Okay guise wincest time (pic unrelated)

Okay guise wincest time (pic unrelated)

>Be me
>14
>Just got 2nd gen iPod touch for christmas
>fuckyeah.jpg
>volume buttons bc fuck the chinese sweat shops
>at uncle's huge mansion on christmas day
>never been here
>uncle founded his own oil company
>is loaded with dolla dolla bills
>wears flannel and ripped jeans everywhere he goes
>humblest rich guy you'd ever meet
>bigassmansion.jpg
>playing pool with uncles in downstairs living room
>have to use baby pool stick bc 14
>"looks like your pecker"
>fuck off uncle Huey
>door opens
>enter people-I-don't-know
>fat chick with small baby in her arms
>slowly devouring the child with her succulent rolls
>followed by blonde dude, a little younger than me
>followed by tasty af looking piece of ASS
>GAWDDAMN.jpg
>blonde, perky tits
>perfect kind of perky
>like a large C-cup
>so not floppy but not small by any means
>cute light freckles all over face
>super tight jeans
>crocodile skin purse
>lol fuck PETA
>ask grandpa "who the fuck are these people"
>left the "fuck" part out of that actually
>"user, this is (fatchick) and her kids (blondedude) and (heavenlyass)
>"they're your uncle's new wife's grandkids
>wtf
>ponder for a moment
>so that makes them step-cousins
>or something
>who the hell has time for that kind of mental planning

cont.?

bumb

lets hear your lies op, bumping

keep 'er goin

>open the door
>get on the floor
>everybody walk the dinosaur

ill bump once more. op is a fag and will never delivar

>we'll call her "Riley" and her brother "Nathan"
>genericNames.jpg
>anywhore, Riley looked like sex
>not like an actual thingy going in another thingy
>the people kind of sex
>bullet for my valentine blaring in my ears
>only had 5 songs on that iPod
>installed them that morning
>listened to the same 5 songs on repeat all day bc I was so goddamn proud of that device
>fat momma hugs everyone and introduces herself and kids
>small baby still breathing, fortunately
>Riley kinda waves and mutters "Hi"
>shy as shit
>Nathan fist bumps meh
>bro
>before the bro fist was gay
>hear mom yell from upstairs that dinner was getting close to being ready
>oh fuck yes, ham
>I can devour an entire christmas ham in minutes
>or at least I think I can
>let everyone else in front of me
>get a glance at Riley's scrumptious ass on the way up the stairs
>pitching a huge tent
>mMMM need that in my life, gurl

Bumping

>make it upstairs with my third leg weighing me down
>afraid I might turn too fast and knock somebody down
>"911 what is your emergency?"
>"Cock club mk. II"
>make it to kitchen and the sweet smell of ham fills my lungs
>and some cigarette smoke
>how the fuck do people do that in a house this nice
>uncle doesn't give a shit
>he's playing cards at the end of the counter with other uncles
>first in line for huge slice of ham
>stuffing, corn, bunch of other shit
>hawt damn
>realize I didn't leave enough space on my plate for Riley to hop on
>ohwell.jpg
>shuffle into living room bc dining room table full of old people
>old people that smell
>old people that blow their nose in a handkerchief and then put the same goddamn thing back in their pocket
>because that's appetizing
>heart drops into gut when Riley comes through the doorway
>she must not like old people smell or snotty hand rags either
>but she must really like ham
>hugeslice.jpg
>I love me a woman who knows her ham
>sits beside me on the couch
>important info because there were 4 couches in this room
>I told you bigassmansion.jpg for a reason
>bc this shit is big

Le outdated bump

Bumperino

>silently eat
>awkward children
>awkward because I want to vigorously plow the gorgeous creature sitting next to me stuffing her face with ham
>should be stuffing herself with my ham
>kek
>blurt out "jesus mom makes a damn good pig"
>wtf user
>you don't just mention your mother's ability to roast hogs to people you want to be inside
>she giggles
>GIGGLES
>oh shit she's cute
>ohfuck.jpg
>"yeah I think so. Mom can't cook anything right. She's not like Maw-Maw. Dad always cooks everything at our place"
>Dad? Didin't see a man with fat momma
>"He's back at home working, couldn't get off long enough to come down"
>#DaddyIssues.jpg?
>lol nope
>awkwardly sit in silence again bc don't know how to follow up that amazing ham comment
>watching a girl eat is so sexy
>no I don't know why dammit, just is
>the way she moves her jaw muscles
>the way she handles her silverwear
>the way her tits jiggle every time she cuts her ham

Dont you fucking die on me!

