hi Sup Forums
i feel a bit depressed.
i was a tanker in the army and got kicked off because i tried to commit suicide.
i build stages for living, have 1500 $ debt and don't know what to do with my life, anybody want to help me get my life in order?
it's winter so my company doesn't give me that much work and i am not sure how i am going to pay my rent in a couple of months.
i am breaking down slowly.
help.
Bumping for op
AMA
>pic related, is my kind of a shitty work.
Finish the job. Godspeed
OP I have no idea how to help but i'll bump for ya
Lionbridge, easy work from home 20h/week = 600€
Hope it helps!
what do you mean? kill myself?
life even took that will out of me.
i am only 22 years old and live with two roommates in some mid shitty apartment.
i got no inspiration or ideas of what i want of my self in this world.
have girlfriend that i love, that's pretty nice i might say.
>here's a picture of a panzer tank
more info about this please.
How can we help man?
Why did you try to commit suicide?
What's your end goal in life? What do you think your actions in life will amount to once you're dead?
depression since the age of 12, dysthymia, depression, you call it whatever you want.
life was shitty on me most of the time.
i don't know and i don't know.
>here's some quality tits for the ones of you who care a bit.
What do you mean you don't know? I can understand if you don't have a passion, but you obviously have to have a stance on whether or not you believe your actions have an impact to anything.
What kind of thoughts do you have that lead you into depression?
mostly my life circumstances, parents fucked up, dad abandoned when i was about that age(12) and left me and my mom to struggle with insane debts to the black market and the banks.
always moved from place to place from city to another, don't have car nor apartment, mom locked me up in a psych ward when i was 13(tried to jump off 4th floor), was in the ward for 8 months.
i feel like i am just some kind of a living creature on earth, nothing more to it.
>only 1500$ debt
Easy to take care of.
At some point you will sell yourself to a bank to finance something, debt just becomes a habitual way of affording the necessities in life.
Get a full time job and you can pay it off in no time
Come on. Keep going op. Spill it all out.
Everyone has these problems
There isn't a person I know whose life wasn't compromised by a shitty family that was far off the television example.
Parents let the doctor do some fancy circumcision nonsense and I have 0 feeling my dick. You just have been taught by the neglect of your parents that these suicidal freak outs are the only way to get help or attention
well i kind of accept it already that my life(or as i see it) will mostly never be happy.
i just see the dark things and the downsides of most things.
to be honest i am afraid of the world, what will be with it, with people that i love.
Well, firstly, all of this stems from your belief that you are just a living creature. You need something to center your life around, or you'll only end up killing yourself in the end of it all. Find something that you take interest to and make it your hobby. If you don't immediately know of that one thing, then you'll have to go out of your way to look for it. It could take months to find, but if you're patient enough, you'll definitely find something you can truly put value into your life with.
It sounds like you need to see a therapist in order to get over the trauma that you've experienced. Sure, bad things have happened to you, but none of them is your fault except for the psych ward. There's no reason to be afraid of calling out to someone that you need help. You're capable of making this thread on Sup Forums, so why not take the other step forward and find help in real life?
Just google it, 600/month btw not weekly.
Nice tits
Nice trips
Hang in there bud
it's funny but i think no one can help, it's like part of me.
...
Goddamnit OP i'm so mad you haven't killed yourself yet
What the fuck are you waiting for? An invitation? I'd kill myself but i'm too scared to do it. But you, you're mentally unstable. You could easily get yourself riled up enough to kill yourself. My advice, my honest advice, is to think about how horrible your life is, and think about it so much you get mentally unstable just a lil bit. And then start yelling a little. Not like a lot, just a little. And that'll make you want to yell some more. And get crazier. AND CRAZIER. AND THEN YOU GO TO THAT BOTTLE OF PILLS AND YOU THROW YOUR HEAD BACK AND YOU SWALLOW ALL OF THEM
And then lay back and enjoy the ride to eternal slumber.
I'm surprised at this but then again I remember in the UK, winter is the biggest point for stage work.
All I can say man is that it sucks, it fucking sucks hard and I can't relate but I can sympathise.
