What an absolutely mediocre piece of shit

what an absolutely mediocre piece of shit.

Why can't hollywood do these types of movies right?

>DUDE CHRISTIANS ARE CRAZY LMAO

>user does not like the taste of Butter

This movie isn't attacking Christianity or Christians, retard.

>this is the average moviegoer

>attacking
I'm saying it's just a very heavy handed gimmick being used, and it has nothing else to offer than LOL CRAZY CHRISTIANS!!

baby scene gave me chills

other than that mediocre movie 6/10

How are the Christians crazy? The witch is clearly real and Satan was haunting the farm as a goat. If anything, the dad was too reluctant to believe in witchcraft for his family's good.

even in the movie, their religion is nonsense, it literally did nothing for them except paint them as crazy people.

It was just portraying Calvinists and Calvinist doctrine. They're not being judged by the director. I seriously don't get where you're getting this.

you sound like you are completely retarded

the movie is about American paranoia.

the most frightening aspect of the movie is that they were ultimately right all along in their fear of the woods. are you a legitimate retard?

Christians are literally one of the biggest groups of retards on Earth

>hollywood

You're an idiot.

Why did you think this opinion deserved a thread?

>this deserved a post and was worth solving captcha for

Watch it again when you're over 25.

It's based on classic folklore stories, which religious people were very superstitious against witches. It's not trying to throw in any kind of anti-religion message.

Nice low iq opinion bud

*smacks lips*

HOL UP

*smacks lips*

SO YOUZ TELLIN ME CHRISTIANS AINT CRAZY?

I'm not saying it's anti-religion. I'm saying it has nothing else than LOL CHRISTIANITY.

just like Seth Rogen films are only DUDE WEED LMAO.

i solve captcha's before i go to bed, i find them soothing and sudoku's are too hard

...you're still not getting it. In refusing to acknowledge the evil forces around them and solve the problem through trust, they themselves became the evil. When only one was left, there was nothing but evil to turn to. It's about human nature, not religious nature. Christianity was only there because of the setting.

How many times did you check your phone while watching this movie? Be honest. It was a pretty straight forward message especially for an indie movie. Without understanding of our fellow man, we kill ourselves.

You sound triggered user.

Relax, nobody is attacking your jewish religion.

Shut the fuck up, millennial.

It's a modern attempt to recreate the feel of an old fairy tale or folk tale. The history is a backdrop for this because people actually believed in witches back then.

What got you so upset?

how does one live deliciously?

>It's a modern attempt
failed attempt

The dad wasn't my kind of Christian, bud. The parents were fanatical weak assholes.

This wasn't some Stephen King movie. I found it nuanced in its treatment of Christianity.

>Sup Forums is actually white knighting for a mediocre movie

plebbit strikes again!

You honestly think run-of-the-mill films like The Conjuring are better than the Witch? At least the Witch tried, had some unique set-ups, and a dynamic family relationship.

>You honestly think run-of-the-mill films like The Conjuring are better than the Witch?
literally no one even remotely said anything like that. are you just gonna make shit up so you can argue against your own made up shit?

This


Fuck that waste of time shit flick

>Hollywood

Is OP genuinely retarded?

pretty sure that part is obvious bait.

All I'm saying is there's a blasting of Hollywood, when The Witch is a relatively small film to The Conjuring which got 40 million more dollars and came up with an even bigger shit.

The Conjuring had tension, characters, and a nice sense of doubt throughout everything. What was so terrible about the Witch other than

>DUDE CHRISTIANS ARE CRAZY LMAO

?

A butthurt Christfag is butthurt and has a persecution complex. What's there to argue against?

I didn't really get that sense from the Witch. I don't think it has anything to do with Christianity, it's just that it makes a great set-up for a witch story, where people's lives are shit and have to rely on God to get through the hard times.

It's not like the Invention of Lying or some shit.

>The Conjuring had tension, characters, and a nice sense of doubt throughout everything.
The Witch had none of that. The characters were laughably over the top, the acting was shit, and there was no tension.

