Hey Faggots

Hey Faggots,

My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than "jack off to naked drawn Japanese people"? I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my bitch

Bullshit, just saw this thread like a week ago. Nice troll.

nice hat john

I love you John.

I saw it like 6 years ago.

lmfao this

You're boring

for someone who hates this place you sure do come here a lot, john

6-7 years for me lel

pasta more stale than the jokes you crack at parties
oh wait
>you don't get invited to those

>a week ago
Winter is the new summer, I see.

I created the original of this copypasta June 13 2008 using a picture of my friend
>AMA

Nuh uh! You're a faggot!

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

What street did your "friend" die on? Because i know the answer.

...

Hey un-insured faggots,
My name is Geico Gecko, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day getting stupid assed insurance from other companies with limited coverage. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any real car insurance? I mean, I guess it’s fun hitting other cars and driving away, because of your own lack of driving ability, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures of the animated chick from eSurance.
Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your Ford Explorer. I’m pretty much covered. I was captain of the sales team, and starter on Geico Nascar’s racing team. What sports do you play, other than “jack off to naked drawn eSurance people”? I also get no speeding tickets, and have a banging hot Ferrari (I just blew by you; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

>originally posted in 2007
Kay dumb faggot

A) According to facebook, he's still alive
B) We weren't that close of friends. He was a lot like the "John" of the pasta when I wrote it though

(OP)Sonic: Go Fast edition because Sonic goes really fast in that one and I mean really fast much faster than all the others and even vin diesel says to him no you're too fast but sonic doesn't listen because tails is in danger again and needs rescuing from the evil eggman although sometimes the graphics aren't great and they need updating for us 21st century people but in the whole game you only ever go fast so is graphics really a problem i don't think so but vin diesel might disagree because he looks quite silly sometimes in the go fast edition

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fag would take anything posted here as fact.

My name is John

One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we’ve been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We’re no longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured us. It’s simply too painful to acknowledge, even to ourselves, that we’ve been taken. Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back.

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snnnnniiiiiiffffffffffff...oh yes my dear....sssnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff....quite pungent indeed...is that....dare I say....sssssssnniff...eggs I smell?......sniff sniff....hmmm...yes...quite so my darling....sniff....quite pungent eggs yes very much so .....ssssssssssssssnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiffffff....ah yes...and also....a hint of....sniff....cheese.....quite wet my dear....sniff...but of yes...this will do nicely....sniff.....please my dear....another if you please....nice a big now....

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Oh yes...very good!....very sloppy and wet my dear....hmmmmm...is that a drop of nugget I see on the rim?...hmmmm.....let me.....let me just have a little taste before the sniff my darling.......hmmmmm....hmm..yes....that is a delicate bit of chocolate my dear....ah yes....let me guess...curry for dinner?....oh quite right I am....aren't I?....ok....time for sniff.....sssssnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff.....hmmm...hhhmmmmm I see...yes....yes indeed as well curry......hmmm....that fragrance is quite noticeable....yes.....onion and garlic chutney I take it my dear?.....hmmmmm....yes quite.....

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Oh I was not expecting that…that little gust my dear….you caught me off guard…yes…so gentle it was though…hmmmm…let me taste this little one…just one small sniff…..sniff…ah….ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffffff…and yet…so strong…yes…the odor….sniff sniff…hmmm….is that….sniff….hmmm….I can almost taste it my dear…..yes….just…sniff….a little whiff more if you please…..ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffff…ah yes I have it now….yes quite….hhhhmmmm…delectable my dear…..quite exquisite yes…..I dare say…sniff….the most pungent one yet my dear….ssssnnnnniiiifffffffffffffffffffffff….yes….