Greentext your first time smoking weed

Greentext your first time smoking weed

>never worked for me
>like 3rd time smoking
>water bottle bong
>walk in woods near friends house behind church
>taking tokes
>this shit isn't going to work
>smoke a gram of good stuff amongst 3 friends
>I get blasted off. No one else affected
>hysterically laughing, remember feeling distinctly as though I was in a movie or TV show
>near out of control but friends think I'm playing around
>her parents come home, straighten up, leave, come down

>at highschool party
>guys smoking pot on the porch
>go out and take multiple tokes
>follow up with not one but TWO 40s of colt45
>down 3 shots of jacks
>shotgun 2 beers
>go outside to puke
>projectile vomit off the porch
>zone out in a chair for a few hours
>snap out of it and walk home

>be me
>smonk wed
T'was lit

>be me

>Be me
>talk about wanting to smoke some green at work
>coworker offers to get me some from his guy
>ohshit.png
>buy half a quart of loud for 40 bucks
>finally find a friday gf and I are off
>find empty church parking lot
>420 blaze it
>using small bong and don't feel first bowl
>do it again, still feel nothing
>3rd time is the charm
>feel like I'm getting picked up by my shoulders but also incredibly dazed
>keep unzoning out every few seconds
>drive home 50mph road at 20 or less
>holding steering wheel for dear life
>somehow got back to the house
>ate two shitty garlic bread things I had put away
>stood in front of gf 15 minutes straight without saying or doing anything
>went to bed

>get dank
>smoke out of shitty bottle bong
>about a minute later it hits
>go walk around because it feels weird
>sit in chair outside
>stare at sky for what feels like 3 hours
>wasreally2minutes.png
>go to room
>lay on bed
>feels like shits spinning
>pass out

9/10 did do again
many times

but its kinda dull now

>21 years old
>always curious but never tried it
>asked best friend/long time smoker to get me high
>get mcdonalds burgers first
>drive around subdivision and smoke
>start feeling something
>Park car and go for walk
>suddenly high as fuck, it's awesome
>laugh my ass off watching family Guy all night

>Get really drunk
>take a few drags
>Giggle a bunch
>Shortly fall asleep

Repeated this twice and have not touched it in since. Been years.

kek

>apple
>knife
>apartment
>used paper and a gas stove to lite cause no lighter
>friends geeked and got distracted
>i smoked it all
>fell asleep

>17yo me
>at stoners friend house
>pretend I smoked weed before
>bad trip

Im high right now and got bored of keep writing

>Be in the 6th grade
>With my older brother and cousins
>Smoked a few bowls out of a bong
>Didn't really feel anything
>Don't remember much
>Apparently I ate some poptarts and then went to bed

>be me
>be 13, start of 9th grade
>lunchtime, chilling with some dudebros
>dudebro has a few grams of shitty weed and a pipe shaped like a saxophone
>take a few hits, don't know how to hit a pipe properly
>pretty much nothing happens

second time was better
>couple days later
>same routine except dudebro rolled a joint this time
>take like 3 good hits and get really high
>walk into the 7/11 to buy chips
>randomly start laughing like crazy
>leave the store because i'm too loud
>end up standing in the middle of the parking lot for 5 minutes, laughing at nothing while the cashier rings up my friends

Half a quarter
So, an 8th?

>be 16
>ate some fucked shit before
>be watermelon, spicy bowl o noodles, and a large hi-c from McDonald's,
>arrive at friend of friends house
>eats even more
>go to friends dealers house
>have 4 foot bong in living room
>be me watching everyone take hits
>really nervous so I decide to wait
>now they are having a contest to see who can take the longest, biggest hit
>see me in corner watching
>pressured into contest
>friend milks it up for me until for a good minute or so
>says here user, on the count of three, inhale as hard and fast as you can, them hold
>follow instructions
>managed to clear it
>start coughing fit like hillary
> few minutes later feel that body is gone to another level
>throat began to feel numb
>feel warm sensation coming up throat start to burp a lot
>start to panic
>asks where bathroom is
>floor is all carpet except for bathroom which was tile
>walks half away out the living room
>tries to prevent from spewing by coving my mouth with hand
>done fucked up and blew chunks all over carpet
>reaches bathroom proceeds to throw up in sink bc I couldn't make to toilet
>then proceeded to go to toilet and puke for another 3 hours
>dealer came in and was like "you gotta clean that shit"
>wiped everything I could, never came back

