Current song/album

>current song/album
>current feel

pic related

bored and anxious

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youtube.com/watch?v=_teiQfEFD8M
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Oh shit me too

>souvenir
>I want to kill myself

Souvenir is such a great song. Hemlock's verse is so good

>Silkk da Shocka
>quit smoking 3 days ago, not sure how i feel, jittery i guess

Bump :(

Good taste, non

LA Vampires - Supercool
I'm podering on why no one seems to stick around, i want to truly know someone but they all lose interest in me so fast, i think i have enough thinks to talk about, maybe it's my delivery? I know i'm anxious and clumsy and that's not attractive but i try, i really do. Romantically, maybe i don't take enough chances out of crippling fear of rejection or maybe i give too much too fast and when people know they can have something they no longer want it. I'm so tired of everything. I have so much to give. I don't need people if i needed them i wouldn't have lasted this long being so lonely but i think it's time i try and make connections maybe even find a partner but i can't do it, i'm not good at it, you are supposed to get better after you fuck up but i keep fucking up and fucking up and it doesn't get better.

i meant pondering obviously

>Onward the Indian / The Black Babies
>Worried

>Ween - Quebec - The Argus
>getting drunk and bored before the snow comes, why didn't Ween make more songs like The Argues, it's really good

i have a psychologist appointment around may but i dont think i can make it to that point

>nyily
>studying for final exams so anxious and tired

>current song/album
pic related
>current feel
thinking about the most effective way to kill myself in terms of making a statement. i think dousing myself in gasoline and smoking one last cigarette in the center of town would be the way to go.

what statement are you trying to make

i want to permanently damage everybody that has ever known me, forever, to the point that they cannot function in their day to day lives

obviously killing myself may not be the best way to do this, considering people probably just get over it in a few years anyway. it needs to be more personal, but I can't affect everybody I know on a level that personal with a suicide. i'd have to take something away from them.

Bad reason, and way, to kill yourself. If you want out just go. Do it away from people where no one will be traumatized, suicide is a right but you do it because of you not because of other people.

a girl im seeing called me earlier, and when she had to go she said she loved me for the first time

she got home a few hours ago, called me back and told me she didnt mean it

...

>Do it away from people where no one will be traumatized
why??? if i go out i'll do whatever the fuck i want to whoever i feel like, what's there to stop me at that point? i want to inspire suicides en masse. I live in a small town, i can make it happen. that's my motivation.

this hurt me user

i feel for you

thanks guys, i love u both

i dont want this to fuck the relationship over

pic related
nostalgic for the 2015

man, i hate to tell you this because we're both posting in a feels thread on Sup Forums and we both listen to emo/screamo and from this i can gauge that we are at least slightly similar people, but that's not a great sign. hopefully you can work things out.

Currently watching a bunch of old Beatles videos
It's a weird feel. The 60's look so innocent and happy compared to nowadays, even though they were full of strife. Kinda saddening to think that we're unlikely to have a great pop culture icon like them in our lifetime.

>4:40
>lying in bed clothes on
>been like this for 3 hours

Stressful

Nodding, getting them good itches

mad jealous

feels good mang

well originally i thought i was ok but now i guess the music is sinking in, and reading these isnt helping with the feels. im so tired and worn down, and loving every second of it there must be something wrong with me.

Drinking some valerian tea and watching the partially full moon through the window

>Built to Spill - Velvet Walks
>High and lonely. Watching the snow.

Oh... that's fucking harsh. I'm so sorry user.

Listening to The Hollies - Carrie Anne

Feeling a mixed bag of feels. There was a girl who was in my group of friends a while back. I had a huge crush on her, but she'd just play games and flirt with me heavily and then backtrack and say she didn't mean it. Everyone else in the group thought she liked me though, and they knew I liked her. But every time I'd approach her, she'd flirt and then back away. I thought she was playing hard to get until I saw her hook up with my friend's brother. I had a nervous breakdown that night. Despite what the doctors at the psych ward told me, I thought I could repair our friendship and hung out with her again. I told her explicitly to either stop flirting with me (if she didn't mean what she was saying/doing), or if she did, to just get to the point and go out with me. She said she'd stop flirting. I was fine with that... until she started doing it again.