I hate the witch is bad meme.

butthurt christfag detecteted

the witch is indeed a bad meme and nothing else.

shit title

"the v-vitch" hurrr

the writing was shit as well, and the "old english" felt forced and not natural at all how they used it.

I dated a girl whos parents were evangelist preachers, its not DUDE CHRISTIANS ARE CRAZY they really do fucking act like in the vvitch, you are just too secular and cosmopolitan to imagine the reality of deeply religious people.
>DUDE I HAVE 5 EXHENTAI TABS OPEN AND I NEVER GO TO CHURCH BUT IM A CHRISTIAN LMAO
Fucking larpers.

>I met these 2 people
>so I know what I'm talking about

I knew hundred of people like them, they introduced me to them, they exist.

then why did you have to mention your gf's parents? sounds like you're making shit up, user.

Because they are the reason I got involved with this crazy shit in the first place?
Are you autistic?

>they introduced me to them
I thought you meant the "hundreds of people" introducing you to the family of your (to be) gf.

also:
>I knew hundreds of people
>knowing hundreds of people
no such thing

I thought it was an OK movie
>tfw there was no literal witch
>the witch was Thomasin's other persona
>she suffers from multiple personality disorder in a time when men and woman feared everything, and the devil was literally around the corner
>the entire farm was riddled with ergot fungus, which causes hallucinations in people who eat it
>evidenced by the rotten corn, and bread they ate on the farm
>tfw the people only died after Thomasin's perceptions were removed, when her witch persona took over
>she killed the baby, left her brother to die, killed the twins, killed her father, and lashed out at her mother
>tfw she sodomized a goat
>tfw there was no witch's coven in the end, it was just her going out into the wilderness and having her insanity take over

Wew lad, don't look at any of history you might burst a blood vessel.

you just made that shit up

That's the most retarded thing I've ever read

BLACK PHILLIP
BLACK PHILLIP

t. retards who can't understand anything they watch

What is it, pumpkin?

this is patently wrong.

Calvinists didnt leave for the New World

Calvinists WERE the reason Puritans came to the New World

>Calvinism is based upon predetermination
>The founder of this argued that by being a better Christian one could divine where you would go in the afterlife
>People that have an ounce of brainpower realised this just gives you a blankcheck for nihilism
>The Puritans went to America to get away from the sin they believed was corrupting their world in England

This is why you hear them talking about how soon the Apocalypse is coming, and why the Father is like "Dont even trip dawg" when they dont have any food

Just because you overthink something doesn't mean your conclusions are right, you pseudo-intellectual faggot.
The movie is pretty straightforward, and that is what makes it good. Searching for convoluting explanations for very simple things doesn't make you smart, it makes you a tryhard fedora toting neckbeard

I didnt understand where the witch was coming from in the movie, if shes real, why/ how was she like diving down into the barn? Shit was bolted up. How did she sneak in to eat at the goat titties?

This user gets it
>Ergotism poisoning produces a sensation of floating, much like many hallucinogenic experiences
>Literally every witch looked like Thomasin around the fire and was naked

I agree with user, she was just tripping balls and seeing herself float upwards in what is considered an out of body experience

As for you guys, youre forgetting all this Ergotism is exactly what caused the Witch Trials in Salem, the very plantation they were from

>How did she sneak in to eat at the goat titties?
how did she steal the kid in 2 seconds? WITCHcraft

You cant deny that monologue by Thomasin's Brother was absolutely GOAT. I got chills throughout that

Also
>The baby scene
>The crow pecking at her mum's tit, and you think its her tripping balls only to see the blood stain in the morning

I wish they had given a background to why they were kicked out of the plantation better. Its all hurr you preach stuff. Yeah, but the Father's beliefs aligned with basically everything that any other Christian would believe in in that timeperiod

just watched it for the third time, what a great movie

I honestly believe that anyone who rates this anything under a 7.5 or uses terms like "too boring" or "I didn't get it" or "DUDE CHRISTIANS", etc. is an actual idiot

it wasnt two seconds, it cuts to like 7 hours later, and Thomasin is unconscious. Either she stole them away, or is right and Thomasin had a psychotic break, brained them in the woods and then went back to bed in the barn

I wish they had delved more into the lore, explained why the devil was bothering them, what would become of Thomasin because desu she has a pretty good ending.