>Be me after first year of university
>Home for summer
>Friends talking about getting me to smoke
>Always hated drugs, but my opinion was beginning to soften
>Finally let them get me high
>Barely take in one tiny hit before I begin coughing uncontrollably, stagger to couch
>Start feeling as if, every moment that passes, I'm waking up from a dream
>Friend asks how I'm feeling
>Explain feeling to him, he says "That's exactly how if felt for me too" with a big grin on his face
>Eventually get the worst dry mouth of my life, start chugging so much water that my friends tell me to take it easy
>Eat a bowl of generic Cookie Crisp with milk, it's amazing
>Play Smash (N64), I don't have a single thought the entire time and yet I'm able to hold my own even though I had never played it before
>Listen to Dark Side of the Moon while coming down because I was too fucked up to do anything else
>Collapse on couch, wake up next morning perfectly fine
>Can't believe I was so opposed to marijuana before this point

It was "meh"

>sisters birthady party
>one of her friends brought weed
>go with him and 2 other dudes for a walk to smoke it
>take multiple hits
>went back to party
>thinking suddenly became really hard, my brain became, well... stoned best describes it.
>eat tons of sandwitches

Tried it couple more times with similar results. Probably won't ever smoke, because there's nothing fun in it for me, it's rather annoying.
LSD was much more fun and terrifying.

Fuck a greentext
With girlfriend
Spending night at her house
17
Get shit from friends huge stoners
Do it
Nothing
3 inhales later I forgot what just happened two seconds before
Freak out
Out of it
Start to feel good
See flashing lights
Do something with gf
Go to sleep
Wake up go to school
Feel fine
Go to the store feel weird like I'm not in my body still feel like that 1 year later don't smoke true story

>Same bro
>First time just turned 13
>My DudeBro had a couple G's and an apple >pipe we made
>Got high as shit and started laughing at this >fucking truck for the longest time

>be at rave
>smoked a few times before but never really felt it
>do some shrooms
>hour goes buy, don'e feel anything
>decide to eat 2 more grams of shrooom
>had a spare blunt and some edibles just in case
>smoke said blunt and feel great
>body is warm and feels great
>suddenly I'm being engulfed by lights
>can barely manage a thought
shrooms are weird

>be me 3 years ago
>18y/o freshman college student
>at a house party
>college friend brings over one his high jew friends
>she's hot as fuck
>drunk me attempting to play beerpong cause I have nothing else to do
>she scoots by and says that she "wants to play with me"
>plsslowdown.jpeg
>first time this close to grill
>fuck it we play a couple of game and realise we're shit at it
>she asks me if I smoke
>"nah never did but I want to try it"
>"well I have something for you"
>OHMAN.AVI
>takes me to the backyard
>isitreallyhalleningplshelp
>pulls out joint and lights it up
>I'm just here watching, drunk and amazed (and horny)
>takes in a breath on the joint
>grabs me by the face and we start we making out
>as soon as there is contact she releases the smoke in my mouth and I enhale it
>bruh.png
>I get lost in what she just did amazed at how amazing it felt
>instant boner
>she feels it against her stomach
>make out for another 2 minutes
>finish joint
>"let's go inside, user"


We basically fuck the rest of the night
Its also the same night i lost my virginity
Also the same night I got my first kiss
Also the same night I got a my first blowjob


Quite the night if you ask me, probably the best one yet. Will post a picture of the chick if dubs request

Had a bad trip with salvia. Havent smoked in forever. Kinda scared if I smoke again I'll get the same feelings as salvia. Advice for user?

dubs request

>used to skateboard with the older guys next door one day they invite me to come play melee
>go in turns out hes a really good drug dealer and owns all kinds of cool shit but i had never smoked
>flashforward a week playing pokemon at his place trading and battling with like 10 people (shit was lit) he asks if im down to smoke
>might as fuckin well him and his and friends are always doing it
>i say yeah and he whips out a big bag of blue dream and packs a bowl in this big pokemon bong
>i take one clean hit and chilled until it kicked in. Really scared me due to my heart rate increasing but eventually i just relaxed and played more video games
Now i smoke weed at least once a day not as fun as it used to be though