Side note: I was diagnosed with psychosis not otherwise specified a while back, and recently (since November) the symptoms have started to go into schizophrenic territory. The doctors told me to wait a few more months before they can officially make a call and say if I'm fully schizophrenic or not.

Anyway, back to the story. In December, right after Christmas, I found out she was dating this guy I knew from my high school days who was a total dick to everyone he met. I tried telling her as a warning, but she insisted that they would make a good couple. Then she asked me, "user, do you love me?" and I said "Yeah." and she said "Listen, you're my friend. One of my closest friends. But your mental health won't improve as long as you know me. So I'm going to block you and make sure you can't talk to me ever again. Cold turkey. It's the only way for me to help make sure you don't have another mental breakdown." I told her, "I love you." She hung up.

That was the last time I ever spoke to her, though I do hear her voice in my head a lot.

So I guess,
>tfw I still love her.

>Bring the whispering words I thought that I heard,
>bring me the wound with no healing or cause
>Bring me the tongue that you put in my mouth,
>and bring me the pain and the junk in my lungs.
>Tell me you love me but not very much
>Don't bother with reasons, just go
>Just leave me alone

>Built to Spill - Velvet Waltz
>High and lonely. Watching the snow.

Oh... that's fucking harsh. I'm so sorry user

It's extremely hard to find good friends, man. I have a few great ones but it's been a good six or seven years since I made a new one. There is no definite way to do it. It just happens or it doesn't. Don't give up.

i can relate. things'll get better or maybe they won't. either way im praying for you.

Damn dude you're so bad ASS

I bet Scott Hull would think you're so damn cool

There probably aren't too many 14 year olds listening to Pig Destroyer

A few weeks ago, I briefly stopped enjoying music, which is my only hobby. It was really shitty and scared me enough to improve my health and get a job. I'm nervous about the lifestyle change, but browsing Sup Forums and generally feeling miserable isn't really living.

Pic related.

Wishing I was at a Holi festival rn.

Thoughtful contemplation. My girlfriend's spring break just got over so she's back at school, 8 hours away.

depressed and angry because the only time i've ever had friends was 2nd grade

>Phish - Twist (12-31-1999 Big Cypress)
Oddly confident. Full of desire to make music. A bit tipsy.
The Argus is one of my favorite Ween songs, those last 2 minutes are absolutely stunning

I just got home from class, and I realized I don't actually want a girlfriend, or any sort of human relationship. It's too much effort to have to keep satisfying people, I've never met someone I can truly be myself around. Also I feel like suicide is a real possibility soon, life is so tiring. At least I have music to get me through it.

Just one appointment? I doubt a psychologist can solve barely any of your problems at that point, and they can't even prescribe medication. But most psychiatrists won't prescribe medication on the first appointment either. Hope you manage to hold on till May though. At that point summer is almost there, and at least personally, I feel better during the summer.
If you want to damage those you love kill yourself without leaving a note or having your body ever be found. Not knowing why you did it will haunt them forever.
2015 was one of the better years I think of this decade. Personal favorite was 2012 though.
Sounds very comfy, I love Valerian tea and I love Mayhem. Good taste.
I still remember my friends in grade 2. Getting to know people was so much easier as a child. I truly hope you find some new friends soon.

dump her, it will make college 10x more enjoyable.

sexxy

Lol, I would hate you

Usually finals are in May my dude

>Tortoise - Djed

Got off work an hour ago, 3 coffee stouts deep and smoking a shitty gas station E-cig I just bought.

Nothing to do tomorrow, probably will stay up late and make some ambient shit on Ableton. Feeling p good bros.

>medication
>cold

>coolfonts.com

Portraits of the Past- 0011001010001
Implications of a Sinkhole Personality

>tfw no gf

youtube.com/watch?v=_teiQfEFD8M

Creatively frustrated. (writing, not music.)

bump

Bang yr head