Secrets thread

Secrets thread.

If you're on Sup Forums on X-mas eve, you got 'em. Confess yours.

...

>oh good
>this autism again

My moms car fongerd me in my friend

I'm taking a massive shit right now. Friends just came over for dinner and finally got to start drinking, and immediately have diarrhea.

confess or get the fuck out faggot

forced to go to church with wife and in-laws tonight.

will hate every fucking second of it.

I have a super secret secret. Ops a faggot

Fuck that's the worst. Don't force farts and you'll "mind over matter" it

Normally you're right but this was gonna come out whether I clenched or not.

Regularly fill YLYL threads with banana

You sick bastard.

...

just sat down to wrap presents and realized I have some really shitty presents and not enough of them.

Fucked my best friend's little sister. Shit was cash, especially since she had graduation in two days' time.

I had a cross-dressing fetish in high school and would wear my mom's underwear.

Green text?

I fucked my cousin once a long time ago, and I think she got traumatised by it. But lately she has been staring at me like she wants to fuck me, her mother visits my house everyday. And deep inside myself I am silently laughing.

Green teeeext

There is a UFO that appears outside of my window every couple of days. But it's so far away that if I took a picture of it with my crappy phone it would just look like a regular star.

It's sitting much lower on the horizon line than all the other stars. It sits in the sky in the same spot for hours. But much further up in the sky than any man made structure could reach. And if I look at it, it looks like it's twinkling and flashing these red and blue colors over and over very quickly.

Not even kidding or trolling. Idk what it is.

I can't get over my ex, it's been 10 years. I have new fiancé & a new life but think of her every second. I have no interest in anything without her.

Not really a green text-worthy tale. Long story short, she hit on me and flirted with me to get back at her parents for taking her car away cause she got a ticket for speeding. Me, being horny and wanting to fulfill a "what if" moment, kissed her and later, fucked her in my car and her room. We fucked a lot for a period of two weeks, and we did it everywhere: her room, her living room floor, living room couch, her parents' bed, even gave me a bj on her bro's (my best friend) bed. She was horny and I was only too willing to scratch her itch.

how old were each of you the first time you fucked?

how old are you now?

Preparing green text gimme a min

Would be nice if I could keep my mind off her for a while until she either says something or that the feelings fade.

But people I know constantly mention her, so that ain't happening

>This one time, YEARS ago, when I was about 16 and she was 14
>Her mother came to visit
>Known her for all her life
>She started wearing tight ass jeans, she has an ass that would rival any out here
>I'm in my room (room's pretty big)
>she always comes to my room to play or something, or to just hang out
>This one time she had an album with her
>Pictures of me n her from like when we were toddlers
>she tells me she wants to flip through them with me
>we jump on my couch and start flipping through it
>each second that passes we get closer to each other
>we start cuddling
>I put my hand on her lap
>she enjoys it but doesn't know what to do
>kind of in shock
>tell her i find her sexy
>run my hand up to her no-no zone
>start rubbing
>she moans
>things escalate quickly
>before I know it, my dick is out
>she doesn't really know what to do
>tell her it's alright
>she grabs my dick and starts stroking, but that shit was so amateurish
>still tho
>i unbutton her pants, tell her to stand up and take it off
>she takes it off
>she sits on my lap and starts riding me
>she's virgin, so it hurts for her
>but the longer it goes on the more she enjoyed
>going at it for like 2 mins
>her mom calls, she gets dressed like hell and then leaves without saying a word

I am sitting here alone because I didn't want to spend the money to go home for Christmas and see my family, so I made up a lie about how I can't see them because of work.

By family, I mean my cousin who is much older is kind of like a mom to me and my uncle who is more like a cool grandpa. Anyway, they're both upset and I'm kind of starting to feel bad for being so thoughtless.

There's also my brother back home, but throughout our whole lives we've barely even spoken to each other. We don't necessarily have ill will towards each other, at least I don't against him, and he doesn't express ill will towards me. We really just don't care about each other as much as people say siblings should.

My mother and father are still alive. Although, I do despise them both. I have fantasies about beating my father to death with my bare fists. I fantasize about raping my mother then beating her senseless, but not killing her.

