In a 5 years long relationship

>In a 5 years long relationship.
>Lost all the magic
>Almost every time we hang out it feels like a chore to me
>Would rather be playing games or anything else
>Constant thoughts of breaking up
>Feel trapped, can't break up
>Girlfriend is emotionally unstable
>We're both about to travel to 2 different countries for a 6 month college interchange (I go to South Korea, she goes to Portugal)
>GF Has a huge debt with my mom (because my mom is a nutfuck and bought her plane ticket so she could repay it during many months)
>Feel trapped in a relationship I haven't enjoyed for a while now
>Afraid of breaking up with her and she defaulting my mom. Also afraid of her killing herself or some other stupid shit since she's so emotionally unstable and has depression

What do Sup Forums?

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Have fun in SK. Heard these bitches love getting sum foreigner fuk

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I will try but I feel like I lost all of my game. 5 years in a relationship basically turns you into a caveman when it comes to flirting.
It also doesn't help if a potential date sees my facebook relationship status.

By the way I've heard that it's taboo for SK women to go after foreigners and that it's much more common for SK men to date foreign girls than the opposite.

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Are you me? I'm in the same situation, only that it's been three years.

It feels like a chore to find sweet things to say and hanging around with her. We still laugh etc. but it just feels like I'm in the relationship because we've made it this far and that giving up would make so much damage. It's called the Sunk-cost-fallacy.

Her parents have welcomed me, she's suicidal everytime the topic of us breaking up is coming. I'm more concerned about her getting sad over it than myself "losing" her.

It feels shitty because I feel guilty taking the relationship further knowing that it's only gonna make her more attached, but breaking up with her might make even more damage.

I broke up with her for two weeks and she's been so broken, couldn't work and just cried the whole time at her office. Any Sup Forumstard would just be happy about that since it's nice and edgy but when you're the guy involved, it feels guilty as fuck.

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>> makes bed
>> has to sleep in it

Your own fault if your too much of a pussy to dump her. Be a man ffs.

And part of me believes that whichever woman I go with will end up the same, there's the spark in the first few years then it becomes exhausting and feels like a chore.

That's why I'm hesitating for the breakup, since it's not about her, it's just the way things are doomed to be even if I go out with whoever woman is out there.

Not OP, but it's harder than that, young Sup Forumsrother.

Fuck hit a wrong key and lost my long reply to this. Will type again

>it's harder than that

No, it literally isn't. Y'all need to grow some balls an man the fuck up.

Was school cancelled?

You've never been in a similar situation so you can't understand. It's when you feel sorry and shitty for doing something that will hurt another people's feelings and you also feel trapped because everyone in your social circle (all friends and family) know and approve you/her and it feels so natural for them for you to be together.

If that wasn't the case, my mom would never have bought a plane ticket for her to go to Portugal, expecting repayment for something like another year afterwards

It's pretty clear, that people like you have never been in a situation like that.

op, wait until she repays your mum first. then maybe just end it bro, it's going to get worse, not better... you are both wasting each others time by continuing the relationship.

If she kills herself so be it, she is obviously not right in the head and it's unfair of her to guilt you into staying in a loveless relationship by threat of suicide .

Maybe consider talking about this issue so you can both work on it or maybe even couples counseling


Just throwing ideas out there man, good luck

Yep I'm in the same exact situation. Help me out, give me your insights.

Sometimes I think that it would be better longterm if we broke up, but then I worry about what would happen to her short/mid term and also about if she would repay her debt...

I think she is very trustworthy but you never truly know someone until you are in such a situation.

Sometimes I honestly feel miserable/annoyed that I'm like this, which is ironic, since I was lonely and miserable before I started dating her.

I can sense your edge trough my screen

Post nudes user

I was in a similar situation. girl of 5 years, we were engaged. She was an emotional nightmare for the longest time. But then we moved in together and went to college. she joined a sorority while I payed the bills. She went to parties and realized other guys would fuck her and she left right after i bought her an expensive new computer.

>7 year relationship
>exactly the same shit as you guys
>cheated on her with a girl i just met
>girl says before sex she doesn't want relationship
>fallen madly in love with her
>just wants to be friends because she recently broke up with her ex cus her ex cheated
>the girl says I shouldnt tell my girlfriend
>she says I can't decide
>I tell her "I know what I want"
>she says -Friends.. that's what we want, good friends.