>be 19 or 20
>technically it was Richard Oil (wax) not weed but still
>ate it with some dank bugles
>never smoked weed before
>with 4 friends who also took some but smoke every day
>go to check out a house we want to rent
>start laughing "I feel like I'm walking on octopus limbs"
>everyone starts talking in slow mo
>panic sets in
>heart feels like it's going to explode
>start telling everyone I think I'm going to have a heart attack
>scream that I need to go to the hospital
>take off my shirt and tell my friends to feel my chest because my heart is racing
>they do and it's not racing or even beating fast
>sit in car alone tell everyone to stand around me outside of the car in case I die
>still high next day
>develop panic disorder
>still getting over that shit
>all in all it was pretty awesome

>be me last summer
>got invited to a pool party qt with an 8 pack is there
>arrive at my friends house he instantly comes over and picks me up
>he brings me over to his backpack while my other friend goes inside
>he has a dime bag of weed with some pipes
>fuckyeah.jpg
>we drove over to the pool party and we go swimming for a while
>met up with another friend there
>as we are swimming and hanging out the qt dude and some hot girl start to fight over me
>the dude starts to grab my ass while the girl grabs my tits
>shit.gif
>after that we went up in the dudes treehouse who owned the house and got high as fuck
>i asked the dude if i could go home with him that night
>he said yes and snuck me into his window
>we went out at 1am and got high again
>we go back inside and cuddle n' shit
>10 minutes later we ended up fucking
>best night of my life

>be me
>see retarded thread
>sage it

>be in 7th grade
>older brother asks me if I want to get high
>we go to the park near our house and climb up into the top of some of the playground equipment and he loads a bowl

Not much of a story. But the funny part was the very next weekend one of my friends scored some weed and he told my best friend not to tell me because he didn't think I was cool with it and would rat them out. Then I was like fuck you, I've already smoked weed, asshole.

>15
>wagged last lesson of shool and left an hour early with 2 mates to smoke marijuans
>drugs are cool i will enjoy this
>one bowl in bushes behind super market
>sitting on plastic milk crate
>instantly realise nothing else except the bush im sitting in is real
>im in vietnam
>charlies are in the trees
>my school mates visibly turn into clowns
>whole bodied fear waves over me
>tell them im bailing
>get lost in bush for an hour
>come out of it 20 miles from my house as it gets dark
>phone battery dies
>walk home and eat whole pizza
>sleep
Fin

>take a few hits, slightly feel it
>probably doing it wrong
>feel nothing rest of the night

The third time however I just got high, like everyone else.
Smoking weed is fucking nothing faggot, stfu.

>be me
>15 or 16 years old
>go over to friends house who has only smoked one other time
>make a pipe out of a dr. pepper can
>bring the weed and dr. pepper pipe out with us into the woods behind his house with a grill lighter
>his parents are home so we bring a pellet gun with us and say we're going to go target practice and maybe hunt squirrels
>walk a ways back
>pass a river bank
>find a nice grotto area to chill
>we toke up
>idontfeelanything.jpg
>then it hits me
>im staring into the sky for no reason
>realize im high
>thisisit.png
>literally best feeling ever
>then we have to go back to his house
>he almost shoots me with the pellet gun while trying to cross back over the river bank
>we decide to burn his christmas tree from the week before in his outdoor firepit
>need to cover the smell of weed
>genius plan
>straight up light the whole tree on fire
cont.

>after lighting up the entire tree it goes up in flames
>didntexpectthis.webm
>i just pull up a lawn char and smile like the autistic faggot i was at this 15 foot pillar of flame
>friend starts freaking out
>im just laughing at the literal forest fire thats about to happen
>flames start to spread outside the rock circle of the firepit
>ohshitnigger.jpg
>yell at him to go get water
>he just fills up a bucket by a nearby pond and starts making trips to splash the water onto the fire
>i have no idea what to do
>look around
>see a rake
>perfect
>pick up rake and start to bat the flames as they spread on the pine straw in the forest
>holy fuck its working
>im literally a firefighter
>childhood dream come true
>laughing like a maniac while batting flames with a fucking rake
>somehow we put out the fire
>there is a clear black ring with about 20 foot diameter of just charred earth where the fire spread
>start jumping in ashes of firepit to be sure we actually got weed smell off
>go inside where his parents ask how its going
>we just look at each other and laugh
>she gives us a strange look but doesn't seem to care
>go upstairs and play fifa on his playstation
was a good time 10/10 best smoking experience ive ever had even though i'm not really friends with the guy any more