I wasn't really abused as a child, though. Just neglected really.

>i am 20 now going on 21
>she's 18
>throughout the years, i can see she really tried her best to pretend like it never happened
>I was kind of chubby in my early teen years but now I train a lot so i have a good physique
>one time she entered my room while I was wearing no shirt and idk ever since then she kind of always gives me this look like she wants to rail the fuck out of me.

but why

edge

its obviously important if he does it regularly

you remind me of my best friend. Same kind of personality and view on life, same relationship with parents, same relationship with brother.

and my best friend is a sad sack of shit so... i can only imagine how you feel.

Because I really really like that image

I raped my younger self when I went back to the past/ It just felt soo good.

Pics or it didn't happen.

My full house full housed me in the back of my full house is a miller boyett production and you just lost the game.

...

yeah me too. hair brush handle. dogs dick. I raped myself with all kinds of stuff when I was young, horny as fuck and no real sex in sight.

She's perfect.

Cute, funny, we share all the same interests. She's always been super supportive of me, and I of her when she needed it.

We make time for each other, even though we are both super busy. Every time we do hang, it's a blast.

The only reason she's not my girlfriend is because her worthless cunt of a boyfriend asked her out one week before I met her.

She even said she would have been dating me if she hadn't met him. Go ahead and call me whatever you want. The only thing I hate more than this would be to hurt her. God... I hate that she's happy with him.

Honestly, it's probably a planet.

meh at least you aren't siblings :D

Awwwwww, Satan is still in love...

point google sky map at it. It's probably saturn.

I have to go to dinner at my father's friend's house tomorrow. His father's friend is really annoying, and he's being really annoying about how I should think of things to talk about like I'm going in for a fucking job interview, because he thinks of me as a child. I hope next year I can just go "oh yeah, it's Christmas" and move on.

My father's friend is really annoying*

nice trips devilscum

but you should really contact your ex and attempt to get closure, or is that impossible?

I walked into my dealers home the other day and took out 13.5 grams and wrote him a note and put money under his sofachair.
I told him I was on my way and he said "yeah im not home but david is" and I went inside and david was not there.
waited for a good while and then decided to do what I did.
I payed for everything I took but now he is pissed.

I'm going to probably just hand him back the stuff but I wont do it without the money of course...
In any case, how retarded was what I did?
This dealer is not a sketchy guy btw.

...

> Survey the area while driving home from work every day.
> Never stop. Never stare. But always be learning her routine. Find out when the bus picks her up and drops her off.
> Find local phone boxes in the area.
> Start beige boxing them late at night/early in the morning when nobody is awake, to find out which line matches the number found in the white pages that matches her address.
> Consistently beige box that number at that box to learn family's plans.
> Find out when she will be home by herself.
> Since it's rural area, neighbors too far away to see/notice anything.
> Knock on door with clipboard and pen and fake census worker id.
> Shoddy fabrication, but good enough to fool a 10yo.
> Ask to speak to her parents. She should know better than to say they aren't home, but she's ten. Stay outside, calm, patient.
> Say, "That's okay. Can you call them for me?"
> She goes inside. She comes back. Funny... The phone doesn't seem to be working.

if shes happy with him... then obviously youre not good enough. She would have just settled with you but this dude sounds like prime rib, sorry mate

> Well how 'bout that! Bridged terminals on the phone box down the road saw to that.
> "May I come in? I would like to ask you some questions."
> Friendly. Polite. Clearly if any harm had been meant, would have only had to force way in as soon as she said parents weren't home.
> Be welcomed inside.
> Ask mundane questions about size of family, parents' jobs, school.
> Dad's working on a fix for y2k? How cool!
> Ask about likes, etc. Oh, she has an n64? Has that superman game but doesn't really like it. Ah, too bad.
> Wants a dog, but parents say no? Sorry to hear that.
> "You know, I live just down the road and my dog just had puppies last week. My wife wants to give them away. I know your parents said you can't have one, but would you like to see mine before they are gone?"
> Her face lights up. Of course she would!
> Trust has been gained.

