Anyone interested in a random life story full of wtf, sadness, cringe and win?

Anyone interested in a random life story full of wtf, sadness, cringe and win?
>warning: it's not pretyped

no

fine, better be good

>Be 6 or 7
>small town north mississippu
>after school mom is at work
>dad is a trucker so on the road
>have to stay with family friend after school till mom gets off
>he is a single dad with a 10 year old daughter
>play with her everyday
>shes into power rangers and legos and shit like me
>one day user, do you like me?
>duh you're my friend
>no i mean like like
>oh you mean love (note i actually had no idea what love actually meant just knew you said it to family and junk)
>yeah do you love me?
>well yeah
>have you ever heard of sex?
>no.pg

>its what people who love each other do
>well then lets do it. How?
>first we have to get naked
>giggle because 7
>ok
>we laugh while undressing
>now what?
>already have child boner from seeing girl naked
>you have to put your thing in my thing
>ok
>literally lay on top of her and our privates just kinda smush together
>feels good tho
>ok now what?
>i think we're supposed to kiss
>we just exchange a series of quick pecks
>get dressed and go home
>black thing appears on my dick
>get worried
>tell mom
>she asks if anyone had touched me
>spill beans about femanon
>turns out it was just a speck of dirt on my dick
>next time i go to the other house mom stays with me
>she talks to femanon
>turns out her dad was fucking her and thats how she knew about sex
>dad gets arrested
>girl is god knows where

wtf

Flash foward to middle school
>be the pokemon/yugioh kid
>play at school with 3 friends but we are all social losers
>minding own goddamn business in English class
>teacher gives us assignment and leaves
>suddenly mass of hair is on my desk
>girl in front of me has her head back and is flipping her hair everywhere
>cmon user play with it
>uh oh spaghettios
>i have never been in this situation
>last girl who gave me attention got sent away forever
>ignore.exe
>she keeps doing it
>other kids are staring
>cmon user i like it when boys play with my hair
>redface full on
>say first thing that comes to mind
>uh i dont like girls
>WTF DID I JUST SAY
>leave and go to bathroom to escape the shame

Any lurkers?

me nigga

bumping while OP writes

>warning: it's not pretyped

this is bait.

god, i wish bioware hadn't fucked up the tali face reveal so badly. the fucking fans did a better job than they did

>change schools because my moms a teacher
>finally get a gf
>cute little pale redhead with braces
>dont do anything with her because family raised me no sex till marriage or jesus cries
>afraid actually kissing her will lead to sex
>never do anyrhing besides a quick peck on the lips
>week later she dumps me
>be in band
>bro is first chair trumpet
>tell him about break up
>hey man what if i let you play the solo tonight
>fuck yeah
>play ray charles georgia on my mind like a boss
>feel slightly better
>get good jobs from bros and band girls
>end up making out with blonde under stands
>Feel loads better

Forgot tali pic

...

OP go on

Junior year
>be emo kid non conforming as can be
>be friends with mostly girls
>one girl whos family is poor af
>fall for her hard but she friendzones me because i am a beta male
>become her emotion support guy friend
>other metalfag guy
>she starts dating him
>about the time twilight came out
>she claims I am her jacob and hes edward
>finally get word she fucked him
>cut off all contact with her

Type it out and then come back shitface

>I an her jacob and he is edward

oh, OP..

>she claims I am her jacob and hes edward

>be senior year
>be working at sonic
>finally out of the emo phase and semi normal
>work with a 20 year old cutie
>ask her to go to my prom
>she says yes
>go and have a great time
>all i can think is how this prom is so much better than junior year as i had gone with twilight girl.
>finally say fuck my parents rules and get my first bj in the car that night

>k guys thats it for now. I gotta leave the wifi. Ill type the whole story out and post it later.

Finish the fucking story!

Fuck you

>starts green text story
>leaves when it starts getting good

dick move, OP

told you it was bait.

Im sorry ypu guys i dont have wifi when i leave