Can we get a mental illness thread?

can we get a mental illness thread?
anyone else find it impossible to talk to normal people?
lets not be so lonely

psychopath/narcissist here. anyone else have the loneliest disorder in the world?

Bpd and major depressive, sometimes I function okay but it usually requires alcohol or I can't stop analyzing people for being shitty or myself for thinking they're shitty.

i have a feeling the threads gonna die. would you wanna kik

schizophrenic standing by

How does it feel to be you?

On or off your meds currently? How does it present for you? My friend has auditory hallucinations and false memories when he's off his shit too long.

i think im better than everyone else but i think everybody should be treated just and equal. i dont act superior but people are still very put off by my eyes and my lack of natural knowledge of body language. i wish i had friends but people like me tend to not want friends, and people who arent like me have vastly different life experiences, making it impossible to get "close"

What is BPD?

also i want friends badly but i wont text or hang out with anybody.

I am honestly asking and not trying to be insulting, but this is not a form or autism, correct? I just want to understand the difference

off, tons of visual hallucinations constantly which I'm used to, and lots of delusions that lead to psychotic states when things get bad

Borderline personality disorder

I have heard the term before, but I don't quite understand what it means. What is a borderline personality?

Had two psychotic breaks in the last two years, one shorter and one longer.

How do you handle it for long periods of time without the anti psychotics?

people always thought i was autistic. i have psychopathy though, technically "aspd". I get along better with autistic people, but one of the key differences is that i cognitively understand body language and emotions, as they have their own but just dont know how to express them.

i scored 32/38 or whatever on the psychopathy test psychologists give and something close on the one for narcissism. this disorder expresses in many different ways, some seem bipolar and some seem autistic but what i actually have is really hard to diganose

Panic and Bipolar reporting. Crippling is what it is

Mpd is a blast

actually do any other miserable mentally ill people want to talk? im sick of acting normal for """neurotypicals""".

kik is lobsterbutter420

If I understand you correctly, you are aware of your disorders(is that the correct term?) and you want to, for lack of a better word, overcome them? I really hope I'm not coming off as an ass. I have (had) a girlfriend that struggled with mental illness to the point that she had to remove herself from everyone to try and get better. So talking to people suffering from mental illness gives me some insight into what she goes through.

I've been hospitalized because of psychosis a few times, longest was like 6 months.
I get enough sleep, I exercise, I eat right, and I don't drink or smoke. I think those are the biggest things.
I also have a therapist I see every 3 weeks for an hour and a psych doc I see maybe every 3 months.

One of the things that my ex was diagnosed with was bipolar disorder. I'm still trying to get some insight from other people with this disorder to really understand what she goes through.

well what happens as i try to teach my brain what sympathy or empathy should feel like, or certain other emotions like guilt, regret, and envy, i regret making myself feel normal but i know the whole point of life is to feel. so you cant overcome what i have, only choose between misery and living like a dead person )ie: crime, drugs, thrill seeking

My father was schizophrenic. When I was younger i had to live through a few breaks. As a kid it was terrifying

Difficulty being abnormal human being: self image, emotional regulation, impulsiveness, extremes in perception of others and others perceptions of self, too much emotion and I dissociate and shut down and lock myself away for days and piss in whatever is in my room so I don't have to leave it to see anyone or thing...

Major depressive disorder too though so I guess I'm not sure about the crossover stuff but I've been self harming with burns and screwing a corkscrew into my flesh since I was 11 and have acute and sometimes severe insomnia and weight gain and loss depending on lots of shit.

I feel like a constant burden on everyone all the time and want to give up everyday because of how much I've fucked up my chances and opportunities and let everyone down.

...

I'm sorry user :(

You can teach yourself sympathy or empathy? How do you do that?

