Let's get a secrets/confessions thread going anons

Let's get a secrets/confessions thread going anons.

...

haha this thread has NEVER gotten good

I fell in love with aliens and now they want to harvest my brain matter for science plz save me

Go dogger evil pupper !

I like them. Granted I haven't really visited these threads in a month, but it's not like it can be any worse.

I'm an emo twink boipucci faggot.Everyone thinks I'm a slut but I only had sex twice and I'm only looking for a boyfriend...

niggers tongue my anus

My car fingered in the back of my mom's friend

I love to piss in my panties and pants

but who was drive??!

I'm straight but really get turned on by cock

I feel like the reason why I enjoy cringe threads so much is because deep down I know that if I didn't have a gf in high school I could have easily become one of those kids. There have even been moments in my adult life where I was just one drunk text away from making an appearance in those threads and that scares me. I think laughing at the betas and glowing in the schadenfreude is my way of killing that memory.

Back in HS I knew this girl who would fuck the guys in the swimming team cuz the teams coach (her father) would make her do it, it went on till she graduated from HS

I want my gf to suck multiple cocks at the Same Time. Get Hard as Rock thinking bout that.

still think dogger is cute. would still pet

>I'm straight but...

Gets me everytime.

Proof

Drive was an alcohol

Where are you located?

Romania, why?
>I'm straight
>mfw

I bulk buy cigs from china for dirt cheap and sell them to homeless coons to turn a tidy profit

would you ever consider killing yourself?

No you do not.

Im 20 y.o. failed musician, been dealing with depression since 16. I am constantly dissatisfied with My accomplishments, and im too scared to give My music Angel actual release, outside soundcloud, because I fear people dont like My music and Will talk shit about me. This has already happened in middle school and im afraid in Highlights school too, since I didnt really have any real friends there. Im Thinking of killing myself no later than when im 27 to get some of that Elliot Smith fame around My local community

pointless reply

Cause we fuck yo mama. :)

Would you consider killing yourself right now? If so can you leave a note blaming me?

No, I'm not that mentally ill.
Would you, user?

She has a bigger penis than your head so plug yo asshole

No you do not.

I never got laid in HS and I will say this. That lack of social interaction really does skew your perception of life. I had loads of friends but it never went further than that until a little while after HS. Admittedly, thinking back I did say/ do cringy things but gladly it was never over the top more like regular awkward teenage things.

Sure, ill blame some random normie from the ruins of Sup Forums. Just realize how Shit this place has become

If you're too scared of people talking shit about your music you need to learn that not everyone is going to like you/ what you do. And that's perfectly okay

Also you're 20 years old. You have much more time to make music people hate

Now i get why you are so retarded.. She molested your pooper (her cum dump) the frustration must be huge, end it, it wont hurt, just one cold blade on your neck for one fraction of a secound, you can do it. :D

Because i want to pump your faggot ass full of cum

Typical answer from a 15 year old autistic kid.

I'm straight for you then

>Thinking of killing myself no later than when im 27 to get some of that Elliot Smith fame around My local community
lol
you should print this out and keep it in your wallet and read it in a few years. You'll alugh at hwo fucking stupid you ng people can be.
If you think killing yourself is like silently deleting yourself consider this: my best friend from high school killed herself. Pills. She went into a coma, died 3 weeks later - on Valentine's Day.
Come Christmas Eve, her mom lost her mind with grief over Christmas without her daughter, ran out of the house, all the way to a highway where she ran into traffic (on purpose) and was hit by a two truck and two cars and killed, obviously.
A family of four wa reduced to a ruined, shell-shocked father and a son in less than a year.

My uncle fucked me regularly for about two years starting from when I was 10. Looking back on it, some of the most fun and best times I've had in my life.

palms sweaty knees weak arms heavy vomit sweater moms spaghetti.

>two truck
tow truck

All the more reason to do it

read and listen to this don't do it, not worth it. it gets better and there is help out there.

"15 yo autistic kid" you mean the way your initial comment was?

...

I suck my stepdads dick sometimes (gay)
I pee all over the toilet in public toilets and airplanes
I sucked off my uncle in his sleep when I was 11
I like to kill slugs. I will collect slugs from the garden and I'll torture them.

