Weirdest sexual experience thread. Just had mine

Weirdest sexual experience thread. Just had mine.

>plowing gf's ass for holiday anal
>pull out and see some shit smeared on my dick
>a bit pissed off and don't want to walk to the bathroom
>tell her that she needs to clean up her fucking mess
>she gets weird look in her eyes and gets down on her knees
>surprised but curious so I tell her to do it
>she starts breathing hard
>starts going crazy on my dick
>sucks and licks all of her shit off my cock
>she shudders while I pull out and cum on her face
>she left a stain on the floor

I'm not into scat but goddamn was it hot to make her do that.

After a birthday night of drinks with my gf she brought up the subject of her parents dog and her fantasy of having him fuck her. Was weird the fuck out at first but when it happened... Holy shit was it hot

I'm going to need some greentext on this.

You gonna start making her do that all the time?

why do dog farts smell so bad? :(

kinda hot.

>back then i was fucking this freak blonde
>7/10 short hair, well shaped blonde with some meat on her. not fat.
>would do anything daddy told her.
>wants to fuck outdoors
>not into it but i figured since i just face fucked her and fired a load into her throat, id amuse her.
>we go to the woods, we go off the trail
>find a decent clearing
>starts sucking me against a tree
>diamonds
>lay her on the dirt and start filling her
>fuck her for a good bit.
>pick her up and place her against a tree to go doggy.
>get a bad gut feeling
>boner gone.
>tell her we are wrapping this party up
>she moans about it
>the second we pull our pants on a weeb walking his parents two golden retrievers emerges into the path
>that was a close one.
>i still dont like fucking outside.

I usually cum inside her ass because she has a kink for that. If I notice it's coming out dirty though then definitely yes. I think if I just give her some listerine afterwards it should be fine.

yo green text that shit.

should've stayed and asserted dominance

Probably wouldn't have stopped for just a weeb. What's he gonna do? I'd love to cum down her throat but the last time we tried it she threw up all over my dick. That encounter was weird but in a bad way.

what's to greentext? that's the full story.

Right, fucked his dogs to show him who's boss.

Its like you didnt read my story at all.

you just don't get it do you? twat

make the dogs fuck her more like

Yeah man do it it's hot, I once had a slut that loved ATM miss her still sometimes

what?

I did. I'm just not afraid of dogs or weaboos.

well then why did you reply to it then?

>mom goes on vacation
>alone in the house
>gf comes over
>prop her facing away from me on a tall stool
>ass sticking out ready to be fucked
>she's the kind of girl that doesn't admit to farting, very clean, well mannered
>fuck her in the ass
>pull out, notice some shit slide off my cock onto the tile floor
>scoop it with finger when she's not looking
>eat it. not bad
>breath tasted like shit for two days no matter what

wow u sick fuck

Kek

Ew dude..

I was about 12, found my dads stash of copied porn VHSs in his wardrobe so I start slowly working my way through them.cooying the best scenes to my own master fap tape. After a few days I come across a tape with footage of him fucking my mum on a couch, crazy fap like mad and jizz over the floor. Still weird remembering it to this day.

jesus

I found porn of my parents too when I was a kid. Pics mixed inwith his playboys. Had the total opposite reaction of you though. Couldn't fap for a week.

Yeah I'm not proud. Not sure why I turned me on so much, I assume it was mainly because I was so young and because it was someone I personally knew that it was mega erotic

>fuck a white girl
>parents tell me "no hanky panky" next day at dinner

>have asian friend
>short, freckled, square body but whatev. Big c cups, cute butt.
>we are chilling and drinking.
>on my bed
>asks to see me dick
>allofmywuts
>"we're friends right?"
>i oblige
>she is impressed.
>reaches for it.
>starts jerking me off and positions herself to give me head
>diamonds bruh
>fast forward, were fucking
>shes loud
>flip her over, fuck her doggy
>view is amazing and im pulling her hard into my cock
>That's when she lets it out "oh- daddy!"
>Triggered
>I proceed to adjust myself and deliver a pussy-fuck like never before.
>She arches, clenches and cums
>Shit you not this girl fired skeet all over my cock at sonic speed.
>As in mattress is now near ruined.
>swear she might as well have emptied her bladder on me.

