Porn isn't doing it anymore for me, and im to much of a beta-virgin to get laid

Porn isn't doing it anymore for me, and im to much of a beta-virgin to get laid.
What do?

go gay

floor tiles

kys

I have absolutely zero attraction to men, this is not a plausible solution.

Do what I'm going to do and kill yourself. Unless you make a good living, then keep doing what your doing. Successful people don't need other people on their side.

zazzle.

do what china does and photo shop it to your preferences

Then you haven't found the right trap, faggot.

I think about it everyday, but i haven't been able to work up the courage to do it yet, to much of a pussy.

Have you tried a pocket pussy?

Go gay, OP, not stay gay.

Get a dog, call a Russian mobster a bitch when he tries to buy your car

inb4op reveals he's a god damn pedo and finally kills himself
unrelated comment; I'm fairly certain i've outlined the same fucking stop sign like 10 times now. fucking captcha

Find a gamma chick

Pick up a hobby, look up a local folk school and take a class in something crafty. It wont do much for the porn thing, but you'll feel like less of a failure.

You all don't understand, i would accept a life of abstinence before i ever decided to be gay. Im not attracted to men in the slightest. This shit is really eating at me does anyone have good advice?

Stop fapping for a while.

You'll want to jerk off eventually.

No not a pedo im just a guy who wants to have sex with females.
Its not about feeling like a failure, ive been alone all my life and just want sex.

You have no idea if you're attracted to men until you let a guy blow you. right now you're just trapped in your little bubble of heteronormativity. get some random guy to let you blow your load on his uvula and we'll see how not gay you really are.

Just stop giving a shit. I'm a virgin at 27 and my life got a lot easier when I stopped caring about being alone. Just embrace it. All of your time belongs to you. Enjoy it.

>Convert to Islam
>purchase 9 year old bride
>problem solved

If you just want sex then get a hooker.

I wish i could, but i know i would kill myself or do something extreme before i could accept it. It eats at me everyday and i cant take it anymore.

>i would accept
>gay
>shit
>i would accept
>gay
>shit
>i would accept
>gay
>shit

I don't usually give real advice on here, but just this once: Real advice, stop staying up so late, and maybe get some exercise. You'll feel better.

Get more visceral with it bro.
hang yaself while yer beatin it.
Maybe a punch to the balls.
car battery to the nips

the reason i suggested feeling like less of a failure is because women can usually tell when you feel like a failure. you want a chick you need to make yourself at least quasi-desirable, then go find a bitch. it's really not that hard. there are women out there just as stupid as you.

It's time for you to join a monastery.

Try shitting yourself. Maybe it will turn you on. you could also try out public masturbation.

This
fuck off, op. you're fucking pathetic and what's worse is no one gives a shit.

I can't take this shit it controls me everyday, its the reason im so depressed, ill never be socially accepted or loved.
Fuck it
Suicide thread?
EZ ways to end things?

OP
>porn doesn't work anymore
user
>try this ever increasing list of unlikely and horrible fetishes until it does
I really do love it here.

Yeah OP, stomp on frogs and shove a crowbar up your nose. Cut your dick off while fapping with sriracha.

masturbate to death

...

>TFW $50 in wallet
>TFW not enough money to painlessly end things

Panhandle. Or pick bottles. $50 is not an absurd amount of money. I'm going to find an empty hospital room and do it there. That way I'm not going to be found by a random or rot in a ditch somewhere.

Stop jacking off. You'll build up some confidence to actually talk to a female. It can snowball from there til you're actually normal.

Go suck a clown's dick. I'm sure he'll pay you in helium.