Already peed in my bed this morning, I fear I'm empty now... Sorry.

I like spaghetti but only on Tuesday you got that? Okay good

kek, hot

Or - do it, and don't care what some faggots on Sup Forums think

18 years old and don't enjoy anything except going to my favourite club while fucked up on DXM.

>I pee all over the toilet in public toilets and airplanes
I do that too. Shame on me, I know. Still, I do that.
Sometimes, when I have the occasion, I also like to pee in sinks, or on the floor.

how old was she

>in his sleep
sure

I mix my jiz with the food at my resturaunt. It's the only sexual satisfaction I have left.

This sounds like the classic case of why we need homoacceptance

So you peaked sexually at 11 and now you get off on killing defenseless creatures.
Just die already.

Dude, peeing in sinks is the fucking best. Don't have to waste water flushing the toilet, it's awesome. Just don't tell your gf you're doing it, women get weirded out about it,

I am a professional banana shitposter. sometimes I get tired and suicidal, but then I remember how shitty the YLYL threads would be (lets be honest, they suck) without me, it gives me the will to live. also I'm a casual criminal, broke over 50 laws including armed assault and robbery

...

Are you me? I like to pee in the sink and on the floor too.

I had a guy when i was very kid.. loved every second of it

I was just exploring ;)
Killer slugs. you're supposed to kill them or they destroy your garden.

don't kill slugs

I like to dress up as pic related and seek out old, fat men in public at night in places where I can suck them off/get fucked, like car parks close to nudist beaches etc.

also my banana folder size it 4000 pics, 400 gifs and 100 webms.

are you a guy or girl? how'd you meet him, and how old were you, etc.?

When my nephews stay at my house I sometimes let them shower with me and my gf, she is fine with it. Their parents are retard godfags who shelter them from reality, especially when it comes to nudity/sex. She was the 1st girl they saw naked up close. trying to teach them that nudity/sex isnt some evil taboo to be ashamed/fearful of. if parents knew they would probably freak out and have a stroke or something lol.

m/f?

no, that's snails. and only if it's an infestation. my asian friend's mom cooks them

m

>50 laws lol
Public sodomy 50 times doesn't count friend

do they ever realize you're a boy

Are you pretending to have down syndrome?

I pretend to be an 18 yr chick online and catfish old perverts into sending me money.

You gonna need more brain.

WARNING
WARNING
WARNING
WARNING

teach me master

tell us everyone's ages

no, they're killer slugs (spanish slugs). i live in europe. snails are cool. i used to have them as pets when i was little

fuck dude that's actually really smart

Yeah, I'm not that convincing when looking at my face (which is why I wear a sort of mask that makes me more passable...).

yes :3

only like 15 of them are criminal offences. I'm not gonna list them here, not behind 7 proxies atm because on phone. theres countless random laws that are easily broken, its not a such big deal anyway.
I'm mostly just proud of that I'm a banana shitposter, keeping these shitty ylyl threads alive for newfags by bumping them

Wow now I Just feel like shit

I caught my boss fucking a hooker at work on the day that his wife was giving birth to his child. He beg me not tell his wife due to the fact she was on suicide watch for the pass 4 months. So I blackmail till this day.

I could fuck you

She was 15 when it started

...

You suckin his dick too?

holy shit did anyone notice that they brought (You) back??

why'd her dad make her do it? i'd guess he was fucking her too

Backpage. I get my pics from Sup Forums. You'll need a bunch of the same girl young and cute. Download a text app to get a different phone number. When they inevitably start texting Tell them you won't meet them without getting a 50 dollar deposit because "you've been screwed over" times with "guys not showing up" they can't resist the thought of fucking young pussy and they send the money then you block them and move on to the next faggot. You have to create a new email address aswell

I committed the Whitechapel murders back in '88.

i jack off to having sex with men. think im almost at a point where i can accept it and actually move on with myself to being an actual human being who interacts with other people.

I never left.

Witnessed

I don't know how to let loose and relax because I'm afraid I'll say/do something stupid in front of people I like or someone records it

Jesus

Im 23, gf 19, they are 8 & 10. Have done it quite a few times.