The moral of the story is dont call me daddy less you want to tear that pussy up.
This was 3 years ago and recently she's texted me out of nowhere. We gonna go see rogue one together, finger crossed she wants the d.

Was your mom hot? Mine wasn't.

Did you hank her pank in front of them to assert dominance over her father?

Leak your teacher or even your sister lol - snap leak .cf check the image

At the time yeah, she had a nice shaven pussy which at the time wasn't all that common and legs that went on forever.

Parents' room next to daughter's room. Kept fucking her anyway until I broke it off with her

>swear she might as well have emptied her bladder on me.
that's what she did, dumbass.

>weirdest sexual experience is just fucking someone

Word is that how skeet works? Gee thanks for explaining. though it came from some weird mystic clit portal women create when they nut.

Well, if it's the only one he has

Nice i used to fuck this 15yr old pawg when i was 18 in her house, next to her brothers room and with her mom in the house.
We'd come out smelling like sex and she was still cool with me.
white people are fucking weird.

>not bad

How did the dog fucking go? She take the knot? Blow the dog? Did she cum?

I fucked my stepsister over summer break when we were both really drunk. We did it for 4 months and never spoke of it again

Jesus. What is with all the shit eaters?

>things that never happened

masturbated with both hands once

My ex used to like it when I would blindfold her and fuck her that way so she couldn't see what I was doing. I always thought it was so incredibly hot watching her suck me off without seeing it and I'd often just keep face fucking her until cumming down her throat

You are a fucking degenerate. You disgust me.

I can't prove it happened but if I were to lie I'd make it way more interesting than ass to mouth.

>Shit you not this girl fired skeet all over my cock at sonic speed.
>As in mattress is now near ruined.
>swear she might as well have emptied her bladder on me.

That's exactly what she did.

>gf comes over
>panties come off
>pussy shows residue of cum

>fuck her, harden cum residue all over dick
>whatever
>spread her ass
>"fuck me baby"
>pull out
>she sucks my cock clean

till this day I wonder what all of that nut meant in her pussy. Mind you this was like in the morning, was it her cum or some other dudes?

We're broken up now though.

Probably vag discharge wasn't cheating

You could try asking.

It's not ass to mouth. That would be believable. My gf has done that, after she was properly cleaned to begin with. It's the whole eating shit off your dick that's not believable. Whether it's a coating of lube-y runny shit, or part of a turd, it's not believable for someone to just go along with a request/order that they eat shit, out of nowhere. Sounds like bad fiction.

sisterhood protection mechanism detected

>gf comes over with another guys cum clearly in pussy
>still to this day can't figure she was cheating

Sex in the missionary position for the purpose of procreating

see

thanks for the optimism and calcification user.
though i never doubted in her, that morning made me contemplate things but god how i miss her and her creamy pussy.

She was likely close to ovulation. Discharge. No big deal. If it was cum you'd have smelled the difference, super bleachy.

Your own shit isn't as bad as a strangers. I've had a girl do this it's hot and feels so good. I've done anal a lot pull out and rub my dick on many sluts faces and blow my load.

Ex was a closet freak. I had no idea how strong the freak actually was.

