now it's kept away
your fang'd face, your buxom lips
the semen dribb'lin down your tits

oh! urak-hai my little sweet
please do not your true love eat
and so I lay me down to sleep

R8 my pome

I think I just got cut by that edge

you disgust me

>I wanna be with you
>I wanna steal you
>I wanna feel you
>But I can't see you

>I want to be with you
>I'm going to steal you
>I want to feel you
>But I can't see you
* better

did i kill the thread?

School shooter/10

Fuck off bitch. I'm coming for you first

the first 2 words the same all the time
thats fucking shite in a poem its a crime
my rhyming's sublime, your bars are like grime
fucking fake and a waste of our time

nostalgia/10

penis size rank