>Depression
>Self diagnosed avpd
>And autism/aspergers
>Or maybe something else who knows
>inb4 depression isn't real

Thank you. As I grew I began to understand what he was going through. It made the memories easier, but ultimately a combination of bad medications and a screwed up VA system ended up giving him dementia. He died a couple of years ago barely knowing who I was

Oh and I'm 30 now; been hospitalized twice in the last two years for psychotic breaks, but only been taking medications for 2 years and I think they've helped.

I'm certain those in your life do not see you as a burden. And I'm sorry life is so hard for you.

I can usually interact with individual people in a passable manner, but when I'm in public places I quickly start freaking out. It's like my ears fill with the deafening noise of the blood pumping through my circulatory system, and a variation of the fight or flight instinct overwhelms me. It has ruined most of my close personal relationships with people. I fucking hate it. But I'm scared to seek help for fear that I'll just have to Guinea pig drugs (which very well might make it even worse), until something finally "works", eventually ending up living in a gray state of feeling neither joy or pain--a gray world where I feel nothing.

sounds like anxiety

epilepsy. not a mental disorder but has some comorbidities with the common ones. feel generally normal, if not a little apathetic now, was a little unstable before the drugs.

well you got another one with the same shit right here bro

smoke weed erryday

What is AVPD?

Avoidant Personality Disorder

Definitely. But people who have never experienced it firsthand easily dismiss it as not a "real" condition, since every special snowflake claims to suffer from it.

For years I smoked weed every day. I fucking loved it. Then a few years back something changed, and I just can't anymore. It just amplifies the anxiety tenfold.

I've never heard of this. What is this disorder, exactly?

Can anyone lurking talk about the pros and cons that they have found through meds?

>tastes good
:)

Checking those Satanic trips. Nice.

Also, please elaborate more on your ASPD. It seems many of us are genuinely curious.

>normal people

Your concept of "normal" people has been installed there by *other* people. Exactly those *you* don't perceive as "normal". So first, adjust your own perception of normality. Find your peers and try to see yourself as part of them. *Then* reconsider stuff in your head.

ADD.

I take adderrall every day. Feels good man.

I've been called a psychopath and a malignant narcissist.

I don't think I qualify as a full psychopath, because I still care about and love people, but I can turn my empathy off and kill you and feel nothing.

Guilt is (with one exception) never a thing for me; if I'm sorry for doing something, I just take care to avoid doing it again; guilt is counterproductive and spiritually toxic anyways,

I'm extremely violent, even comapred to the average psycho, and I almost never hang around anyone because my aggression is so intense - and it doesn't combine well with my extreme paranoia.

Tell us more. Did you try to self-medicate at all first.

Let's open that question up to everyone. Did anyone else try self-medicating before they finally found something that worked; and with what?

Seems like you might err more towards sociopath than psychopath.

No such thing as mental illness, its all just in your head.

Are you me?

temporal lobe epilepsy and some kind of dissociation disorder idk what though

Depressed as that fucking donkey from Winnie the Shit, my dudes.

schizophrenic reporting in

medicated I'm fine, symptom wise, but I can't work, my life got boring as fuck.

What's the difference, in your opinion?

I've been told a lot of different definitions for those words, but the difference basically is this: a psycho is the one with a butcher knife breaking in your back door who laughs at you and calls the cops for you and tells them your name just to fuck with your victim before stabbing them to death, and a socio is someone who makes shady business deals and takes all your money using a forged signature and poisons your coffee while you're out of the room after turning all your friends against you.

Hyperbole, obviously, but you get my drift.

I'm a caring person, and even loving sometimes, but I hate people, I have impulse control problems, and extremely lowered inhibitions.

I'm usually fine as long as I don't drink or take amphetamines around people I don't know, which is why I don't do that.

This:
Was a response to this:

Major depressive and bipolar ay. I taught myself how to function normally and weed is the greatest thing on planet Earth. They also think I have some form of ADHD but I'm also a computer syvant so it balances out.

Both conditions share similarities, but the difference seems to be that sociopaths still have a shred of conscience, even if it is not really a factor that influences their decisions. They know right from wrong on some level.