>One night, hitting it doggy, hands around her throat per the usual. Letting her breathe just before she passed out.
>She looks back and tells me in the hottest voice I've ever heard, "make me pass out daddy."
>Am reluctant. Don't want to have to explain that in court at the murder trial. Keep fucking her pussy as hard as I can.
>Tell her to let me fuck her ass instead. We says no, as she always did because it gets too bad and she hates it.
>Fine, I'll just choke the bitch out.
>Squeeze her neck.
>Stop fucking and just choke her like I hate her.
>She struggles, finally passes out.
>Wait wake up ho.
>Still limp.
>Decide I'm going to fuck her ass if she's passed out.
>Pull dick out of pussy and literally ram it into her dry asshole.
>Suddenly, the slut lives.
>Wakes up to me fucking her ass harder than anyone has ever fucked anything, ever.
>She realizes what's happening.
>Suddenly she cums. Hard. Squirts everywhere.
>It's a goddamn food.
>Tells me to fuck her ass harder.
>Literally cannot
>I cum harder than I ever have

>From then on, that was the routine. I loved the sex, and so did she. We finally broke up by nobody will ever compete with that girl.

thanks user
it was actually hot as fuck watching her clean up after herself I suppose.

>camping with friends, a couple, and gf
>all get wasted
>gf passes out in tent
>they go in
>they fuck
>he cums, they both pass out
>I go in after a bit, drunk and groggy
>smell of sex gets me going
>lay next to friend's gf, check that she's out
>feel her tits, play with her pussy
>eat her pussy, tastes like sex
>beating off, sucking cum from her hole
>get close, hop on top of her
>bust inside her pussy
>find out later she'd forgot her pills on the trip
>she got pregnant
>it's probably mine

> It's a goddamn food.
keksimus

She's really submissive with a focus on humiliation. She's previously drank my piss on my orders/let herself be hit/flashed on command. The shit thing was just a new level for us. I was genuinely surprised she did it too.

That's gross, you are scum dude

Had a handjob off sister at a house party. We didn't speak for months after it but it was hot as fuck

How do you find the closet freaks?

Oh boy
>couple of years ago
>dating nice gril
>8/10 best titties on the west side of the Mississippi
>would literally do anything for me
>we were both seniors in highschool
>hanging at her house
>her mom leaves
>cometodaddy.mp4
>quality fuck
>suck on her tits a little afterwards because I'm that kind of guy
>get really into it
>purplenipples.jpeg
>mfw her mom walks in on me giving her the fattest hickey of her life and has never looked at me the same ever since

>eating dinner at gf's house with her and her parents
>they are super conservative, think we don't even kiss or hold hands
>about half way through the dinner she excuses herself from the room for about 30 seconds, goes to the kitchen for something but weirdly she closes the door as she goes through it
>sits down and continues eating
>chatting away with her folks, tell them how great the chipped beef and the cold corn pot pie chicken brasco eight quarts brisket fallon beer bong is like a normal american retard that has no idea that the rest of the world doesn't know what his gibberish negroid dialect means
>i'm sitting next to her, after a few minutes a sweet smell reaches my nose, realise she must have been preparing dessert or microwaving it or something
>she reaches over the table to take the pepper
>as she rises from her chair slightly, the sweet smell grows suddenly more potent, irresistable
>notice there is a dark, sticky wet patch in the back of her dress from under where she had been sitting
>also catch sight of a small round goopy stain on the chair beneath her
>quickly dip my finger in it and put it in my mouth to taste it
>tastes sickly sweet, like a mixture of blood and three month old egg curry
>it has a grainy, lumpy texture within a smooth sauce
>need to taste some more
>she is already sat back down, unaware
>i slide my hand bit by bit under her butt from the back
>she is startled, but can't alert her parents - looks at me with wide eyes
>she lifts her butt for a moment and raises her dress so my hand has direct access for only 99.95
>slide my finger into her chocolate factory, mr wonka isn't home
>scoop out several old tablespoons of her thick, oily diarrhoea
>lift my hand to my mouth and drink it like warm granular gravy, rubbing it all over my face
>she is flushed in the face, squats on her chair and aims her winking sphincter at my food hole
>fires.
>i gulp down all she offers me, feeling dozens of tiny colonic worms swarm down my throat

I'm drunk as fuck. I just read thru the spelling errors and lmao pic not related

I was in a sexual relationship with an adult when I was only 13 years old. We're both guys btw.