She got the life she desired. Imagine leaving the opalescent city of London, with butter, fancy dresses and balls, gin, and good looking men against your will to live in the fucking Indian infested woods of New England where you eat nothing but corn and wild game all day.

If the Devil is real and she made a pact with him, she has a happy ending, but that is never the case and I felt cheated thats how it ended

>just watched it for the third time, what a great movie
what did your wife's son think about it?

>implying it wasn't because Puritans started the English civil war and subsequently forced their shit religion on everyone

>Implying it wasnt because gin sold 1 TRILLION bottles in England the first 2 years it was invented and caused degeneracy on a scale not since seen by mortal men

I mean Puritans were just Sup Forums as an organized religion. Makes sense they ran off

>I didnt understand where the witch was coming from in the movie, if shes real, why/ how was she like diving down into the barn? Shit was bolted up. How did she sneak in to eat at the goat titties?
It's a folk tale user, why is that so difficult to understand? the witch could change form, we saw her do that (the scene with the Caleb in the forest, where she's a hot mulato chick), he could have entered in the form of a small animal (maybe a rabbit, like the one we saw multiple times throught the movie)
Saying
>its all allucinations, and multiple personality disorders, etc
It's honestly kinda sad, because it means that someone cannot enjoy a simple witch story without overanalyzing it to hell and back.
It's a folk tale user, inmerse on it. Our modern rational minds have no place on it.

is it actually tho? Im from around the area and I never heard of "THE VVITCH".

I know the Horsemen is a real folktale, but the only true Witch shit I know of is the Trials over ergotism and stupid faggy little girls.

The Witch is basically a visualization of a puritan's nightmare and fear of living alone in the wilderness

The Witch is the ultimate pleb filter.

Which way do you mean this

only plebs and their wife's son, like it.

It is based on a multitude of folkloric sources, along with records of trials, sorry if I wasn't clear, there's no folktale that goes especifically like the movie did.
Things like signing your name on the book of the devil, the devil taking the form of a goat, witches having familiars, making ointments of crushed babies, having covens and flying at night, all those elements are staples of witchcraft stories, specifically those borne out of Protestant enviroments, like Northern Germany, England and, New England.

>believe in sky gandalf
>not crazy
lmao

4/4 movie

>he doesn't want to live deliciously

>DUDE CHRISTIANS ARE CRAZY LMAO

But the Christians in the movie were completely right though

i enjoyed those call backs but I wish they had a more indepth plot like Sleep Hollow.

They extrapolated on the legend. they gave a background, a reason. It didnt have to be a murder mystery, but more closure would have been enjoyed.

Overall, I give a Babadook/10

>Babadook
How is that movie btw? is it good?

>Hollywood

>I'm saying it has nothing else than [I can't form any valid criticism without memes]
>just like Seth Rogen films are only [meme]

What made this movie so good for me was that it all felt real like the viewer was a fly on the wall watching a family being naturalistic to their very being. Spiritually it was fear inducing.

It isnt a scary movie at all if youre watching it with someone

Its genuinely terrifying by yourself in the dark tho, and for good reasons.

It sets you up as the actual main character. The child stresses you out. The music is always playing, people are always screaming. Then the Babadook comes out. And you dont know if hes real.

It was a genuine gem of a horror film because there is not ONE jump scare in the whole thing, and sets all the fright from atmosphere. Definitely worth a view

>80 EIGHTY replies
>No thomasin posting

This is why Sup Forums is ded.

Ok, I'll watch it then. Thanks

Are you Canadian
>yfw this thread is going a little too well for your liking

is sponge kill

CALEB!

>heavy handed gimmick
It's about the human desire to conquer the wild and the wild fighting back

keep the fedoras at home kids

Is that why the Joker always wins?