I just spent 15 days in the loony bin. shit sucked but i feel like i need to go back. felt like the only place somewhere people care about me.

But there are deeper factors. Psychopaths are pretty much born that way. Sociopaths are more a product of of their environment. Since you cited past substance abuse issues, and the ability to care about certain people, I'd think you fall more into the sociopath category.

We already have these threads. They're called trap threads! Ba dum tss!

Costanza?

...

I have no issues. Why are there so many introverts here....

They did brain scans at an RTC I was at as a kid, and the part of my brain associated woth empathy is smaller or deformed somehow.

I don't know that I have a "conscience", per say. I don't think of morality in the way that normalfags do. I don't feel "guilt" or have much inihibitions, again.

I am a nice person a lot of the time, or I was before I had such an awful run of luck that turned me into a bitter asshole, but at my core part of me is pretty nice.

But I'm not nice because of a conscience or any of that bullshit. Fuck morality. Sometimes I help people because I want to and because it makes me feel good.

I'm extremely loyal, and have my own code on how to handle situations and people, but it's not morality in the way you would think of it... just a rabid loyalty to those I care about.

But it's not because of a sense of "right" or "wrong". I just do.

aspergers here

totally functional with talking to normal people to the point of being successful

GTFO normalfag.

Nobody wants you here.

Hi matt

boohoo has to use normal even though I'm better.

how did you know it's me

that's fucking creepy

>me

you watch what is socially acceptable based off the reaction to what you say/do.
Observing others works well in practicing it. Once you do it melts into your brain like you have always known to do it. It's social conditoning

your not me

>this is juicy

You're not betgter, you're a fucking normie faggot who probably doesn't even cybercrime or drugs or terrorism or devil worship or even fap to lolis.

This is not a normie site, get out, you're not one of us.

>turned me into a bitter asshole
Along with the chemical dependency issues, this shows more evidence of environmental factors.
>Sometimes I help people because I want to and because it makes me feel good
This demonstrates, at least in some capacity, a sense of understanding right from wrong.

You might be some hybrid of both socio/psychopathy, but from our limited interactions here, I would still tend to think of you as more of a sociopath. But it seems like you are sharp enough to understand your condition, and a desire to contain it, so that is definitely a positive.

So maybe "asperpergers" is just a stupid word for struggling, but successful people?

And success just a synonym for "fruits of struggle"?

Is being a sociopath a mental illness or a privilege since I don't really give a fuck about anything.

>Along with the chemical dependency issues, this shows more evidence of environmental factors.

Maybe. My whole biological family is like that, though. But they're all also empathetic to some degree with a strong degree of pseudo-morality in certain cases. (I say "pseudo" because my father is doing 4 years for dealing drugs, and basically they're all drug addicts, crimincals, and gang members, but they have a strong sense of morality, too.)


>But it seems like you are sharp enough to understand your condition, and a desire to contain it, so that is definitely a positive.

I don't give a flying fuck. It's been such an awful few years that I'm close to losing it and really not giving a fuck anymore, just let it all out.

Some days I just wanna kill peopl who tormented me and then myself. My situation just never seems to get better...

Snap, user.

Even normies fantasize about going all "Falling Down" (movie) to get revenge on the assholes who make life miserable. Just keep working to understand your mind and be the best you that you can be. Not sure how old you are, but it honestly does get easier as you age. Keep up the good fight, user.

I've been a big weed smoker for years. Worked on farms in CA and stuff. If I was awake I was stoned. In my experience this is a sure fire way to mental illness. When I'm smoking I'm incredibly negative, very short temper and always angry with everyone and everything. When I'm not smoking I can begin to function normally, after maybe 5 days. Sucks, 'cos I love being high, but it simply is not good for my state of mind.

I have emetophobia. You know that feeling you get right before you vomit? I live with that every day but I rarely ever get any relief. Diagnosed with this shit about 15 years ago, and it controls my life to this very day. I will probably die young because of heart issues caused by 24/7 stress.

