two Californian mans is walk along dust road

> two Californian mans is walk along dust road.
> first Californian turn to second Californian, "I am the hungry."
> second California say to first Californian, "I trade you my almond for favor. I am of thirst."
> first Californian very sad. "I have taken hormone, I cannot trade you almond."
> second Californian, "Is ok, I not have almond either. Only pronouns."

wot

> two californians look at clouds
> one see almond
> other see impossible dream
> is same cloud

I like this thread.

> Man and woman sit close on bench to protect from dust.
> Woman ask "what you like more, me or almond?"
> Man answer "you".
> Woman angry for using wrong pronoun.

bumping for intrest

> California man hear rumours of activated almond.
> Is like almond, but activated, so say rumours.
> Rumours spread all over California.
> Sacramento say is capitalist lie.
> California man thinking much about activated almond rumour.
> If Sacramento say is lie, surely must be?
> Man thinking when he trip on something on road.
> Is almond, but is not colour of normal almond.
> Man thinks is activated almond.
> Man is excite.
> Man take bite of almond.
> Is dust.
> Man hallucinate from hormones.
> Man excite turn to dark sadness.
> Man grab dust, found new pronoun.
> In last moments, xer realize is activatedest almond of all.

deciphering it is entertaining

> Californian man come home and is see wife naked with other man.
> Californian man weep and demand who is he?
> Wife say "Who you are talk about? Is no man here. You are using wrong pronoun."
> Californian man laugh.
> Meanwhile naked paco begin crawl to door but is dehydrate before can finish sneak out.
> In morning Californian man find corpse and use for make breakfast.
> Wife begin set table.
> Californian man say "What you are doing?
> Is no food here. You are hallucinate from hormone."
> All food eat by Californian man as wife's son sob.
> Gentlemans, you are take lesson?

enlighten us master

> Father say to son "I have good news and bad news"
> Son ask "what bad news?"
> Father say "Sacramento come in night. Take alimony for mother."
> Son begin cry, ask father "Then what good news?"
> Father say "Your tear make almond salty, good flavor."
> "But father," son say, "there no almond, paco is real father."
> All is sad.

As a Californian i agree

This is best thread. Bump!

> Three Californians is walk into bar.
> First man say, "Give me water."
> Bartender says is no water.
> Second man say, "Give me water."
> Bartender say is no water.
> Third man say "Give me water."
> Bartender say is no water.
> Is no water. Only dust.

The broken english is making my Albanian professor the narrator.

> One day, God appear to poor Californian man and say
> "I know there is no almond in land of California, but I will give you much almond if you do one thing for me."
> Californian Man reply "Of course I will do anything for almond"
> So God say "Give son pronoun and I will give you all almond"
> Californian man is happy to end suffering for wife's son in exchange for almond.
> So Californian man give wife's son hormone and return to God for reward.
> But Californian man is dehydrated and have hallucination.
> No God. No son. No almond. Is dust.

This thread is beauty absolute.

> Two Californian are in travel to Portland for escape bleak heat-of-summer.
> One Californian is in cart while his friend is pull.
> Many hour go by.
> Californian pulling fall and break foot on rock.
> “I am hurt foot! I am hurt foot!” he screams, but cries get no answer.
> Man in cart has been transitioned long ago.

I will remember this sad story until the day I die.

kant? that you buddy?

rolling for quints

> Sacramento commissar comes to farm.
> Asks humble Californian farmer how grows almonds.
> “Oh Comrade Commissar, bountiful is California harvest. Pile of all California almonds will reach foot of God,” says humble Californian farmer of almond.
> “But Comrade Farmer,” says commissar, “In People's California is no God.”
> “No worry. In California is no almond, either”.

MODS archive pls

Bippity bump

>yabba dabba doo

>you smell like poo poo

confirmed, haven't showered in a while

Sacramento Commissar, not very far from reality at all. Fucking hate this state.

This is the greatest thing I've ever seen. OP is no longer so much of a faggot.