Wtf does that mean did she just fuck me and friendzone me? or is she jealous that i'm still in a 7 year relationship and want me to choose?
She's kind, offered me food and company for another day hasn't fucked my relationship over by telling anyone i cheated. But now i'm straight up ignoring her waiting for her to make contact.

Sauce for the love of God

I was stuck in something similar. Now that i've broken up with my ex i feel so much better with life. I wish i had done it sooner and not wasted 4 years of my life though. You just gotta do it, no regrets

Dude, are you me?

The thing is I don't really want to "fix" things with her. Yes, I really love her as a person because we've been together for so long, but that also means that I've long found out that she is not the one for me longterm.
For example, I'm 100% positive that marriage would never work out for us.
So with that, it's just a matter of how and when to break up with her.
You just have no idea how much stressed out and sad she can get over every problem that she comes across, it's really frustrating.
Now I could risk it and break up with her now/soon, or I could wait another year or so at least before she repays my mom, and stay trapped throughout that entire duration. I think that is basically my dillemma, since I know that I can't stay with her undefinetely.

Just rape her

that cuck feeling

Are you me?

im in the same situation.

I just saw a girl last night and im going out with another one today. Me and my " Ex " have been dating maybe 4 and a half years. Just recently have called it friends but because when she talks to me, its like talking to a door. I love her but i get so bored easily and could probably have more fun watching paint dry. We are just friends now but this crazy bitch thinks she can find someone to be with and I have to stay single. If i told her about me going to see a girl last night, she would flip shit and kill herself 100%.

I can't just tell her to fuck off though, im not that type of person.

pic related, her a few years back.

just fucking ask her to marry you when she gets back fuck it yolo

I've been in this shit once. Broke up. Couldn't help myself but feel bad as fuck. Half a year passed, I managed to get her back. Biggest mistake ever.

Luckly, she dumped me in another half a year. Two weeks later I'm in an awesome relationship that's ongoing for almost three years now.

No reason wasting your lives. Move on.

I'm in sort of the same situation. I've been with her about a year now and the magic is already gone. some say that to make a relationship work you have to try. you have to give all the time. But if that is what a relationship is, then I don't think I want one right now. I'm 21 so it might be a little easier for me, but like another user said my whole family approve of her. And the problem is she is quite beautiful and sweet. But she's so boring and shy. she frowns upon partying and doing wild stuff. the stuff ones supposed to do when you're in your 20s. I think she wants to start a family asap to witch doesn't help. I feel guilty for staying with her because I feels it's going nowhere.

Ur gf is going to get gangbanged.

I don't want that and also she would only take it for a joke. We've asked each other in marriage before (jokingly).

>to witch doesn't help

what

>And part of me believes that whichever woman I go with will end up the same
Nah man. There will eventually come a woman with whom the fun will seem to never end. You'll have to hope that she feels the same way though.
So either fix your relationship and actually think about what causes you to feel the way you do instead of dwelling in self-pity, because you do. If you're not willing to fight for your relationship, you don't deserve it anyways.
The other option, of course, is to break up.

>Portugal
dude, she will bang jorge and pedro for 6 months

Tell me about it

What do I do about the debt though? Trapped by my own mother

Why did you pay her bills and buy her an expensive computer if you wanted to break up with her? Also were you relieved afterwards or felt bad about spending your money/ the relationship ending?

Manoel, Joaquim and Pedro*

*she wants to start a family too, which does not help. autocorrect

Have you tried sucking dick?

correction, she most likely is already getting gangbanged. Cuck boyfriend just doesn't know.

Merry christmas from me....Enjoy the leak and check out this shit lol snap leak,cf

I did actually. It did not help my relationship at all. Why do you ask?

Its your life. Dont let money and other people hold you back from your happiness

Lopsided tits

I'm not you, but looks like all of us who are experiencing this are here at this moment, and that's kind of comforting.

I broke up once (many times actually but only one lasted for more than two weeks) with her too as stated above. I avoided her, I didn't need to "get her back" since she crawled and begged everytime. The reason for our breakup was because she was too insecure and was controlling (mad at every female in love with/talking to you, mad at you for everything that's a threat to your relationship).