>be me at 14
>Make pipe in woodshop
>Looks cool as fuck so I had to try smokin it
>Cold as fuck my m8 smokes me up in the snow
>Fucked around on an ice rink for an hour
>Hardly even baked
>Smoke weed at least once a week since then

dubs requests

>Be 17
>Sitting around friends dorm room with small group
>Brought up in extremely conservative household and had no experience with chemicals at all
>Friend passes me pipe and asks if I want to try
>Took huge hit and coughed my ass off
>Sat back in my chair dealing with the fact that I'd just broken the law
>After I started feeling floaty stopped giving a fuck
>Actually was a really good time
>Was the first time I'd watched Half Baked too

> be me

Dubs request

>have a couple joints with friends
>feel dizzy
>eat a burrito
>watch YouTube videos
Basically it was like a normal day except slightly hungrier and funnier. 6/10 Overrated

cliffhanger. fuck you

> Half a Quart

>be me
>like 15 or 16 years old
>had tried smoking weed once before but all I did was hold the smoke in my mouth and didn't get high at all
>me and my cousin were going to a haunted house
>asks me if I smoke
>hellyeah.png
>rolls a fat joint take baby hit
>think this ain't that bad kinda like ciggies
>take massive hit
>cough head off
>cousin buys me a bag of sour patch kids
>drink both our waters
>don't get spooked at all at haunted house
>laughed my ass off most the time i was there


Fun day

There i finished it

OH SHIT NIGGA

>be me
>13 year old babyfaced kid
>friends tell me to go in the store to grab a peach optimo
>cashier asks,"you 18?"
>"yes"
>go back to friends house
>chill in his backyard
>they start passing it in rotation
>finally say fuck it and decide to partake
>hits me instantly
>high as fuck
>friend says,"lets go to the football game at the high school"
>everyone broke
>other friend says,"lets fly over the fence"
>wtf
>go to bathroom and start putting water on my face
>look at myself in the mirror for 10-15 minutes
>go to living room to chill
>almost ate my friends whole freezer full of ice cream
>getting ready to leave and everything around me felt weird
>friend took his moms car so we all get in
>5 minutes from home when cop pulls up
>flashes lights
>"fuck im going to jail! im only 13"
>friend pulls over to the right
>cop passes us and goes up the hill to a dispute
>everyone gets out and it ruins everyone's high
>get home
>lay in my room in the dark high as a giraffe's pussy
>kept looking at my ceiling thinking what kind of a crazy ass night it was

>13
>summer of 98
>a few older friends acquire weed
>decide to go smoke it at the little league baseball dugout
>i go first because i'm the only one who's never smoked
>never smoked anything in my life
>cough profusely
>oh god i am going to die of coughing
>guys no really am i going to die of coughing
>fuck i cannot stop coughing jfc
>okay finally stopped coughing
>hit it a second time
>do it right
>no coughing, thank god
>hit it a third time, no coughing, phew
>guys i think.........i think................
>i think i'm high..............................
>can't walk
>heart racing
>onset of panic
>fuck this i'm going to go skateboard
>oh my god i can't skate
>what is wrong with me
>ooooooooooo grass looks comfy
>lie down on grass, staring at clouds for 15? 30? 45? minutes
>everyone else chills in dugout, i'm by myself stoked on the clouds
>oh fuck there is a taco bell a block away
>order three crunchy tacos while terrified
>see a friend's mom and little sister
>ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
>run to bathroom at taco bell
>emerge 5 minutes later
>phew, they're gone
>taco time
>omg best tacos i've ever had
>order three more
>cashier giggles and says "hungry, huh?"
>oh my GOD she KNOWS
>i'm going to get arrested
>eat tacos
>i need to fucking go home, i can't handle this
>walk home
>eat leftover pizza in bed and fall asleep around 3pm

Not gonna use their real names just in case they go on this shit board

>Chad has this giant ass house on a giant ass property
>Chad has always been a bro, pretty giving guy
>other friend Christopher, Mark, and John come over too
> were all just chilling by a fire around 2 or 3 am talking about shit
> Mark brings out a water bottle makeshift bong and asks if i want to hit it
>whatkindofstupidquestionisthat.png
>take two hits and recline on some rocks by the fire
>shit started to become real funny and we were all laughing our asses off

