Confessions thread: darkest secrets

Confessions thread: darkest secrets

My secret is that it would be stupid to reveal my secret(s)

I've cheated when I was in B class for motocross and raced 250s with a 250 bored out to 270. I won.

Im in secret a trap

We're all anons here, no risk

i'm into young asians

Any prize money, reward ect?

Like $200 from the track owner

I've cheated on every girl I ever got with. I literally go after any girl who takes interest in me. I've slept with young, old, friends, exes, friends wives, their sisters, their daughters. The worst was when I had my face buried in a girls Ass hole whilst my current gf was in A & E, the ward Sister was calling and I ignored it.

you fucking scumbag I hope you will get cancer.

My name is Landun Ulger and I am gay!

Wow, shouldn't you be in bed skippy?

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

I once wore a deceased suicide bomber's face as a mask; it was still warm from the blast and sticky with viscera.

Hurr durr, this wasn't a good idea, where the virgins at? Shit I'm all fucked up.

Was hilarious, mates and I had a good laugh.

>Be me
>Feels like I need to fart
>Spread my arse cheeks to let out a big fart
>Follow through a bit
>In the house alone
>Nobody due back for hours
>"Fuck it, in for a penny, in for a pound"
>Continue to push until my underpants are packed with shit
>Sit in my shit filled undies for several minutes
>Finally have enough of my experiment
>Get up out my seat
>Waddle out my living room
>Continue to walk up the stairs to my bathroom
>It starts to drip down my leg
>I panic because I have a cream carpet on my stairs
>Lose my footing
>Pants fall loose as I fall down the stairs
>Shit splattered everywhere
>I'm caked in shit
>Front door opens
>Wife and mother in law walks in
>Sees me
>I feign unconsciousness
>She calls ambulance
>Surrounded by ambulance crew carefully body boarding me with neck brace
>I feign 'waking up' as they run tests on me
>Loaded into ambulance as all the neighbours watch
>Went through hours of brain scans and x-rays
>Cameras up my arse and down my throat
>Stay in hospital for 3 weeks as they run tests
>mfw all I wanted to do was feel the sensation of shit in my pants

first good post on the thread so far

Worth it?

Well it was reassuring that I had no underlying health concerns I guess as all the tests came back clear.
At the time definitely not.
Never brought up the shit with my wife ever, this was 4 years ago.
Mother in law never mentioned anything nor anybody else other than the doctors who asked if I was heading to the toilet and blacked out which is the story I ran with.
They just asked if I had any significant pain that may have caused me to black out, which I said no it just felt like I needed to go to the toilet so they assumed I just blacked out from a delayed head rush of sorts and assured me that losing control of my bowels was 'normal' but I dont hear of many people shitting themselves when they pass out but then who would admit it?!

I found out that tears don't make the best anal sex lubricant. It's blood that does.

would be a funny story if it was actually true

It is true, it was only two witnesses that know me one of which is my wife who has seen me with the shits a few times, its not like I said I fell through a door and it was a surprise party with all my friends and family who yelled "SURPRIIiiiii" as I lay there with my undies down smeared in shite.

This is the kind of shit (intended) that makes/b/ the best

My whole life I have been forced to fake emotions. The only genuine emotion I can feel is anger while the rest I have to pretend im feeling inorder to not look like a programmed non human faggot to the people around me

Roll

i peed in the pool

either a sociopath or autistic, either way can be made easier to live with with therapy

Not a dark secret, but a vent / advice one

He messages me monthly, though recently has been messaging me more than often. Usually its about stupid stuff. School, Work etc. But he types formally it seems.

I caught him looking at me on more than one occasion, and has sat next to me at random. But he never talks to me in person, and never uses my name.

He also has tried meeting up with me, but never termed it a "Date"

I like the smell of that shit that collects between my toes.
I skip days showering to let it build up so I can collect it underneath my fingers then smell it at night in bed.

Wow dude you could be stripped if they found that out. That's fucked