Bumparoo

Any pics user?

TYPE FASTER YOU SLUT

Continue

DONT KILL THIS FUCKING THREAD!

>>see her walk up stairs
>>for the fuck of it follow her

>> smack her ass
>>she goes "stop smacking my ass"
>>i reply cousins stuff is good as any

Lrn2pretype user

>>riley says "come here user"
>>whispers in my ear "i need bout tree fitty"
>>and i was all "got dammit monsta!"

Beauty cannot be rushed, my children

>I need that. now
>toss plate aside and straddle her on the couch
>no that's not what happened at all
>sorry
>start asking her about school
>which is always an awful conversation
>who the fuck wants to talk about school when you're 14?
>made decent grades, had decent friends
>my life is decent
>she was a cheerleader, omg
>had the body for it
>would love to see that ass bounce around in a skirt
>she laughs at my dumbass jokes
>the only people that do that are my friends and my left hand
>grandpa walks in a cock blocks
>"hey we're gonna open presents in here when everybody is done eating"
>conclude dinner about 30 minutes
>after tons more ham
>I really fucking love ham
>old people pour in with wrapped boxes
>jesus they're like kids

BUMP

>one uncle gets really weird dog hat
>crawls around on the floor barking at people
>wtf.jpg
>help, God has abandoned us
>unwrap a yo-yo
>oh
>fuck
>YES
>secret love for yo-yo
>grandparents know this
>grandparents are good
>grandparents provide me with yo-yo
>after everyone is settled in talking, retreat outside to play with yo-yo
>see Riley and Nathan making snowballs
>Riley gets nailed in the face
>at least 50 mph
>houston, she's done
>ouch
>point and laugh
>Nathan points and laughs too
>Riley growls and throws huge pile of snow on Nathan's head
>he's dead, Jim
>nah but he was down for the count
>she smiles all evil-sexy like
>pelts me with one when I'm not paying attention
>oh it's on girl
>take off after her while she runs around backside of house

TRUMP

>and my left hand
kek

>snowball in hand
>ready to strike
>nail her in back of the head
>her hair gets wet
>girly scream
>make fun of girl scream
>"you scream like a girl"
>no shit, user
>she runs up and pins my arm behind me
>do I grab like a girl?
>pretend yawn
>she's getting agitated
>lol mad girls are cute
>"nope, you grab like a chihuahua"
>she bites my shoulder
>oh shit why did that turn me on?
>she barks
>oh no my uncle has transformed her
>RIP Riley
>gotta put her down
>nah but she tries to pin my other arm
>flip her around and shove her back into garage
>easy bc icy ground

bumpppp

Bumpy

>shove her back into huge couch/chair thing
>like it was some kind of outdoor couch but it wasn't quite big enough to be considered a full couch
>but it had cushions and shit
>and it was in the garage
>in front of the fireplace
>the fireplace in the garage
>mfw uncle is loaded
>Riley looks up at me
>laying down on the couch
>dirty blonde hair a mess
>breathing heavily
>tits rising and falling
>unzip pants and shove cock in her mouth
>no no no but that's what you guys want isn't it?
>impatient fuckers
>flop in smaller couch/chair beside the one she's on
>an entire living room set and a fireplace is in this goddamn garage
>right in front of the four-wheeler
>"you wanna try something like that again, woman?"
>them's fighting words
>Riley shakes her head
>"nope, looks like you win this time"
>figure Nathan went back in the house
>thought about going myself but too tired
>too many old people
>the smell
>the snot
>just, no

>Uncle's new wife's grandkids
Step cousins or something

So it's not even really incest. If it involves step or cousin, it barely counts, but step cousins doesn't count to at all. Continue anyway.

