We need a greentext story thread in here

We need a greentext story thread in here.

Other urls found in this thread:

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rogue_planet
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

bump

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I have some from the last thread

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Is that from a song or some shit?

>be me 4 years ago
>9th grade
>Walk to school everyday because I don't live very far
>One day I pass a man sitting on a bench
>Wave to him, he waves back
>Continue walking to school
>Pass by him every day for the next few months
>One day I pass by and he's not there
>Don't think much of it and continue walk
>He returns about a week later looking a bit worn
>Decide not to make a big deal about it
>Business as usual for another month
>Walking by one day
>He looks like he's gotten much worse
>I decide to talk to him and ask if he's okay
>He tells me that he has Stage 4 Lung Cancer and needs money for an operation
>I ask how much he needs
>Tree fiddy
>Realize that he isn't a man on a bench, but is, in fact, an 8 story tall crustacean from the Paleozoic era
>Mfw the Loch Ness monster tricked me again

It is, but i dont the song

its "Call Me Maybe" by Carly Rae Jepson kek

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I know most greentext stories are false, but holy kek

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I want to believe

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i hate you.

Nice story

Fucking kek

screencapped this from a thread in Sup Forums yesterday. figured it needs to be shared with the world.

>you wont laugh if you don't know who Paul Watson is

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>Be me 32 years old,
>Solid 7/10
>Hot 10/10 qt3.14 comes up to me
>"Hey user"
>"Hey"

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MDMA wouldn't make anyone do that. just putting that out there

bump

i think this story literally just gave me diarrhea

NO YOURE WRONG ITS REAL LIFE I WAS THERE

If you've got time and like abandoned places, this one's worth the read.

Holy shit, kek

>this

Fuck

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I have never kek'd so hard in my life

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bumperino

pure kekkels

i love awkward moments

bumpery bump bump

fake and gay
that's not how acid works

Holy fuck

Good read, OC?

Okay I got one
> In grade 9
>Halloween-ish time, at school
>wearing thick leather coat and Jason mask
>put mask in locker look for shit to do because roam around look for events whatever
> haunted house in old drama room
>why not ?
> get in common darkness kids in costume
>nothing out of the ordinary for a haunted house
> close to end after being mildly lost
>strobe light
> can only see for flashes at a time
>hear some yell
>AAAAH ZOMBIES!
>while two kids fucking rush me
>I panic start swinging
>first kid graze his skull
>hear a faggot like OH! and a thud
>second dude doges and pushes me
>I book outa there after getting up
>heard kid had a seizure like reaction afterwards
>fuck

*Curiosity intensifies*

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damn wasted my one fallout image

I need the possum story. I cant find it anywhere.

Well I might have the thing for you then
> Been living with GF for a few months
> Move my shit in, including my Malamute bro
> Go to work, boss tells me that I earned some extra time off because I possibly spared them a lot of money by catching a chink visitor with 50+ photos of our patented products.
> Come home early
> Hear music blasting, and oddly familiar notification sounds
> Coming in the living room
> See GF half-naked sucking on my dog, in front of a webcam
> We both stay confused for a moment
> GF starts to try to explain with "It's not what you think"
> Except it fucking is
> Realise there's a reason she's good friends with a stable owner
> Realize I've been cucked by a dozen horses and probably my fucking dog too
> Dog bro has a goofy expression on his face all along
> Flip my shit and bolt out of our house, get back to my father's place for a week
> Get call from GF telling me that she has a "surprise"
> There we go, she'll dump my ass
> It was a fucking US-imported Ford Mustang
> Told me that she makes about 8k a month with streams only, on top of her part-time nurse job
> I'm such a cuck we got back together and I fuck her during her streams
> tfw she makes 3 times more money than me just by streaming a few hours a day

I don't know who paul watson is.

>this isnt very funny

General description? I might have it

I will screencap this user, good story

Always laugh my ass off at Crowbro's story.

cute dog user , also, my old dog was part alaskan malamute , was mixed with german shepard and golden retriever

Guy beats the shit out of a possum after his dog fights it or something. Realises possums play dead and his dog only put a scratch on it after he caved it's head in.

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wow

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shit

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>be me
>have a crippling fear of death
>everytime i think about my inevitable demise, i practically start to hyperventilate
>try to calm myself by thinking about afterlife
>"death is an eternal, dreamless sleep"
>begin to think about death everytime I try to go to sleep
>acquire slight insomnia
>fml

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fucking kill me i forgot to crop it

weeb

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Does it bother you that every time you lay down to sleep it could be your last moment alive and there's nothing you can do about it?

exactly

There are so many things that could lead to sudden global extinction and we can't do anything about it:
> Xboxhueg meteorite collision
> Solar flare
> Pulsar flare (Or whatever beam of energy is ejected from pulsars)
> Collision with one of the billions stray planets in our surroundings
> Black hole (We litterally wouldn't see it coming)

And that's just a few examples of how things could go wrong with celestial objects.

You also cant smoke it.
People thinking weed being laced are retarded most drugs they think its laced with can not be smoked like that and will actually be destroyed by dirext heat

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A dealer I knew once started to give me methadone or ketamin-loaded hash. I can't remember the name of the added chemicals, but it's mainly used by heroin addicts to stop taking heroin.
That fucker sold it to me like regular hash for 2 months, and then started to try to sell me heroin.
Maybe he's talking about that kind of drug.

nigger theres seven other planets surrounding us not billions

>"they never used to kill you know"
>"they used to be scared"
Fuck dude

remind me to give respect to ruskies for fighting zombies

in our solar system aye but our current galaxy among the many that litter the universe who knows

do you know how far away the nearest star is?
4 lightyears. Do you know how far that is?
FUCKING FAR. I'm pretty sure we're fine on that front.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rogue_planet
Read a bit about what surrounds us, it's pretty interesting, and a bit frightening.

same fag here. Also though one thing stood out to me , if he knew what happened and they all got guns, user should not have had the chance to tell that story . Governments and military keep shit like that locked tight . How was user not shot ? inb4 faggot believed the story hur dur

still pretty spooky.