It's a Truman sits down to pee episode

>it's a Truman sits down to pee episode

>truman is alone
>he thinks something
>answers himself aloud for no reason

>its a Truman hasn't jerked off in while so he cums way harder than expected and hits himself in the face episode

>the 3 week arc of him trying to suck his own penis

You mean... you don't? That's not normal?

>it's a truman sniffs his own shit episode

>its a Truman posts in a Trumanposting thread using shameful stories from his real life thread

What if jim carrey was the actual one who starts these threads for the fuck of it?

>it's a Truman realizes that without the show no one will ever care about him again and he will never be as loved as he once was so he drinks heavily and starts threads about himself on Sup Forums episode

>it's a Marlon brings over the wrong brand of beer so Truman ties him up in the basement for a week episode

thanks for continuing my meme fampai

Standing to pee is dumb unless you're at a urinal or outside or something. Standing and peeing into a sitting toilet is retarded.

>he can't aim his pee into a toilet bowl without sitting down

Shitter's like a foot wide how is your aim that bad?

it should be illegal to be this bad at peeing

>it's a Truman hears the N word for the first time in his life and can't stop saying it episode

>it's a Truman drinks a little bit too much at a party in order to work up the courage to talk to the new chick his friend invited that would "totally be into" him and his quirky charm but Truman fucks up and goes home early without telling anyone he left episode
>again

this

im a sissy girl who loves to sit down to pee

DELETE THIS

>It's a Truman actually manages to pull himself together and be a charming and outgoing person for long enough that a nice girl he just met shows interest but he's gotten so used to rejection that he didn't pick up on her being interested so he missed his chance episode
>AGAIN

Truman shitposts and masterbates on Sup Forums episode.

So a rerun then?

>sit down to literally everything else in life
>sit down to pee then you're a faggot
ok

you don't take your pants down and sit for everything else in life, you can't equate the two

I just have to lift the bowl, unzip, and go.

If I want to sit I have to undo my belt and undo the button and then pull my pants down and then fix all that.

>It's a Truman remembers embarrassing things he did as a teenager and starts screeching and punching the walls episode

>"Surprise party you kike loving son of a bitch!"
Why did they let Raimi write the lines for Marlon?

>it's a HBO skillfully put in placements of GoT without letting Truman know about the show episode

>it's a Truman pees in the sink so he doesn't have to walk to the bathroom episode

I know its hard to piss with chastity device

>Its a Truman masturbates to his own pile of feces while reading Guns & Ammo episode

>It's a Truman thinks the Third Reich had some valid points episode

>it's a Truman comes home from work and finds his wife being BLACKED episode

I sit down while I pee

there's nothing that strange about me

>it's a Truman listens to Steve Vai shredding
>pretends it's him in high school in front of everyone

It's a Truman celebrates 9/11 episode

>I sit down while I pee
>there's nothing that strange about me

uh, yes there is.

>it's a "truman goes on a killing spree but the cops cant shoot him, else the show will end" episode

>Its a Truman runs for Mayor as an NSDAP candidate episode

>he doesnt read the ipad for a few minutes and just enjoy the solitude

way to be an extroverted hurried piece of shit, fuck you

>It's a Truman drinks until he passes out to stave off crushing depression and loneliness episode

You'll never top yesterday's thread. Why force it bro?

>its a Truman kidnaps and tortures the neighbors pets episode.

>pretends it's him in high school in front of everyone

Was Marlon an alcoholic?

>high school was 15 years ago and I still do this

They all cheer for me. They all cheer for me.

>it's a "Truman hangs out at the girl's soccer match" episode

Where do you think you are? Eventually they'll wittle the meme down to one word they can post in all caps and Truman posting will truly begin.

Missed yesterday's thread. Archive link?

>it's a Truman browses Sup Forums again tonight and jerks off twice episode

...

I guess he could be conditioned to do that sort of thing 100% of times. Even normal people do this sometimes. He was just raised on purpose to do that thing all the time. Maybe sometimes even when he is not so much alone. And all other actors are instructed to act like they don't hear nothing to not dispell the effect.

>You are actor playing friend of Trumans wife
>You must sit through akward double date with them
>All the time Truman whisper silently of all the way he would fuck you
>You are not allowed to show anything

TRUMAN MASTURBATING EPISODE

>it's a 'truman has an ibd and shits 10 times a day' episode

You ever sit down the opposite way? As in facing the bowl? It's tight man, try it.

I have to sit down because I get light headed when I stand up and would probably faint if I didn't sit

>it's a Truman cries himself to sleep again because he feels worthless and alone and there's nothing to look forward to in life

>episode

>It's a Truman watches Bob Ross' Joy of Painting series on Netflix at 3am because it's the only thing that gets his mind off of his problems and shortcomings long enough to help him drift off to sleep episode
>It's a Truman tears up wyen Bob Ross talks about happy accidents and waiting for the good times to start episode
>It's been this episode in a row every night for longer than Truman is comfortable to admit

Why exactly is your life so terrible?

>it's a Truman overdoses on a bottle of placebos, wakes up at 2 AM and vomits pathetically while crying and panting hysterically episode

It's not so bad, I'm just not a content person and I'm always wanting more. I do actually watch Bob Ross before bed though it's maximum comfy and makes me happy. I just like Truman posting; it's the patrician form of shitposting. Plus sometimes if other anons know there is someone else out there that is also in a rough patch it might help them put it all in perspective and maybe my Truman posting will boost their morale about their own struggles. Sometimes you just gotta feel with someone you will never meet in real life, user

>It's the Truman sneaks into his neighbours house whilst the kids are bathing, snaps pictures then leaves without a trace episode

>It's a Truman is happy he's alive but also suspects the grass would be greaner if he's dead episode

i'm weird, i make people uncomfortable, i'm alone, no friends, no gf, no hope. i can't change i don't know how what to do t-bh f-amalam

>it's a Truman watches as his friends have successful, fulfilling lives with their families as he slowly withers away in his parents' house episode

I vote for "OH TRUMAN!"