The breakup straightened her moodiness but she's still very insecure.

She's cute, lovely and hardworking, has a full time job, she's 100% commited, shares every password with you, only loves you no matter when her workmates try to set her up with random dudes. She lets you do any fetish you have with her. I just don't understand why I don't feel the spark anymore.

Or maybe I do, but I don't know what to do from now on. I lost the feeling when I was insecure years ago and forced myself to lose the affection so I wouldn't feel like a jealous guy anymore. It worked but the feeling was gone with it.

Look dude, i dont want to be the 'cunt' here but seriously that some fucked up shit. My last partner of 3 years pulled that shit for an entire year, spat in my family's face because i dumped her, and pulled the multiple suicide trump cards on me and i feel for them each and every time. Eventually got her to agree on a 'trial separation' which ended up permanent with her sucking randoms cocks at the city nightclubs. They will do it because they expect you to feel bad, guilt fades with time anyway and as they say, acid does more to the vial its stored in then what its poured on or however the saying goes. But as a heads up im relatively drunk so if doesnt make much sense my bad. Chin up brother for what its worth.

Well, thanks for all your responses anyway. Guess I'll end it with her shortly before we travel and hope it goes well and that she doesn't trick my mom or kills herself.

I just need to find the courage to hurt her until then.

>Huge debt
>plane ticket

Best of luck man.
I'm actually glad I found someone in the same situation.

how do you feel about becoming a cuck, i'm from portugal, hit me up

a relationship is not a fucking toy you get to play with only when you want it, it's something you both have to work to make happen.. maybe she's fucking unstable because you're a soulless fuckwit. if she is attractive then while you are separated some guy will notice her, start being nice to her and she will probly convince herself that whatever you had together was false.. which it may have been..

That's a man, baby.


J/k

It costed over 4000 $ for a plane ticket to Portugal from where I live, due to it being far away and being bought kind of last minute because the visas take forever to get issued (also because the college is so fucking slow to send the approval letter). Blame Portugal for that. My gf is an unemployed student, so that is a considerable amount.

I should also add that my mom even payed for some of her medical check-ups as another measure for her safe travels.

It becomes a double edged sword when my gf and her family is way poorer than mine and my mom is gullible and religious enough to help everyone in need. (She's the type to give like 30 bucks for every homeless guy in the street)

this is a man

HAHA, YOU'RE HILARIOUS user!

Kek

Holy fuck guys. I'm in the exact same situation. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one, so thanks for that Sup Forumsros and good luck

I'm not OP, I'm the other guy. Without wanting to be offensive, the way you worded your post made it sound like you were just whiteknighting OP's girl and that you're just angry at him, maybe because you feel like his views are wrong, maybe because you felt like you've always wanted a girl and he's doing bad things to a girl.

It might be that there were some things that the girl did as well that made him lose the drive. It's not always because the guy is a "soulless fuckwit", tell you what, I never cheated on my girl, she's very controlling, doesn't let you be friends with Jenny because Jenny "has a nice ass and is friendly to you" etc. She's mad everytime I go to the toilet or go out for five minutes without replying. She's the one who responds to my texts so that I 'm not being attractive to girls etc.

I broke up with her after that and we straightened up that thing, she doesn't do that anymore, but one thing for sure is that I gave her attention, care, I diagnosed the problem and talked to her about it but she didn't want to change.

In situations like this, guys like you make it always sound like the guy was the one that was playing around. Chill down man.

Your fucked. Either wait until she pays back your mother or just break up with her now. If she kills herself well too bad, no sense in both of you wasting your time in a loveless relationship.

to all anons in this thread who don't know what to do with their "perfect" girlfriends.

at least we don't know, together the 4 or 5 of us in this thread.

Have you talked about this with your mother? Never underestimate the power familial wisdom

Despite my sour feelings, I'm pretty sure that I've been there for my girlfriend every time she needed me and then some more. Emotionally and physically and financially.
It's not my fault that I grew tired of the things we do in our relationship and of her mental unstability. I have nothing to do with that last part, or at least, I'm not the cause of it.

It was really nice for maybe a couple or 3 years during our relationship, we were genuinely in love. She's still very attached to me to this day.