> She gets in the car willingly.
> Drive away.
> It isn't until the car pulls into the "driveway" that she seems confused, suspicious.
> It's actually just a fire trail in the backwoods. She was so busy bobbing her head in tune to N'Sync on Q94 that she didn't get suspicious until it was too late.
> Now comes the knockout punch.
> Her lip is bleeding and she's already unconscious.

> You know what comes next. The brand new expensive digital camcorder will preserve this memory for years to come.
> Her soft pink nipples. Her hairless bug.
> Plow her virgin girlhood. Get it all on tape.

> When she starts to wake, another fist to the face. Finally when finished, just squeeze her little throat until she stops breathing.
> Her breath and heart still and silent, the thrill and adrenaline clouding all else, take a deep breath and calm down. Allow heart rate to slow.

> Drive to the abandoned house. Nobody is around. Prince George county is pretty isolated. The old well is uncovered. Just drop her in.

> No mess. No body to be found.

> A little blood from her girlhood on the blanket and plastic sheet. Those go with her.

> A little blood on the knuckles and the passenger seat.
> Can't take any chances.
> A month later the car is "stolen" and found burned up a few miles away. (Walking home at 3AM is no fun.)
> Didn't want to wait so long, but any sooner while missing girl is on police's radar seems a little too risky.

> A few years later, they tear down that house. They build a storage shed there. The well gets a big blue plastic cap on it.

> This was over a decade and a half ago.
> To this day, nobody knows.

> Except Sup Forums

> Nobody will believe it. Nobody will even try to find out anything else.

You poor bastard. I'm sorry. Hopefully your wife is worth that kind of shit.

If you paid him wtf is the problem? He must be skimping people so he's pissed you took the right amount and now he won't make what he usually makes. You're a dumbass, but so is he

nice roleplay faggot

Sounds like good pussy. Are you planning on keeping at it or backing off to play it safe?

:3

>bobbing her head in tune to N'Sync on Q94

Q94 could refer to:

CHIQ. Q94 in Winnipeg, Manitoba
WRVQ, Q94 in Richmond, Virginia
WBXQ, Q94 in Altoona, Pennsylvania
KQXY, Q94 in Beaumont, Texas

Yeah I know I dont feel there is a problem...
And I payed him more than what I usually do, not alot but a little bit cause I kinda went behind his back.
But he sent me a message saying "you have to pay alot more... like what the actual fuck?"
which is fucking BS...

Don't forget Prince George county

Legit makes no sense. Maybe he's just mad you took it yourself. Things don't really add up here

I'm sorry to hear that, Satan.

Hopefully your current girl is hot at hell.

Or it's better weed than usual so he was gonna charge you more

I wanna fuck my co-worker, I feel like she knows this but I'll see if she's doing anything on new years. Also I wanna fuck her client she's hot too

Just in high school? Have you since grown out of the fetish?

Divorce her you little nigger faggot

yeah that might be it, I said so in the note that if it was better weed he just had to send me a message, but I payed in the mindset that it was better than usual weed.
Normal price for this weed is around 175
but I bought 13.5g grams
Last time I bought 24 for 3200
and this time I thought 13.5 for 2000 would be paying quite a bit...

If it makes you feel any better, I'm 2000 miles away from my family.
My mother is a Jesus freak/oversized child, and my dad really has no interest in me- so I guess I kind of prefer it that way. Still, it would be nice to have a family. I think about it a lot.

I'm a hardcore Steins;Gate fan, so many times I would even try to escape reality with lucid dreaming, I would be in the Akihabara where I would often make inventions with Okabe in the LAB and help Mayurii with her costumes, but one day as I was talking to Mayurii, we went to the kitchen or a private talk. She immediately said, "You know you could live with us forever.." I gave her a confused look and she continued, "We understand that you live in Alpha worldline and you REALLY wish to live here". I then said "How..How did you know?" She then giggled and said "Because we've been watching you, silly!"
This was a dream come true and I almost cried right there. She then said, "I talked with Daru and he agreed that you would be PERFECT for the LAB, you just have to do...one thing". She then held my hand and looked deep into my eyes and said "...You have to kill yourself for the transfer to work correctly." I then gave her some questions, "How long do I have before the deal expires?" She then said "Daru said 3 months.." I added by saying "What's the most painless way?..." She giggled again, "Suicide will require pain buuut...if you want it quick...Get a gun and a nice shot to the head works.
I then agreed and she gave me a kiss on the forehead, "I know this will be tough but once it's over and done, you'll get to live here!" I then woke up and this was last week and i purchased a gun. I might actually kill myself because that dream just felt too real to be fake and my life isn't doing so grand.

