Be me

>Be me
>Beta, in 30s, white, solid 3/10
>Coworker, let's call him D, looks like a melting candle, 300 pounds
>Eating a sandwich
>His wife made it
>wtf?
>Never knew he had a wife
>Just got married apparently
>Ask him about wife
>Shows me picture
>Holy shit.gif
>10/10 sea monkey from Thailand or some shit
>Perfect tits, gorgeous face, I'm a fucking diamond down there
>Ask him how they met
>Internet
>Oh okay, ask for more details
>Bought her from the Philippines or something
>wtf
>he bought some bitch to be his personal sex toy
>sweet
>ask for the webpage
>he gives it to me, something on the dark web
>later that night i go on

fake and gay

>basically match.com but every woman is a gorgeous latina/indonesian looking girl
>they are good little girls, untainted by SJW cancer, traditional brides who would cook and clean with a smile on their face
>Each photo has a description underneath with a name
>J, 21, loves to clean and cook
>G, 18, loves to fuck
>Suddenly I see a girl named L
>Click on her photo
>Holy fucking shit
>Asian height but tits are huge, D cup maybe
>Can sing, dance, cook, bunch of shit
>Unzip and explode all over my hands
>Wipe them with a tissue paper and click Marry Me
>Pay with credit card
>Two months' salary but for a grill like this it's just pennies
>"Your first shipment will come in three to six weeks."
>wtf
>well shit
>did I just spend $6,000 on a blow up doll

>go ask D later
>he's scarfing down a perfectly seared kebab about twice the size of his fist
>"You'll see"
>He's really vague about this but okay
>Over the weeks his lunches grow more and more elaborate
>One day he gets a bento box of 20 raw salmons on rice
>Another day his wife has time to make a souffle, this girl must be an angel
>Another day it's a paella
>And so on and so on
>I shiver in anticipation, maybe she has a lot of stuff so that's the first shipment?
>Three weeks later I get a package at the front door
>About half a meter long, I shake it, hear the sound of something big bumping around in there
>Here goes
>Tear off the cardboard and pull out a human leg
>It's brown, fresh, bloodless and it flexes
>Wtf
>Holy shit wtf wtf I never asked for this
>There's a manual inside
>I'm gonna return this shit I'm gonna
>open up the first page
"Dear Sir,

We congratulate you on your excellent choice. L is a wonderful choice and she can easily
be trained to make your favorite American dishes, and perhaps to satisfy your other appetites
as well. Because of the costs of handling, carrying and shipping we are forced to send her on an
installation basis."

>No return address
>Next pages are full of instructions
>I have to submerge the leg in a bathtub full of water over the next few weeks
>I don't think it's a human body, if it were it would never have gotten past customs
>Can't ask for refunds, might as well do this
>Fill bathtub with water and put leg in
>It fills the bathtub with a murky pinkish substance
>I leave it there
>Over the next few weeks D gets fatter and fatter
>Comes to work late
>His lunches get better and better though
>He gets green curry one week with onions and bell peppers
>Another week, he gets sisig, which is pork ears and other nasty shit that he lets me have a taste of
>Holy shit this is amazing
>Another week its borscht, a reddish soup thing with beetroot and all sorts of odd shit
>Another week it's some rice thing called fufu
>He smells, he changes his clothes once every three days, he starts to look like a hobo
>But his grin only grows wider and wider
>His wife has been taking care of him
>Three weeks later I get the second package
>It's the other leg
>Leave it in the bathtub, nowadays I shower in the cubicle, saves water and leaves me clean
>D starts to give me all his lunches
>He looks like a Piers Morgan statue made of sugar after someone throws ten buckets of water over it
>Fucking degenerate
>Tell him I'm waiting for the third package
>he smiles at me, tells me I'm in for something good
>When package 3 arrives, it's a human torso all the way up to the ribcage, which is seemingly sealed off by skin without so much as a scratch
>there are holes in the pelvis for the legs
>Her abs form the faintest of lines down her stomach
>Her stomach is so pure and chocolatey brown, like a chalice upon which I shall spill my seed
>Stick my finger down there, her cunt is actually wet and fleshy, I get aroused just feeling around inside
>Put it in the bathtub

the fuck

LURKIN THIS WEIRD SHIT, KEEP GOING.

>Later that night I feel a warmth pressing against me
>Wake up and turn on the light, feel a wetness on my cock
>Shit I've wet the bed
>No
>It's the half-formed human body straddling me, desperately pressing against my cock
>Is this a dream
>I pinch myself and poke myself, I can't pull my skin out nor can I poke a hole in my body, this is real
>I want to scream but it feels so damn good
>I turn out the lights
>Stick my dick in, it's so warm inside
>The lower half shivers as if trying to take me in
>I pump once, twice, thrice, then release the kraken inside her
>Turn on the lights and leave the torso with legs in the bathtub
>It seems pleased

Pic related is what it looks like, only brown, like a Mexican girl. Minus the tits.