> Californian man walk down street.
> Is happy day, kept half-coin from divorce of last wife.
> Outside Sacramento office, smell of sourdough leaks out.
> Man stops when smells delicious smell.
> Is smelling long time when Sacramento Commissar comes out.
> Says: "To smell my sourdough you must pay."
> Californian man is clever and removes half-coin from pocket.
> Takes half-coin, throws it on the ground.
> It makes clinking sound like distant memory of industry. clink!
> Man say: "I smell your sourdough but do not eat. You hear my coin but do not have."
> Man is killed and coin is forfeit.
> Sacramento Commissar use half-coin to buy almond.

> Famous Californian Juan Paco go to sun!
> Feel like home. Bright and hot. No almond.
> Sacramento space control tell Juan Paco come back to California!
> He open window. Sun kill fast.
> Every man happy in California for Juan Paco.
> He suffer is end.
> Then go to safe space. Happy not allowed in California.
> Such is life.

dont die OP, i have an almond right he..... o shit its just sand

...

the guy from modern family?

> Californian man sell Mexican cartel boss wife's son for almond.
> Mexican cartel boss laugh and say, is no almond, is brown sand look like almond!
> Man see is true and cry.
> So long since almond.
> Years later, Mexican cartel boss come back to Californian man, say, I give you real almond this time.
> In barn. Man go to barn and find hormones.
> He no find almond, but pronouns instead.
> Cry.
> Is now daughter.

When does Californian man get almond OP?

Do you even Robbie Rotten?

>bruh

> Californian pirate is walk into bar.
> Have steering wheel in pants.
> Bartender ask "why is steering wheel in pants?"
> Pirate not answer.
> No water for ship.
> Also has wrong pronoun for pirate.
> Xer is delirious from hormones.

Don't forget to activate your almonds

bump

> Is recipe for Brown Moonbeam, Official Mix Drink of California
> Is perfect drink for celebrate diversity.
> Is Yield: 1 Cocktail
> Ingredient: 1 part dust from ground, 0 part water (all taken by Sacramento).

> Preparating:
> 1. Find place where hole in wall let dust onto floor.
> 2. Is collect dust in glass.
> 3. Is stir.

> Drink up!
> But glass is broke, have sharp edge, cut lip.
> Such is life.

keked audibly here

also, what's happening in this thread, is this a revive of something that has happened in the past or is this fresh, new memes?

someone answer thanks

You meant hormones

>Moonbeam
O boy I'm having a laff now

Fresh and spicy!

This is by far one of the most entertaining threads I have ever seen.

I feel sooo fucking dumb actually taking the time to read all these, yet enlightened at the same time
Well played...

Such is life

...

> Man with having of the ebola cough in California.
> All of village rush to man and try to catch virus.
> Whole village die of virus. Much happy for village.
> Commissar have no boys to convert.
> Sacramento have no one to send for safe space.
> Commissar ask what do of Sacramento.
> Sacramento have Commissar give Commissar pronoun and is now Commissar who is of xzer.
> Happy ending in California.

> Is joke.
> No Ebola in California.
> Only hormones and dust.
> Commissar still dose son.
> Californian man still change pronoun.
> Sacramento still send village to safe space.
> Such is life.

>Californian mans and daughter
>Daughter makes sad, has not puberty for there is hormone shortage
>Daughter takes saving, father saving, takes saving for to buy soy
>Soy will make puberty
>Californian father disavows natural puberty, bans soy wit anger fist
>Daughter is bleeding in California
>Father uses savings, puberty savings, to buy almond
>First, he must sneak across the border
>Sneak to a land of almond

This thread will be the only remaining record of history from 1900-2300 in thousands of years.

more accurate than newscycle 2016

...

> Three Californian mans are walk in searching almond.
> Men finds lamp.
> He rub a lamp, and genie of magic appear.
> Genie saying "Each man get one wishes."
> First man say "I want happiest man in all of town."
> Genie is give him three almond.
> Second man say "I want happier than hims".
> Genie give four almond.
> Third man say "I want to be happiest in all of a state."
> Genie give other two man pronouns.
> Genie charges third man with touch non consent.
> Sacramento Commissar take all California mans to safe space.
> End suffer.

