Hey Sup Forums, does anyone want to hear my rape story?

hey Sup Forums, does anyone want to hear my rape story?
first part is general backstory
second part is actual rape
Also general greentext thread

>be me
>have already gone through sexual abuse as a child
>I start remembering shit when i'm 16
>already dating vlad (for real, his name is vladimir)
>he took my virginity and we'd been fucking like rabbits for almost a year
>suddenly, because i'm remembering shit that i repressed
>i'm getting flashbacks while he tries to come on to me
>i tell him, we talk it through, he understands
>we work out a system of how to tell him when i'm getting uncomfortable
>6 months pass
>getting the hang of my newly found ptsd
>he seems more distant
>after a gig one day, he shoves me to the ground
>he was in a shit mood
>says he honestly thought I was going to hit him
>literally never been a violent person, hurts that he thinks I would ever do that
>ptsd gets worse
>despite it being a fairly minor situation, now every time he goes to high five me or put his arm on my shoulder, I flinch
>flinching more than usual at one of his family parties
>he says I’m embarrassing him
>he says “now everyone thinks I beat you user, thanks a lot”
>now his birthday party is coming up
>cheats on me with one of my good friends from high school
>he tells me he was too drunk, he cant remember
>but everyone else at the party saw, everyones telling me what happened
>he comes up with excuse after excuse like usual, i just end up dropping it
>another few weeks pass
>slowly noticing hes starting to care less about having sex with me
>as in he still does it all the time, but he doesn't seem interested about pleasuring me
>he used to be a huge giver
>because of my ptsd, fear sets in about telling him how i feel
>he ends up telling me hes not even attracted to me any more, he just fucks me because he's addicted to sex
>try to be understanding but after 2 and a half years of being together, it hurt

pic related: typical post break up text from him

get to the rape part

Tits? And cont

That's what he gets for fucking around with damaged goods.

tits of GTFO

cont?
Some people change, try to let go
also bump

tits or gtfo

cant even greentext properly

cont:

>side note: i came out as trans a year into the relationship and he was super super into it sexually
>i go over to his place one day, no ones home
>i ask him "can we please not have sex today? i'm just feeling like shit, had nightmares about my abuse last night" blah blah blah
>he says thats fine, he says he gets it
>literally 5 minutes later his hands are on my ass while watching rick and morty
>he's pulled this shit before
>i've said no, hes trying to get me aroused so i wont say no, but i wont say yes either
>he takes it as consent
> i say to him "please dont touch me, not today. i know what youre trying to do"
>"what? i'm not trying to do anything!" he says as he puts his hand up my shirt
>he doesnt even sound sarcastic
>"i'm only trying to show that i love you, user"
>whatever, i know this game
>i try to move away a little, he moves closer
>and gets more and more handsy
>he tries to kiss me, i give him a peck to try to satisfy him
>it did not satisfy him
>i say no, please, just stop at least 5 more times
>he finally acknowledges it when I get up and say I'm going home, i cant deal with this
>he reacts as usual
>"fine, everythings always my fault isn't it user?! why do you ALWAYS act like you dont love me?"
>he gaslights any and every point i have, as usual
>blackmails me
>i think of all the random people hes given nudes for attention
>i think of how i've not been enough for him time and time again
>and, as usual, i sigh
>i give up
>i dont say no anymore
>i slowly walk out to the bedroom
>its happened before, just like this
>it'll happen again, just like this
>because thats all im worth
>because no one else could ever love me
>he undressed me
>tries to finger me
>ridiculously callused fingers, all the skin is dried and open
>fucking bass player
>hurts like hell

cont. this was longer than i thought
pic related: it's him

Im lonely as fuck, and suffer from ptsd too. fuck me user.

Well OP, you can't really blame him for that.
You have to get fixed, you need a professional help in order to get in a stable relationship.

You can't be "Fixed" Fucking asshole.

No one can just fucking "Fix" someone.

last part

>turns me onto my stomach, pushes my head down
>can barely breathe
>pushes himself inside of me
>feels like its tearing because I’m as dry as a desert
>he doesnt even notice that i'm making no sound, not even heavy breathing
>i try to hold back tears
>he’s quick, doesn’t take anymore than 10 minutes
>he finishes inside of me as usual
>finally, now we can just watch rick and morty in peace
>but i know
>i know it'll happen again in another 3 days or so

Whats really ironic is that he made sure i didnt watch the mr meeseeks episode with the almost-rape because he was worried it'd trigger me.
Fucking Vlad.

as for tits or gtfo, sorry to say that i no longer have tits, being trans and all.

ever heard of doctors

mental trauma isn't fixed like a fucking broken leg, fuck off.

7/10

So you were a girl dating a cheeki breeki but now you're a guy? And he's in to that?

Then fucking kill yourself already.

OP here

I feel like I should mention we had been friends in primary school, around the same time i was being sexually abused for the first time. So i think he thought it couldn't get any worse than from when it was actually happening, but oh boy did it get worse.

Now I'm officially diagnosed with PTSD, borderline personality disorder, OCD, bipolar and schizoaffective disorder. fun!

Bump

This was soo bad

>it's another "trans person is mentally deficient" episode

Ever tried Therapy? Or does the fact that therapist is an anogram of 'the rapist' trigger you?
I've been raped before and at least I don't act like a little pussy about it.

Ecstasy and Adderol and some random antidepressants like Zoloft are your answer.

They won't fix you, but they'll help.

Trust me, that's what I'm on.

I wasn't raped, my kidney was harvested WHILE I WAS AWAKE.

not to mention I served in the armed forces for 3 years.

And yes, I've tried therapy, did not help at all.

These drugs did though.

