How do i buy a dildo without my parents knowing?

How do i buy a dildo without my parents knowing?

Make one yourself.

Roofie your parents

buy a cucumber

But how?? Ice is cold and messy, Others give you a infection.

Amazon. Will be in a generic amazon box.

All the cucumbers they sell in y state are way too big

Step one: stop being a faggot

Just use your Moms dildo

That's what I did

Use a carrot with a condom on top

Easy
1. Put the needed money on a gift card
2. Purchase online and have it delivered to post office for pick up
3. Pick it up.
4. Enjoy

Gr8 b8 m8

buy dildo at a fetish shop, shove the entire thing into your ass before you get home, waddle downstairs into your basement bedroom and your home free, faggot

Ive really thought about this, considering they are a decent price but my folks check the mail constantly, and will wonder what i bought.

You're a fucking bitch!

either youre an underaged fag, or in the closet.
either way, youre a faggot OP.

I hope you cleaned it before you used it user

:D
youre definetley a nigger :D

simple. Move out.

Can you ship it to a friend's house and have them give you the box?

Depending on where you live, amazon also has drop boxes you can have packages shipped to.

Use the sharp side while you're at it.

ill give you my box you slut

Move out you fucking NEET

Or just go to a local store and buy one. Do your parents search your person when you enter the house? Do they check your room for contraband?

>inb4 OP is trying to smuggle a dildo into jail

How old? M or F?

I'm a neet so i have no friends, but i'm looking into picking up at a post office.

What about hiding it? My folks are kinda nosy.

Female. I'm not gonna say how old.

just leave it in your ass all the time

inb4 your lass tries to lose her virginity with you.

I don't wanna stretch myself out, so no.

Amazon, have it sent to local amazon locker and pick it up when you're out alone.

>I don't wanna stretch myself out

pretty gay desu

get a p.o. box without your parents knowing, order it to that

>What about hiding it? My folks are kinda nosy.

You'll have to get creative with that. Don't hide it under the bed/mattress/etc. I used to hide money behind an electrical outlet and small objects inside a portable air conditioning unit that I had removed all but three screws to.

i bought 2 fleshlights without my family finding out i started ordering things online a few months prior and began checking the mail frequently one day i ordered them and a bunch of other things to all come around the same time i would just make sure i always checed the mail

Anything can be a dildo, if you're brave enough.

I see, i think i have a place planned out, but my stress levels are super high.

Good to know, thanks!

Well this sucks, the nearest one is 2 hours away.

Take a gun barrel and shove it up your vag

if you needed to hide it from your parents, but you are F, then you are probably trans, yes?
have it mailed to the post office, or a friends house or some bullshit, make some shit excuse that you are going to be out, then go get it.

I don't own a gun, and that would hurt

Have you thought about a cane? The long end is often suitable, and you can buy them for like 10$ at your local pharmacy.

get one at sex store

I'm not trans, I was born a female.

>vag
o boy

tell your parents the truth

tits or gtfo

Do what /k/ommando did and use a 50 bmg bullet as a dildo.

I have 2 magical words for you fag

General Delivery

for countryfags and other faggots who don't need to get a shit ton of mail you can have amazon deliver to the post office if you put 1234 op is a fag drive - general delivery in the shipping address. If you use it more than once or twice a year the post office will get pissy bc it's sort of a grey area from a long time ago that they haven't really gotten ironed out

I'm not posting them, but here you go, my favorite loli picture

mfw op is everyone's ideal female weab of questionable age and isn't using the opportunity to rake in piles of cash.

loli thread nao

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I'm not a whore, user.

I've been on Sup Forums for about 4 years so yeah, this shit has rubbed off on me.

Is Shota allowed too?

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ofc

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unless you're underage go to a sex store and buy one.
don't be embarrassed, remember they're the ones working there.

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Yeah, Too bad.

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Lots of online stores have an inconspicuous packaging and credit card charge option for this reason.

Use a curling iron.

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>An infection
Are you a grill or just stupid?

I've already states many times now user, that i am female.
And yes it can give you a infection, and it hurts like a mother fucker.

This has been turned into a Loli/Shota thread so...

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Use cash to buy a gift card, then order from your favorite sex toy site. If the box has your name on it, they will not likely open it. If they open it, they will likely be as embarrassed as you are, and totally leave you alone about it.

>This has been turned into a Loli/Shota thread so...

Technically, this started as a loli thread.

If the box has YOUR NAME on it, they most likely will not open the box, will they?

True,

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Fucking unf

i mean like.... sauce?

That's what I did for a pocket pussy a few years back

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Seriously MOAR

Buy it and hide it in your school bag

have kik? shizzle1979

Shit, I have it somewhere. give me a min

Source? What anime is that from?

Sweet

Pay a hobo to buy it for you. Problem solved.

PRAISE user

Dream-Colored Bunny, Cream lemon

Loli webm thread??

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>Dream-Colored Bunny, Cream lemon

Bless you user

Yes please

Tits or gtfo

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We already tried this.

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Exactly, sorry not happening

Get cash.
Go to Spencer's
Buy clone a willie
Have a male friend copy his dick for you

Link?

dark skinned loli are adorbs

anyone got a sauce on this?

So true,