It was a pretty good experience, until Chris thought it would be funny to fake a seizure, beside that was pretty good. Oh, also Chad's dad almost caught us, we were all high and drunk about to drive back to Chad's house (its a big property, so we were just gonna be driving on his property) and chris freaked out a bit too, besides all that tho, pretty gud

dubs are requesting jew bitch checkem

>be me
>buy weed from coworker
>borrow bong
>get directions for how to use good
>pack bowl tight
>breathe deep like my fat wife is on my face
>wait 10min, feel nothing
>get pissed, feel like I've been ripped off
>angrily pack and smoke 2 more bowls
>vision gets fucked halfway through last bowl
>"maybe I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions"
>calmly put everything away and walk gently inside
>walk 15ft and my arms suddenly grow 20ft long
>Fuck
>walk another 10ft, legs grow 20ft long
>with difficultly I open my backdoor from 2 stories up.
>wander through my house like an Ent looking for my wife
>"good, she's not here to watch me die"
>find couch, sit down and clench every muscle in an effort to keep my blood inside my stomach
>stare, unblinking for 3 years until my wife comes home
>say hello, doing good so far
>make convincing small talk, petting cat like bond villain
>"I am a god"
>getting increasingly good at drinking water with go-go-gadget arms
>go sleep with couch cushion clenched in my ass trying not to die

>wake up next day, wife tells me I kept eyes wide enough to see God, spilled five cups on ground with zombie arms, nearly sqeezed the guts out of my cat

fuck u i didnt read because it wasnt green

>Smoked two times before hand and didn't feel it
>Bought some weed from friend
>Made a mid-tier plastic bong
>Smoked it and got high for the first time
>Didn't know when to stop smoking
>I kept going till I didn't know how to do anything anymore
>Sat on couch and waved my hand in-front of my face
>trail like affect happened
>Ate a lot of food
>Good time as I just bought food
>Ate food then went to sleep

First time was the best time ever

>be 16
>beta af, never touched weed because muh christian values
>playing smash at my equally beta friends house
>5 or six of us in room, host gets idea
>pulls out gravity bong he made out of a mountain dew bottle and a pitcher
>starts passing it around
>whythefucknot.tiff
>clear the bong because I never pussy out on new shit
>5 minutes of coughing later i take a few hits out of frend's pipe
>rinse and repeat for two hours or so
>i'm in another galaxy than anyone else in the room
>tfw we all remember we have a football game to go to later
>panic.avi
>remember i got shitty body spray to mask our scent
>try to tell everyone in the room to calm tf down
>ohshitiforgothowtospeakenglish.mpeg
>blurt out "i'm so smart, i'm so smart aguau, i'm so msmart, i, uhh... oh"
>everyone starts laughing
>mfw

>be me, college freshman
>home for Thanksgiving break
>inb4 Americunt
>highschool buddy gets free weed from his airsoft friend
>also invite friend from Bangladesh who goes to the college in town (my college is a few hours away)
>we go out on highschool buddy's porch.
>420.exe
>I'm last to blaze it
>they tell me its gonna be rough and I'll cough alot.
>it just tickled my throat to high fuck
>really cold out so it doesn't hit us right away
>we go inside because done blazing
>it hits
>Jolly Bengali gets munchies, so we order pizza
>I think its funny that he's got munchies, so I'm laughing about it like an aspie for about 5 miniutes
>highschool buddy lets in his kitties from outside
>be high, eating pizza, playing with cats
>crash in literal mountain of Japanese hug pillows
>best experience ever

>"i'm so smart, i'm so smart aguau, i'm so msmart, i, uhh... oh"
HAHYAHAH

>Be me 14
>My parents were gonna be gone for two days told me i could stay home from school those two days
>Invite best friend who always had weed
>Had a fat ass joint
>Took 3 puffs and I could already feel it
You know that feeling you get in your eyes? Felt that
Here's where things take a turn
>We started watching porn and I had a noticeable hard on
>He ended up sucking my dick. Best damn orgasm, he let me cum in his mouth.
Pretty sure from that moment on i knew I'd be bisexual

>drunk with a few friends
>they're all high as fuck also
>convince me to smoke weed for the first time
>convince me to use a bucket bong
>drunk me thinks I can handle this
>cough my lungs up
>sit silently looking at the wall for an hour
>friends ask if I'm okay
>I projectile vomit everywhere
>pass out
>friends carry me to the couch
>woke up 5 hours later
>still high