>fagget

your are a fag. Grow the fuck up and do never come back OP.

I was raped until I was 14 by my own mom and I am not a PTSD faggot that hurr durrs about their relationships. Fuck off poof.

Yeah, he didnt really have a sexuality? He was a real fetishist. He didnt care what parts I had or whether I looked male or female, he just wanted to experience everything there was to experience. I guess i was just part of his sexual bucket list

lies. ecstacy doesnt work when you take zoloft

im not prescribed ecstasy, that shit's back door.

Anyway, citation needed

>my kidney was harvested WHILE I WAS AWAKE
Fucking wot?
If that's the case why do you get triggered by rick and morty almost rape scenes? Or are you not OP?

Anti depressants can cause problems with bipolar. Speak to a psychiatrist about medications but you might be better on a mood stabiliser or something.
I know someone else wit bipolar and BPD and it's rough. Hope you can find some professionals and some people in your life that care about you and can help you through this.

Im not OP

Any pics of you? Curious.

How did you let a nigga steal your kidneys tho for real

Doctor here

I know exactly what you want. A kick in the ass and a pill of grow the fuck up every 2 hours until you ran out of faggority.

I've been in therapy for 6 years, I've been on escitalopram and I'm now on 600mg of syraquil a night.
Trauma isn't based around exactly what happened, its based on how your brain decided to deal with the difficult thing. Its true that many people have come out of similar or worse situations unscathed and I'm happy for them, but I'm not self diagnosed. its a real thing that my brain decided to do. i mean, if you already have mental health issues when something traumatic happens, youre bound to get fucked up the ass by mental disorders.

Zoloft is an SSRI and MDMA is a serotonergic drug. they dont work together

Knocked me out, didn't do a good job, woke me up during REM cycle, sleep paralysis

Well thanks for letting me know, I guess I'll stop with the ecstasy.

>its a real thing
no it is not you faggot. You are a faggot and the doctor a pair of greedy jews. You either fuck off and grow up or kill your fucking self. Since you dont have the balls to kill yourself, better fuck off with your weak feelings to 9fag

That's savage. Pics of scar? Either way, best of luck in your future endeavours kidney bro

Doc recommends I don't look at it too often, PTSD remember?

if I were normal, I'd show that shit off like a kid with a shiny new Gameboy.

yeah, sure
face is still pretty femme
also sorry for slow replies, australian internet is shocking

Im lookin to be a girl, i wish you luck.

Ah right, now I get you.
So what, do you still use your vagina sexually or do you prefer to just not acknowledge it?

>look at me.
>My life sucks and the doctors told me I have made up things so they can get money.
>It's okay though because I get to attention whore about it on Sup Forums
>I don't know how to say no but that's my fault
>I'm so worthless boo hoo
>It's definitely real and haooened exactly like I say it did

God you're ugly as fuck too. Probably were as a girl as well.

Just fucking kill yourself already.

Australian medicare means I pay little to nothing for my sessions and medication.
Also, doc says my biggest pshysical issue is my utterly destroyed, raped over the coal liver because of how many times i've overdosed. I'm not too much of a pussy to kill myself, its just never ended up finishing the job and ive got new shit to live for now

Hey, fellow transman here, sucks that your face is still femme, are you on T yet?

many thanks user, good luck to you too!

fuck yeah i'm an attention whore, but made you reply so suck my plastic wang, faggot

I'm keeping my vagina. female orgasms FAR exceed male orgasms and I don't want to pay $50,000 for a surgery that i may not even like and not be able to cum for the rest of my life

no, tbh i'm terrified of T. i'm a singer and i dont want my voice to go to the dogs. I don't mind being femme, it gives me more options. i can choose to pass as male OR female
i'm probably leaning to be more nonbinary than anything else

You should've learned your place.
If I was him, I'd have forced you to tell me about your child sexual abuse in the place where it happened and then done exactly that to you and slap the shit out of you if you resisted

you cut off your tits but you wont take T?

formal, our last "date"
also
>me
>looking this autistic

didn't cut them off, binding has just made them shink and sag, and i had small tits to begin with

cool story

Well, im getting my schlong cut off, even though I can't get off from my front side ever again, I still have a prostate.

so how are you a trans man?

Posy vagina pls

well I cant cum from penetration so my clit is my only hope
also mtf surgery exceeds ftm surgery by about 20 years

I identified as male through my relationship with vlad, now i would consider myself nonbinary
because i am an attention whore

nah, i havent shaved
also cant post from my phone

You have already posted pics!!

Post that hairy vag OP

pics of me were from my computer, faggot
and im in a committed relationship now, dont really feel like putting my nudes on Sup Forums

Let's pray you dont fuck this one up with your Mental illnesses and insecurity kek

just vag no one will know
topkek

Do as you are fucking told mate!!

Doctor here my diagnosis is fucking kill yourself

yknow whats even funnier? the dude I'm dating now is vlads older half brother

this picture is the best i have, i dont actively take nudes
this is from a year ago when i got myself a tail plug
be satisfied

man, there are lots of "doctors" on Sup Forums huh

are you dumb, vag as in vagina as in your puss

Sorry, unsatisfied ausfag here

Still need to see that hairy vag champ

Just break up with him.

He is immature and wants to get laid and you have personal problems to sort though. YOU aren't ready for a relationship yet and he obviously wants different things out of a relationship and also he's a piece of shit

It was kinda hot until you revealed your face

>trans
And this is where I depart

OP was indeed a fag

lol you fucking psychotic

fucing faggots, can you not read??? i dont take pictures of my own vag, i have no need to, i live with my partner, i dont sext, too bad

i broke up with the cunt close to 2 years ago now

i am queer as fuck, so, yeah
OP is inherently a fag