>D gets worse and worse with each passing day
>He barely gets any sleep because his wife was keeping him up at night
>All this for a sex doll?
>Ask him about it, he's as vague as ever.
>"You don't question pussy" he says.
>The possessed sex doll and I begin building a loving relationship
>It screws me every other night on average
>When package 4 comes, it's the rest of the torso minus the head and arms
>Tits are exactly as it sounds
>Two luscious sacks of feminity just begging to nurse my cock
>I put it in the bathtub, the water seals it to the rest of the body I dunno
>Sex becomes a lot more interesting
>There's more to touch and feel and use, and I cum on the body's tits every now and again
>It begins climbing out of the bathtub

Moaar

...

the fuck am i reading

moar

The fuck is this story xD?

CONTINUE OP! WANT MOAR!

>She can feel her way around the house
>I feel strangely like a father and the lover of a blind woman, sometimes both at the same time
>The neighbors will never see her but that's okay, she and I are two of soul
>I sometimes have to tell her to stay in the bathtub
>Packages 5 and 6 are the arms and sex gets even better from there
>One day I find out D has been fired
>Kinda sad about it, he was a pretty nice guy even though he was a bit of a beta
>Go home
>Snap at my headless sex slave when she bothers me, probably for sex?
>Go up to watch TV, come back down and she's made a dinner for me
>I bite into it
>I gag
>I pass out

Should I continue?

...

Yes, you faggot

>I wake up in the hospital, I have no fucking idea what happened or how they found me
>Apparently a piece of glass got stuck in my throat
>That's it, I'm calling the cops
>I managed to stagger outside before hitting my head, the neighbors found me
>I'm genuinely worried for my own health and safety, this bitch must be destroyed
>Check into a seedy motel and wait it out
>I pick up the phone and dial 911
>I can't
>I just can't for some reason
>She's just too perfect
>Besides she doesn't even have a head, who's to say it wasn't an accident
>I drift into work and out of work, decide to pay a visit to D

Posting random images right now. I will not disclose who D or his wife are, nor who I am, nor where I live.

Continue!

The story actually seems suprisingly interesting lmao.

fake and gay but i respect the creativity, continue

no shit sherlock

>I will not disclose who D or his wife are, nor who I am, nor where I live.

Drop trying to make the story seem real tho, it's obviously not.

yes go on

Put me in the screencap bois

Body arrives in pieces, assembles itself in water: fine.
Hospital receives patient with stab wound in throat, doesn't call cops: story becomes completely unbelievable.

What is wrong with me?

That's a f*cking good thread! Hope you can give me the website address!

I didn't get stabbed, I swallowed the glass. Forgot to mention it. It was clearly from a drinking glass, like a cup, so I told them I had accidentally swallowed the glass, believing it.

Plus, if I called the police they would come search my house and find my secret. I don't want them taking my angel from me.

Put me in the screencap faggots

Put me in it to, Dee da lee lee lee.

Bump for story

Posting in the best thread of the month.

fake and gay

>He's in a wheelchair now, his wife is every bit as gorgeous in person
>He's wolfing down a sandwich too big for even his engorged frame
>He winks at me to say "This is it. All worth it."
>He must have gotten glass stuck in his throat as well
>Maybe this is what marriage is all about
>Two pieces of a puzzle trying to fit together and conflict is just the edges filing each other off
>But he's all good now and so was I
>I have no idea where he is and I have not seen him to this day
>For all I know his wife could be the one working
>He could easily pass for a billionaire after suffering a massive stroke, wheelchair ridden and with a hollow smile
>Nobody has had any issues with me and with any luck the authorities won't come
>Get in car, turn on the radio to Rod Stewart's Young Turks and drive home

Moar

moar plz

I'll nominate myself for the year, thank you very much.

Keep bumping bros

I NEED MOAR

Best treat i have seen in months.

Keep it cumming

Story makes me horny

Bampski

Please continue. And give me a (You). pls

Bump sounds like a black mirror story line.

>0/10 thread for lack of pizza

...

Shit ending

Bump

I remember this for some time ago. Not sure if it was a short story or a thread on here or a pasta. Or my brain is being fucked up about dejah vu.

...

So did you ever receive the head?

>Go home, last package is in
>It's the head
>Tear the box open, slowly taking out the styrofoam so as not to damage her face
>Her cheekbones subtend the skin of her cheeks like a pole to a tent, reflecting the sunlight, coloring it shades lighter
>Impressed against that sheen of brown are her dark, chocolate eyes
>Her forehead wrinkles up when she sees me, her face like a deer's seeing a human for the first time
>I hold her by the hair like an executioner displaying my victim to the crowd
>She looks at me so gently that I readjust myself, cradling her cranium like a baby
>My fingers brush against her jaw and down her neck
>The head laughs and twitches, obviously tickled
>She looks deep into my eyes and smiles and I kiss her
>Now that her eyes are with her, she won't be making mistakes with the glass no more
>I kiss her, a long deep passionate kiss, and carry my wife over the threshold into my home.

Keep going OP

There's an epilogue, hold on.

Hey put me in the sceencap faggot also bump after you done

Put me in the screencap even though I dislike this thread Ron Paul 2012

you better not fucking stop after the epilogue either.