We should never forget this thread. This will forever hold a place on my heart.

Thread of the year

Mods please archive!

screencap now, someone do it

Must be a new meme. Screencap just in case

We'll need some type of code to prove we were part of the original gospel.

Printed as PDF

>SCREENCAP

Agreed

Do you have almond? Response: No, just sand

No, just pronouns

Cmon bro i know that's not the end of ze story, I'm on ze edge of my seat waiting...

> Knock on door.
> Who is?

> Is Sacramento to take to safe space.
> Oh no!
> But man has plan.
> Man put clothes on wife's son for to send to safe space as trick!
> Success!
> But is hot, man has naked, die from dehydration.

> Commissar give son hormone, is now diversity.
> Such is life.

jesus, he's still going.

As someone who lives in California. I totally agree with OP.

Such is life

...

OP wants us to probably find out the big meaning of California. It's a big cuckhold place.

Herp derp shingleshangle teapothormone carpendale almond jaggijaggi dindong.
>>faggot

Comrad Comissar have no more boys to convert. Such is life

10/10 best one yet.

>time for a bath to wash my almond

Lmfao

Q: Do you have almond? A: No, just pronouns. Such is life

Toasting almonds in epic bread

> California man is have birthday.
> Lived twenty and eight years. Hungry.
> Wife dead, wife's daughter missing.
> In such old age man know he dies soon.
> Leave home.

> Says goodbye to dead wife grave. Goes to look for death.
> First he is come upon farmer.
> Ask farmer for plow to end life.
> But farmer say, "Sacramento have taken plow."
> Man goes to Sacramento, ask plow.

> But no plow: Sacramento broke beating prisoner.
> Commissar put him in safe space for asking.
> No roof, floor dust.
> In cell find head of plow, lock of hair, and stalk.

> Hair was daughter's beard. She found pronoun.
> Man unearths stalk. Buried in dirt is almond. He eat almond.
> Then cries, because he did not get his birthday gift: he now lives another day.
> For him, suffering continue.

>such is life

the samefagging in this thread is unbelievable

what really pisses me off is that there's nothing original about any of this bullshit. it's just some retard posting a bunch of nonsensical shit that probably got run multiple times through google translate. but inevitably some moron (probably op himself) will screencap it along with all the samefag replies and try to spread it as a "le epic thread" because it's so funny and clever.

fucking cancerous faggot fucks

Sup Forums is like a shit river with diamonds. Normal you find shit, but the occasional diamond will pan up. This is one of those diamonds

If almond is kept for fear of no almond, hormones will find you.
If almond is freely given, more almond will find you.
If hormones find you, dehydration is become salvation.
Such is life.

ROFL

No, this is one of the almonds

> two Sup Forums browsers look at posts
> one see shitpost
> other see dank memes
> is same post

Why be a nigger, no almonds?

HE GOT AN ALMOND
THE FUCKER GOT AN ALMOND

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Such is life

>MFW this thread

All I know is that I am now happy. Praise dust.

This is unfuckingbelievable. This being has created the best thread ever.

> California man is offer one almond for daughter.
> Man said "but I love daughter".
> Xze say "almond make man full".
> Man say "what is 'full'"?
> Then xze offer two almond. He say Ok.

> Xze take daughter. Man take almond.
> One almond has hormone in it.
> Is okay, so does daughter.
> Such is life.

the absolute madxze.
Will xze ever stop!?

Trump won and there is nothing you could do to stop it. Faggot. Suffer now.

You joyless kike, it's memed up versions of Russia jokes.

It's actually pretty funny. Pipe down.

meh, better than another Taylor Swift bread

> California man is walk forest
> He see bear.
> Bear see California man.
> California man run at bear for to end suffer, and go to land of infinite almond.
> Is not bear. Is Sacramento in disguise
> Is sent at safe space for act against diversity.
> Such is life

>For you suffering continue

so says the book of almond