You need to take a long hard look at yourself and think 'What would make me happy', you say you don't know and I think a part of you does know.
You have to have that heart wrenching real soul searching moment of 'What the fuck do I want?!' and go from there. There will be rejection, there will be hardships and there will be obstacles.
The most important thing to know though is that you CAN be happy. You DESERVE to be happy.
You need to understand that first, really believe that. Then think about it, what is it you want? What do you want to do?
Your rent problem is going to be shitty, you might need to work extra jobs or such. It's shit, I won't lie. But from there, once you have your debt sorted, move onto your goals, move on to the thing that will make you happy.
Work your ass off on it, make it something that will be financially viable too and then hopefully you'll find the piece of yourself that was missing.
You won't always be happy, mental illnesses are a thing that won't allow that but what you can be is know that you can be in a good place and for the most part you will realize you ARE happy.
It's a long road, but we're with you Sup Forumsrother.
I'll drink to you on the first step of many.
If you believe that no one can help you, you're delusional. Almost everyone can help you in some way, you just have to be willing to accept their help.
The only way you can fix yourself is by taking the first step to help. If you can't do that, then you're beyond saving and you're only wasting your time making threads on Sup Forums. Clearly, you're not, as you're capable of responding to the people here, so just go ahead and ask a therapist to help you. They'll be more helpful than people on the internet, since they'll know you personally and physically.
op just kys and pimp out yo gf to repay yo debts
that's exactly what i did in the army.
i most likely will not an hero, ofc not hurting anybody else aswell.
life took the out the will of kys.
that's a bit cheering i guess.
thanks.
i'll put some mind into it i guess.
i forgot to mention that some lads of my platoon died during fighting.
have seen some pretty bad injuries at the tanks as well, people losing their hands/fingers/legs.
the army sure thing didn't do any grace with me.
>here's more quality tits for you
Please do think about it. Everyone here is rooting on you, dude.
You can always change and outgrow these bad things.
It sounds like you have taken these experiences and used them to make up some Mystical Identity where you obligate yourself to behave and react in certain ways but then reward yourself for being 'unique' and different from otherschool.
Next time you feel like describing yourself, even in your own thoughts, as a psychotic nobody; instead place a different identity. Like a Goku or a Superman
i am not really unique, how did you came up with that idea?
just come here to share and ask for advice.
believe i am not psychotic as well.
You said your problems were a part of you.
Pretty much the basis of my entire post
well not exactly, let me correct myself, it's like i learned to live with it, with my mental state and i accept it.
Learning to live with adversity is fine.
I just don't want you to define yourself by being some sort of mental failure and sabotaging yourself to fit that flawed ideal
well i guess i don't want to really suffer.
well since death isn't and option anymore so maybe i can somehow live out this entire life, with or without meaning.
i just don't know what's next.
why not talk to her about it?
this is /b and it's the last place you should go searching for good advices. btw I'm depressed and we'll never meet each other, so I may as well dedicate ten minutes of my typing on my mobile.
I'm currently lying in my bad, just jacked out. I'm 30. I'm currently employed in a data entry job, full time, I make like 1300€ p/m plus benefits. like ill periods and payed vacancies.
It sucks. Being comfortable switches you off. I don't have any purpose in life. In 4 hours I'll be in my car doing my commute, then I'll be in my office from 9a.m. till 18 p.m. alternating myself in binge-working sessions of a couple of hours, and some random times waiting for more work to come, surrounded by idiots. You don't know true depression until you're not doing office life, mate, I guarantee it. I dumped my ex gf like a week ago. She didnt deserve to be with a constatly sad maggot like I feel I am right now. I'm quite good looking. Soon I wont even be decent enough to find another one. Yesterday I snorted coke. Two days ago I went full booze and vomited all night. 2 days of idiotic frantic fun, 5 days of absolute boredom. I ENVY you. You have to stand up and fight. I gave up already. And I can't even go an hero too soon. Mother, father and sister would die of pain, and they also need part of my money.
I envy you.
actually i try, she's very helpful but we live in different cities so it's hard to maintain our relationship on regular basis, we meet on weekends most of the times.
are you IATSE by chance OP
no, stage design group. a shitty little local semi international company.