The new year is upon us Sup Forums. What are your New Year's resolutions?

The new year is upon us Sup Forums. What are your New Year's resolutions?

Maybe my suicide attempt will succeed this time.

>Anything that makes it better than 2016

To not get caught again

I want to take the worlds longest piss. That probably will never happen though.

This. Best resolution

caught doing what?

my friend tried doing this and recorded it on his phone; pissed for 67 seconds straight

Got caught stealing lights off a cop car, not fun times, wasn't even gonna use them, just wanted them

That's a lot of piss. Did he clothes pin his dick shut or something? I tried holding it in really long before but I suffer the problem that I'll either start leaking out or as I go to pull my dick out I lose just enough control that I start pissing as soon as it's out of my pants.

To fuck a horse

Why would you want to fuck your own mother?

I can barely make it above 40 seconds, how the fuck did he piss for more than a minute?

Top kek

To get more gondola in the thread

...

MODS

qt gf

I resolve to do absolutely nothing to make myself a better person.
Also this.

you just drink fluids until you're about to piss yourself. then you drink a bit more.

did you get charged with a misdemeanor or something? I stole a sign from a parking lot and a cop wrote me a citation for it

leave Sup Forums forever

Stop smoking
Become more social
Don't miss classes

Stop being a cringeworthy faggot is mine

sounds like me. I think i am more social than i used to be, need to go to class more often though. Smoking has definitely been causing this

I did get a misdemeanor, but when they searched me, they booked me because I had a warrant out for my arrest for a court hearing I fled for a dwi, possession of an illegal firearm, possession of illegal drugs, and trespassing government property

this

but you are on the chan

you are a cringeworthy faggot

Don't set yourself up for failure like that. It'll just lead to more depression.

>the chan
You're worse than he is.

Never touch alcohol again.

Story?

>I resolve to do absolutely nothing to make myself a better person.
>going to commit suicide

>says the chan
>tells someone else they are a crinheworthy faggot

low quality bait, lad

that would make him a better person though

I'm going to continue my exercising and lose weight and finally pick a path to choose for a better future.

I plan to go 4k, but 1080p is still fine.

i can't tell the difference to be honest

I want to design more dragon dildos and fight to make my indie silicone toy company succeed.

I AM GOING TO GET SOME FRIENDS

I'LL FAIL

wait what kind of smoking are u talkin about?
I mean regular cigarettes. I stopped smoking weed a few years ago since it was causing paranoia for me.

lose weight
im tired of being a fat bodybuilder
i planned this a year ago
and it failed
now i will lose weight and have a good body that girls loves
my main goal:lose weight get shredded af achieve 6-8 packs of abs
fuck alot of girls
thats it
boost my confidence too

dayum son are u black?

Mine is to start my own cult and this will be our logo

Not really sure OP, I don't make new years lists because I know I won't follow them. Maybe dress better, I can't really think of anything.