sounds like richmond to me

Just got paid $160 by a fat black man with a micropenis to suck my cock so I'd have enough money to make rent.

easy solution

take a certain amount for yourself and return the rest to him and demand money back.

Maybe you can get an eighth out of it idk

dope,

how'd this arrangement go down

eh...
I' have already smoked on it, like 0.4
I'll return everything that's left and demand full refund back, will probably lose him as dealer but w/e
If the ppl he lives with say I left less money than I did I'm just gonna keep the weed and walk out, its gonna really suck though If I have to do that.
Some of them are pretty... big, urkh.
Haven't been in a fight in a long time and I'm not prepared for that.
A fight is always a real bad ending...

used to finger my cousins pussy and ass when she was 11 and i was 12/13 idk. I would touch my 7 year old cousin as well. They dont remember any of it i hope, we just had christmas dinner together and we are all like best friends now

youre like me, im a pussy too im smol and cant fight for shit

you remember it

>just sayin

both our replies btw were 31, i think something special is happening between us

I fisted a horse when I was 15- 16.

awesome

I ain't a pussy, It's just that im small.
If I get in a fight I don't fight to win, I fight to survive because im so fragile and would literaly break from anything.
I'm going to bring a switchblade and keep a stance during the entire evening, always standing and with my back clear.
If they get uppity I'll bring up the knife and leave...
only problem is that if they call me on it I have to hurt them or get hurt.

I am on Sup Forums and I'm 43.

if you're looking in the southwest it's probably saturn

the christmas spirit

CUCK

Haha you are making à Big mistake bro
She gonna make you eat shit

I'm filling a YLYL with 'nana as we speak

don't believe these shills

I fucked this white dude's gf immediately after they broke up.( I'm black )

We made an arrangement to become exclusive friends with benefits (sex until we find other people). She has a birth control implant so I'm fucking her raw free of STDs.

However, signs point to her fucking one of her friends and I think it's hot,

>If you're on Sup Forums on X-mas eve, you got 'em. Confess yours.


Massive Oedipus Complex . . . aka I want to fuck my mom.

Started lusting after her when I started jerking off to the bras she left in the bathroom . . . I wasn't thinking about her (at first), just tits. Then thoughts of her crept in because it was her bra.

It progressed from there to the point that I can only jerk it to pornstars who resemble her - - though they're usually about 20-30 lbs lighter than her.

I even fed her my cum a few times-- made her "health shakes" for when she got home from work.

I think if she knew how badly I want a sexual relationship with her she'd disown me.

My idea situation would be to be married to a woman, but have my mom as a mistress on the side.

I wish it was a phase of adolescent curiosity, but I've had these feelings for a decade now.

do it on live stream

And I blamed it on the dog!

One secret: while at a party in college, it was getting late people were wasted or trying to go to bed. I went into a room in the frat house and no one was there, massive bag of weed and a small bag of coke on the table. I figure, fuck it, everyone who lived in the frat was downstairs so I grab both. In pocket, trying not to let the bulge show. get downstairs, grab jacket put the drugs in, then leave. got easily over $100 worth of pot and probably equal in coke, not too knowledgeable about coke prices tho.

No secret. Just a single person living alone with no relatives or freinds around

I like to crossdress, no one knows but you all. I sometimes like to get grindr and see how many guys would want to fuck me, but never met up with them, always chicken out. I own a small-mid size collection of lingerie and womens clothing now and its something I often do, usually only at night.

Have you got kik ?

so underrated

I shared nudes of my ex on Sup Forums, she doesn't know, no one knows.

I plan to kill all my friends masked serial killer style.

yeah username: praisethesun777