Ok Sup Forums i need a little of advice

Ok Sup Forums i need a little of advice.

I am probably a bit older than some of you and i live what i would consider a rather successful life yet i am plagued by a fear.

I have never been one for psychology but i found that i fit most traits that fall inline with a cereal killer. Not all of them like i wasn't abused as a child or wet the bed, but i love voyeur, i love weapons, and, being in a red state, i love to kill animals.

That is what troubles me the most. I live in a developed part of town and there are cats everywhere, and i trapped one about 4 or 5 months ago. My intent was to turn it back into the animal shelter but it scratched me, so i hit it. It felt so good to hit the animal. I don't know what came over me but i hit the animal again and felt the same pleasure. The more i hit the animal the better i felt. I am a fairly large male and it got to the point where i stuck the animal hard enough that i broke it's jaw.

In the state i live in cats are considered vermin and you are allowed to kill them if they are on your property, though i doubt that beating them to a pulp is legal. I put the animal in a box, drove out to the country, and put a bullet in it's head.

I was scared at the time but now i see the trap in my garage every time i go to work thinking it would be easy to catch another cat. It would be easy to feel that pleasure again.

Normally i am a pretty good guy. I volunteer a lot with kids and elderly, donate blood, work with the community and i even go to church.

I feel i am a monster. I know what i did wasn't right but it felt so good and i am afraid that the temptation to do it again will drive me to commit another atrocity like before.

I would be grateful for any help on the matter.

Please get help. Animal abuse is a sign of sadistic sociopathy. Abusing animals that are essentially innocently acting on instinct is a truly cruel act. Please talk to a counselor about these feelings and/or a pastor (whom would be protected from disclosing your confession by law).

Thank you, i will.

The fact that you feel guilt is a positive sign. True sociopathic individuals would not really pick up on a sense of guilt as much as a sense of "getting caught" and/or punished.

Make an active choice accompanied with real behavioral action to get clear of these feelings, both the guilt and the negative impulses.

>plagued by fear
>troubles me
>i was scared
>i am afraid

You seem to indeed possess some psychopathic traits, yet not precisely one of a serial killer, whom all tend to be almost textbook in regards to their own specific traits and overall demeanor. Fear and unease - it is mentioned quite frequently in what you wrote; and is the distinction between you personally and a full-fledged psychopathic individual. They do not feel any type of remorse whatsoever - not even a mere sliver of fear, or guilt. Cold, lacking morals (speaking of morals - you make it clear that you are aware that what it is you are doing is, by societal standards, considered "wrong"; serial killers disregard the thought of moral immediately and do as they please) - emotionless would be a bland understatement to describe that part of the psyche which makes an average human being "human" as far as having emotion properly integrated into their mind.

I could proceed to delve in further on the various aspects of ruthless murderers, but it would further stray away on the simple, blunt advice I intended to offering to you since the beginning: seek psychological help. The acknowledgment and inner turmoil of an issue is there - it is up to you on whether or not you will continue to feed that monster or starve it to death.

>cereal killer

bruh

>cereal killer
Is that you Count Chocula?

Kill yourself

Thank you.

I know that if i were to walk in on myself doing this or someone else doing this then i would stop them. I find that i am torn between knowing what i did was wrong and the joy i felt from doing it.

My phone's auto correct lives in a much kinder world than i do.

>cereal killer
I stoped reading there.

>church
Luke 12:6 Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God.

>I am probably a bit older than some of you
You're not older than me and, from your post, you're still mentally a wanabee sociopath 12-yo. Just grow the fuck up

Well you have Not killed any human so you are no killer

47, manager of the Technical Operations Center at EchoStar LLC. I manage people who watch TV for a living. I am married and have 3 children.

>You're not older than me
Confirmed. The rest of my post still applies.

I could point out the stupidity of trying to "prove" your age, marital status or indeed anything on an anonymous image board, but the subtlety would be lost on you.

My original conclusion still applies - grow the fuck up.

Fuck off - nypa, faggot

Ok then, thanks for the advice.

>cereal killer

stopped reading over here

Screencap of this thread on its way to Paul Bellotti via his Linkedin account.

If he's not your direct manager he'll know who you are from your description. I've cautioned him that this might be an attempt to traduce an employee by a disgruntled associate, but the symptoms of sociopathy described herein make an investigation worthwhile.

I don't trust people that harm animals for fun.They have a distinct glare that sends the chill of death.

forgot pic

oh shit.

Cereal has no feelings. You can unleash a beast within and kill it at your own leisure.

We are civilized humans. It is your duty to keep your urges in check. Seek help.

Few people manage to ruin their own lives without having many opportunities to to save them. It's an easy mistake to make, to think that one small mistake or failure should lead you to more that you may not be able to recover from. I think a lot of people invest further into small mistakes once they start making them rather than learning to accept what they have done, and make a change at their own expense for the sake of their future.

I've gotten so many people arrested and listened to all of their stories. Almost every single one of them could (with prompting) recall some moment of their life like what you have described when they knew they were wrong and chose to double-down on that mistake rather than muster the courage and strength to prevent themselves from repeating those mistakes. You have three kids? Do for yourself what you would have them do.

I suspect OP has left and, if it really was a manager at Echostar, he's probably regretting he can't delete old posts and crying to himself