It was fucking never ending, I felt like I was gonna die at the time

>be me
>9th grade
>qt 3.14 stoner said she bought me an 8th for my birthday
>smoke it all at her house with her and my best friend
>highasfuck.jpg
>just laughing and looking at the cool lights on my friends alienware computer
>went to dunkin donuts and ate
>got picked up by step dad
>went back home and watched youtube videos

Becauae that crazywow story was so incriminating.. how 12 are you

That took a strange turn of events

tf? wat

I didn't expect it, he asked me if I could show him my dick but stoned me didn't think that was gay. I showed him and he just grabbed it and started jerking me off. I didn't try stopping him cause it felt good

>be me
>underage ( this was a long time ago, don't worry mods)
>really underage
>cousins peerpressure me into smoking with them
>smoke out of the biggest fucking bong (probably 2feet tall)
>cough my ass off and chug a bottle of coke
>I could see galaxies for a brief moment
>pass out
the weed was spiked with something.
>i was 12
>probably on COKE

i dont give a shit about incrimination. I just dont want their asses to know I'm talking about them

How 12 are you?

Super fuckin 12 dude

>be me
>always wanted to try it
>get group of friends
>snow day home from school
>go to friends house
>his mom is cool with it for some reason
>buy some from his brother
>use his brother's bong
>get high
>eat goldfish
>I think I grabbed my friend's ass while I was high

Hi (sorry for my bad English)

Hey man

Wyd

>Senior year in highschool i was 17
>Fucked this girl a week before
>Lost my virginity
>She invites me to come over before rival football game
>instructs to bring appel
>i brings apple
>she takes out weed and makes apple pipe like a noob (hindsight is 20/20)
>hit it like 7 or 8 tiems (the apple, we didnt fuck tho i shoulda hit it)
>got high as fuck and couldnt drive so she drove me
>felt like i was driving in a rocketship and all the stoplights and shit zooming by and shit
>got subpar garlic fries at the game
> kind disappoint cuz i thought food was supposed to be bomb when high
>also was paranoid people would know
>drove me back to my car like 6 hours later
>i was still high as fuck

>16
>alone in my room
>beer can pipe
>5 fat hits this aint doin shit
>as im loading next bowl big head change
>I am now in the moment odd feeling in my chest almost like adrenaline rush
>stand up feel like i need to go to the hospital
>consider telling my parents whats going on
>fuck that
>lay in bed
>full body orgasm for a few minutes just laying there. felt like pulses idk heartbeating super hard
>call up my homie tell him im high and have a wicked headeache
>laughing it up
>hear a car going down the road outside as im putting my stash away
>i keep hearing the sound a car makes as it passes by it doesnt go away or get any quieter
>look at my ceiling fan and the sound instantly stops
>talk shit to my ceiling fan
>thats all i remember
>the next few times i smoked my neighbors tree looked like it had a face and i talk shit to the tree to this day

talking to a little bitch ass nigga, also known as (You)

>Be 17
>Prude goody tue-shoes
>Randomly decide to try pot
>Hop in bro's car
>Get supper ripped
>#Happilyeverafter

I need another blunt. brb, guise.

Salvia and marijuana are completely different. Weed might not be your thing, but you should try it. Also, salvia is insane dude.

>my tits
If grill show said tits or gtfo

kkkkekkkkkkkeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

>be with 2 other friends
>19th birthday
>friend got a dimebag for us to smoke
>he pulls gets out his pipe
>we go out behind his house
>he lights up rips first hit
>passes it to other friend
>comes to me
>take my first hit
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>passin it around
>start feeling good
>then it really hits
>look at the sky stars start swirling
>freak a bit and fall to ground
>get in the fetal position saying "the stars are coming to get me."
>go inside
>spend the next half hour on the ground
>petting a chair leg
>eat some thanksgiving stuffing
>pass out

Hey man, no need to get hostile. Wanna go to mcds for sone dollar menu?? :::::)

Strange turn but 10/10 would read again

>freshman year high school
>cool girl i liked
>always wore hello kitty beanie
>tell her i think she is awesome
>stupid stoner smile
>she tells me to meet her behind the gym building out by the football and track field
>meet her there
>she takes off beanie to reveal bag of weed
>she has her own papers
>rolls it fat
>lights and takes this huge inhale
>passes to me
>take first puff
>cough like dog gagging on its own vomit
>she laughs
>very light headed, high starts kicking in
>sat behind bleachers and finish joint
>cool girl