Bump

>To this day she never told me whether she is a sex doll or not.
>For all I know she could be a possessed pile of plastic
>Her story is interesting in itself though
>She tells me she was born in a remote island in the Philippines or something
>Called Siquijor
>She was poor growing up but she married me, she admits, in search of a better life
>It's okay, I guess we all marry in search of a better life, one with someone we love
>One night I ask her if she is a sex doll, jokingly
>She tells me, again, she doesn't know.
>I've tried to research the life expectancy of witchcraft-imbued plastic humanoids but I haven't had much success mostly due to the lack of case studies.
>She could very well live long after I'm gone, and my aged face will see hers, as youthful as ever, before I drift away
>Still, she tells me, that doesn't bother me.
>"Kuya user" (that's an honorific in her language, it means something like senpai)
>"I know that to love you I might need to watch the world move past you."
>"But such short years can make an eternity worth living."

Ask me anything.

KONY2012

Let me be in the screencap faggots

no fucking the head = fake

What fucking drugs are you on, and where can I buy some

How's the fat guy now?

Story was better than the end

Seconding this. You've been buying something form the darkweb, but it aint sexdolls.

booo.

i wanna hear more about that jabba motherfucker in the wheelchair

Link to the site

Pics?

How's the food? Are you putting on weight?

>>He looks like a Piers Morgan statue made of sugar after someone throws ten buckets of water over it

I'm dying

10/10 thread OP

femanon approves

Here's my Snapchat
Have some nudes

Ayeshiaamaee

>During the Spanish colonial period of the Philippines, the Spaniards called the island Island of Fire (Spanish: Isla del Fuego). Siquijor is commonly associated with mystic traditions that the island's growing tourism industry capitalizes on.

Berry interdasting.

As I said, I haven't seen D for a long time now. I think his family has a history of diabetes so it wouldn't surprise me if he's in the hospital. He was a pretty solid guy with credentials so I think he should have found another job. I sometimes miss him though but I'm thankful he found love. Maybe you too will find love one day Sup Forumsros.

What do you want to know?

She makes a lot of Asian stuff for me. You should try to make beef rendang for yourself. If you have a lot of meat, some soy sauce, vinegar and garlic look up a recipe for adobo. I'm not really into Asian shit but damn can she cook.

You should just ask around, you'll get there eventually.

No.

Oh, we did have some fun. I made the head give me a blowjob then when she told me she wanted to try masochism I used the head as a football and pretended I was the greatest footballer ever, Maradona, while doing keepy uppies. Finally I left the head in the bathtub and pulled the rest of the body out so I could give her head two different ways at the same time.

Is D's name Diabeetus?

OP I love you
How do I contact you

/femanon here/

Ignored the drugs question.

sage goes in all fields, this is now a spiderman thread

Tits and timestamp

My wife is Asian. Give her some meat, soy sauce, garlic, ginger, rice, and stir fry veggies and you'll eat like a king.

This is beautiful

Filipfag here, doesn't kuya mean brother?

This is an incest story confirmed.

That's it?

Where the fuck are your tits and timestamp?

>What do you want to know?

well for one, what kinda sandwich he was eating.. I'm trying to bulk up some and I could really use the calorie boost

Same place your dignity is you fat sweaty cunt

Pics or it didn't happen. Also timestamp.

Fuck off. This story was better than the same old YLYL, rate, feminine penis, rekt, or banana threads

>Maradona
>not Pelé

Dignity is overrated

Welcome to Sup Forums, gash.
Lurk moar.

So are tits
If you're that desperate for tits you're probably 12 years old

Just watch porn mate

you fuck off, you said AMA. you could have made something epic up, like moon goblins or some shit. you went and ignored.

I'm not sweaty you fucking idiot it's winter

more

Elvis Special for bulking. Peanut butter, bananas, bacon, maple syrup, and cream cheese. You'll bulk huge, bro.

Time to stop being a newfag

I'm not OP you fucking sperg. Go away.

sage

did you have to name her, or did she come with a name?

if you named her, was it "Chinky"?

I want to go visit the Philippines one day with my wife. She could tour me around Siquijor.

I only need Viagra and that's rare, getting an erection is never hard with her around.

Look up adobo, sisig, tapa, Bicol express, yema, bibingka, all this shit I've eaten with her around.

Kuya ay "brother" sa Ingles, pero kuya ay "boss, older male, someone you look up to." I'm sorry if that was really bad, my wife is teaching me Filipino but I wsa never good with languages.

It was just chock full of meat, probably some really fatty pork or some shit

Pele can never match Maradona but he is a very good player. I rate Maradona as the GOAT, then Messi, then Pele. www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wVho3I0NtU Also I am not South American and I am a Dortmund fan so don't say I'm biased.

Ladies, ladies, you're all pretty, but you can never be as pretty as my wife.

She told me her name but I won't disclose that information here.

I will only talk about this via Sup Forums, if you're looking for sex, nothing, nothing can come close to her.

>greatest footballer ever, Maradona
goddammit i thought this was a good thread but OP is just some bolludo from argentina making Marafatso propaganda, abandon thread guys.
Argentino otario, Pelé é melhor.