Stop being so slow

faster

...

So not actually related. And a stranger at that. No observable Winchester user, not even a whiff of a hint of wincest.

But continue anyway. You've come this far, may as well finish this fantasy of yours.

That's not wincest fuck nugget.

Goddammit autocorrect. Though Winchester isn't bad. Good job autocorrect, carry on.

More, keel it coming fag

"ur 2 slow, OP"
I didn't pre-type this ya goddamn animals

>just kind of lay there for a while
>silence again
>fire hisses
>gas fireplace
>no crackling wood sound
>still warm as fuck
>uncle lives in arizona
>he uses this house like twice a year
>wtf
>want
>Riley poking around on her phone
>first generation iPhone
>jesus christ I want
>playing the toilet paper roll game
>we all had that game, don't lie
>tell her I can beat her score
>she calls bullshit
>I can't ignore this challenge to my manliness
>prepare to lose, woman
>grab her phone and swipe faster than I've swiped ever before
>which wasn't very fast since I just got my new iPod
>still, beat her score into the dust
>"wtf user, how did you do that?"
>had actually played the game on friend's iPod but told her that it was all in the finger technique
>"I could show you how to git gud"
>lol excuse to hold her hands

Bump

The fact you aren't really related is a plus for me, I just read wincest for the storytelling.

Continue...

PLEASE MORE
I'm laughing my ass off, holy shit dude.

>grab her hands and swipe her finger down that virtual toilet paper roll like my life depended on it
>beat my previous score with someone else's hand
>"jesus I could never move my hand that fast on my own"
>"lots of practice"
>"eww, user!"
>lol wut
>"what do you mean ew?"
>"Some people don't like to hear about that kinda stuff y'know"
>aw hell
>dis bitch dun thinking I tell her I beat my meat at hypersonic speeds
>which I do
>and I was gonna do it later that night while thinking about that gorgeous pair of tits
>but not at that moment
>but a chance to talk about my dick with pretty girl
>can't pass that up, silly
>"what if I do?
>oh no
>the point of no return
>we were either about to have a conversation about my foreskin travelling at mach speed
>or she was about to leave the room in disgust

blyat

cyka?

Funniest thread all day. Carry on OP.

>We were either about to have a conversation about my foreskin traveling at mach speed or she was about to leave the room in disgust.

I'm fucking loosing it dude.
/K/OMRADE

>"I mean you're not the first guy I hear go on about it"
>OKAYSOTHISISGOINGSOMEWHEREMAYBE.jpg
>"I don't talk about it all the time y'know"
>"Guys at school won't shut up about it"
>"What can I say? Feels good lol"
>feels GREAT
>especially when its going all over your face
>shhh not now, penis, not now
>"but why talk about it so much?"
>"don't girls?"
>"NO"
>freckles get darker
>oh shit she's blushing
>oh shit she's cute
>oh shit this boner is coming back
>actually he had been there since we began talking about him
>but now he was hellbent on making his presence known
>bashing against the walls of my denim prison
>seeking to claim the power of the world as his own
>to broaden his horizons
>fuck bitches
>acquire currency
>get a nice quiet place somewhere in southern florida with his wife

CYKA BLYAT VODKA STALIN

smirnov smirnov stalin stalin cyka cyka

idi nahoi

this has become a slav thread

>"Do you even do it though?"
>"user"
>"Wuuuut, I told you"
>wink
>oh shit I just winked
>bad move
>looks like a 5 year old trying to flirt with another five year old from across the room
>and he doesn't know what a boner even is but he just knows that he wants to lick her inner thigh for some reason
>whoa, that almost went in a weird direction
>Riley kinda sits there and just blushes for a minute
>tick tock cunt I'm not getting any younger
>start to turn to walk away
>"A few times"
>oh?
>oH
>OHHHHH
>head fills with images of Riley fornicating herself with a shaved carrot
>maybe not a carrot
>maybe she has to use a carrot though
>can 14 year old girls afford dildos?
>think about asking her what color hers is
>letsnot.jpg
>"Like just once or twice?"
>Pretend like i'm writing on a note pad
>"Just like 2 or 3 times..."
>"Yes...and how does that make you feel?"
>She giggles again
>My boner detects giggling in the immediate vicinity
>he thirsts for the chance to pounce
>down, boy
>down

