How can I kill myself without upsetting my mother?

How can I kill myself without upsetting my mother?

Op an heroing would make mother proud

kill her first

Don't kys. Seems logical.

Leave a note saying you raped your sister dog or whatever....

kek

The only way to do this is to kill your mother, then yourself.

It doesn't work that way. There is no pain greater than the loss of an offspring, regardless of cause.

Show her your browsing history before you do it.

Also, Merry Christmas, please don't kill yourself

RAPE YOUR MOTHER IN EVERY HOLE AND CUM ON HER FACE... THEN AN HERO IN FRONT OF HER!!!!!! GO AND DO THIS NOW!

This user is right. Or just drive off a bridge into a river and maybe they will say it was a sticky brake or something

>"I raped my sister, dawg"

This would be hard to read, as a parent

Not killing yourself

See this....>

kill her 1st. Simple

Don't kill yourself bro. I like you

Tell her that you are a drug addict who masturbates to Japanese cartoons. You probably won't have to kill yourself as she will off you herself.

Simple, kill your self and not think of it. Once your dead your dead.

Jesus Christ this is perfectIf you can't commit to it then, you're not ready to an hero. In fact, you're not ready to leave your mom's basement.

I have thought of it seriously off and on for a long time.

If I kill myself, she maybe be able to move on??
I don't think I could bring myself to kill her.

Yep Op leave a note with a lot of shameful shit on it like you masterbate over kids underwear or some shit then she will be glad you killed yourself.

Shes not like that. Besides I don't want to lie to her.

kill the gay part of you, keep the rest alive. problem solved.

Jesus Christ... you need to just kill yaself.

forgot to mention, take pictures with timestamp and post here

Just tell her you're feeling down and that you want help but you're afraid to talk to anyone. She'll prefer that to you hurting yourself

The longer you put it off the further she will see you spiral down the well and not be able to move on, best get it over with so she can move on right asap.

You're already lying to her by living a lie.

Well maybe she's upset that you haven't killed yourself yet? Think positively.

Enlist, that way at least you died for your country and will be thought of as a hero, rather than a neet.

What about all the parents that kill their children?

Thanks for the back up... I dropped the ball.

You only need to think positive when getting tested for H.I.V.

Spend whatever money you have to go on vacation or on a cruise. Then go somewhere secluded so your body is never found and kill yourself there, or jump off the cruise ship at night. Your body will never be found and she won't feel it's like her fault. Also, no funeral costs and and body to bury.

don't tell her?
get your money, travel as far as you can, chill while doing it, then kill yourself by tying a rock to your neck, and get as far away as you can in a little boat. no one will find your corpse in the sea bottom.

You can't bro. Trust me, I've tried to figure this one out.

The closest thing I've come is killing off who I used to be. Used to be a weird druggie with severe depression. I dropped out of school, joined the army, got out, stayed at a zen monastery, went back to school. Now I'm in med school.

Never been happier. The version of myself that wanted to kill himself 8 years ago wouldn't know who I am.

take her with you she can't get mad

What you do is buy a bunch of smoke detectors, take the radioactive material out and hide them in her mattress.

Years from now when she has an inoperable brain tumor and is to weak and tired to neither know nor care about what is going on you off yourself.

Dont kys. Dont do it

Don't worry, user. We wouldn't be a proper internet hate machine if our cogwheels weren't polished and well-grased

Don't tell them what we did Agnus.

Dont do it !

Kill mother. Kill self. That easy.

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Die doing something heroic, like saving an infant from being struck by a car or something like that.

Do it please!!!!

don't do it. It will even hurt me. I don't even know you. Your mother will suffer for 30 more years. Every day.

THIS

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You will never escape him, OP.

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Use the Lanza method.

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Don't worry, Connor. It's not structured in the way they can understand. Keep the nice job. Walk the right walk. Don't forget to pay a visit to Aunt Millie.

Pick up one piece of garbage from your room and throw it away. Then do it again. Then do it again.

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It just ends up becoming the same way again.

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graduate med school, start a profitable practice, give her grandchildren, wait for her to die happy.

thats the only way anyone can avoid upsetting their mother.

This is sad. You should get help. Don't kill yourself. Nothing is worth ending your life. And honestly, if your think about your mother it means there's a reason not to die.
If you really wanted to end your life 100% you'll end it not caring what anyone thinks because you wouldn't be around. Also, you wouldn't be posting it here.
Don't kill yourself. Get off this website and go see someone.
Your mother sounds like a good person since your posting this saying you don't want to hurt her. Talk to her. Hack I'll talk to you.
Please don't hurt yourself.

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bonobobo, drop this suicidal trope nigga, you're obviously not going to anyways.

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Just get therapy

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>This is sad. You should get help. Don't kill yourself. Nothing is worth ending your life. And honestly, if your think about your mother it means there's a reason not to die.
>If you really wanted to end your life 100% you'll end it not caring what anyone thinks because you wouldn't be around. Also, you wouldn't be posting it here.
>Don't kill yourself. Get off this website and go see someone.
>Your mother sounds like a good person since your posting this saying you don't want to hurt her. Talk to her. Hack I'll talk to you.
>Please don't hurt yourself.
Same user, stop repeating urself.

She'll NEVER get over it.

Kill mother first

Underrated

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1.) assuming this whole thread isn't bait, know that killing yourself will RUIN your mother's life.

2.) holy crap that room is awful. You should just decide that EVERYTHING goes and throw out everything. Give no regard to value or sentimental attachment. If you just decide "I lose it all", then the sweep is done. The momentary regret will be nothing compared to the lasting detachment and accomplishment.

You had better reply to me, because I typed this all out and I didn't have to.

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Stay alive fool. Your mother will be hurt and suffer for the years she lasts. 30 years, every day, she will grief and directly be hurt by what you did.

Leave a note that explains it was all her fault.

She'll know what it means.

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i mean you can't die without upsetting her, that's impossible, but you could just crash your car or some shit.

This is amazing!!!!! There is hope for everyone. I've been there too. Had issues with my family and tried many times to kill myself. Finally decided to move out and be happy. Now 5 years later I have a life I'm happy with.

bro you masturbate too much

I will. Certainly do her. And after that. I'd do her again. And again. And again. And ...........

I have done this before. I just end up living in squalor again.

Tell story

Clean your room OP. Neck beard is stong with this one

That's the spirit.

You never know. How bad would you feel if you read about this tomorrow that he killed himself?

Do you live in a storage unit???

Remember faggots, you either give up your millennial fantasies and join me, or you will suicide because of severe depression.

No, the world is not going to be progressive. Give up all hope.

get that fucking face off her.
I liked the original face.
Fapped desu on this death bitch.

I must tell you the secret to happiness...
W
A
I
T

F
O
R

I
T
... I'm not sure, however if you don't reply to this your mother will die in her sleep tonight.

CAN YOU GUYS PLEASE STOP TAKING THIS AS A JOKE. SOMEONE KILLING THEM SELF IS NOT A JOKE

You're going to hurt her either way.
Death is never gentle to the loved ones of the deceased.

Besides, you won't care once you're dead.

Pro tip: if she's a great mother you can't.

Meh.