But how close do they come to actually doing it?

Probably not nearly as.

I'm tired of being alive. Life sucks. I want to keep fighting, and if anything improves in a big way, UI'll do that, but you couldn't even comprehend what my life has been like.

And every 13 year-old emo faggot says that, but you have no idea...

My therapist tried to talk me into suicide because my life was so miserabe, and that was before any of the worst stuff even happened.

I'd love nothing more than for things ti improve, but things look like they're headed wonhill really fast.

Exact opposite for me.

I don't smoke much, but when I did, I was happy, social, able to make/keep friends.

Beofre that, I was a psychotic, friendless, wannabe serial killer, and now, I'm a hateful, depressed, violemt suicidal humanity-hater who's on the very edge.

I wish I could get opiates prescribed for depression. Those worked better than anything.

As a child I was always locked in my room and beaten when leaving it or eating without permission, to this day I suffer much trauma and severe agoraphobia from it yet nobody understands why I cant talk to people. You guys get it...

What kinda personalities do you have?

For me, drugs are just a way of trying to mask my depression and stop my brain constantly spinning with all the reasons I think the world, and humanity, is fucked.
In the past I've done a lot of things that helped. Loads of yoga, but basically anything that involves conscious breathing and awareness, but for a few years now have let my practices lapse. Should get back to it, but for some reason I won't allow myself to...

I don't use drugs anymore, but I was much happier and functioned much better when I did. Make of it what you will.

Alcohol was unquestionably bad, but pot and opiates had their positives.

I don't really want to go back to that, but I don't really know what to do, either.

No one will ever have the exact same experiences that makes you "you". Life often sucks, is miserable, and is usually fucking brutal in general. I can't imagine it any other way. At least that let's you know that you are indeed alive. Channel your experiences and wayward energy into some kind of creative endeavor: write, paint, learn to cook like a pro, make music... Find a new therapist--one who actually helps you in a meaningful manner. Read. Travel. Expand your mind. Don't let your own limitations hold you back. Give yourself some room to breathe. Who knows? It might change your perspective on life.

Aspergers + constantly dropping acid and smoking weed, so just an all around space sponge. I don't know how to NOT let my intense interests interfere with conversations. Usually just try and limit those topics to my best friend because she's into a lot of the same stuff but am super worried about crossing the line of annoyance. Dont know what I'd do without that bitch.

I wish my mind and body were properly working.

I'd love nothing better than to meditate properly, but something's keeping me from doing that...

Drugs wouldn't even be an issue if I could meditate.

Yes, well, I'm suffering extreme brain damage that makes all of that difficult... if I could have my mind back, it'd be no problem... I'd love to read, travel, and expand my mind, but it's hard when all my neurotrasmitters are fucked up and my brain isn't wired properly....

If I could just have my CNS fixed and get my chakras back, it'd make a difference so huge I wouldn't be recognizable...

but mostly I just sit around thinking about how much I want that back...

I got sucked into opiates too. Hard. At first they seemed like the answer, until they became an extreme burden.

Legit terrible depression, dunno what level my anxiety is, but it's intense homie.

I smoke a shit load of weed to ease the depression, same for anxiety.

that's probably true, but I quit without rehab.

I did the same with cigarettes; I can become addicted to things, but I have no problem quitting.

I wish I could meditate properly so that I wouldn't need drugs at all, because any drug s just a cheap substitute for what your brain can really do.

We are Homo sapiens. That translates to "wise man". Wisdom takes time, but if we play our cards right we eventually get there. But while we work to get there, our best attribute is the ability is still present. We have the uncanny ability to adapt to any and all circumstances, Thankfully, our particular species is the master of that art. I know this is cliche advice, but stop looking back at what you have lost. Look forward, and give the world the hardest kick to the groin that you are capable of delivering. Make the best of your situation. Don't be a spectator in your own life.

Same here. I now value having a clear, sharp mind more than any of that temporary relief ever offered.

*our best attribute is still present

I catch your drift