I just don't know what to do now that I'm very invested in this relationship but I don't see it being my fault that my interested waned off over time. We are just very different, incompatible people that somehow managed to get this far specifically because we worked hard for it happen despite everything

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Your dumb ass can't seperate sex with emotion. Obviously she just wants sex right now, so take the sex or gtfo

No I haven't but I honestly don't know how I would go about it. I briefly thought about doing that but then gave up because my mom is very hard to deal with and we don't really get along very well.
Do you think it would be a good idea?

How much debt could a plane ticket to Portugal cost?

I'm one of the guys in the same boat.
Your mother might just tell you to stick with her. Happened to me with my brother's advice.

Ask yourself this OP:

> If you truly care for her in any way at all why would you trap her in a relationship with someone who's not madly in love with her?

Your relationship traps her with someone who's "meh" about her. You aren't doing her a favor, you are doing her wrong.

White knite that shit and then dump her ass.

> Mom's money? Two rules.

1. It's not your money so it's not yours to consider.
2. If you can't get over that, tell mom you'll pay her back and then give her what you can, every month, while you eat ramen.

I've never understood anyone who stays in a relationship "because I care about her" at all. If you cared about her you'd let her go find someone who loved her the way you used to.

In a nutshell, you are being a pussy for your own selfish reasons. Not her benefit.

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I forgot the exact figure, but as I said in another post, over 4K.

Be like Sup Forums and do what Sup Forums do.

I mean, it is her money. And you'll either hear an answer that you can wrote off as wrong or hear one that you realize is the better idea. Its like flipping a coin, once you toss it in the air you know which side you want to see

Quit being a pussy op and just dump the bitch

Interesting. I will have to try that I guess.
Once again, thanks for all the advice in this thread. I think I have a clearer idea about what I should do, or at least what I will try doing, and go from there.


I realize you are right, but it really isn't as simple as that. When you have an oversensitive girlfriend and she's in the midst of freaking out about a problem (most lately it was due to the visa, but has happened since forever in my relationship due to any kind of problem she faced), and thus not getting any sleep, calling you constantly in tears, exploding at every single turn, but you still love her as person, the last thing you want to do is upset her even more at that moment by breaking up with her. However, I guess I will really break up with her though, because your arguments make sense.

Also, I hope I get to fully enjoy South Korea and sex some bitches to help me forget. I will have to work on my game though or I will end up having to pay for sex (not a bad option though as long as I have money and it's not expensive)

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You autist. She just wants sexxxx. Don't be a clingy bitch and try to claim her, you pussyboi

I realize you are right, but it really isn't as simple as that

It is that simple.

You are embracing mediocre relationship status to protect yourself from the fear of ending it and giving her meh as a result.

What you further shared reminds me of my marriage. Almost 20 years with a woman like that. One drama after the other. No matter what I fixed something new would break.

Counseling taught me that this was how she controlled the world. She created problems, would have an event, and then I'd step in to be the hero and fix it.

...but then something else would trigger an event.

Eventually I broke and stopped fixing things.

You are walking into that. Your GF is controllilng you by calling in tears, exploding, etc. Love her or not, it's time to leave.

Before you start chasing bitches in Korea. Be single. Be new. Be foreign.

Your GF will be sucking cock in under a week either way. Break up first.

She has that borderline view in her eyes. I'm not kidding.

Thanks, and yeah I guess it sort of feels like what you've described. Maybe it is indeed simple, but it doesn't feel easy at all for me. I will do it though.
Also maybe I need to talk with my mom and her mom before to make sure that she won't default her debt, since it's my mom's money.

By the way what do you mean by "be new" and "be foreign"?

That's a shitty situation man, mist be soul sucking

What this guy says. It took me months to finally give up on my ex. But she liked playing a victem role where i would always come into place and be there for her. Hell i even brought food to her wprk, picked her up middle im the night when i was exhausted and waited hours many times in the late hours for her to come out of her work, because i let her. And she saw that and took advantage of it. Don't let your life be lived. I'll never go down the same road again with a girl.

You should put yourself on priority list #1 even if it sucks in the beginning when you break up.

Kill herself for you breaking up with her? Someone thinks rather highly of themselves eh?

That's what I do for her to. I have a car and she doesn't, so I'm very often picking her up and taking her to places all the time, and I also feel that if I broke up with her now, I wouldn't want to get into another serious relationship for a long time, and that I would value myself more and set some very important limits and barriers. The things is, right now that is impossible with her and it can't be helped.