>be 14
>at abandoned house
>friend goes to neighbor
>do u hav weed
>yes
>gives us roach
>don't inhale
>pretend to be high
far out

>be me
>be 16
>new years eve
>My lifelong friend had gone to a different school then I the year before for reasons I still don't understand
>he came back to my school that year
>he had made friends with some druggies who had gone to that other school
>it was a lot larger then our small local school and had a pretty heavy drug scene
>anyways it's new years eve
>my mom and the rest of my family had decided they were going out to our vacation house for the night
>I decide to throw a little bit of a party at my house
>Invite friend and tell him to bring other people
>he shows up with three other guys and a shitty plastic gravity bong
>brought about 12g's
>start up the sesh
>I get first hit because I'm weed virgin
>have no many how many times we went around the circle before everyone decided they were good
>felt really wierd, my tounge was like moving around in my mouth and I couldn't control it
>all of a sudden my fucking mom calls me
>she tells me that her fiend is coming out to the vacation house but doesn't know the way
>she needs me to drive out there and have her friend follow me
>ohfuck.gif
>I was not ready for this
>tell friend he can come with me, but the rest of the guys have to go
>they leave
>we go to mom's friend's house
>she walks out I roll down my window to talk to her
>I just sort of say hi and that I'm going to show her how to get out there
>she nods gets in her car and follows me out
>45 minute drive
>past a police station a jail and across a busy interstate
>end up making it almost all of the way there
>miss a turn end up going two or three miles down a dirt road in the middle of nowhere
>realize how bad I fucked up
>have to get out of my car and tell her we missed the turn
>can't believe she didn't notice my eyes
>we turn around and start heading back to the right road
>take the correct turn this time
1/?

> be me 17
> staying at a friend's house
> been drinking a fair bit of fireball
> drunk as fuck cus low tolerance
> friends start smoking
> decide I want in
> get someone to explain how to do it from a bong
> take one hit and shortly after I'm beyond fucked up
> drunk me thinks it's a good idea to get sword out of his car
(Real sword not a toy)
> get up and get it and start waving it around
> my friends take it from me so I don't kill us all
> sitting in this already half broken chair laying back
> lean forward for another shot of fireball
*snap*
> chair breaks and I fall
> try reaching for the bong to get another hit
*crash*
> bong breaks
> fml
> later go inside and try to make some popcorn
*crack*
> stepped on a plate that was under the microwave

That's pretty much how the night went

>Small gathering at my place
>Me, 19, couple mates
>Got friend to buy 4 grams from stoner coworker at shitty job
>About 3am, all pretty wasted, one friend is projectile vomiting in my outside toilet near the pool
>Make homemade bong from 2L coke bottle, hose, aluminium can/ductape CP
>Took a couple pulls and hit me pretty quick
>Throat was fucked for a good couple hours
>Little bro gets back from a night out, bring home leftover Halal Snackpacks just as all of us get the munchies
>Overall pretty good night, solid sleep afterwards as well

keep going

>Be me
>Summer break going into junior year of HS
>Had cool senior friend who was a total bro from Sophomore year
>Call him Sean
>Sean was an up by the bootstraps kind of person, he owned a window business with his dad
>Actually made a decent bit of money off it from what he told me
>Anyways, Sean was the kind of guy who told it like it was, he wasn't afraid to dish out criticism to even his best friends.
>He would never sugar coat anything and in general was very down to earth and chill about everything at the same time
>I appreciated him for it because he helped me get through this girl I was really bummed over
>Sean and I hit it off throughout the summer, we barbecued out in some shitty park a few times with a few of my friends
>Most hysterical people I know
>A few weeks later Sean asks me if I want to try weed with him
>Sean was a total bro so I took up his offer
>We go out to this park in the center of town with a Frisbee golf course running through a wooded area.
>Sean shows me this path he made leading to a clearing in the woods with a leaf canopy so dense you could neither see in nor out
>Perfect spot to smoke, he shows me where he buries his weed in a cigar box and tells me whenever I need some I can take some
>Like I said total bro
>We both got really high and went to some burger place where we got called out for being high
>We both just laughed and left
>Then we went back to his house to play Mario Kart64