It was a great experience and I have nothing bad to say about it. But it is weird to most people tho, so I guess it fits the thread

That's the thing, there is no way to know.

she went to the kitchen to fart, then sharted, then came back, then you ate poop through her clothes.

Never had a girl clean shit off my dick with her mouth however I had a gf agree to anal and ATM with swallowing. So I pull out after pounding her slut ass hard. There's a small piece of shit on it. She flicks it off and takes care of my cock. She was a true slut spit was her perfered choice of lube.

Did you have to do any convincing? All my exes have been like sorta down to try stuff like anal eventually but we never got to it

>Was at a party super drunk on whiskey
>fucked one of my best friends ex gf who he specifically said if anyone fucked her he would hate them forever.
>Knew it was wrong so I couldnt keep it up long enough to bust a nut.
>felt like less of a man as a result.
>called 2 ex GFs on the way home needing redemption.
>both wanted to chill.
>Went on a rampage and both in the same night.
>second girl i fucked on the beach
>third girl asked where i was coming from and why i had sand in my hair.
>told her i was hanging with som friends on the beach.
>next morning wake up to a pissed off ex
>she said youre a fucking liar, I got shit to do today.
>Asked whats wrong, she said check (insert ex girlfriends name here)'s facebook
>went on the facebook second girl posted about having an incredible night spending time with her true love on the beach
>called 3rd girl and apologized
>long story short she said she was pissed i lied not that i did it
>MFW friend confronts me and i cant bring myself to tell him i got to fuck both of them for 3 months straight because i couldnt get it up with his ex.
>MFW alls well that ends well

It became a regular thing after that. Turns out her parents didn't even mind as long as we were careful and she didn't end up pregnant.

Yeah must of been interesting mom and dad watched. That's kinky.

>be me at 14
>dating some other 14 year old girl, who was super cute and pretty hot, total girl next door if you didn't know her
>she was fucked, huge skank, messed around with a lot of other dudes before me, had an 18 year old boyfriend in 8th grade
>dont really care, just want some ass
>we fool around and have sex a few times, it's your basic awkward 9th grade shit
>on 4/20, we go and smoke pot (she did it a little before) with a bunch of friends then we all go back to my one buddy's house to chill
>i dont really get that high, but she apparently would become beyond horny when she got high
>while still at friends house, literally dragged me into a spare bedroom, pushed me onto the bed, got on top of me, pulled down her leggings and panties and just sits on my face
>undoes my jeans and starts jerking me off
>can't even breathe she was so fuckin wet
>finally moves and positions herself cowgirl on my cock
>proceeds to ride it like it was the last thing she was going to do in her life
>she's moaning and howling and I'm like in fuckin shock
>within 3 minutes i yell at her to get off and blow the wildest load of my life
>after, gf quickly lays down and falls straight asleep i walk out of bedroom to get something to drink
>everyone hanging out at the house looks at me bewildered, best friend is laughing his ass off cause I had the greatest "Holy shit" look on my face
>gf and i break up a few weeks later over some random unrelated shit, never really talk to her again

I'm now almost 21, and that was by far the craziest sexual experience I have ever had. Never been with another chick who has ever gone into such a primal state of sexual lust, and every girl I've ever got high with usually becomes the furthest thing from horny when high. I still wonder what she's up too occasionally.

>tell them how great the chipped beef and the cold corn pot pie chicken brasco eight quarts brisket fallon beer bong is like a normal american retard that has no idea that the rest of the world doesn't know what his gibberish negroid dialect means
OBSESSED

Not really man. I just sort of grabbed her neck one night while we were fucking and lightly squeezed and she went fucking crazy. She had never been choked and didn't even know she like it.

The New Fragrance, from Lacoste.

Other than making my girl pass out on the regular there's really nothing to it. I'm just that much better than all of you.
>tfw fucking for 3 hours minimum each night, getting super sick cardio

>girl can go that long without pussy starting to hurt
An hour for every inch.