Well I guess that is somewhat predictable since I was a lonely 20 year old desperate virgin when I first started dating her and now I'm a 25 year old man who feels is wasting the best part of his life in pointless relationship, as I'll soon be turning too old for the dating game. I've never even had another pussy because I value loyalty (and so she does) but I crave it so much. I also feel like it would be fairer to break up and chase pussy freely than to cheat behind her back anyway.

and the ugly people losers that smell like shit try to stop me from talking to girls

okay i'm good at this shit. first of all, is right, have fun getting your dick wet in SK, you've earned a little stress relief.

Second of all, okay you're dating a mentally ill girl who wont let you break up because she's suicidal.

So what do you do? Get HER to dump YOU.

Time to break out the annoying fetishes.

Wear diapers. only diapers. nothing else. show her your diapers at all opportunities and wiggle your butt at her and say cringy things like "baby loves his diapers". Constantly try to make her participate. Say "I cant cum unless you play with my diapers!" be really annoying about it.

or just tell her you're into cuckold porn now. every time she wants sex, deflect and say "wouldn't you rather have sex with Chad?" everytime she wants to kiss you, deflect and say "Wouldn't you rather have sex with my best friend chad?". Sound gay about it, tell her how sexy chad is and how good he smells and keep asking her how bad she wants to fuck him. CONSTANTLY talk about chad. Also constantly get second thoughts about having a cuck fetish, and DEMAND that she drop whatever she's doing to reassure you that you are, in fact, a real man.

she'll dump you.

Maybe that's an exaggeration, but it's still a possibility. Even if she wouldn't go that far, she would be severely depressed for a long while I'd imagine. She's very shy and doesn't have many friends at all.

Also, it's not because of me exactly, but because of how she is.

by trying to nark me out and ugly people and they the j ugly people losers smell like shit and it is very hard when to aviod the people that smell like poop like ugly people losers try to nark on you and hurt you withe lame thing by knowing everything

This is hilarious, and just might work.

been there twice solved it twice.
shes looking for an out. but she can't be alone.
you look for an out but she will probly kill herself. so ehres what you do. you befriend a new guy. a good guy, can't be a beta guy needs to be a good guy. if this is not an option you have to sacrifce a friend you already have.

now the manipulation starts. dont feel bad she threatens you with suicide just make yourself believe its for her own hood. now you talk this guy up. boosting the qualities in him that she admires or wants you to have. keep talkinging these qualities up until she has repaid your mom. now its action time. keep creating drunk drugged up settings doesn't maater what it is she needs an excuse to cheat on you. make thee endeours as romantic as humanly possible and leave time after time again. maybe stage a fight before you go to a romantic night out with her and your target friend. then make up some excuse and leave. do this 1 2 3 4 5 times and eventually they will hit it off couse you are not around for her emotionally she will cheat on you. then you play the victim role she will feel guilty but she wont be suicidal. also it will never be the same for ou and your target friend but hey, your life will skyrocket and you will feel better than you did in the past 5 years. its a hard plan i know. but its bulletproof if you play it right.

When you get to Korea you will be the new kid in town and have a foreigner status.

If you didn't already realize, that's pussy bait. New, unusual, if attractive and socially able that will get you attention.

and the ugly people losrs smell like sjit n try to isolate me the ugly way so i have to talk to women and the ugly people losers that smell like poop try to know everything to hurt me ugly way so can read me the ugly way yuj

1) remove all facebook and social media from your life.
2) improve your game by going to bars and clubs and just talking to women. (note: this is also a confidence builder. this is the best reason to go to a strip club. just don't buy any dances; just nurse one drink and chat up women who pretend to be interested in you)
3) sometimes you gotta suck it up and take the loss; your mom has more than likely written off that plane ticket already
4)There are so many ways to meet people now it's stupid; you will hook up again.
5) and just do what you want to do. the one thing a woman wants to do is ruin a man's fun. if you are having fun a woman will come along to either have fun too or ruin yours. either way you win.

You're not responsible for her well being. She's a big girl whatever she's gonna do she'll do regardless of what you do

its the fastest way to get rid of "i'll kill me if you leave me" girls