>friends
>aka disgusting normies who would stab you in thr back for $10
>gf
>aka a whore that will bleed you dry then cheat on you
Trust me, you're not missing much. As long as you live in a first world country, have food to eat, water to drink, a bed to sleep in and don't have any major diseases your life is better than most people.

>I have real problems guys
>Oh what are they?
>I don't get on well with other people
So fucking what
Are you really still stuck in the muh friends muh social circles high school mentality? There are higher pursuits user
Serotonin, endorphins and dopamine are all just drugs that cloud your perception of reality
Your emotions betray you
Rise above

you won't understand unless you've been so depressed and anxious that you literally can't function, when going to the supermarket to get food seems impossible

>There are higher pursuits user

You will find that pursuing those goals is a lot better when you have friends and a girlfriend/boyfriend to share your experiences with

>its a Truman dresses up as Hitler for halloween because he wasn't taught about WW2 and has recently seen Chaplin's "The Great Dictator"

who cleans your toilet?

>It's a Truman pretends to be Australian and shitposts about cocks for the entire evening on Sup Forums until the redditors start crying in /qa/

>It's a Truman spends the entire day posting why his anime waifu is better than other people's anime waifus and then demands chicken tenders episode

>its a Truman gets tickled and accidentally shits himself episode

At least you have a supermarket to buy food from and enough money to do so. I don't need to hear your self-pity resulting from manufactured problems.

>only material problems are valid
>people with mental problems should just harden up

Are you aware that Truman's Show was a movie and not a real reality show, right? Nothing of the silly things posted here actually happened.

>I feel ANXIOUS :(
>I don't have a GIRLFRIEND :((
Wow, so horrible. I feel so bad for you. You have it so much worse than people with cancer, people with IBDs that make them shit 10 times a day, people paralyzed from the neck down, people living in war torn countries without access to clean water or food, much less the internet to bitch about their problems. Schizophrenia is a mental problem, not your le anxiety bullshit. They fucking wish that all they had to worry about was feeling nervous when going to the store because some misguided idea people judge their every move when in reality no one gives a shit and will forget them in 5 minutes, or feeling nervous because the cashier is some cute girl they've been hopelessly in love with for months but never spoken a word to or even made eye contact with. Get over yourself, you whiny bitch.

really makes you think

>being this butt-blasted by typical r9k posts

howdy reddit, your first night here?

>It's a Truman realises he's inside a reality show, then further realises that reality itself is a mere illusion. He then transcends reality, subliming from this existence episode.

I have problems probably with prostate and sometimes when i stand and pee i get minor pains in my urethra because all the urine hasn't come out. That's why i usually sit down to pee.

this better be a pasta or it's a really bad case of summerfag

Mental issues don't work by competition, but good post nonetheless.

how does being an actor in the Truman Show even work?

let's say you play the part of his wife. you obviously make gorillion dollars for playing one of main roles in the most important tv show of all time, but what can you do with your money? you are stuck in some make-believe town. what can you spend the money on?

>someone's not a whiny bitch
>must be le summer xD

So your wife, her son, and her husband can live an expensive life of luxury outside in the real world.

Let me say it straight: It's not a fucking issue. It's a made up problem so you can bitch about things.

>look mom i'm a big boy on the internet now

>le call him reddit meme xd

This nigger was claiming his life is so bad and oh, so miserable and when asked why, it turns out he is just some loser that can't get a pussy and agonizes over it. He is little drama queen and I can perfectly understand why people get angry with his posts

Also, how would someone know what a typical /r9k/ post looks like if he had never been to /r9k/, you gave it a thought, Einstein?

i can tell you're a fucking newfag by how you try to rationalize every dumb post and turning everything into an argument that you have to win

I'm a germaphobe and I dislike the splash from the dirty toilet onto my pants

More like how much did Truman earn throughout the entire series?

>its a Truman stands up to wipe episode

50 gorillion dollars times zero.

>sit down to pee
>feel like I empty more of my bladder

>>It's a Truman actually manages to pull himself together and be a charming and outgoing person for long enough that a nice girl he just met shows interest but he's gotten so used to rejection that he didn't pick up on her being interested so he missed his chance episode
>>AGAIN
FUCK YOU
SHE WAS ALWAYS BUSY AND IS BEAUTIFUL

In the beginning of the movie the actress who played Truman's wife said something along the lines of
>"For me there's no distinction between Truman show life and real life"

I'm fairly sure the actors/actresses had contracts that had to be renewed yearly or something

So you can tell if someone is newfag if they follow some custom criteria you made, yes?

Wow, and I bet it has 100% success rate too! I mean, HOW could you ever be wrong, right?

I remember some guy years ago, I think it was on Sup Forums that got baited so hard I couldn't even convince him he that was bait because he was so adamant I am just a newfag and everything I was saying was just saving my ass. He even made some retarded 'test' to check my newfaggotry and lo and behold, turns out I was a newfag after all. I mean, not like his test was skewed to get some specific result or anything...

Anyway, I went on for some time, so, as a special favor to you, here is an advice to wrap things up - you aren't the smartest one around and here and don't assume everyone you talk with is a retard. Sometimes they are right and sometimes you are. But acknowledge that you also can be mistaken about certain things.

>Its an election year
>They let Truman know the names of candidates and parties in real USA but the issues are softened
>Truman is discouraged to express his political support
>There is no camera in voting booth