Nobody will read this and nobody will respond, but here
>go to friends house
>they have a bowl to smoke out of
>I put half the pipe in my mouth like a moron while him and others laugh
>they show me how to do it
>get so high that I won't stop saying "OI THE CLOCK TOWER IN ENGLAND GOES BONG" because I think it's the funniest thing I've ever said

Was great

gtfo mudslime scum

>be me
>freshman year
>mad at family that particular night and wanted to be rebellious teen
>go to my friends house and tell them I'll smoke weed with them
(They've been trying to get me to do it for years)
>smoke out of broken hookah
>remember thinking that I wasn't sure if I was high or not so my friends just keep getting me to smoke more
>stop when I almost puke from coughing so much

>at one point one of my friends going through my phone asks to delete pictures
>Not paying attention I say yes
>Conversation immediately wiped from my memory
>Yell at them for deleting my pictures and freak tf out when they said I just gave them permission bc I don't remember anything

>mfw they probably looked through all my porn and nudes

I know you lol

What's my first name then

>be me
>typical mick, I'm hitting the bottle at 15
>lord over all my stoner friends that I don't smoke because I'm not degenerate. Drink 24 beer before going to the bar
>make it to university somehow.
>go through frosh week like a pretentious asshole, no weed thanks! I'm just a raging alcoholic.
>cutie from residence asks if I want to go smoke up with her.
>she has tits
>I say yes
>we climb the tree in front of the security office and I smoke a bit
>swallow most of my smoke, get barely buzzed. Definitively declare that pot is stupid.


FF today: live in a recreational state smoke up all the time, in the pretentious way only a hipster could.

>party at my house
>sister's boyfriend invites his bros
>massive stoners
>whips out a trio of blunts, a vape and a bong
>take a few puffs of a blunt
>bretty good
>hot the vape twice
>eh
>bong time
>they warn me if I rip it too hard I'll end up blasted on the couch in 5 mins
>go big or go home
>apparently I ripped it for about 12 seconds straight, burning the bowl to ash
>mind you, it's the size of a small bubbler
>obviously cough a lung out
>5 mins later, end up on the couch for the rest of the night
>I was also drunk as fuck
>fun night

Or your first name or something, idk, if it's true then lol wow what are the odds

>hanging with new friends in college
>were underage cucks so no alcohol
>I get offered half a xanax from a bro
>quickly check web md to see if i will die
>take half a bar
>chill out
>bros are about to go out and smoke weed
>on the way in a car with a barred out driver
>arrive at a parking lot
>smoke some weed
>drive back and stop at a gas station and buy some laughy taffy
>sogood.webm
>dont remember after that

>drinking at house with friends
>straight edge in highschool party animal now
>do beer bong send snapchat to qt coworker
>immediate response wants to hang out now
>fastforward few weeks
>smoke at friends house while waiting for girl
>experience ego death and cuck myself out of hanging that night
>next week
>dd with girl and friends
>end up smokin
>panic attack lose my mind
>don't talk to chick for few weeks
>finally work together other day
>"sorry for being such a bitch that one night my phone died and i was mad"
>on my dik still
What the fuck is wrong with females

>be me at (now ex) girlfriend's lake house
>all of our friends are there too
>New Years eve
>so basically at a lake house even though it's snowy and cold as fuck
>having a party in her garage, music playing and shit
>overall, very good time
>trashed.jpg
>stoner friend standing by the garage door smoking a bowl
>walk over to him bc he's alone, say what's up but slurring like absolute fuck
>asks me if I want a hit
>I'm feeling that salivating under-the-tongue feeling when you're about to puke, again I'm trashed
>whynot.jpg
>take hit
>run to door on side of garage
>puke all over the snow

Epilogue
>one year later, present day
>smoking every day in college

Dubs request

>be me, 15
>mum and dad leave to go camping or some hippy shit.
>party time.exe has successfully booted.
>sister invites all her semi autist friends
>I have no friends because foreveralone, nah not really they were just busy/hated me.
>have 4 cones, get completely fubar,
>start downin jacks and wodka
>initiate fly kick into hallway
>smash head on doorway, roll ankle on floor.
>crawl into a dark room and feel liquid poor out of my nose.
>user.exe has encountered a critical error.
>bunch of people find me on the toilet staring at my hands.
>manage eventually to explain my current physical state.
>spend rest of evening in emergency room.

tldr; got fucked up, fractured my skull, tore ankle ligaments, asked out gf next day because fuck it.

okay
>
>
>
>

pretty crazy