.............what the fuck

That "portal" is called the urethra and it's always there dumbass.

Xylocain as lube, you fucking noob ;)

Probably more than you've ever done

>had this gf 9/10 body
>had anal 1-2 times
>was horny wanted to fuck but she was refusing
>she goes for a shower
>i start wanking because I am mad at her for leaving me dry..
>she comes back in the room with me jacking it
>stares for a bit asks me what im doing
>i cum and we talk, i say i needed satisfaction
>we fuck a bit after
She was a little freak she was

I've had weirder faps. Masturbation counts.

>Be fooling around with my gf at a party in a bedroom
>Both really fucking drunk
>So drunk I'm having a hard time keeping it up
>Manage to keep the steeple upright
>GF says "user, I want you to fuck me in the ass"
>Damn that was unexpected
>Fuck it, I'll do it.
>Never really had a desire to do it, but figure what the hell
>Insert into the muddy depths
>Takes a minute to get it in, no lube just spit which isn't really working
>Start pounding away
>She's moaning, really into it
>Moans start turning into strange whimpers
>In the dark, can't see shit captain
>Realize she is fucking crying
>I'm not an asshole, stop immediately
>Apologize, say I didn't meant to hurt her.
>She's sobbing, and apologizes to me
>WTF?
>Tells me it wasn't the pain, acts weird and fumbles about trying to explain what's wrong
>Then begins the tale of how her step-father molested her throughout her early life
>Apparently he liked anal
>Not with her anymore, and as far as I know I'm the only person who knows.

>consensual sex
>missionary position

>my brother jerked me off while watching Casper
>said he wanted to put my dick in his mouth
>go upstairs
>back against wall
>he just opened his mouth as wide as possible
>took my 9 year old dick in his mouth
>blew
>I think he took blowjob too literally

Can't look him in the eye to this day.

Golly gee! Is it really?? I thought girls were like sex wizards with spontaneous cloacas appearing and disappearing.

try it, you might like it

the smell is probably the weirdest part, but it tastes good and the texture is like really good meat soup or something
doesn't wash out of clothes though, so she gave me her dress so i could hold it to my nose while i fapped whenever she had to study or go to special education.

>Met this 21 year old girl off myspace
>Spider man 3 is about to come out and she says she wants to watch it
>I'm like shit yeah lets watch spiderman
>She enjoys my company and we continued dating for a while seeing other movies and shit like that
>Start going over to stay at her place on weekends, she has house to herself because her single mom has a boyfriend or something
>she goes to have a shower
>comes out just wearing a towel
>I grab her take her towel
>She's shy but lets me eye her up and down
>Jumps up on me and wraps legs around me and starts making out
>Throw her on her bed and start fucking missionary
>It feels good and I cum inside
>9 months later a fucking baby comes out of her vagina
>This happens a few more times and more babies come out of her pussy hole
>Fucking weird as fuck
>end up with 4 kids and a wife
>7 years later I tell a bunch of teenagers about it on Sup Forums even though I am twice their age

very good, laughed alot

reminds me of

>had girlfriend i still miss and love and can't let her out of my mind after 1.5 years since i've last seen her
>1-2 anal
>want to do it again, she says no and goes for a shower
>i decide i want to be in control of my own pleasure and not let any female stop me - probably based on something i read on this board
>fap while on the bed, ejaculate into a condom because i felt like it
>she comes back a few minutes later, all clean and naked from the shower
>i've thrown the used, tied off condom in the dustbin already
>she asks me what i've just done, told her
>she said she had just been in the shower cleaning out her butthole so i could stick my dick in it
>can't even summon disappointment, rest of the day is not what it could have been
One of the many communication failures, bad choices and pieces of bad timing or bad luck in the relationship that seemed like it was supposed to last until our deaths.

Are you 70 plus you lying faggot

Op here. I'm 26. Impregnation is an alright fetish. All of my friends seem to be into it these days. Too expensive for me.