I figured out what causes the friendzone

I figured out what causes the friendzone.

It's when low self-esteem makes you believe (probably incorrectly) that you will never attract a girl based purely on a first impression of your personality and/or appearance.

Once you think that, you give up on trying to approach and meet other girls because you believe you can't possibly succeed, which leads to a lack of practice interacting with girls.

Then, you decide that if you can't attract a girl with your body or personality, you can only possibly do it by demonstrating yourself to be kind and dedicated over a long period of time.

The need to show those qualities over a long period leads to fixation on one girl and completely ignoring others, even those who are interested in you.

Of course, this ultimately leads to failure because you fall in love with a girl who sees you as a spineless hanger-on even if you might have had a chance with her by asking outright.

However, the rejection is misinterpreted as a failure to demonstrate your kindness and dedication to her, which leads to even lower self-esteem, or her failure to recognize it, which leads to anger and confusion.

In any case, it becomes a vicious cycle which can only be broken by self-awareness.

Good OP, now put this new found knowledge into practice by raw dogging some dumb slut you have no feelings for

I have, that's where the self-awareness came from. I have no feelings for girls at all anymore, even though I've gone on what should have been romantic dates.

But honestly, it's sort of strange not to be worried about that anymore after spending so many years pining for girls who never cared about me.

woke af OP. how'd you break the cycle? I understand all this and know im not ugly (6/10 maybe..) but when I interact with girls this wave of self loathing washes over me and I think hella negative thoughts. wat do

this is the problem with you people, you try to over analyze and break things down into these complex problems because its the only way you can rationalize not understanding it.

the default is not women liking you. its just not. even chad is friendzoned.

the friendzonei s literally caused by you being into a woman and her saying 'sorry were just friends'.

Honestly, I did it in a pretty shitty way.

The girl I was in the friendzone for wanted to spend the night and cuddle platonically, and I was stupidly hoping she'd had a change of heart. While we were sleeping together, I got handsy, and she eventually called me out on it. I felt awful for breaking her trust but at the same time I was angry with myself for being in a position where I would eagerly bring a girl into my bed and not even be able to kiss her. It was the impetus I needed to look back on the years I had wasted in the friendzone and realize it was a problem in my mind and not a problem with the girls, or with anything else about me.

I forced myself to let go of it, and I started having casual sex and seeing multiple girls. I feel better about myself than I ever have before.

That's not the friendzone, as most people use it. I'm referring to the condition where a lonely guy fixates on a girl and becomes extremely close platonic friends in the belief that it will entice her into a relationship, especially when she welcomes the extra attention and allows it to continue.

>that's not the friendzone as most people use it.

yes it literally is. its used anytime a guy likes a girl and she says their just friends.

your long drawn out retarded definition is your own personal definition, not the general norm.

I think I'm in the unclezone with this girl, how do I break out?

I'll have to respectfully disagree. Discussion of the friendzone is almost entirely restricted to the self-described beta males in the situation I described

I swear people are fucking retards when it comes to girls and the "friendzone"

Truth is, some girls believe it, some don't but here's what's important. DON'T HINT AT SHIT, BE STRAIGHT FORWARD!

Girls don't want to wait, don't make them. In society, guys usually take the first step, so it's what women expect. So if you don't try to make a step, then they'll believe you're not interested, but if you're clear from the get-go, then whola! If she's not into you, then you lose nothing because you're not friends, but if you want go ahead. If she's down? Then congratulations!

Just have the balls to make a STRAIGHT FORWARD move. Don't hint at bullshit, because sometimes it'll either fly over their head, or your hinting doesn't come off as hinting at all.

tl;dr Do what you'd want a girl to do. No hints, just being straight forward.

don't listen to this user and go full autismo
you have to flirt and stuff, read the mood

That's exactly my point. I'm just trying to explain why people like me know that we should be straightforward with girls but still get caught in that toxic cycle of trying to impress with "niceness" alone

That's literally what he's saying you autist

I'm at this stage and want to make a move but have negative game and minimal idea how to even approach it. I'm not literal autismo but have p much no idea how to come off smooth. any tips besides 'stop being a faget/kys' ?

No fucking shit. Don't just throw it out of nowhere, shit like that is implied. But don't spend a month think you're building something when you're not. I've never spent over a week talking to a girl before making a straight forward move, and I've never been rejected. That's because I could tell she she wasn't my type or not my type. And also you're making a dumb accusation. You can be dating, but just not be fully commited yet. Dating is for the flirting shit, get to the dating stage BEFORE or WITHIN a week. THEN ask her if you're official or whatever.

Nope, you're ugly as fuck and have a terrible personality. Work out and pretend to be someone better, and eventually someone will be stupid enough to sleep with you.

h-how do you meet girls

Honestly, girls can respect balls. If say you meet a girl, compliment her on basic shit, hair, face, whatever, just don't be a weirdo and say some stupid shit like "woah, your hair smells good." Maybe say she smells good in GENERAL when she knows you a bit, but nothing before that.

Then READ clues to how she takes your flirtations. Is she responding by flirting back, or does she seem awkard? Then ask her to somewhere. Then after when you do that, make your intentions clear as fuck by saying something like "I think you're really cool to be around, and I was wondering if you'd want to be official. AFTER the dating stage. Not during. That's up for you to decide depending on how well you know her.

Essentially:
Dating - Get to know her, see if she's your type
Girlfriend - Established shit, committed relationship

I'd say its more being clingy with one girl, you don't know how to pick up on there body language so you waste so much time on them when they aren't even attracted to you

Depends, how old are you?
If you're in school, shit's a given. Whether it be Highschool or College.

Adults in the workplace? See any cuties? Talk to them. Go to groups or clubs. Doing any type of activity isn't a half bad choice.

No you COULD always try tindr, but keep in mind, girls get a ton of good swipes, where guys only get a few, so you might have to be patient. But on the bright side, first impressions are out of the way. Online dating is becoming bigger and more acceptable. So try it if you're really out of ideas

don't bother with dating apps unless you are a 9/10 have a good paying job and don't want anything other than causal sex

This is also true

what's your definition of a "straight-forward move"

asking for a date?

it's a chad thing, you wouldn't understand