>down, boy
>down
kek

The lurk is real, pls user type with godspeed

Go on

Would probably go faster if each post wasnt all filler garbage

Im fucking dying of laughter and boner. keep going OP

The build up is good you fucking nerd

This man speaks for all of us.

Hurry up fucker.

Fuck off, I crave suspence

>Pic Related.
Please, OP, you fucking nigger type faster. I hope someone is gonna screencap all this.

dinosaurdinosaurdinosaurdinosaurdinosaurdinosaurdinosaurdinosaurdinosaurdinosaurdinosaurdinosaurdinosaurdinosaurdinosaurdinosaurdinosaurdinosaurdinosaurdinosaurdinosaurdinosaurdinosaurdinosaurdinosaurdinosaurdinosaurdinosaurdinosaurdinosaurdinosaurdinosaur

>"Kinda hurt"
>lol what
>sex can't hurt
>bitch, you're broken
>the fuck you talking about
>no idea how vaginas work
>thought you just stuck it in and humped til good feelings
>"How? You're doing it wrong!"
>"Am not! I know how it works"
>grin
>"Guess you're just broken"
>"Hey!"
>could see she was visibly getting flustered
>didn't wanna piss her off
>but didn't wanna drop the subject either
>keep in mind this all started because of a virtual roll of toilet paper
>"It's supposed to feel good"
>points at my tent, which was now fighting tooth and nail to escape his prison
>"See? It feels good when I rub mine. That's how I know."
>then she does it
>she just fucking grabs it
>this is not a drill
>this isn't where I say "no no that didn't happen" because it fucking DID happen
>frozen where I stand
>this beautiful freckled blonde creature who I had recent thoughts of carrot fornication about had her hand firmly on my denim-covered schlong

...

We know it's fake af, still interesting

>This is not a drill
Somebody better screencap this whole thing.

yes finally

why are these photos getting deleted

Bumpy mcbumperson bumps all over. Too many bumps. I should see a docter

>and I fucking came everywhere
>not quiet yet but damn did I want to
>up until now, my left hand had been the only palm to grace this particular appendage of mine
>"Riley"
>"Like this?"
>rubs her hand up and down
>awkward handjob through jeans
>feel like cock is going to explode
>"Jesus we shouldn't..."
>OP STFU
>okay sorry
>stood there in silence while getting my dick rubbed through my jeans
>just did it
>didn't think about it
>just reached down and grabbed one of those yummy looking organic milk bags
>boner intensifies beyond all possible measure
>OhMommaIcanHearYouCryin
>shivers all over my body
>step back
>WHY THE FUCK did I step back
>dunno lol just did

If he's rich why is he marrying some bitch with grankids, what a fucking tard.

BUMPITY BUMP BUMP

whoa

beautiful

Looks like we're nearing the... *puts on shades* climax of the story

Bumpity bump bump

This thread started nearly an hour and a half ago. OP has posted 14 times. You type entirely too slow.

probably masturbating while writing...

His dick would be red raw by now

I went and ate dinner, watched a tv show, came back and there were only 3 more fucking posts. OP must have Parkinson's disease.

...

What age is she

...

allegedly 14

legal age obviously

...

This is gold

is someone archiving this this thread is fucking amazing. oh my god.

OP has died. Abandon thread.

last post was like 20 mins ago

Dont bite the hand that feeds you fap and keks

it's a problem.

OP must be tired i reccomend a nap then carry on

I miss OP

At least finish with a ''IF YOU DON'T REPLY TO THIS POST''

Op...

...

My grandpa used to tell stories of when op first posted now I tell my grandchildren

...