A Starfleet professor and chief transporter officer on 13 Miranda class ships was teaching a class on transporters.
”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship the transporter and accept that it truly is the safest way to travel!”
At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Reginald Barclay who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of physical travel stood up.
”S-s-so is the p-p-person coming out of the t-t-transporter the same one that was b-b-beamed, or a d-d-duplicate?”
The arrogant professor smirked quite Ferengily and smugly replied “Of course it's the same, you stupid ponce.”
”W-w-wrong. If the p-p-person that c-c-came out was the same, then Thomas Riker should n-n-n-not exist”
The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his datapad and copy of Transporters Today. He stormed out of the room crying those Engineering crocodile tears.
The cadets applauded and all accepted the Type-8 shuttlecraft as their lord and savior. An eagle named “Galleio” flew into the room and perched atop the Starfleet flag , shedding a tear upon the chalk. The Anthem of the United Federation of Planets was sung several times, and Q himself showed up and enacted a warp speed limit across the quadrant.
The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of transporter psychosis and his pattern was lost for all eternity.
